Healthy progress

Its mid mid-sem break and I think Im more productive this mid-sem break than previous sems. Or so I hope. But im satisfied so far.

Progressing steadily in my lab in applied psych project. Which is great. I think i have fantastic group members :) So at least Im glad that this 70% project will be in good hands.

I have finished reading all the chaps covered so far for gen bio. Yes, gloat gloat gloat. But im proud of myself. And know what? The Krebs cycle isnt so hard what. Its understandable. So why do all those post A level bio peeps keep giving me the creeps by shuderring when I mention it? Its quite interesting too. Sigh. Hope im not being to cocky though. Reading and understanding is one thing. Doing well is another. I have a nagging suspicion that the finals' MCQs are gonna be way tricky. Still, i'll be ready and no way am i gonna S/U this mod :)

Been reading arabic too and alhamdulillah, i think i am improving :)

Ok, so im still deciding which topic to do for my eva acad arg mod's position paper. Should I write on 'entrapment' or 'legalising prostitution'?

Then, theres the fact that Ive totally neglected bio psych and adol psych. Im struggling with the former btw. Hopefully not for long.

Oh gosh. I dont think im that satisfied with my mid-sem break after all. ARGH.

Another 4 days to go...(but then i'll be working on my lab report...)

BLIMEY.

breathe farah breathe..

Stuff to do

BY this week:-

1) Gen bio lab assignment 3
2) Lab in health report 2
3) Gem 1008 critique
4) Gem 1008 position paper research
5) Lab in health project research

a little 'off time'

I cant exactly remember what i was dreaming about in my sleep but i vaguely remember heading to the swimming pool in one segment of it while in another segment of my dream I was speaking French (really badly, i must add) to some people. And in another segment someone was after us? 'Us' who? I have no idea.

Ive been sleeping too much. I cant seem to get myself out of bed. Take today for instance. I woke up at 5am to sahur but all i could do was to drink water with half open eyes (thankfully, i always put a bottle of water by my bed) and i went back to sleep. Woke up at 8am but then i went back to sleep. Woke up at 9.15am but went back to sleep. Woke up at 10am....and i had to force myself to sit up.

Im obviously lacking motivation to wake up.

And my sleep-wake cycle has wrongly stabilised after thurs. Im sleeping 10 hours a day now. Gosh, this is unhealthy.

Slacked on saturday and sunday but I deserve it lah.

Went to ECP on sat for a morn run with nudgie, tuition (her finals are in 2 WEEKS TIME!!! argh), then had lunch with nudgie and his sister (think the sister is warming up to me :) ) and later went to my aunts place for some prayer thing for my grandma (cant believe its almost a year already since she left).

Sunday was slacking around even though I was scheduled to study. Went shopping with sister and heh, I bought myself a pair of shoes. I fell in love with it at first sight. Ive been looking for that kind of shoe for a very long time. Its black, velvet, pointy and flat.

Anyhoos, my dad has invited nudgie over on friday for dinner. I dont know whether to feel excited or anxious.

Its nearly mid-day now and im still deciding which subject I should study. I guess I'll just open my cupboard and grab whichever book that calls out to me. No point studying something Im not in the mood for. It is the break after all :)

Break.

Sleep deprived but satisfied.

Handed in the paper finally.

Breather for now.

Happy.

Extracted DNA just now :) Cool stuff :)

Waiting for a ride home. I think its best that the public be kept safely away from me.

Hmm, everyone around me is so happy :) So nice.

Kweeting and sharon very noisy. "Now then you know", says Kweeting. "Ha Ha Ha", says sharon :)

Hmm...Im.....happy :)

light at the end of the tunnel

When you really begin to question yourself about whether God has decided to not help you because He's helped you too much and you havent been that much of a grateful person.

When you feel that something so worldly and inconsequential in the larger scheme of things shouldn't get to you but alas, it did.

When you think what a rotten person you are inside and wonder if God can forgive you and still loves you.

When you begin the question the way things are and why and then feel downright guilty about it.

When you just want to sleep cos thats where you feel happiest and care-free.

The blues.

But then, someone comes and lends a listening ear and offer kind words of advice and to remind you of what is. That's when all darkness dissipates and a rush of hope illuminates and pierces through the abyss you've drowned yourself in.

You realise and remember(as you always did, deep in your heart), that God will always be with you. God is forgiving. God is wise. God is loving.
God will always help if you ask Him to. All you got to do is to believe.

Then everything will truly be alright.

Insya-Allah.

Yank me hair out..GARGH!

Did not feel like getting out of bed today at all. I just wanted to sleep and forget about everything else. Call it my form of escapism.

How? HOW?

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, Breathe out.

The inertia to start yet again on yet another one, barely having the time to recover from the previous one.

Assignment after assignment after assignment after assignment...

I want term break to come. I need it to come. COME!!

gargh

What else is due (new)?

Item Status

1. Bio psych termpaper Done
2. Eva acad arg assignment Due Fri 15/9
3. Gen Bio lab assignment Due Tues 19/9 (dateline still to be confirmed)
4. Lab in app psych report 1 Due Wed 20/9
5. Adol psych critique Due Fri 22/9

Breathe.

Inspirational

I have often dreamed, of a far off place
Where a hero's welcome, would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying, this is where I'm meant to be
I'll be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way, if I can be strong
I know ev'ry mile, will be worth my while
When I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong

Down an unknown road, to embrace my fate
Though that road may wander, it will lead me to you
And a thousand years, would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime, but somehow I'll see it through
And I won't look back, I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track, no, I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope, but I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance, and my journey is complete

But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart
Like a shooting star, I will go the distance
I will search the world, I will face its' harms
I don't care how far, I can go the distance
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms
I will search the world, I will face its harms
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms

-Go the Distance, Michael Bolton

Mellow

Something is physically wrong with me.
My legs are stiff and heavier than usual while my head is light. I seem to somehow sway to the left when i stand up and if I lie down and close my eyes, I feel like I'm being sucked into a whirpool.

I am procrastinating.
I dont feel like starting on my term paper anytime soon but I know I must. I want to enjoy writing it up. I mean contrary to what others may feel, I enjoy the researching bit. The sense of purpose while listening to music I havent heard in ages and just bobbing my head is great but when it comes to actually consolidating everything you've found and churning out a comprehensive and sensible paper is the hardest bit. The adrenalin knowing that Im almost done gets me too excited that I just cant sit still to think.

I'm also feeling torn.
Two of my friends are celebrating their birthday in tomorrow. One of them's flying off soon and her birthday's in Oct while the other one has hers next week but both are having it tomorrow.
Question is, how does farah fly from clementi to pasir ris then to bugis (presumably) then head back to tamp all in 5 hours? Heck, I'll make it for both. These two girls are my friends and I want to be present at their 21st birthday celebration.

Tomorrow would also be our 15th month together. I know its silly but since we dont hang out much, making the effort to 'celebrate' each month is something that we share. The best thing about this relationship, however, is that we're flexible. (or rather, he is more than I am and should be) I mean, we both know that we have our own lives and circle of friends. So thank you for everything and for all the support you've given me in anything that I do. Even the littlest things you do for me means so much to me. And you've given me a lot.

Anyway, Im proud of myself for mustering enough gut yesterday as I went up to a certain lecturer. I am anticipating (and praying for) a favourable outcome :)

Also, a conversation I had a few days ago with a friend has been ringing in my head. I may have unintensionally arrived at a response without much thought. He asked if I were given a chance to work with a bunch of people for a project, would I join the people who have gotten 'A's or would I prefer to work with others (ie im assuming non A students)?

I immedietly responded that I would join the A group people. I now regret my answer and my reason.
I had mentioned that working with those A graders would give me the sense of security that these people are not slackers which I based on the assumption that grades are reflective of a person's interest and dedication to his/her work.

I now retract what I say because I realise and know that my reason is flawed.
Experience has showed me that grades are fluctuate. And I was wrong. I have worked my butt off for something before and was extremely passionate about it but I didnt score as well as others. To think that someone else would not want me in their group because of that bad grade and hence on that ill-conceived premise (which i had regrettably made) riles me. Besides, I do know of people who are not hardworking or as interested in work but who nonetheless managed to get As.

So my point is that if I have to choose groupmates, I would rather work with amicable people with positive work attitude. It doesnt matter what their previous grades may be. If I can work with people who share similar interests and working styles, Ill work with them for sure.

I guess we've been raised to think that grades (and therefore achievement) maketh the person. While it may be true to some, it could also be untrue. The relative in this matter, is the person, the key which is oft overlooked.

So having thought through the question, I humbly regret and am deeply ashamed at my rash answer previously.

How about you? Whoever is reading my blog? Given a situation where you must choose between amicable A graders and amicable others with whom you've worked with both groups of people before which would you choose?

eye

Doesnt the word the two 'e's in the word 'eye' look like eyes? With the 'y' as the nose?

My student's mom asked me if im 'senang' (prosperous) because ive gained weight.

....

eye

Ive formulated a few hypotheses. Namely, there is a correlation between weight gain and academic achievement (moderated or is it mediated (darn, i get confused btw the two) by eating behaviour). And, there is a correlation between liking a subject and doing well in it. Note, correlation doesnt mean its causal and of course, while the latter could be bidirectional, i dont see how the first can be. But you never know huh?

....

eye

Wonder why my tagboard hasnt been as 'happening' as it used to be before i removed it. Why ah?

eye

Blank.

Heh, did you feel like you were being stared at by 'eye's throughout this post?

Gosh. Im funny. :)

eye