Done. So I thought I'd reward myself for sleeping at 2am and leaving my house at 7am this morning and working my butt off to get this done. Switched on tv. Nada. Nothing good on tv la. Feel so cheated.

And technically, the report aint done till its vetted, edited and proofread like for the umpteenth time. I just hope Im home free this weekend. I want to slack without feeling guilty!!!

My shoulders are aching from all the typing. Ah! Bones is at 12 :) I shall watch it and clock in late tom. I deserve to sleep. Yesh, I do!

wah. one year ago. thesis schmesis man. ONE YEAR AGO? That's bleeping fast.

Aprils' fools is in 5 mins. Wonder who shall be my first prey.

Im so sleepy it's not funny. I have to write this report. Ive made one excuse after another and now it's all catching up.

URGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH.......

hhhh.........

..........

(bang head on table)

It's raining some more. So nice to snooze.

That's why Im typing report out on my desktop instead of laptop. Cos if laptop, the following sequence of events would inevitably occur..

a. Sit up with pillows propping back up and laptop on, er, lap. Type.
b. place laptop on bed and lie on my side, propping head up with one arm and typing with the other (hand).
c. pillow supports neck and type with two hands
d. hands fall off keyboard and hugs pillow..just for a little while...just a short...while..
e. ZzzZzzzzzZzzzz


NOOooooooo!

I just came back from my meet up with Pema. We watched the shopoholic show. I wanted to shop so badly after the movie ended but almost all the shops in town were either closed or closing. What night life?

Being fat is good. If I werent this size, believe me, I'd be spending tonnes of money on pretty clothes I might wear once or twice.

Anyway, the movie is quite nice. The two leads had chemistry. The actress was quirky-funny and reminded me of amy adams from that fairytale show. Sheesh, im bad with titles. The one with the mcdreamy guy...

And the male lead looks so much like that drummer from that thing you do (who went on to star in some chick flick which i cant remember).

Anyway, this movie's probably about the same level of romantic-comedyness as 27 dresses. Enough sigh to last 30 mins after the movie ends..then its forgotten. But it was good while it lasted.

We chilled at some coffee joint after that-which explains why im still wide awake now though I think it's more to do with me trying to prolong my Saturday since I have to wake up tom (today) to write my report (I dont want to!).

Hmm. I need more long-sleeved clothes. My ugly tanline (my wetsuit had short sleeves) from redang (which was fabulous!) isnt receding anytime soon and ive exhausted using my 3/4s already.

Note to self: Never again remove shoes while in cinema ---> remember glass sharpnel in foot incident.

Oh! 24th birthday was good. Went for massage with my grandma :) Wish my parents were physically present. We webcamed the whole 'party'. And took pictures. I cant wait for them to come home.

One year ago, I was struggling to complete my thesis. Goodness, that was a whole year ago. I One year on, Im facing a different sort of struggle. A struggle of identity. Who am I, really? What do I like? What don't I? It's THE transition, they say, which, if anything, leaves me feeling unnerved. Transition to what? What if I dont pick up the signs I'm supposed to act on? What if I'm not taking the right approach and changing such that I'll be set in my ways and too late to change thereafter? If this is the transition, shouldnt I be more worried about making the right choices? About analysing how everything would impact me before I become one of those rigid adults I fear myself to be?

I'm too harsh on myself, some say. I guess I am. But Im not one to take life as it comes. I need to be in control. I want to be in control of my own development. Which is why I've felt overwhelmed and at a lost at times since...

What drives me? What keeps Farah going? The 12th of every month, for sure. The evenings and weekends where I meet up with people, people from my past...who are a reassuring presence..comfortable...I can say or do anything stupid and they wont evaluate me because they know I'm just me.

It's true what they say. As you grow older, you make fewer friends. Instead, you cling on to the ones you've had history with because they remind you of who you were...who you still are, deep down.

Anyway, I think there's something wrong with me. I'm not as sharp as I used to be. My mind cant recall as well as it used to. Once upon a time, I could say I almost had a photographic memory. I remembered details, insignificant ones as well. Now? I was at the library yesterday trying to recall the author of a book I just read a couple of weeks back. Blank. Worse, I cant remember the title of the book. Fear gripped me. What is happening to me?

My body. My mind. My soul.

Najib's going off in a few hours time. I cant believe 3 months went by so quickly. He'll be back soon, though :) Meanwhile, dear friends must call me out ok?

Two things are keeping my spirits up though.

Guess what? I bought myself an ipod nano. Oh yeah. Perks of working. Plus gov give money so hehe. shiok man. 8 freaking gigs la!

AND im going Redang tomorrow with farhana. Woot! I cant wait to just lie down with a good book and my ipod plugged in. Ahhhh.....with the sea breeze, nice warm sun.....4 days 3 nights of bliss.

When I come back, I do hope to catch up with people so fit me into your busy schedules, ya?