When you're looking out for policy updates regarding housing, that's when you know, you're growing up.

Why, hello

I've been well, thank you. I've just settled into my new temporary office on the fifth floor. Shifting process was terrible as I had to pack intermittenly when I'd much rather just do it all at one go. But it's done. Actually, I never finished packing. When the movers came, I simply chucked all the clutter from my table into a box and got em to wheel it up. No point sealing since I'll be using them immediately anyways.

So the office I'm at is way better than the others got. Thank God I'm not squatting in confined spaces, having to worry that someone's looking over my shoulder and at my computer screen. We're at the new office for another dept. So when our office is done, they move in. I love my cosy cube. I'm tucked away in a corner (where no one can see me) against the window :) The sun rays pore through in the morning so what a brilliant way to start the day. And, my boss seats diagonal from me, so when I need to check in with her, I just need to stretch my neck out and talk. Well, some people might hate that but I'm ok with seating near her, though sometimes, I do get asked to do things...but not as if I wont get asked if I had been sitting further.

It's the fasting month now. Not sure if this is the reason behind my lethargy. I doubt it because fasting has never been cumbersome for me. I think it's a lack of exercise. I really do think a long hiatus from physical activity would make people feel sluggish. So I went for my cardio-mix during lunch yesterday. Boy, was that a challenge. But I do feel slightly better today. I like feeling my muscles tighten and sore. It's like woo-hoo, I'm alive.

Speaking of which, have I mentioned I signed up for the stand chart marathon? 10 k on 5 Dec. I havent exactly trained. I think I should start running soon. Hopefully I'll have enough time to do so cos I'm probably going to be away from mid-Nov. Going to Washington for a conference and praying my leave is approved so I can go to NY thereafter. I have never been to the US, and the only image I have of the counrty is what I see on tv. Heh. Time to experience the real thing, eh? Like how I heard that people there are fatter than on tv. (yay! i can feel skinny for once).

Well, anyway, it's 9.48am and I really should be doing work. Blogging is my outlet for procrastinating. I have stuff to do but I dont want to do it but it must be done.

Oh bother. But that's why I put on eye-shadow today. Sometimes, it's the little things that get you to work...like a new perfume or a new pen. Yep, a new pen. Today's eye shadow cos it's glittery. Is it working? Nope. Not at all. Maybe I should get a pen. Or a new screensaver/wallpaper.

Hmm. Ok I'm off! Bye :)

Echo

I have a strong need for sense of belonging and acceptance. Most people do, actually. This doesn’t mean I lack self-confidence or self-esteem. I think I have plenty of those. But I crave for human interaction and enjoy being involved, having my opinions heard and so on. It gives sense to existence. Otherwise, what is the point of my sentience?

So this week, and I suppose in days preceding, my heart and mind weaved in and out of loneliness, on 2 levels (i) being butt out of discussions (ii) lacking interaction with those on the same wavelength.

With regard to (i), well, that disappointment can be surmounted by reason. Those discussions are, technically, none of my business (i.e. KPI). It was nice that I was able to provide input the last time and damn, I felt I gave compelling and rich input but it’s time to bow out and focus on my own priorities. Don’t get me wrong, I love to do work beyond my JD but if certain persons feel I am no longer needed, then well, too bad (for them). No hard feelings. I have more time to myself.

Cue point (ii). Now, this one’s tough. I find it absolutely frustrating. What is maddening is my inability to articulate why without coming off as, well, a snob. Snotty. Pompous. Arrogant.
So as a qualifier, might I say that yes, having a worthy adversary (intellectually) would be wonderful, as, well, my brain would be jolted to be more critical and so forth and team discussions would be multi-dimensional/ more flavourful . But that’s not what I’m looking at per se. How about outside of meetings? I yearn for persons with similar wavelength with whom I can have easy conversations with and at the same time can switch it up. The past couple of months, it’s been flat. Like the calm ocean flat. Nice breezy calm waters flat. No peaks no troughs. Flat. Splat.

And I have moments of boredom, quite honestly. But I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I find myself looking elsewhere. People on other teams. Even the interns. I think it’s time to venture out. Never know what gems I could find.

Hello people with sama sama wavelength, come out come out wherever you are! Far wants to play.

Surprise!

I surprise myself. I honestly thought I was done blogging but strangely after typing out the last post, I've been having the urge to blog some more!

I have indeed set up a different account, and was pretty much set in using that platform to express my thoughts and opinions about serious grown up stuff. Topics I'm interested in to get the brain juice flowing.

But I miss writing like this. This is inevitably a part of who I am. Who am I kidding? So heh, I think I'm going to start blogging again. I'm bored. I need an outlet to just express myself. Write long sentences, that kinda stuff.

You know what I mean :)

I can't believe it's finally done. After months of resistance and putting it off, I have changed my blog skin. You see, over the holidays, I've been searching for skins which are simple, clean and pleasant-looking. I came across a few but they were either too complicated, too teenage-y. And when I did find something vaguely 'me', I encountered problems fitting html codes into the new skin. So I gave up. Then ever since I started working, I just couldnt be bothered. And I guess in some way, it affected my mood to blog.

So I'm excited now because I was just looking at blogger's selection of skins and without much thought, I clicked this one and wham! It's done! And Im loving it :) Simple. Clean. Green. I've decided not to keep the tagboard because people hardly tag and pop-ups keep appearing. So do leave a comment instead, ya? :)

And I've been doing a little thinking. I know that my previous posts seem to indicate that Im not finding a sense of fulfillment in my new job. That is still, alas, true. But the sheer fact that I am employed leaves me grateful. And it's timely that I got reminded that I cant have everything. This is my first job and Im only into my first month or so. I shall give it time. Insha-Allah, i will find meaning in what Im doing. Meanwhile, i shall take things in stride and learn as much as I can.

Whee~ Changing blogskin is therapeutic. It's like buying a new and pretty notebook and itching to write in it :)