Mojo-jojo

So I've finally snapped out of the slump I've been feeling at work of late.

I don't know how or why for sure, but I suspect it's because work is piling faster than I can mope (is this even a word?). Maybe I am one of those people who needs to be occupied to feel energised.

Yes, yes, I think I am.

Either way, :) long weekend!

They paved paradise to put up a parking lot

That's sg for you.

I'm so going to the railway station to eat mee siam before the gov takes over and opens it up to eager hands to build a mall. Or another condo.

After effects

~ of Glee: Bursting at my human seams (skin) to break out in song

~ of Gossip Girl: Want to be rich, limo-ed around and own a walk-in wardrobe

~ of Supernatural: Hunt demons. Salt circles anyone?

My weekend staple :)

So for the past 6-7 months, I was blinded by foolish admiration.

Was. Because a little incident happened and the human element has shattered things. Slowly, I see aspects I found awe-inspring ebbing and replaced by doubts, disbelieve and disdain.

Funny how easy the pedestal comes crumbling down the minute you find something to dislike.

Nonetheless, to err is human.

Lesson reinforced: Nobody's perfect. So see the flaws in others as part and parcel of their being. Appreciate them people, both good and bad.

Crossfire

What do you do when your boss disagrees with you and 'persuades' you to go with her option? Against your will, you do, but you feel terribly bad about it but hey, she's the boss and she's been around longer so maybe she knows if this is the best course of action. You are after all just a young fart.

And then you get a call from her boss who disagrees with this course of action and you find out that this bigger boss and you are actually on the same page.

But then, because you followed what your boss said, the bigger boss probably thinks you're the one who made that decision.

What do you do?

Let it go.

Because this happens everywhere. And if your boss is worth his/her salt, he/she would take accountability.

Learning point: Stand your ground next time.
From an optimistic point of view: At least you know a bit more about how the bigger boss thinks.

Rainy Monday

I shall start the day week with an incredibly BIG SMILE

:D

Echo

I have a strong need for sense of belonging and acceptance. Most people do, actually. This doesn’t mean I lack self-confidence or self-esteem. I think I have plenty of those. But I crave for human interaction and enjoy being involved, having my opinions heard and so on. It gives sense to existence. Otherwise, what is the point of my sentience?

So this week, and I suppose in days preceding, my heart and mind weaved in and out of loneliness, on 2 levels (i) being butt out of discussions (ii) lacking interaction with those on the same wavelength.

With regard to (i), well, that disappointment can be surmounted by reason. Those discussions are, technically, none of my business (i.e. KPI). It was nice that I was able to provide input the last time and damn, I felt I gave compelling and rich input but it’s time to bow out and focus on my own priorities. Don’t get me wrong, I love to do work beyond my JD but if certain persons feel I am no longer needed, then well, too bad (for them). No hard feelings. I have more time to myself.

Cue point (ii). Now, this one’s tough. I find it absolutely frustrating. What is maddening is my inability to articulate why without coming off as, well, a snob. Snotty. Pompous. Arrogant.
So as a qualifier, might I say that yes, having a worthy adversary (intellectually) would be wonderful, as, well, my brain would be jolted to be more critical and so forth and team discussions would be multi-dimensional/ more flavourful . But that’s not what I’m looking at per se. How about outside of meetings? I yearn for persons with similar wavelength with whom I can have easy conversations with and at the same time can switch it up. The past couple of months, it’s been flat. Like the calm ocean flat. Nice breezy calm waters flat. No peaks no troughs. Flat. Splat.

And I have moments of boredom, quite honestly. But I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I find myself looking elsewhere. People on other teams. Even the interns. I think it’s time to venture out. Never know what gems I could find.

Hello people with sama sama wavelength, come out come out wherever you are! Far wants to play.

Surprise!

I surprise myself. I honestly thought I was done blogging but strangely after typing out the last post, I've been having the urge to blog some more!

I have indeed set up a different account, and was pretty much set in using that platform to express my thoughts and opinions about serious grown up stuff. Topics I'm interested in to get the brain juice flowing.

But I miss writing like this. This is inevitably a part of who I am. Who am I kidding? So heh, I think I'm going to start blogging again. I'm bored. I need an outlet to just express myself. Write long sentences, that kinda stuff.

You know what I mean :)

Ode to thee, blog~

Hello you,

It's been a while, hasnt it? Happy new year to you too. I know, I know, it's already April.

Well, I havent had enough motivation to come by. And I suppose, now that im 25, I'm kinda getting a bit too old for this, yea?

Seriously, I think I've outgrown you. Reading my old posts gives me the creeps sometimes. Haha. Good times though. Good times.

What has it been? 5-6 years already? That's fast. Tell you what, I'll come and visit once in a while, to say hi.

I've moved, did I tell you that? But it's not the same. I'm experimenting with something a little more serious..to get the brain juices flowing a little.

Well, anyways, I'm out of here. Thanks for being here when I needed to talk/express myself.

You were and still are awesome.

Catch ya later bloggie! :)

Recap of the past few months.

Was miserable at work---> found new job--->went to Aussie for a holiday--->started new job--->am enjoying work!

In between, I've lost 6 kg from diet + exercise and aiming to lose more.

Feeling happier, healthier and enjoying life!

Yay :)

His demise, tragic. A star who shone so brightly till man tugged at the stardust and sapped the brilliance away. The star persisted. But it was too late.

Goodbye Michael Jackson. May people remember you for your amazing music.

You made me cry listening to Heal The World when I was in primary school.

And have fun rocking to Beat It on Guitar Heroes.

Sigh.

The first CD I listened to.

Heard he converted to Islam....wonder if its true.

Anyway, Inna-lillahi-wa-inna-illahi-rajiun.

I'm going to wax lyrical about star trek the movie. One of the BEST shows i've ever watched. It stayed true to the series. The script was brilliant. and the plot wasn't too complicated because the whole point was character development.. I'm pleased that they did this so well that i have a greater understanding of each beloved crew aboard the‭ enterprise. It's quite funny that the yummy chris pine would grow into william shatner tho. ha. ha.

And zachary quinto portrayed spock with such depth...and THE spock appeared! thought it.d be a short cameo so imagine my excitement that he had sufficient air time.

Heh,my favourite episode of the old series was when shatner,nimoy and the bones guy were marooned on some place and started singing 'row your boat'. remember that?

Aah,i'm so satisfied. well done. well done indeed. hope there's sequels to come!

I freaking hate work.

Does anybody out there really like what they're doing? I studied four freaking years to send emails. Wah. So exciting. Please. My brain is dying. Jolt me now.

I hate project management. People suck sometimes. Honestly.

What a banal existence. It's all about the money more like it.

Who the bloody hell gets fulfilment sending emails and coordinating stuff?

I freaking hate work. No meaning. No niche. I am dispensible. Anyone can do my job. I. am. not. needed.

Im not learning anything. 'Cept people are annoying and money is important.

Here's to the twelfth of every month!

This is my 660th post. And this isnt a happy one.

Ive been hobbling to get around as there's something wrong with my right foot. What exactly? I have no freaking idea. Sprain? Fracture? I dont know.

Dont you hate it when you have no control over your own body? For instance, what's causing you intense pain? Finding out what ailment you have gives you some control because then you'd know how to treat or manage it. But I dont even know what I have. I'm so freaking angry that the doctor I went to see last week refused to give me an x-ray. Doing so would have given me closure if it truly isn't a fracture. Why was he so insistent on not acceding to my request so much so that he said " clinically, there's nothing wrong with you". But if that's the case, why does it bloody hurt when i walk? I'm paying for it so why cant you just gimme the damn x-ray? Well, stuff my pain up yours, you pompous man. You have x-ray vision ah? Honestly, do some doctors have some god-complex issues or what?

Anyway, been having quite a temper lately.

I. Have. Mood. Issues.

And yet another 100 bucks, this time on shoes! :) Quite a deal, though. Two comfortable, cushion-y pairs for just under a hundred. Yay!

Walked by level one of the new mall. Whoa. Didnt realise I was still in tamp until I left the building and saw the interchange. Why would I ever move? We have everything here!

Note to self: Look good = feel good (even on rainy mondays)

I found a miracle pill that chases blocked nose away. Atarax. I used to be anti-pill popping cos I believed my body can heal itself with plenty of rest. Well, true. But little bitter pills help the body heal faster. Natural way good. Natural plus little boost is even better.

I've been holing up in bed since Friday night, ocassionally heading down to get food supply (cereal bars..no appetite). I feel slighty better now although all that lying down has made me light headed when standing. I tend to swerve to the left or to the right when walking. But I'm so glad the sore throat is gone. I hate sore throats. But it's a mandatory stage before the big ah-choo. Once the sneezes kick in, the soreness wanes.

Was thinking of hanging out by myself and getting fresh air. I havent done that in ages. Take a bus, take a nice walk around..and just be with myself. Oh, but the weather...grey clouds...I feel like just staying in bed and wrapping myself in blankets and watch dvds/movies. Work tomorrow. I'm so glad it was a long weekend to recuperate.

and of course,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY! :):):)

The prospect of working on a saturday morning sucks to the core. Context statement arose fr may have sparked the following thread though ive had it simmering in my head for quite some time already.

To do: Find a consistent commitment on Sat mornings (and afternoon if possible) so will remain untouchable henceforth. I would rather do a thousand things than to take freaking public transport to freaking other end of singapore on freaking saturday.

Criteria: Must be highly inflexible (i.e. cannot skip) so it is 1) valid 2) shows im really not skiving 3) shows i have a life outside work and thus can no longer be assumed that im easily available 4) makes me feel morally guilt-free cos its valid what. what to do?

Possibility: regular physiotherapy sessions or some gym things or classes.

Any suggestions, people?

Blisters are part of life, it's true. But lately, they've been a huge part of mine. Week after week, the abuse continues. My poor toes.

We miss slippers.

So I spent nearly $200 yesterday. $150 on clothes and the rest on food. I wanted to shop and I wanted to splurge but why did I feel so conflicted on my way home then and feel uneasy still? Two possibilities:

1. I regret buying two black dresses that are work-ish
2. I didnt get to buy that black dress from zara (for going out)

The more i think about it, the more I want that darn zara dress. But that would make 3 black dresses. But its so pretty..and comfy..and I want it. But where am i going to wear it to? But a girl can live with more dresses than she needs, right? I mean one can always keep in case an event crops up...and ta-da! Dress available. Hmm. Should I? Should I? (Yx is probably sick of me vacillating). Maybe I should wait it out. If im still feeling unsatiated by next weekend, Im going to get it. Oh yeah.

I have turned into a consumerist.

On a separate note, it's been a fabulous workless weekend! Pity the weather is crazy. So hot yesterday and now it's overcast. Might go for a short run in a bit. I signed up for 10k run (I know, what was i thinking after injuring myself last year training for it) and that's going to happen May 24. Heh, leaves me over a month to stop gorging self on junk and start lacing up those running shoes. I have resolved not to overtrain like before. Nice, slow jogs..thats all :) Wish me luck.