Yes.....so it is complete

My timetable's for the sem is finally done! Wohoo! I got all e tutorial slots i want!

And and and....Im officially gonna step down from SWAPS 18th exco tomorrow.

And and and....I bought all my books!!

And and and...a certain someone will be back......

And and and....my butt still aches..and its been since the DnD! Pema thinks its a lower back pain..oh dear. NOt again. Must maintain good posture!

And and and....Im gonna visit my grandma...

And and and...

(argh su teck is here and he wants to use this laptop now....ok ok ok)

cant believe it!

I STILL cant log in to Cors!!! What is wrong with you people? This has never happened before! They've even extended the balloting till tmr 9pm!!!! Must be you freshies. Must be.

I cant believe i wasted an entire day fretting over my tutorial balloting........its like e page keeps hanging! Worse thing is that my modem is down and hence the network im tapping into is highly unpredictable....gosh....must get someone to ballot for me soon....that is, if they can get in, in the first place.

Please.........i want my tutorial slot......

:(

Balloting and stuff~

I do not like CORS. I have till 5pm to ballot for my tutorials......at this rate....hmm....

Anyway, with regards to the last post, well i guess its too bad for both of us, you know, the way i interpreted yesterday's incident. I can always say that I regret posting it...and bla bla bla...and feel all guilty for being so over sensitive and i even considered deleting the entire post cos i felt embarrassed. But come on, its not my fault i felt that way. It just happens that i felt like that. Im only human. Like i said, i guess its just too bad.

Thank you so much for your email, A. At least we both know how the other party feels about what happened.And i take great comfort in knowing that it wasnt intentional.

The incident is over and done with...and i hope that we can put this behind us.
I do want things to be cordial between us...and i guess, you know, that it'll be funny the next time i see you...which will be in a few hours time. Its gonna be weird.

And regarding textbooks/readings.....its nothing to do with you lar....its just that im inherently selfish when it comes to lending books. I admit it! It doesnt matter who it is.....i just have this fear that something will happen to my book....or that when i suddenly need the book for some reason, i'd discover that "shucks, its not with me"......Thats why i kept telling my friends who wanted to borrow my books to get their own...i mean particularly if youre gonna major in that subject! Why scringe? Its an investment.. hahha...Im willing to lend my excessively annotated book to you...after all, you only need it before you get yours. :)

Grumble grumble toil and whatever

What a nice sunny day. And im home from school! Feels great to be home early. Konked out when i came back yesterday after class.

Anyway, am feeling pretty down cos of a particular incident this morning. The following scene involves three people, me, A and B. Lets just say, for purposes of anonymity( how do you spell that darn word), that we've been friends for quite some time.

So after a particular lecture, I decided to ask A, who was sitting beside me, where she was headed too. Simply out of common courtesy. Maybe its just me but I do like to ask people like "oh hey, glad lects over...where you guys headed to?". Its not like im asking because i intend to join but you know..just for conversational purposes and stuff. But the reaction i got from these 2 people not only hurt me, but left me feeling so patronised and insulted. Hadnt felt that for a long time. But it hurt.

So here's MY interpretation of what happened.

Me: So where are you headed to, A?
A: Oh, im meeting a junior for lunch.
Me: Oh ok! Im like done for the day. (smile)
Me: So B, where are you headed to now?
B: Now? As in now? (looking absurdly flustered as if my qn was a trick qn. which kinda triggered my huh-whats- gg-on button)
Me: Yar... (feeling like something's up..and i knew what it was...but am seriously hurt that i was being patronised)
B: Im having lunch with A. (with a pained expression, full of pity for me)
Me: You mean A and her junior? (i mean how come A conveniently left the fact that B was gonna be with her????)
B: Yar.

I was like okay....I mean, quite frankly, i dont give a damn about not having lunch with you guys. I really dont. Its just that you guys seem to be hiding it from me. Why? It hurts me even more that you cant even be frank with me. You patronise and belittle me like as if i'd be crushed that i wasnt invited. I honestly wouldnt be. Im crushed now, however, that you guys seem to deliberately try to cover up.....
Worse, B tried to "mend" things by gg to the co-op with me. Oh whatever

SHEESH.

I once said to A that if i was ever mad at her, id tell her. But know what? I dont think so. Not this time. Cos im not angry. Im hurt and disappointed.

I hope the two of you are reading this. Call me a coward but id rather have you chance upon this than me having to face you and tell you how i feel because i know that the next time i do see you guys, i would have forgotten this myriad of negative emotions that im feeling now.


And for God's sake, learn from this, fellow blog readers. Its not nice to hurt people's feeling by excluding them.....i mean you can if you want lah...but if you wanna cover it up, at least take some lessons in doing it tactfully.

Thanks.

Food

What a boring sunday. Am quite annoyed the Eng lang department hasnt replied my email i sent to query about their minor programme. I sent in on Friday afternoon. Oh wait, NUS has a 5-day week right? Hmm. No wonder. I shall wait till Monday.

Its lunch time but there is nothing to eat. Unless you consider instant noodles and some frozen food in the fridge. I've realised lately, that my mother doesnt cook anymore. I mean, 10 years ago, she would cook everyday, without fail. She would even lament that she didnt know which dish to cook but she cooked nonetheless, even if she had to rush off to work.

These days, however, she doesnt cook. Ive narrowed it down to 2 reasons.

1) Age. My mom still works and does the laundry. Perhaps she's too tired to cook.

2) She gave up cooking cos there was always left-overs. After all, since my siblings started working and I, myself, having a tiny income of my own, we eat out for lunch and sometimes dinner cos we either work or am at school late.

And yes, I'm guilty of eating out even when she cooks simply because i can. Years ago, we couldnt afford to eat out or buy food from outside. It was a once in a bluemoon luxury. I remember, when we were younger, my mom would feed us plain rice, mixed with margarine and soy sauce, in our humble flat in bedok north. Humble humble beginnings. And i would always envy the other kids who could get their little happy meal packages and eat at fast food outlets almost every week.

Now, we can. And so i guess, ive been catching up on my end.

Throughout secondary school (especially in sec sch) and jc, i hardly ate out. It was too darn expensive. Even eating at pizza hut was a WOW. Dont even mention places like pasta mania, fish N co, swensons, or the likes of that. I would have never have heard of nor ventured into those places as regularly as i do now. Splurging over $2 for any meal was pure stupidity. Maybe it still is.

Snack wise, my siblings and i were absolutely contented with the occassional 30 cents twisties, pac man, chickadees, 10 cents bee bee snack...we hardly had marks and spencer biscuits (as we occassionally do now) or ice cream at certain ice cream parlours. We were contented with Walls ice-cream...and if we had the luxury, we would by the 2 litres Nepolitan ice cream for $4.64 that would last us for a week. Eating a Cornetto(how do you spell it) was another WOW.

Then there's the fact that my pocket money all the way to JC was not as much(read=INSANELY A LOT) as most of my peers. Some people i know get the same amount of money in a week that i get in a MONTH. Amazing.And yet, some of my friends didnt even get pocket money. One of my best friends had to deal with less than $1 a day, and that was if she was lucky. I still remember her rumaging through the front pocket of her back for change. And that is why, even then, i found myself so blessed with what i already had.

In any case, it brings me to this point. I guess, after having tasted luxury, I realise how much i miss my mom's dishes. I mean, im sick of outside food. Now, when i hang out with my friends, i cant decide where to eat. Im just tired of everything.

It is only now, that i truly believe, that homecook food is the best...it reminds you of a whole lot of things...about who you are and where you came from.Though she would never ever cook nasi mentega kicap again,(literally rice, margarine and soy sauce), the korma, kuah soup and rendang now, still tastes as good as they did years and years ago. And eating at home, would be like eating humble pie, but ironically, i now treat eating at home a luxury.

And so, from now onwards, if my mom cooks, i would, as much as i can, come home to eat. And perhaps i should resume my cooking lessons with my nenek. Its been a long time since i learnt new dishes. :)

One week

I can do this. I can do this.....yes, i can.

Its just one whole week with absolutely no contact with him whatsoever....argh!!

Oh come on, farah, be a..er, well, i cant say man...so...be..not so pathetic lar. I mean its just 7 more days...it'll be good..you'll be able to settle down in school proper.

Its just ONE week..

My poor Najib...Out in the jungle, doing whatever, probably freezing at night.

One week will fly by real quickly im sure...with lessons and all...

Still, I miss him. Boo. :(

Ah yes, about school.

Lectures have started. I cant really say started full-swing though. Most of them are just introductory lectures about what to expect in the module, et cetera.

Had an panic attack on wed. My mind kept churning about all the things i gotta do....its hard to explain and i honestly would prefer to just mention about it and not elaborate. Too lazy to type. Haha. oh yea, i had a pop quiz during my first stats 2 lect. What an ego-bursting-joy-killer it was. Didnt help that people were already mugging in the central library and looking for books like they have term papers due the next day.

Met my new french lecturer yesterday. I think im gonna be enjoying french this semester. I guess the new textbook kinda seems a whole lot more interesting..and the lecturer does seem like an approachable guy.

Had a SWAPS meeting yesterday too. Kinda sombre, as the society's fate..ah you all know....But it was when Gene retorted to someone's query about what will happen to the societies (one for SW and the other for Psy) are not able to sustain itself....that, well, i felt so sad....he said something to the effect that "then they die....if a society is meant to survive, it will...if there's a need for one in future, eventually someone would rise upon the task to revive it.....people will only appreciate something when its gone".....

In any case, to all those psych/sw majors, and members, there will be an ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING ON FRIDAY, 19th AUGUST, LT14 at 6.30pm. Please, do turn up for the voting is ultimately important in deciding the fate of SWAPS.

Also, yesterday was a bleurgh day as "i was having doubts", to quote Prendy. I was and I reckon am still worried about whether Im choosing the right major, whether i should consider a minor in english/lit to increase my employability, IF i still can afford to take a minor to begin with, whether i have the mettle to do honours in psych as NUS psych honour prog is research/stats based.

And the realisation that if i dont make a decision soon, i might graduate, and find myself unemployed because of 3 very real reasons.

1) i am an arts graduate
2) i am female
3) i am of a minority race ( this saddens me so much....but it is true...one must be realistic..ive been at the receiving end of this. which is why, i am relishing every moment as a student...so sheltered.)

But, i know, there's hope. There are ways i can curb this.

1) Do my honours and do the best i can
2) Take a minor (God, i dunno if its not too late)
3) Upon completing French, pick up Mandarin officially and not from friends alone.
4) Build my resume..how? Im still working on it
5) Start searching for a job by the time i reach year 3 sem 1.

It seems like a tall order, honestly. Particularly the first point. I have no idea if plan no. 1 will be thwarted or not. I guess my list is the most idealistic i've come up with to date. But hey, you never know.

Someone told me never to look too far before you leap...or you might fall. I guess, its true what some of my friends told me...to take life a step at a time. And i will. But i always believe that you gotta at least know where youre heading towards.

There's a malay saying that goes something like "manusia boleh berancang..tapi Tuhan yang menentukan" or something like that.

"Man can only plan, but only God has the power to make it or not make it happen"

I love Singapore

Guess who came rolling in along Avenue 9 at 10pm this evening? The tanks, and all the other military vehicles from the Padang...and my gosh...the usually quiet streets where I live came bursting with life. The atmosphere was fantastic, as i looked out my window...and i felt like overwhelming feeling....pride...for my country....

Families gathered by the road, while their children jumped and screamed and squeeled in utter delight at the waving soldiers.....Vehicle after vehicle...the kids kept cheering...and the soldiers, obviously high with all the attention waved back...some even shouted in excitement.

So cool! I like this idea of bringing the celebrations to the heartland. Memorable.

Gosh, dont you just love this country? Safe, secure...i could go on and on..but i shant.

I love my country. Im proud to be a citizen, born and bred. That's all i need to say. The rest is understood.

Happy 40th Birthday singapore... my home.

Summer of '05

" Oh when I look back now
That summer seemed to last forever
And if I had the choice
Yeah I'd always wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life
Back in the summer of '69" - Bryan Adams

Hmm. I have no idea why, but that song immedietly played in my mind as i thought of a title entry to sum up how my 3 month vacation had been like. And I dont necessarily know if this "summer" vacation has been the best days of my life..but i know it would be one of the best. :)

I mean, whoa. So much has happened within this period...

I went to Egypt!! -I still cant believe I actually did! That experience will forever be in my heart. My first voyage overseas and on a plane. Experiencing a whole different culture. One rich and so powerful. Majestic.

FOC- Something the whole swaps com was involved in. Wrapping up the publicity and all..wasnt the most enjoyable haha since i injured my back..but im glad it was a success for the rest.

Injuries and maladies- Fell sick.Again and again. Injured self. Ahh, realised that i am truly human.

Tioman- Had a beach getaway. Nicely burnt. Learnt to thread water :) so i can decently say that i can swim. Had a perilous journey on the boat back to Mersing..realised how small and insignificant i can be when thrust at the mercy of the wide sea. And how faith in Allah can keep me calm and safe.

Family- Went travelling with my bro and mom and later with my dad and sis....i am one lucky girl! Watched my siblings graduate...and got so inspired by them to start studying. I love my family. :)

Friends- Went out with friends, past and present. Shopping, hanging out by the pool...movies...lunches, dinners...even MSN! Thanks guys..My hols wouldnt be the same without you..

Love- And of course, a certain someone. One of the reasons why i wont forget this hols. Its been only 2 months as of today...but i pray, there'll be many more to come.

And so, as today marks the onset of a new semester, i guess this entry would serve as a reminder to myself....that in my darkest moment (most likely mid-sem cos thats where all the deadlines are), there will always be a place i can return to. Though only memories, it would serve as an affirmation that things can be nice and happy....all i need is to take a pause....and return to the Summer of 2005.

Snippets of my day

Im all showered and feeling so comfortable now :) Nice night breeze blowing through my window...ahh..

Just came back from SWAPS' Dinner and Dance 2005. Am kinda tired and my butt is seriouly aching from sitting down at the table for too long. Im not joking. It really really hurts...OUCH. Its like ive sat on a bike for too long or smt. Damn seats.

Food was yummy. I had tandoori chicken among others. Was definitely better than the food during my JC prom at the Ritz. And this coming from a rather obsure hotel somewhere in little india! haha. Had my bro pick me up after the entire affair.

Sat with justina, yunxian and julaina and two other guys who with liangcai and yao tong were in and out doing their thing. Hmm.

Yup. Took photos here. Took photos there. Realised that some people really look good with make up on. Im NOT one of them. I mean some girls, like Lin Yen (who i must add, looked stunning tonight) are normally the plain jane sorta girls..but when they dress up, Whoa.
I, on the other hand, look terrible. I mean look at my makeover pics earlier this year. Yuck. So its not a matter of skill in applying make up at all. Its just me. I am better off without it.

Oh yea, i CUT MY HAIR!! Its like the length of my hair when..umm..when i was 16 i think. Or was it JC2? yup. Just above shoulder. Ah well. I guess i'll grow to like it. It will grow eventually anyway! At least my head feels lighter :)

Ouch..just shifted in my seat and boy, does my butt hurt. How am i gonna survive lectures?

Modules and stuff

Good morning.....Im up early today...strange dream...

Was supposed to be watching some movie but ended up doing some maths questions with the popcorn seller outside.

Anyway, it's all settled. Ive got 5 modules for this semester...

1) French 3 on Mons and Thurs from 10-12pm
2) Film and History on Mons from 4-8pm
3) Abnormal Psychology on Tuesdays from 10-12pm
4) Statistics 2 on wed 8-10am
5) Singapore Society on Wed 2-4pm

~AND FRIDAYS OFF~ (but lets wait till tutorial balloting's over before i celebrate)

Discovered yesterday that all this while, i've not been connected to my home network. Hahahahhahahahahaha...thats why my connection had been rather bad and i kept getting d/c. Hahhahaahahha.

Najib's gone MIA. probably rolling around in the mud and digging trenches or whatever. Oh well..he'll be out on national days' eve......when my lessons resume. hahha.
*corrections:he just msged me so technically, he's not MIA anymore.*

Going to have lunch with Ade later. Havent seen her since New Years' Day. Hmm. Wonder if 02a53 could work out a class outing before she leaves.

Thump thump thump

Wah...headache. Literally and figuratively.

What a super long day...and the bidding has not ended yet. Bidding as i type this. Stupid cors system.

Had to decide whether it was wise enough to cling on to women's health module..and realised that it isnt worth it. I mean, min bid is a whopping 1001!! That is simply INSANE.
I might end up with only four modules...Instead, im gonna go ahead with SS and another gem, this time its Film and History. I have a feeling its hard and time consuming but...i think i can manage..i will make myself manage! Its a 4 hour lecture (with movie time included), no final exams, no tutorials...just 5 essays and 1 2000 words essay and class participation.

So just when i was about to make the last minute switcheroo, the cors system was impenetrable. Simply could not login. And the dateline was 3pm.Was drafting a complaint letter when realised they extended the deadline to 5pm instead cos i guess everyone couldnt get in and so complained.

Still, and i quote Melinda, " on grounds of irreparable, truamatic personal damage and unneccessary stress due to technical negligence or oversight" , perhaps i oughta go ahead and complain anyway.

Man, the system is extremely slow.

Anxiety and all.

Im feeling the heat already. School's starting in less than a week's time and the stress of it is just getting to me.

The bidding especially, has never been so stressful before. Im bidding for two really hot modules under the same account. I could be in trouble. So God, please help me. Please...

Cant believe my 3 months vacation is coming to an end. I need to reset my internal clock. Ive been to used to sleeping late and waking up late and not leaving my house till after noon. Now, ive got to force myself to wake up early....

I know once school starts, especially in the first few weeks, my body would have to go through a major overhaul. I will be exhausted and yawny by 7pm. That is NOT good. I think im gonna start taking my Gingko tablets. ha Ha ha.

The thing is, if i dont get enough sleep and if i dont feel recharged, i'll fall asleep each time i attempt to read my notes. I mean, like last sem. The minute i flip open a book to read, my eyelids suddenly feel heavy.

Conclusion: It all boils down to sleep! I need a newer sleep cycle. And a new study method too. I used to think that im a night owl....it worked in sec sch and JC but its hasnt for uni. Why? Because my school is on the other side of singapore, thats why. And e travelling part just drains your energy. I mean the monotonous train journey. Gargh. I need more stamina.

To think one month ago i was all psyched up for school. The reality of it is bringing me down man. Im feeling the blues!

Help me. Help me un-swish my brain..from the goo that it has become to well, eugene's brain. Ive always said i wanted his brain.

Bleaurgh.

SomethingS new

Yesterday was a first for me. Many firsts actually!

First time double 'dating'. Went out with Yunxian, Raymond and Najib. I thought maybe it would be safer to hang out with more than one person so that if my dad asks where im going i can in all honesty say "with friend-S".

We watched The Island. Not bad lah. First time watching a movie with Yunxian. First time watching a movie at Bugis.

Then for the first time, we all went to the new National Library. Huge.

Quite funny yesterday...me and yx were nervous whether our bfs could get along. They hit it off, thankfully. And i found out that Raymond is such a humorous guy. Funny! And talkative! Yx and Raymond look nice together. :)
And somehow, me and yx kept saying the exact same phrase at the same times! So bizarre!

All in all, it was a nice outing. Wouldnt mind doing it again! :)

Earworm

Did you know that earworm is the word to describe the i-have-a-song-stuck-in-my-head condition.

Yeah, and can you believe i have a malay song stuck in my head now? I was channel surfing yesterday and I chanced upon Suria and they were like playing songs in btw programmes or smt...so here it is. Begone earworm! Whoosh.

"Kaulah segalanya,
yang menyinar hidupku kasih,
Hanya satunya yang ku cintai
Sambutlah cintaku
Jangan kau pergi dari sisiku
Cintaku padamu, ikhlas sejati"

Im still trying to translate that. Bleaugh. Its a mushy song for sure. But it sounds nice.

HUGE discovery

Alright. Maybe not so huge...but,

GASP!!!!!!!! IVE GROWN FATTER !!!

Im gonna start crying.(as if..trying to be dramatic, so excuse me)
I was clearing my wardrobe this time round...when i chanced upon my VJ skirt. I decided to try it...you know, just to see if i could fit...and to MY HORROR, it was TIGHT! Worse, this is the pair of skirt that i hardly used in jc because it was to LOOSE then.

IM FAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do i see the D word approaching? Diet.
And how bout the E word? Exercise.
And the R word? Resist indulgences.



or maybe, just maybe, when i was in jc, i never wore my skirt at waist level but at hip level? Boo. Im not consoled.

Hmm...interesting.

Is he pretending that nothing happened? Cos he's sure acting like that! Smiled at me this morning and even helped me clear my room as I fixed my DIY bookshelf i bought. (I like DIY stuff! I felt like a carpenter. Hehhe...D&T lessons sure did help man.)

Im not complaining. Ive got a few possible reasons why he hasnt asked me;
a) He thinks the sms was meant for HIM. Hmm.
b) He quitely accepts the fact
c) He's testing me and my honesty
d) He didnt read the sms
e) He read the sms and thought it was a joke or smt
f) He lost his hp. RIGHT. I heard it ring this morning.

Either way, i shall listen to what my mom, najib and yunxian (and her mom) said. I shall pretend nothing happened and if he asks me, i'll tell him its a joke. OR i could tell him the truth. I mean eventually i would, wouldnt i? Its just too soon.

Ah well. I'll think of that later. I have bigger issues at hand. Im in the midst of clearing my room now that ive gotten my shelves. Im tired. And everything's like spewing on the floor. My sis will not be a happy person when she gets back. Doesnt help that she's sleep deprived cos of her night shift.

Bleaugh. Im HUNGRY. Shall eat first.

Complete Blunder.

I am so mega screwed. Couldnt sleep last night. Two reasons for that really.

First is the fact that im still partially DEAF in my right ear and im getting very irritated. Ive tried everything: from pinching my nose and blowing (hoping air would shoot out) and blowing my nose hard to jumping up and down. Im beginning to think i have mucus in my ear cos there was too much in my nose so it spread. GARGHHHHHHHH. I hate sticky green icky mucus. get OUT of me!

The next reason. You would not belive it. I sent an sms meant for my boyfriend to MY DAD. HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO GOONDU? And i didnt notice it till two hours later when i checked my 'sent' messages folder. Told Najib bout it and he was like "act cool"...told my mom and she was like "you didnt send anything mushy right?" RIGHT. I am so screwed. Mom told me to pretend its a joke to a friend or smt. And she laughed. I could have banged my head into a wall....i was so nervous. Luckily, my dad didnt come home till late last night. He's sleeping now.

Wonder what the aftermath would be like. Pray for me, dear friends.

God, help me.

Blocked

Woke up this morning to discover that my right ear is blocked! Im partially deaf! Gargh. You know that feeling when water gets in your ear after swimming? Yes, irritating isnt it. I want my ear back!

Am msn-ing with justina and yx now....kenneth too. Ken's still in switzerland and he's bought me chocolates! Yay! Justina and Yx discussing whether we have time to hang out for a while cos ive got tuition at 4pm. What a time. Tuition smacked in the day till 8pm. -_-

Got my abnormal psych module so im left with my gem and SS. I hope my points are enough cos i didnt come up with a back up plan...so i might be left with 4 modules. Crap. So i pray i get both modules!!!!!

Was just browsing thru the announcement on IVLE and i chanced upon this wakeboarding intro class.....oooh..i want...but i dont wanna go alone. Yunxian seems keen....any more takers? Its 60 or 65 bucks and will be held next wed and thur (3rd and 4th Aug)...Come on, it'll be fun!

anyone else interested?

Kissed by the sun

Im burnt.

At first, i thought the red glowy-ness of my skin's kinda cool..and the fact that somehow, the combination of sun and saltwater tightens your skin into a naturally botoxed state was splendid....then the reverse happened...

Red has turned to black..and my tight skin has given way to flaky skin...Gargh.

Tioman was fantastic nonetheless. A nice, quick getaway sums it up. Went snorkelling and stuff. So nice!! The waters are pristine and definitely inviting. If only the waters in singapore arent so polluted. Maybe then i'd venture to swim at the beaches here. In any case, its good that the beaches in Malaysia are nice enough. It took me only 4-6 hours to get to Tioman. Nice.

The journey home was scary tho. It was raining and so the little speedboat we were on had to brave the choppy waves. Each time we collided with an incoming wave, it felt like we were hitting concrete. I've never been so afraid....we were at the mercy of the vast sea. But faith...a whole lot of it calmed me..and i know we'd be okay. If youve ever watched the movie A Perfect Storm or the likes of that, then im sure you'll know what i mean by choppy. And scary.

After surviving that 1 hour ride, we landed safely in Mersing only to almost fall prey into the hands of this cheat-of-a-driver. He wanted to charge us his "special" price of RM$240 to singapore. What rubbish. We paid only RM$110 to get to Mersing. I guess he saw my dad's golf clubs and expected us to be willing to pay. He kept tailing us even though my dad said No. Eventually, he brought it down to RM$120. So we agreed. Then, even before we left, he pretended that he needed some money for gas and that he was out of it. He kept turning the ignition switch when my dad told us that he saw the tank was full....so the guy dropped us off at the gas station and went off! (he could still drive off when he claims his tank was empty?!!) Then, another car from behind, which my dad thinks had been tailing us, offered to send us back. So dubious. Luckily, a bus to Johor was parked at the station.We hopped on the bus and were off. From there, we took the singapore-JB express and my gosh, i felt so safe to reach the singapore immigration. So safe.

Bidding has commenced! I hope i get the mods i want. So far, i only need to bid for abnormal psych in this round.

Going to run some errands with my sister in a while...and i have YET to clear my room and revise my french...

PROCRASTINATION is EVIL.

Off to Tioman!!

Alright guys, Im off! I hope sunny weather will greet us when we get to the lovely island!

I'll be leaving in a few hours...gonna take a drive up to Mersing or smt and then take a ferry from there because Tanah Ferry terminal STOPPED direct ferrys/ferries from here! -_-.

Anyway, I will be back latest by this Monday.

Yup! Seeya!!!!!

Rain rain go AWAY.

I dont like rainy days. I wanna see the clear blue skies again. I wanna see sunshine again! I wanna get better! *sniffs*

On a lighter note, I GOT STATS 2 PREALLOCATED!!!! Wohoooooo! Yes! Im one step closer to getting all the modules i want. All i need is to bid for abnormal, ss and Gem. So if SS is really from the general account, then i can dedicate all my programme account to abnormal psych! Yay. :)

Aww...just got an sms from him...he wanted to call me but they have to assemble. And he put that sad face thingy :( So sweet of him.
But funny thing is, i always thought they would be busy busy busy running around, rolling in mud and digging trenches. Apparently, they have a lot of free time. He even admits that training hasnt been as intensive as he expected. Hmm.

Feel kinda bad for not helping daphne with the BBQ. It turns out that i might not be able to come down for the BBQ on thurs..i wont be celebrating gene's bdae in that case.....cos im leaving on thurs instead. And tmr is the exco chalet but i cant come cos ive got tuition...

Am i turning into an unsociable person? I mean, i havent really been going for any Swaps activity, have i?

So am i? Hmm.

Sniffles

Why do i always fall sick just before a trip?

But my grandma is right. If im sick, i shouldnt mop around the house and act all sick. I should go out...and do stuff! Take my mind off the fact that my body is weak and my nose is runny and my eyes watery.

So im going to go shopping later! Whee~

I just hope i dont collapse.

Oh yes, never watch alien vs predator, minority report and the stepford wives all on the same day. You wouldnt be able to have a peaceful dream. What a nightmare!

And its funny that the video rental near my place categorised Stepford wives as comedy. IT should be put under horror, in my opinion.

Alright, my neck and shoulders are achy cos im lying down and propping myself up to type this. Yup.

And i miss him. Boo. :( Wont be seeing him till the end of the month cos even when his confinement ends this weekend, i'll be away at tioman. Ah well.

inertia again..whats new?

I am bored. But i am one heckuva lazy person. I cant seem to get myself to do anything productive!

I mean, i woke up early this morn (7am) and went back to sleep cos i had nothing to do after reading the papers. Woke up again at 12 noon and decided to clean up the house, including my room. So yes, i swept almost the whole house, tidied the hall and i must say, it does look significantly neater...but when i got to my room, i looked around and groaned. No way. Not today. So i just tidied up my table a little and get this cleared my wallet. I felt contented throwing all the receipts.

Ive finished reading the books i borrowed from the library yesterday. Was supposed to go out with Yunxian but it rained so we called it off.
I know i have things to do. I just remembered that i have TWO portfolios to write for SWAPS. I just cant get myself started...and i know im supposed to start revising my french. Kenneth informed me earlier that the immersion peeps have improved tremendously so im like in deep trouble.

But i cant seem to get started. Hmm..but i gotta get started soon. Time is running out. School is starting real soon and i wanna make sure ive settled everything by then.

Oh yeah! Im going tioman somewhere next week when my sis gets her leave! Woohooo! :)

Listening to the radio now...The Darkness' "I believe in a thing called love" never fails to make me laugh..especially when i think of their MTV. Hahahahahhahahahahahhaha....

Un fit.

What does a girl who hasnt run for ages and who cant really run to begin with is asked to run with her friend? And the tiny lil fact that her friend CAN really run? That he completed a 10Km marathon and came in 18th (and that was when he just recovered) and he considers 3km a sprint when the girl considers it a marathon?

Gargh. [buries face in pillow]

Ive told him countless times that i cannot run for nuts. Why do people who can run always assume everyone can run like them? I cant. Ask my JC classmates. I mean ask anyone.
And the tiny fact that im pretty verbally abusive when im tired. I mean, imagine running beside someone who's all smiley and "come on, you can..." and all you feel is slapping the person with a frying pan. Or your hands. If you had the strength, that is.

I feel like a slob....BUT
I feel so motivated by him to run though.

But i will not run with him. Yet. Thank goodness he's stuck at camp. Hahhahahahha...i highly doubt he'd wanna run on his off days. Then again.

ok ok ok ok ok. Im gonna run....soon....its for my health. And my mental well being. I feel like a slob. I need to run off that feeling. I wanna feel the adrenaline. I wanna feel a little bit more alive.

I hope i can get pass 1 km. Dear God, i hope i can.

Good evening

[Yawn] Just woke up. Nyak. Nyak. Nyak.

Oh man, i was so psyched up for school till i realised last Thurs and was reminded again today (my bro's commencement ceremony) about how painful it would be to wake up early every morning and take that ardously long journey to school. (to think on normal days, i'd have to take public transpot) I hope i get the time table i want. Please let me get the time table i took so long to draft. Please.

Anyway, i wont be able to go on Msn much till i figure out whats wrong with the wireless connection to my lap top. For any computer whizzes out there, what on earth are "packets"? How come my lap top can send but cannot receive? And when i do get online, i'd get d/c in no time cos of the packets thingy. It was perfectly fine before!!

Im thinking of chucking my table and buying a bookshelf. I dont even use the table. And i need e space for books. Ive only taken two semesters and i dont have space already. IKEA, anyone?

Amusing. If only i could count the number of people asking me the same question. Yes. I am with someone. And haha, you know that "Your profile has been viewed xx times since mm/dd/yy" on friendster? Amazing how the number shot up when i put a pic of us online.

Speaking of him, he will be out for his grad tmr!

Anyway, had a SWAPS exco meeting yesterday. Wasnt in a meeting mode yest so i kinda blah things. Until i had food that is. Before that, i felt that i was outside looking in on the rest. Wow. Ive never seen such a dedicated and extremely passionate bunch of people. My hats off to all of you. Shame on me for sitting amongst you while in all honesty, i was kinda bo chap then. Then again, that was before i had food in my system. Im pretty sure, deep down, i do care. I mean, heck, come to think of it, i do! I mean SWAPS welcomed me and coloured my first year as an undergrad. I instantly made friends and learnt a lot over the two semesters. Learnt my limitations. My strenghts. Whatever happens to the society, i will always cherish the times i had with the 18th exco.

As to whether the society will split, we all know it is the inevitable. The arguments made for and against the motion were kinda balanced and yet circular at the same time. I do hope that whatever decision we make, it will be a decision that we can look back on and be satisfied with.

Jolted

I was rudely awoken this morning by a very very loud and extremely frightening drone from outside my window and which seemed to have lasted forever.

The time was 3.30am.....AM. IN THE MORNING when it happened. At first it was a faint drone...then it got progressively and deafeningly loud. My eyes opened instantaneously. Thoughts dashed in and out of my head. Could this be it? Armageddon? End of the world? (its was 3 bloody AM i must emphasise). I looked out the window and to my horror, i saw........

TANKS. SAF TANKS.And those bridge builders thingy. Streaming happily along Avenue 9.

War? Whats happening??!! Then, tugging very hard at the back of my head, came a more realistic probability....NDP. And that got me so angry.

What is their problem? Tearing down civilian streets like that in the wee hours of the morning? Scaring people out of their sleeps, making sleep deprived people jump to radical conclusions? I hope nobody suffered from outbreaks of hysteria!!

So much for stealth army boys. Sheesh!

And i was really really frightened. Especially cos i was alone in the room. Sis was at work. Man, was i scared. I covered my ears but the droning went on for the next goodness knows how many more minutes before slowly ebbing away in the distance.

So much for my hope of having an uninterupted sleep.

potluck?

So like why are potlucks called potlucks?

Anyway, the potluck went pretty fine....friends actually prepared food! Like rice and chicken and fish...all i brought was snacks...it was nice hanging with my sec school peeps...reminiscing bout the past..and all the zany memories...havent seen manju in ages and my gosh, she's still the same! Havent seen yali since i left dunman either! Then of course there was Tini, shikin and aisyah...farhana has mumps and widya couldnt make it.

Nice time at pasir ris park.....

And then i got a call from him. :) :) :)
He says he's fine, his bunk mates are on, the mats there are funny and that his company/bunk/whatever overlooks the sea. And the best part, he"ll be out this tues night cos he has to attend his graduation ceremony, which means that there might be a possibility that we can go out for a while. What a bonus!

so anyway, why are potlucks so called?

Many a things hath happened...

Thursday was my sis's commencement. Was and still am so proud of her... :) We were granted access to the VIP area cos my sister was chosen as one of those to meet President SR Nathan...So we got to mingle with him (he asked my father which part of Pakistan we were originally from...Hahahah) and took pics with him and Dr Tony Tan. The president was a chatty guy really!

Also, remember that wannabe reality tv date show "eye for a guy" or whatever? Well, that wolfgang guy was there...his bro was graduating too..pretty good looking chap.

Anyhow, my sis came out in the malay papers yesterday...to inspire the malay/muslim community i suppose. hmm.

And, Najib enlisted. Gargh...its only for 3 weeks before he can come out but i cant help feeling kinda heavy hearted....worse, i fell asleep when he tried to call. [kick self] ah well. I"ll be seeing him soon... :)

Went out with cheryl too...she dragged me out so i wont wallow at home alone..thank you my "favourite friend"! hehehhehehehehhehehe

And later ive got tuition (after a month hiatus, i almost forgot i have a job!) and meeting up my sec school friends for a potluck at pasir ris park....

Then next week.....i dunno whats happening next week...im thinking of getting my life in order before school...ive kinda gotten a rough time table out...and oh yes, farah, PLEASE REMEMBER TO SELECT A SLOT FOR FRENCH LECTS BY NEXT WED.

That oughta remind me!

have a nice weekend y'all!

resistant to change

Why? Why must NUS bloody change the system? Its so troublesome trying to piece a perfect time table for next sem. First, i have to memorise the module codes. Then, i gotta check if the exams clash on a different page....then i gotta go to other faculty websites to get the codes of the other mods i want....GARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Forget it. I shall plan later.

Its the holidays. Its still the holidays.

I feel like blogging

Yesterday was my daddy's birthday. Yep, 4th of July. It was a nice little family party. Just the six of us, nice and cosy.....I gave him some inspirational poster (cos he's been looking worried these days...dunno why) and some MPH vouchers cos he loves books and i just couldnt find the right one for him..so yeah...and i gave him a big hug. :). The others are gonna get him a home theatre system...right...that led to discussions on how our hall should be redecorated and bla bla bla....all 6 of us just sat there and started discussing...it was nice...it was no longer just the parents making the decisions...all of us have a say now...anyway,

I love my dad so much.

The day before was my cousin Linda's and my friend Shaun's birthday...even though you guys arent near me, doesnt mean id forget you know!!

And so, today. Well, nothing happening. Might be going out with him

Tomorrow:Might be going out with him again

Thurs:My sister's commencement and my parents 28th wedding anniversary.

Fri: My baby's off. SIGH. :(
Going out with cheryl to take my mind off it.

And from then on, i would very much like to go out with you....yes, you reading this right now...cos i"ll probably be miserable and bored at home....or maybe i might just plunge into getting ready for the next sem.....i STILL havent cleared my room!!!!

Right....oh yeah, i feel kinda out of Re-fresh.....its like i was looking thru the pics (just briefly) and i realised that im not like in e photos...i wasnt there much....even though i worked on the publicity for the camp...i still feel so detached. Like i wasnt in the main com at all. In fact, even while i was there, i felt pretty alienated. It seems the progs ppl seem to be the ones who were useful and stuff...Dreaded the pre-camp especially. Ah well. At least the others had fun and the camp was relatively a success so in that sense, i feel happy that my job was done.

I feel down. Perk me up. Please.

Bleaurgh. Happy thoughts happy thoughts!!! Ok, feel better now.

pour moi??

A call from France!! For me?

Yeah! My gosh, i thought kenneth was joking when he said he's calling from France....he did mention where but i kinda forgot! Heh. Apparently, he was waiting for his train to Paris where he's heaing to Marseiile after so he had time to kill hence he decided to call me cos he misses me!! So sweeeeeeeeeeeeet! Nobody's ever called me from a different continent and spoken to me for more than 10 mins! Ok, other than my Aunt but still! Whoa!!! :)

Another reason why i believe that i have wonderful friends in this world!!

Anyway, he told me that he met up with some of the students from NUS who went for the immersion..and he said that they've gotten significantly better...they even went on to study the grammar we'll learn next sem. GREAT. Just great. I know nuts. I gotta start refreshing my brain...and SOON.

Ah well, till then, let me slob...and heal my back....speaking of which, i can walk! Though i hardly think i can survive walking/sitting for long durations....HEAL BACK...HEAL!!!!

Feel so loved..

Thanks guys. Thank you so much for all the concern. Smses that have been pouring in asking me how i am. Not to mention the tags too. Thank you.....Im okay..I"ll live!

And, Im GETTING BETTER!!!!!!!!

I pretty sure i"ll be okay in another 2 to 3 days time. Medicated plaster im using is really helpful. Like millions of tiny ppl massaging me all the time..ahh..

Well, the docs said (haha, my sis and bro lah...i mean i"ll never have to see a doctor again in my life! so cool. and convenient. and FREE consultation.hehehe.) its either a muscle sprain or slip disc which is now ruled out. So yea, its a muscle sprain. My personal physiotherapist (farhana, even tho she's still a student) said that my back muscles are weak and are in shock. Massaging might aggravate it especially if the person doing know nuts so i better not massage it. She also said medicated plasters may provide temporary pain relief. So like what my docs said, I just need to rest it out. Might take days or even weeks to completely recover.

And yes cheryl, i might have to learn yoga and pilates soon. Farhana recommended it to me. Said at my age, i still have time to strengthen it....otherwise, when im older, i might end up with chronic back pain. So any idea where i can sign up? or can you be my personal yogi? :)

Immobile

I cant move. Much. I cant sit up, i cant walk fast, i cant sway my hips(why would i in the first place..but STILL), i am pretty much movement-challenged.

Ah yes, the back ache. Back sprain. Whatever. It just hurts like hell. It was hurting real bad on Tuesday night. Couldnt even walk. This shooting pain at the end of my spine each time i took a tiny step. Ended up walking like a penguin. Like grandma(oh how i empathise with you nenek, i really do).

Was convinced by everyone to go home. So i gave in. The campers were getting worried about me and my senior June said its no use if i stayed...so i went home...brother fetched me. I was kinda crushed...i was only getting to know my freshies better!!! I wanted to go Sentosa for the amazing race....but i had to listen to my body (among others)

Its been days and it still hurts. At least i can walk a little bit more......i remembered i cried in the loo cos i couldnt undress. It was so painful. So painful.

Was so touched today. My OG called me up and put me on speaker phone....and they told me the news...THEY WON!! Power smurfs (they came up with the name. Dont ask.) won first place! I thought they were pretty bleah but they did it in the end!!!!! I guess it was a good thing i left....then they couldnt keep depending on me....and the other perm facis daphne and kai jun and cheryl nott and parvin.

Anyway, cheryl nott told me that they dedicated a song to me during the finale night. Wow. Touched. In fact, when i was on speaker phone, they sang to me!!!!! So nice! There i was, lying down in bed, listening to them. I was so moved!!! And they all went "we love/miss you farah"...gosh.....[beams happily] Thank you elda, diana, kelvyn, hafiza, qi jun, kitty, michelle, elaine!

So what now? no idea. on my bed as i type this. Thank goodness i have wireless!

Off to camp...

Please let me be ra-ra before the camp starts full swing. Im like so out of sync with camps and cheers and ya ya stuff like that......im kinda dreading the late nights, sleep deprivation and hoarse throat that would leave my voice all husky and artificially sexy. Haha.

Not to mention the packing. I hate packing! I just packed and unpacked and now pack again only to unpack later? Plus i have to pay 30 bucks for that?

Oh well. This is just the inertia talking. Im sure i"ll have a blast once i get the Rah back into the Fa. Yeah.

Gargh. Just got word that im a perm faci(permanent facilitator). PERM???? there goes my efforts to skive. Sigh. Okay..i can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

Just breathe and put on a big smile.

And bring strepsils. Lots of em.

Gimme a blah...BLAH! Gimme a Blah Blah....BLAH BLAH! Gimme a blah blah blah.....BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!

Will be back on thurs!

Im off!

MSN version 7.0

Okay, i just and finally downloaded the newer version. I couldnt be bothered to previously cos i thought that with my home internet connection, it'd take ages but heh, it took me less than 3 mins. So yea! I love that nudge thing!!!!! So cool. And irritating...which is why i like it!!!!

Speaking of nudge, i miss him. Is it wrong to say it out loud to the world? What am i afraid of? That others would roll their eyes like i once did to them? Perhaps. Yes, I MISS HIM. I miss my Nudgieeeeeeeeeeee.There. Felt better? Nope. He's still not here is he?

Boo.

Okay, now im rolling my own eyes at myself. For goodness sake, you have a life farah! Sheesh. OK ok ok...

Kinda glad he isnt here actually. Have a lot of Swaps things to do so if he's around, i"ll find excuses to hang out with him instead of doing my work....things like calling up a whole lot of ppl and putting on this ultra saccharine voice asking if they're still interested in the camp next week. Shudders. I did that. And i did that only cos i had nothing else to do.

Wait a sec, i actually have a lot of things to do before oh-my-god-school's-opening again...

1) Revise my french cos its basically non-existent in my left hemisphere of the brain. Gosh, is that where language is at? I dont even know. My brain's all rusty. I never did enjoy cognitive psych to begin with. How i manage to scrape thru it is a miracle.
2) RUN. cos i havent ran since that one day wonder of 3.6km.
3) Read. Like finish the LOTR book.
4) er.....clean up the aftermath of the exams...ie: my room is still in a mess, particularly with that pile of papers on the shelf with all my tutorials and lect notes....do i keep em or burn em?
5) Buy more clothes before term starts?
6) Focus. Prepare myself to be a full time mugger. Like really. Really really. Like nothing else matters. Except my books. My modules. Okay, ok, besides my other life-ly commitments like family and blah blah.....and now that my CCA might be how-do-i-put-it-nicely....going kaput, i will be CCA-less. Hahahha....wheee. Then my only other commitment is my ECA. Thats only on weekends once he enlists. SO yea, i have no excuse not to perform better this coming semester. In fact, look at me now! Im all psyched up for school!

Right. Now i gotta pick my modules really wisely. And do you think a 3-day work week is recommendable? Ive always had mondays off. I was thinking of getting Fridays off as well. That would be so cool. But then again, imagine common tests.....yikes. Back to back? No way. Lesson i learnt from last semester, i do not have long attention spans. My attention span could possibly equal primary school kids.

Speaking of which, ahhhh, yes, tuition. My source of income. Now, that would be on Saturdays. But i reckon my ECA i/c would understand. I do want my own cash flow. Gosh, i hope they keep employing me forever. Tution is the most lucrative career any undergrad could have. Now how many times have i said that?

Meeting up with Pema later for a catch-up. Havent met her in ages!

Au revoir~ (the only decent french thing i can say now. Ashamed, I am)

I'm back!!

Okay, ive been back for quite some time now but ive been very hesitant to blog.....to get back to reality.... you know the feeling that you just dont wanna snap out of it? but i guess its time...

I had a wonderful time in Egypt. So memorable. Took a whole lot of pics! Thank goodness for my 1GB SD card which i borrowed from my brother. Took over 500 pics. Man, everything abt Egypt is nice.

Took my first airplane flight of my life. First time in the parts of changi airport only accessible to those flying/arriving.....whoa. I like flying.

Anyhow, i really honestly wanna start typing about my wonderful experiences in Egypt but man, once i start, i honestly dont know if i"ll be able to stop.

Egypt is nice. Lovely, Beautiful ppl...especially in Cairo and Alexandria. And believe me, this Muslim country is liberal. Really. The ppl there really know how to dress up. And they're so gorgeous. Man, i was at Cairo Mall on the last night before flying home and i was like "WHY???? Why cant singapore have oh so yummy looking ppl like these?"

Okay, back to reality. groans.

But really, egypt is nice. Its only hot and dry in the South but once you head north, its actually cooler than Singapore!

And yes, i went into the second pyramid. And yes, i saw the mummies. And yeah, i rode a camel! In fact, i tried almost every form of transportation while i was there. Rode a horse carriage, a bus, a taxi, was a pedestrian (very scary experience. traffic is a killer but strangely, the drivers are very polite to pedestrains!), a motorboat, a felucca, a camel, a cruise ship along the river nile, a train frm aswan to cairo and finally, FINALLY, an airplane!

And yeah, heh, we could pass off as locals. Until me and my mom opened our mouths to speak. My bro could speak Arabic so they thought he was egyptian. Which was why our experience in Cairo mall was great..cos we blended in and were not treated like tourists.

Anyway, blogging from Yunxian's house. Yx is flirting over the telephone in a bid to get guys down for our swaps camp. Gross. She can really really flirt. Yes, you can.

Bon voyage!!!

Egypt, here i come!

This will be my last post till I get back home. I reckon I wont blog from over there! Gonna resort to the plain old simple way. A travel diary. :)

Ooh, yes, I will be back on the 18th I think. Im still kinda not sure. 18th or 19th. Either way, I'll be back!!!!!

Alright everyone!!!

Im outta here!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~

My bags ARENT packed......

I am a horrible packer.
I cannot pack for nuts.
I am getting stressed because I have never EVER been away from home for so long, let alone on another continent!

Blimey, my first airplane trip!

I wanna bring my whole room!!!

Haiya, im just looking at the mess i made....luggage thrown open, filled to the brim..i think im bringing too many t-shirts! but i cant help it!! And dont get me started on the undergarments. i have ceremoniously left them out...for now. It will just make me feel worse....

Gargh.

Its just packing......its just packing......breathe farah breathe (would love to but too bad my sinuses are clogged up with mucus...*sniffs*).......okay...i can do this...

Still got a couple of errands to run before i leave fri morning at ard 5 plus AM. (gosh.)

1)Collect new pair of contacts (eyesight's deteriorating at an astounding pace)
2) Get a SD card for my digital camera
3) Consider activating my roaming (i mean, how am i to contact someone for help if i get kidnapped and shipped off to Sudan?)
4)Change some of my Sing dollars to US dollars because most money changers here do not carry the Egyptian pound and most money changers over there do not recognise our Sing dollars. So mah fun. (how do ya spell it?)
5) Pack my bags....yes, pack em up!

Okay, busy busy busy.....

[i hope sanitation there's good]

Mushhhhh

Ok ok ok ok ok.

I, Farah, can be a mushy person. when i want to, that is.
In fact it grosses me (and some of my friends) out to think i can but on the other hand, im relieved to know that i can. so im normal. whatever normal is.

BUT i still roll my eyes at all the excessively lovey-dovey ppl (on escalators,elevators,buses, and all the incredibly unromantic places where they -can you believe it- twine...heh, but its good that they do that on crowded Mrts. Save space. Sheesh. GET A ROOM PEOPLE!) and make snide comments.

Back to me. Mushy. Ive become an emotional mushball lately. Okay. Thats all i can bring myself to type.
Like what someone said...im contradictory. I am an emotional person yet i cant stand people showing their emotions....to which i retorted (i think) "it should be private, mah"

Then again, could it be that im just hypocritical?

Anyways, I just drew up my list of things to pack for Egypt. I have no idea how im gonna squeeze things in my luggage. My main worry however, is to find that i have not packed enough undergarments. Man. Can you imagine recycling? Gross. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeks.

Sore throat...boo.

Gargh. I dont wanna be sick. I cannot afford to!! Im gonna be flying off in a week!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im gonna binge myself on strepsils. (someone, please remind me about the laxative effects of an overdose of sweets...yes, it happened to me before)

So the results were yesterday...one word: ALHAMDULILLAH!!!!!!

God really loves me :) Yay.
Im so so grateful. And happy. And satisfied.
Considering everything I went through over the last semester, I am contented. I think I did my best and yeah...im just happy. Its okay that I did worse off than last sem but hey, there's always another few sems to catch up. Must work harder from now on...

And to my dear friends out there. I hope you guys are happy with your results. And if its okay with you, i'd rather not discuss with you my grades or anything....Please respect my wishes okie? I just wanna be happy.
Thank you so much!!!!

Whee~

First

On mon, i had the best run in two years..make that the best run of my life actually! Went further than expected. I mean i pushed myself.....im amazed what mind over body actually means now. Heh, I jogged 3.6 Km non stop! And i hadnt ran in two weeks! 3.6 Km! this is Farah youre talking about! thats a mean feat for her man! Applause please!!! I guess this may be a one off wonder...maybe had the energy after all that slobbing around! At least i dont feel so wasted anymore! Yay!

Went to science center yesterday! havent been there in ages! The place is kinda different when you come at your own leisure and not with a class on some school excursion!

Watched Madagascar after that. What a let down. Plot could have been developed but heck, its a kid's show. Still, i had my fair share of laughter. Wouldnt have enjoyed the show much without the company i had. :p

Ahhh....whee~

you make me feel whee-ish~

Hello, anybody there?

Think Farah Think.

Do you really wanna end up being the slob that you almost are? You can stop this evil transformation!

My dear friends! Help me please! I am bored. Take me away from my bed!!!! I am getting bed sores from just lying there and staring at the ceiling! Heeeeeeeeeeeeelp......
If you do not drag me from here, the next time you come to my house, you will not recognise me......for i will have transformed....into........a pillow.
Hmm. Maybe all pillows were humans once...but they slobbed around all day that they began to look like the very thing next to them.

Gargh.....TAKE ME OUT!!!

Babes, dudes! Where are you?

Sobs.

Im so bored, thats why.

The Classic Star Wars Test

Farah, you're Obi-Wan Kenobi

"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine." Truly the words of a confident teacher, you and "old Ben" share the calm wisdom of someone who's seen it all. You are probably the type of person who enjoys giving back to the community, whether by organizing the annual block party or volunteering time to help others.You know you're not perfect and that's why being a mentor is so fulfilling. You can teach others about the mistakes that you made. Like Obi-Wan, you are an excellent judge of character — often recognizing aspects of yourself in others. You know how to teach life lessons without being preachy, and while you may not quite have the Jedi mind trick figured out, your honest conviction can be very persuasive.

Hmm...interesting. I thought i'd be a wookie. Hoeugh~

Blues

I am a selfish person.
I want things my way or i get pissed.
I am not understanding. I try to. But face it, im not.
I rationalise whenever i can but i still feel sore later.
I get upset and i upset people when i do.
I dont like to be hurt and dissapointed...cos i get sad..and angry...but mostly sad...and angry....and then guilty for feeling angry..then i feel sad again.

Im too soft for my own good.

Im too emotional.

Im too sensitive.

I need to grow up.

A great review

On msn now with Nirwan, who's explaining to me "The clone wars" some cartoon tie up to ep3...i finally geddit! Now i know why that general grievous guy kept wheezing in the movie. Watched it last Sat. Read Nirwan's blog for a summary of the show.

An excerpt:
"Dialogue seems to have improved generally. Gotta love the cryptic warnings of that green little Yoda, hehe. Jar Jar Binks has *finally* been moved into total obscurity and the Chancellor is simply awesome; hearing him work his insidious ways is simply chilling. There are still a couple of pretty idiotic lines, one of which appear in the conversation between Padme and Anakin. Once you hear it, you'll be like "groooooooooaaaannnn".

Still, it's a pretty damn good movie and Lucas managed to redeem himself for the bleh efforts of 1 and 2. Star Wars is ultimately about the rise and fall of Anakin Skywalker and Hayden Christiansen definitely managed to show the inner turmoil that exists within his character. The last scene is pretty touching and shows us the spark of humanity that Luke will eventually appeal to in order for Anakin to redeem himself."


I think he did a great review (honestly, dude, you write well, go be a journalist!!! or better still, a flick reviewer!)...and i think Palpitine (affectinately known as Palpy) is one heckuva genius villain. Ok, really, do read his blog...there's some link thingy that you can choose not to open in the event you havent watched the show...spoilers so to speak. I mean NIrwan really did a prac crit (Practical Criticism to the non lit students) of ep3! Applause, please!

Star wars fever aside (i was informed yesterday that somewhere in town, there were M&Ms dressed as characters yest...if only i were there. Id give the M&Ms big hugs! ), [darn, i lost my train of thought. Bah. Shall blog next time.]

Blast from the past...

Met up with kartini,aisyah,widya and shikin today. It was really really nice to see them after so long!Whoa...havent seen some one of them after the Os.

Of course there was the inertia..i mean, gosh, i was worried that i might be dead bored. After all, the meeting i had with certain peeps frm sec school (my class no less!) last monday wasnt exactly exciting.

But today was different!

It was really nice....fun. I enjoyed myself...we're gonna meet again in july. 9th July babes! Dont forget! :) Ive missed you guys so much..

Beautiful day!

Its so nice and sunny outside!!!!!!!

If only everyday could be as sunny and windy as this....and the mornings and nights, nice and cool.

:)

Bumming at home. Listening to the radio....
Okay, partially bumming cos trying to settle some Swaps publicity for the upcoming freshmen orientation camp. yes, cannot escape responsibilities can i? haha. But im not gonna blog much about work la and im not complaining cos quite frankly, im glad i have at least something to do over the hols.

Supposed to have dinner with Pema today. Her birthday's coming up and we were supposed to meet and exchange our presents. (my long overdue cap!) but we've rescheduled it to sat cos we"ll both be in school for the arts open house. Im pretty glad actually. Cos my entire body is aching!!!!

So that makes 2 wednesdays in a row that ive stayed home! Maybe, i should declare wednesdays "Slacker Day".

Heard results are coming out soon. Gargh. But, cannot escape the inevitable la. And no matter how bad it is, know what? Its life baby. I"ll accept it and i"ll work harder. I mean, look around...other people have bigger problems to worry about. ok, so im consoling myself.....but its true!

Okay, shall resume stoning/bumming now.

Ouchhhhhh......

I am pre-empting how my body would feel in 24hrs. I would probably find myself completely immobile when i wake up tomorrow. In fact, I can already feel the aches building up on my arms, shoulders and yes, the right butt cheek. You guessed it, I just played badminton.

It was a fun game. I mean I trashed the dude i was playing with. Even though i was cramming at some points and feeling immensely uncomfortable (oh, life as a girl) and I even thrashed him with my left hand! Haha..najib,najib, najib, you suck lor. Hahhahahahahahha....man, if only i had stamina, then i can really really beat you, with a smile.

Went for a ride ard tampines on a yellow van that claims o be a car. I mean really. -_-. But it was an experience..hahahahhaha....a millenium falcon? Hahahahhahaha.

And yes, tiger ali singh, nice name. :)

Watched Dogville yesterday. Nicole Kidman is a fantastic actress. Real brilliant performance. Show was draining. Really was. Kinda reminded me of watching Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf. You just feel spent at the end of the show.

Bumped into tonnes of ppl in town yesterday. Why is it that whenever you dont want to be seen by people you know, you end up seeing them nonetheless?

I think i look awful in yellow.

Im on my diet......yet again. Yes, i farah, am gonna try to resume my anti fast food stand. hey, i was successful for 3 months okay? I remember after watching Supersize me with Ave and Nirwan last year, i was so appalled, that i stayed away from the lard side.

Star wars episode 3's finally out. Cannot wait to watch it...anyone out there has the Attack of the clones vcd/dvd? can i borrow? Need to refresh memory.

Dry

Gargh.

The mother of the kids I tutor has just informed me that I am to resume tuition the week before school reopens. Great. What does that imply? I"ll be BROKE for one whole month! Dry, penny-less, pockets emptied out. Okay, so i exaggerate. I mean i still get my allowances and all but nothing beats earning the money i have. It gives me justification for indulging myself whenever I leave home and come back with bags of clothes and stuff. Now i'd probably feel guilty.

Ah well, perhaps I shall learn to be thrift once again. Yes, thrift. A word ive forgotten for quite some time now.

Besides, its only for a month. I can survive. I mean im not that high maintanence, right?

Right.

Besides, i shall take this to be a vacation not only from school but from work too.

Had a splendid dream today. I didnt need to repeat any modules. And i got what i wanted. I woke up at 6am feeling great before realising that it was only a dream.

Then i went back to sleep.

Then i had another more realistic dream. I had to repeat those modules. Well, the lecturer told me he wasnt sure but he said 4 ppl needed to repeat it and it might include me. Then i woke up and was GLAD it was only a dream.

The inner turmoils of Farah. Oh, i need divine intervention.

PLease pray for me.

:)

Wow.

I spent the whole day out of my house yesterday.

Went for breakfast at macs in the morn, went to clementi to settle some SASW thingy....then brought a friend ard NUS campus....then went to jurong point and loitered and then watched House of Wax (damn lousy..but im such a coward..kept grabbing my friend's arm...sorry NH. But that will be THE LAST TIME i watch a "scary" movie.)....then went bowling at marina sq...then went to the terrace place thingy at the esplanade...wow...the view is kinda nice! I'd never been there before.

Yeah....fun fun fun.

Nice.
Thanks dude.

Skins

Yikes, im going crazy!!

I cant seem to find THE blogskin for me! I reckon i need a change of blogskin..need something a bit more refreshing..what do you think?

PS: If you guys come across a skin that screams "Farah", do tell okie? Thanks!

Mothers' Day

Yeah, so last sunday, finally, all six of us managed to come together to celebrate mom's day. I must say, that was the most memorable mothers day ever.

I mean, when was the last time the 6 of us went shopping together? Okay, it wasnt exactly shopping but we were wondering ard bugis together while waiting for our reservation at this malay restaurant at jalan Sultan. It was strange cos if im not mistaken, we havent hung out together(besides over lunch,dinner or hari raya) in like a long long long time.

Anyway, dinner was great. There were like performances and stuff..and since it was mom's day, they pulled my mom up on stage! So so funny! It was some contest on how to wear the kain samping..so the two moms had to compete and then model in front of the whole restaurant. Man, it was sooooo entertaining! My mom rocks! She totally sashayed her way! Hahah and boy, i never knew she was so competitive! Since the winner would be given to the contestant with the loudest cheer, i screamed my lungs out! But cheh, in the end, both moms got the same prize. No fair.

anyhoo, gave my mom a watch...all of us shared..she seemed pleased.

Moving on....

Okay, EYEBAGS. HOW DO YOU GET RID OF EYE BAGS?
i dont geddit. my exams are over. ive been sleeping more....and yet my eyebags are worse than during the exam period! Why??? Not to mention dark rings. GARGH.

Kingdom of Heaven

A MUST watch.

One of the best shows i have watched recently. In fact, i do agree that it is one of Ridley scott's best movies. Tactfully delivered indeed considering what could have happened if Scott did not craftfully avoided using religion as the sole motivation of the Crusades. He surfaced the underlying reasons behind any war :

Power, greed: Politics.

As i entered the cinema, I was a tad worried that somehow, just somehow, i might be witnessing 2 hrs of battles between Islam and Christianity. And i shuddered thinking that "shucks, this is hollywood, they always portray Muslims as well, terrorists, bad ppl...the last thing we need at a time like this is another one of those movies"

So filled with scepticism(how do you spell it?), i cringed and silently prayed that the reviews i had read in the papers was right...that Scott didnt have that Muslims VS christian thingy.....
True enough, as the show went on, i began to really enjoy myself.
The show had nothing to do with religion at all.
The show was well, beautiful.

Beautiful because it showed that both christians and muslims do not want war. That it is the means end outcome.....
There was a speech that Orlando Bloom gave somewhere in the show that really moved me......that the fight for Jerusalaam was well, unfounded, cos in essence, nobody has the right to claim the place as their own and stuff ....and that the they had to fight only to protect themselves.

I am so grateful that the Muslims were well and fairly depicted. Not fanatical turban wearing ppl carrying AK47s (fine, so the time period gave no leeway for AK47s..but you get the pic). At least they were depicted as fair, calm...and honourable.

The idea behind a kingdom where Muslims, Christians and Jews can coexist again was so beautiful...a kingdom of heaven indeed.

I strongly urge everyone to watch this show. I was truly moved. I found tears in my eyes a couple of times during the fight scenes.....its unexplainable...i just found myself thinking that this is a parody of what is happening today...and i felt sad...that even a thousand of yrs later ppl are still fighting under the pretences of religion. that ppl are fighting abt something that happened before they were even born.

War. What a dreadful thing. I told my friend after the show...that the palestianian, israelis, Bush, Taleban, fanatical muslims and christians should watch this show.

As i left the cinema heavy hearted (the show ended peacefully...but with a slide which states that even today, the situation persists), I wondered, was everyone else who watched the movie as equally moved as i was? Were they now more educated than before? Or are they still ignorant and simply enjoy watching it for entertainments sake?

I honestly and sincerely pray that it is the former.

Snip

So i finally chopped em off. No, no, do not be alarmed. I havent completely gone bonkers and cut my hair real short or anything.....Ive just finally given it a good trim...a badly needed one at that. I hadnt been to the hair salon since last July thereabouts.

Ahh, refreshing! At least my head's not so heavy anymore...but you know whats the most irritating bit? My brother couldnt tell. He was like "Farah, you got cheated...it looks the same"
i TRIMMED IT. Grr. But he could have said it looks a bit different at least!!! Its Not COMPLETELY the same! GRRRR.

And did he notice it changed color? NO. Grrrr.

Then again, who cares about my brother? (although hearing him say i wasted my money just drove me nuts...i didnt pay $78 for nothing...thank god he doesnt know how much it cost me or he would have made me feel worse...as if its his money to begin with -_-)

Ah well. At least i feel good that i dont need to tie my hair everytime i go out anymore.

So if you see me in the days to come, say smt nice about my hair or just dont say anything will ya? Thanks.

Losing touch

Am i?

I think i am. I think im drifiting away from Allah. As in why dont i feel as close to him as i did before? I really want it to be like it used to....or has my faith always been like this but ive only realised this now?

Could it be that i have very few Muslim friends in NUS to remind me to not step away too far?

Could it be because i find myself being able to freely talk about religion to anyone? And that i find so many things similar across the various faiths? Am i betratying my religion by agreeing to some stuff from other religions that in my opinion sorta overlap with mine?

My friend Karina asked me today why im not involved in MS...so it got me thinking a bit...How come i dont wanna be ard the NUS muslim soc ppl? Is it cos they all speak malay and all the girls are all clique-ish and well, wear the tudung and stuff? I dont know really.

Haiya, whatever la. As long as my faith remains within my heart and soul, im fine. I just need to be reminded once in a while....once in a while.

Insya-allah.

By the way, its 05-05-05 to day! So cool!!!!

Bored

Okay, i came up with like things to do during this vacation..in no particular order:

1) Learn golf from my dad
2) Learn the drums from my dad or from anyone who wants to teach me!!
3) Study my french and master it
4) Learn a bit of Arabic
5) Read all the books ive always wanted to read but had no time during the semester..Anyone has the LOTR book? Can i borrow pls???
6) Watch all the dvds ive missed out on
7) Attempt to read stuff about Islam.
8) Sing? hahha.
9)PLan for SWAPS FOC

Okay, i cant think of other stuff to do. Im too darn lazy to go out of the house. Ah well..

And sigh, i read in the papers about the bomblast near a museum in Cairo. Those bleeping suicide bombers are attacking tourists. I mean, REALLY? Im so pissed la. CAN I PLEASE ENJOY MY TRIP???? I mean really? DO you think Allah condones such acts? Killing ppl like that? What's your problem? Grr.

I really want world peace. How i want the world to be a better place. I remember crying after i read some stuff in my sociology text....and in my social psych about prejudice, religion and stuff like that.

Ah me, im such a crybaby.

okay peeps, if youre bored, you know how to reach me!

And oh, anyone wants to be my badminton kaki? I mean i cant play alone can i? Im waiting for ade to come back la.

Bah, i need to exercise!

Let the bumming begin....

oh yeah....im all ready to bum bum bum!
(incidently, this would be the start of really boring blog entries documenting my rather mundane and uneventful life...for now that is....until i get to EGYPT..ah yes, the land of the pharoahs)

Watched episodes of charmed..the upcoming season that is..some friend of my sis got it online.

Went out shopping today. Burnt like $50+ just like that! My gosh. I should restrain myself. i mean really! If each time i step out of the hse and burn money like that, id be broke.

O yeah, got a really cool qoute to share....saw it from some movie mag...its a spin on what yoda said in episode 1:

"Insecurites lead to fear, fear leads to eating and eating leads to the LARD side". Man, that is so funny.

Watched smallville. Oh, WHY? why cant NUS have gorgeous looking ppl like Clark? Or nice broody bad boyish types like Lex luther whos oh- so- hot?(and rich and gorgeous) Boo. Im dissapointed!! I want a gorgeously yummy and brainy guy to play with. Okay, not play as in PLAY but play as in play. Nice play. Okay, i so do not make sense.

so dont mind me if i pout in a corner.

[pout]

Oh, did this quiz thingy from kim's blog...Its called "Whats your seduction style"

"The Charmer"
You're a master at intimate conversation and verbal enticement.You seduce with words, by getting people to open up to you.By establishing this deep connection quickly, people feel under your power.And then you've got them exactly where you want them!


Righttttt.......so if thats so true, where are all the smitten-by-my-words guys huh? HUH?

[returns to corner to pout]

Year One Sem 2, adious!

Its over alright. My gosh, what a semester. I dont know where to begin recaping. It just felt like one whole year has gone by even though its only been 4 months.

Ended well, with a splat. Stats. ah well, its over.

Life. Breathe. Live.

My left eyeball hurts. This stabbing feeling..aowww. I think my brain's retaliating or something..seeking revenge for the information overload over the past few days. Stop it brain! Desist! Desist! It wasnt the eyeball's fault!

Watched the OC just know. Finally, guilt free Tv.

OKay, cant take it, my eyeball really hurts.

Im outta here!

Day of reckoning

In exactly 4 and half hours time, i will be sitting for THAT paper.

Funny how my brain feels like mush. My brain and body's protesting, begging me to stop this absurd mad rush to read every single chapter...but i will not desist. you hear me brain? I will not. You hear me you weak body? You are soooo gonna read and understand those remaining chapters. Then you can have your 3 months holiday. So shut up.

Like one the epilogues in my textbook said "semantic organisation is of vital importance. Otherwise, imagine that all the things youve studied for are written on cards.....and these cards are not linked, not categorised. What would you get? A big pile. A mess" Okay, so i paraphrased. But thats the gist of it. But frankly, Mr Reed, frankly, its better to have a big messy pile than NO PILE AT ALL.

So there.

God help me.

...

Burnt. Toast. Screwed. Alamak. Dammit. Crap la.

Its official. Bye bye CAP. Bye bye.

Congratulations farah. You really did it this time. Beyond hope already. Was looking at past year's social psych and cognitive papers.

DIE LAH. I HAVENT EVEN STUDIED COGNITIVE LAH.

Ashamed of myself. So so ashamed.

Boo.

[flings self out the window]

ouch.

im alive. dont worry. Not suicidal. At all. Im looking forward to shopping too much to throw my life away OVER A PIECE OF PAPER.

crying wont help. screaming into a pillow wont either. Abusing ppl wont either.

So, in sum, i shall just suck it up, read my lect notes, and walk into the examination hall with my head high. At least, if the paper's a killer, i'd die knowing that at least, at the very least, i read the damned lecture notes before hand.

argh.

Fat Friday

Feeling so fat. Fat fat fat fat fat.

So hot.

Just showered.

Just came home from school. Wow, i miss coming home from school early. Feels like secondary school again!

Had soci paper today. Okay lah, i think i gave it my best shot. So for that, im happy.

Got back my social psych presentation marks. Not entirely thrilled about it but, given the circumstances, (it was done the day before if you remembered), then im happy lah.

Okay, thanks to my friend, i realised that i officially have 3 more papers to go.

Wohoooooo! In exactly one weeks' time, I would be out with my sister shopping!!!!!!

{squirm} (only justina would know what i mean! hehe.)

Righto, for now, back to mugging!

Tick tock tick tock

No, its not the clock stuck in that crocodile that ate captain cook up.

Yikes. Im running out of time. Im not studying in school today. School's getting too packed and scary.

Argh, fell asleep. And its like MID AFTERNOON!

Must keep awake. No time to waste. No time at all!

Suffer one more week...then can enjoy 3 months break. What a bargain.

And i came up with fantastic quote yesterday evening while having one of my nervous/ anxiety /panic attacks:

"When stressed, remember two things: God and the power of moderation".

home!!

yeah! My sister came back yesterday morning from her Greek vacation. Spent the whole day catching up with her. Yes, so i only finished one chapter of studying...but still....i couldnt help it! Am so so happy cos she brought back tonnes of stuff! Mostly so cos she bought for me a cool lime green Zara top, earrings, necklace....ah...puts me in a shopping mode. Man, the top is niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....BUT, i"ll prob never wear it unless im either driving or am driven to my destination. Its quite low cut lar. I mean, i cant imagine wearing it on the bus and letting ci-ko-peks stare down my chest. Eeeek.

Cant wait for exams to end...then can finally shop with my sis. Oh, but must lose the weight ive gained thus far thanks to all the munching of rubbish tidbits and chocs....do you know how thoroughly depressing it is to not be able to fit in something you thought you could fit into and then you realise in the changing room that "dammit.....argh". and then you leave the fitting room feeling like a cow.

Anyhow, woohoo, 11 more days to FREEEEDOOOOM!!!!!

Finally, cog is making sense to me. So is stats!

Enlightenment? I hope so!

okie peeps....you should be mugging and not blog surfing...SO BACK TO WORK!

The prayer

Dear God,

Its me again. Well, its that time of the year when i come crawling to you for yet another one of Your miracles. You've helped me a lot through these years....and i profusely thank you for that.
In fact, sometimes i wonder if i deserve what i have...but i am so grateful to You nonetheless. Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah.

Allah, please give me the strength and courage to go on studying. Please help me make my family (oh how i love them so much that no words can describe) proud of me.
Allah, i know i used to dream of getting first class honours...to make it to the dean's list...etc etc etc...how foolish of me....All i want now, is to be satisfied....to be happy....contented.

I know i havent been a very good muslim. Im ashamed of that fact. I really am. But i try my best. Sigh.

So my exams are coming up. Help me please?

Bukakan hatiku kepada ilmu pengetahuan. Terangkan hatiku. Tenangkan fikiranku.

And allah, one last request, let it be, such that when i get my results back, i will not forget about You. No matter what it is, that i will not forget that everything good or bad comes from You. And that everything happens for a reason.....

Amin.

Im just like that. Must i explain myself?

Yeah, i suppose i would have to. So here it goes.....

Ive just realised something. I think that only my sec school and jc friends truly know what im like when im in my study serious mode.

It was in a lect....sitting with a few uni friends....and then i was focusing...in the zone...concentrating...and im sure those of you who know me would be familiar with my facial expression when im concentrating.......

So urgh. I just disliked how my friends asked me "are you okay? you seem stressed..relax...bla bla bla". My gosh. Since when must i explain and justify my facial expression? Man, i know you guys mean well but really!!

so let me make this clear: I AM PERFECTLY FINE, thanks for asking.

and i really am very very grateful for your concern, i really am. Its just that you know, sometimes i think that 'stress' can be imposed....do i make sense? As in you know, when im all well and feeling okay...and a whole group of ppl asks me "are you ok?" ....its a bit bizarre right? How am i suppose to react?

But really, thank you very much. It means a lot to me. Really.

Okay, glad i cleared things up.

PS: to ppl whom i have unconsciously offended and who i know i will be unconsciously offending in the days to come, my apologies for my hostility, abruptness etc etc etc...

Thanks for understanding once again.

Regards,
farah

state of mind

I will not panic.

I WILL not panic.

I Will NOT panic.

I will not PANIC.

I WILL NOT panic.

I WILL NOT PANIC.

PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[farah runs around hysterically and slams head into wall]

Ouch.

I will not panic.

I WILL NOT PANIC.

[omg omg omg!! NINE DAYS LEFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH]

I will not panic.

Phew. okay. Im fine now. Had panic attack yest. In fact i think theres like an internal panic alarm....sets off every evening at ard 5pm.

So i have 9 days left...[NINE DAYS YES].....ah well......i guess i"ll have to study smart.

CAN DO. Can do........

CAN LAR.......

right?

er...

Okay okay.....CAN...now get back to work.

Perseverer!!

Je ne sais pas pourquoi je ne peux pas utilise les accents!! Ah bien, je ecrite mon blog sans accents! Mais attention farah, pour ton test demain, n'oublie pas de accents!!!!

Oui, parce que j'ai un test (la derniere fois pour cette sem) demain, je dois ecrire et penser en francais.

Reellement, je suis a la fac maintenent. J'ai allee ici en voiture. Mon pere me conduire parce que aujourd'hui, c'est results de ma souer. En fait, il y a 5 heures, j'ai pris sa results parce qu'elle est en train de vacance au Grec. J'etais tres effrayer.....et quand l'heure est arrive, et la porte a ouvrie, mes parents sont entre......et je ne voulais pas entre cette salle.....beaucoup de gens...alors, j'ai attendu exterieur. Apres, j'ai cherche sa nom sur la tableu...C'est vrai!! Ma souer recue a!!!!! Ma mere etait tres hereuse!! Elle a pleure un peu, mais la larme de heuresement!!! Mon pere tres hereux aussi. Et moi, je ne pourrai pas attendre elle retourner a singapour. Bien sur, je attends man present!!!

Et, oui, je suis tres tres tres tres tres fierere de ma souer. Pourquoi? Parce qu'elle a etudie bien!! Aujourd'hui, elle est le medicin!!

Alhamdulillah!

Alors, apres cette evenement du matin, je dois travaille serieusement.....je dois etudier si mes parents seront me fierere. Oui, j'ai deux semain mais je connais, si je commence aujourd'hui et si je suis priere, insya-allah, j'aurai succes.

Amin.

[PS: yes, i wrote this in french myself..which is why it sucks. argh. well, at least i could write a post in french! hahahahha]

Stalked!

I just got home but Im still so so shaken!!

My goodness...I thought it'd never happen in my neigbourhood but urgh. At least thank God, Im fine!!

So i alighted the bus.. buble in my ear..minding my own business as i walk the stretch from the bus stop to my house...then i heard shuffles....i turned, it was this guy, who looked like some teacher or smt..so anyway, he was gaining on me...but i couldnt be bothered. I thought that he was probably rushing back home and i was in his way or smt...so i moved slower to let him pass.....

Then when he got ahead of me, he slowed down as if to walk beside me...i think he smiled or smt but i looked away...the last time i smiled at a stranger in school, i had to endure being harassed..long story.Besides, i was tired.......and had this weird feeling...
so i uttered a silent prayer to myself.. i prayed that whatever the guy's intentions are, protect me from harm...so that i may reach home safely....

then it happened! My suspicions were confirmed! He was following me! He thought i would go down this little flight of stairs leading to my block..he kept glancing back..so i walked on and pretended i was heading to other blocks...then he did the same!!Then i went to the lift landing of my block...AND HE DID THE SAME!!!.....

He thought i was gonna take the lift but instead i took the stairs. Phew...then he backed off..

Dammit, is this place safe anymore? Stalk me for what??!!!! HIt you with my stats book and scream into your ear then you know. But that aside, i was honestly very very very frightened. Oh man.

My dad scolded me for staying in school till so late....but urgh...i needed to mug!!

Anyway, alhamdulillah im safe and sound at home...

PHEW.

PS: looks can be deceiving cos the guy, this chinese middle aged guy who can pass off as some maths or econs teacher really looked decent....ah well. So dear friends, beware ya?

Deadly sin: So slOb me.

Was reading the Sunday times just now. Wow, its been a while since i actually sat down and really digest whats going on. (while munching on my chocolate hazelnut moose cake at 10.30am) (in fact, im munching on pringles now...so much for breakfast).

So, singaporeans think that lazyness is one of the most deadly sins eh? I concur...oh how i agree. Just look at me now! And im feeling guilty for waking up late, only to have my digestive system break down tonnes of fats!

My goodness, sometimes, i think my parents are doing this to me on purpose!!! Buying so much goodies in the house! How will i ever lose that bleeping 5 kg i sought to in my new year's resolution (which, by the way, was carried forward from 2 years ago..so you see how im not progressing at all)

Just check out my kitchen man! 6..yes, SIX cans of pringles, 1 packet of some cadbury chocolate centred cookies, another pack of some cadbury chocolate biscuits, some kerepek merepek thing, bauloo (how do you spell that), a pack of Tim Tams, 2 huge packets of cheezels...and goodness, im too afraid to look in the fridge!

[farah takes another chip.....hmm..label says 0g trans Fat...oh really? COME ON LAH]

Anyway, progressing at a fine/splendid rate for my socio write up!! Managed to do my surveys...all i need to do now is to throw in some charts and rip off some statement from some source (of course id leave a biblio la) and then im done! Weekend wonder write-up done!

PS: thanks to my ever so patient subjects/interviewees...though i must say, Farhana, you are the suckiest and most annoying subject anyone can have! Remind me NOT to interview you for my thesis or smt! So degil!(stubborn/too clever for your own good) hahahahhaha..

Oh gosh, i feel sick now. All that choc cake and pringles churning...bluergh.

Will go jog them off later...i think...nah...maybe i"ll go tmr...heh, or maybe tuesday...hehehe.

somebody SLOB me baby. yeah!

(mental note: austin powers is not a good influence. i keep saying "baby" these days. stop it farah.)

Oh yea, i think ive fallen in love with my tuition kids! Well, i dont know why.....but i was teaching the two sisters like from 4-8pm...and their parents werent home...and well, they were so independent...you know, the elder one taking care of the other two....and my goodness...the youngest one, this little boy called Hakim, is so darn cute. He's in primary 3. So so lovable. So naughty too. He tried to show he was a good boy by doing his english hmk while i taught his elder sis...then he quietly crept up to me and said "i dont know how to do".....man, my heart just melted! I mean, im not even paid to teach the fella..but ahh...so i taught him....then after his attention span wanned, which was like within 1/2 hour, he kept making me laugh by creeping behind his sister and making funny noises and stuff....Oh but the really reallly funny thing that got me laughing so hard was when he refused to bathe....and then, as i was teaching the eldest sis, he crept behind her, and wrapped his towel over her head and went "arghhhhhh"...hahahhaha...so hilarious! Oh man, she was pissed! (amazingly, his sister had to bathe him cos their mother doesnt trust the boy to bathe by himself....i was kinda shocked cos he's NINE!! then again, he is rather mischievous...might waste water)

Anyway, by the time it was time for me to leave, he was saying "stay la..can watch cartoon....a while only" Oh, how i wanted to. For a moment, i didnt feel like a tutor! I felt like i was the babysitter or something! But i had to go home...

Haha..ah well, i suppose i'd always wanted a little brother. Hahah, i even wanted to bring him home! hahah...and no, I am not and do not harbour kidnapping tendencies.

Ok, ok, i shall get back to work..So gonna finish socio today!

The sun shines.....im happy again

Honestly, im pretty darn sure my mood and the weather are somehow correlated.

Just came home....Buble's in my ear. Decided to turn away from angry music....and im feeling more relaxed...Its a beautiful evening...beautiful.....and suddenly everything seems all nice...babies in the train made me smile.....heh, the man who made funny faces at one of the babies made me smile...its nice to see men playing with babies...just melts the heart.

[lets out a deep sigh]
What a day...was almost late for school today..wait, i was late for lect. Luckily my dad sent me...and so, i memorised the route to school so that should he ever not want to send me to school, i'll just threaten him and tell him i'll drive there myself! ;) So here's the deal....TAKE THE ECP cos its so fast. Do NOT exit at Rochor. Go all the way straight...and then somehow you"ll see Normaton Park....Keep driving....then either exit when you see Science Park and hence go thru NUH or exit at Clementi and go by the bus route 96. Heh, pretty easy!

Had lunch with cheryl,dhevi and marisa....was supposed to study cog in the second hour..but slobs that we are. SIGHS.

Had a chat with Cheryl. Youre right cheryl...Im suppressing it under hatred. And youre right. Hatred is not the way to power my determination.
And youre right: Im quick to be determined but not many ppl know the other truth. Heh, lets just leave that in the dark shall we?

So i take it back. I would have deleted the darn post but again, Cheryl, youre right. Its a process. Besides, its a little hypocritical of me....

So yes, its true. Sometimes Im hot, sometimes im cold...sometimes im hot, sometimes im cold...on and on and on...I guess its not easy being you. If i were you, id be so frustrated with me...and then i'd run away from me...you know, that temperamental, highly emotional girl that farah is....id run far far faraaaaaa away.

So here i go, [heaves big sigh]

Im sorry.

I dont know if you still read my blog....Im sorry nonetheless. Im sorry for puttin you in a spot.

SO SOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYY.

There.

So now, hatred aint gonna fuel me....my fuel....is well....im still trying to figure out..maybe my fuel...is just to do my best. Just to be happy. Satisfied.

That's it. I shall just work as hard as i can. And whatever i get or how i do, i'll be satisfied.
That feels so much better. So so much better.

Quando quando quando playing now. :)

PS: Thanks chris. Thanks for everthing...OH!! and for educating farah on how to get to orchard from school...heh, take 95, drop after buena vista MRT...the take 111 and drop after lucky plaza to get to heeren!! Wheee~ hahahhahahaha..im prob the last undergrad to know the way to town by bus! better late than never..

Oh yea, in case youre wondering, i went there to collect the photos...havent seen em. Should be interesting.HAhahahahhaha.

Okay okay.....enjoy youre weekend peeps!