9 months

And yet, I feel like I've been here for so much longer.

I need to make a commitment to myself:

Thou shalt not job-hop. A rolling stone gathers no moss. Moss is green. Green is the color of currency (well, at least most commonly associated with currency even though locally, it's not applicable but hey, since most of us subscibe to western pop culture, why not). And the money tree ain't gonna grow as much or as fast if you keep changing jobs and remain stuck at entry level jobs. So suck it up and stay for at least 2-3 years.

Two to three years? Wow. Today's not only the 9th month working here, but it's also my 2 year anniversary- working. Period. And in 2 years, I've had 2 jobs. I wonder where I'll be in 5 years. How can anybody stay at a job for more than 2 years? Inconceivable! Then again, check my employment history.

A history that must be changed.

I shall commit! One step at a time. My short term goal? To survive longer than I did in my first job (15 months).

Roadtrip

The five of us took a drive up to Desaru over the weekend. Havent had a family vacation in quite a while. The last time we went there, was 20 years ago. 20. Wow. I feel old. Hur hur.

Anyway, I love quick getaways. So lucky msia has wonderful islands and yummy cheap food.

:) bliss

Humility

A spate of events over the last few days have been a needed reminder to be humble.

The anxiety, the void, the disconnect can in some parts be attributed to me wrapping myself up with thoughts of how I know a whole lot more than others. And yet, in just a few days, all that ego and self-perceived edge melted away.

Today, I am humbled. And, I am grateful. I feel pieces of myself falling back into place.

Relieved. I am me again.

A little faith

LA HAWLA WA LA QUWWATA ILLA BILLAH
The meaning of this expression is: " There is no power and no strength save in Allah." This expression is read by a Muslim when he is struck by a calamity, or is taken over by a situation beyond his control. A Muslim puts his trust in the hands of Allah, and submits himself to Allah.

Taken from http://www.islamicweb.com/begin/key_term.htm#LAHAWLA

Go Team!

I need bounce this off someone but since I can't think of anyone and most people are armchair psuedo psychologists/counsellors any way, help me out here:

I love my work. I enjoy what I do and I find meaning in doing what I do. Getting work done motivates me. Well, of course there are parts of work I dont like but I know it's necessary for a small fry like to me execute - the nitty gritty admin stuff to make sure things go smoothly and all, but I love the other part of it. Influencing the environment, working toward something that will have a larger impact on people and how they lead their lives. That is absolutely fulfilling.

And working across departments, divisions and even agencies is exhilarating albeit challenging because you have to negotiate between your needs and theirs, etc.

But then the other aspect of work and one I find of late, well, inconvenient, is face time with my own team. It's like they dont get it nor see the importance of my work. At least that's how I feel. And I can't be bothered to explain to them. Yes, yes, so technically it's also my fault for not explaining and getting them involved but believe me, I've tried. Nobody seemed interested.

Ah, to be blessed with a boss with high EQ. She has definitely sensed my disengagement and apparently, the bosses upstairs are throwing around and screaming how important team work is, so she's echo-ing that, among others (but thats a different story). Blast. Of all the times. When I was a super team player sharing my work and opinion, nobody cares. When I've suddenly chosen to disengage and focus on my priorites, they throw team work in.

But how can I smile and play 'Go team!' when I honestly just want to do my work?

Anyway, I sense boss is trying to find out what's wrong with me. I have avoided the issue because until I've pinned the precise cause of my disengagement, I really don't know how to respond. My spider senses tell me she's going to seek me out this week. I thank God I'm not spider man - higher probability of me being wrong about this.

I am perfectly contented to leave this be. When I said I've moved on from the emo period, I really have. I think I've just grown up at work.

Yes, I think that's it :)

All the US can say is that it 'deeply regrets' what happened? Sanction em! Hypocrites. Hope this is not going to be one of those incidents that will be swept under the rugs of history. If it had been an arab nation responsible for the atrocity, the world would so gladly respond in violence under the guise of democracy/liberation. What justice is this?