Baba

Dear friends,

My grandma passed away yesterday.
She was 90
She was strong
She is/was the gentlest lady ever
My Baba

I cant bring myself to type anymore w/o tearing (already am)

Not gonna blog further about this.

Inna lillahi wa inna illahi rajiun.

Allahhuakhbar.

PS: Life on earth is only a transitory period. I think that in some sense, this has been a painful reminder that i shouldnt be completely immersed with my "worldly affairs". I had forgotten that death comes to us all. Inevitably. And we will be judged upon what we have done in this world. So as we go about doing what we do, i think it is wise to humble ourselves with the knowledge that in death, our achievements and merits (grades, career and everything material) will not matter. But it is our deeds, our actions, and our sins that would.

Life (or a lack of it)

Monday. School. Bleugh.

Actually, today wasnt that bad...except this morn when i got my french test back *mutter mutter* It isnt that bad lah. But I expect more of myself. Film was okay. Stats proposal approved. So yeah.

Anyway,

Had an interesting question thrown at me over lunch by su teck.

Suteck: So farah, besides academic stuff, what do you do during your free time? (ie hobby)
Me: Blank. Blink. blink.

Note to self: Get a hobby, woman. Sheesh.

Another level

So yesterday, after much anticipation, my darling and I went to Seoul Garden and pigged out.

You see, Najib didnt have much faith in my eating abilities. i.e. he thought that i was the kinda girls who'd eat a little and feel full. He even went on to say that "we're not ready...our relationship hasnt reached that level".

I say, bring it on.

And so we did. Hehehehheh. I WON!! (and theres no way you can say you gave me face cos puhlease..you looked so pained!!)

I, yes I, was the last one standing(eating) as he raised his white flag (his white wet towel seoul garden provided by seoul garden)

Muahahhahah.

But i must say lah, i cant fault him. The food kinda got boring after a while. We tried almost everything on display that after nearly 4 hours there, we basically had nothing to eat .Nor the appetite to cos everthing tasted the same.

So we left seoul garden with bulging tummies, nauseated. Urgh.

Walked all the way home. Which was great cos at least we exercised and felt better.

Man, can you imagine feeling so bleeping full that you find it difficult to walk, and talk at the same time? Hahhahahah.

Ahh...what a day/night.

Mommy!! Its over!!

Cant believe term break ends today. In fact, some friends have school today. Poor things.

Still, what have i done this term break? na-da. zilch. zero. kosong.
Note to self: Do not read Eugene's blog unless youve had a productive day.

On the other hand, as ive mentioned earlier, this week has served as a "refresher" week for me. Not that i deserved it in the first place. But i guess what this means is that i'll have to work doubly hard till the cows come home and become beef. (Sobs)

Also, it will be scary going back to school. I'll be getting back most of my assignments. Will be getting back my film project, french test and the stats proposal. Then OH MY GOD....i have A STATS MID TERM TEST ON WED!!!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

And i have a SS term paper due 15 oct
And a film essay due 31 Oct.
And a french oral in 2 weeks time
And tonnes of french hmk due this week
And a stats lab assignment...
And i havent printed out all my unprinted lect notes. ARGH.

Panic. Panic. PANIC!!

Blast from the past

Its kinda funny, looking back at old photographs. The memories; "gosh, i was that fat?!" to "oh my gosh, im fatter now" to "what was i thinking wearing that?!" Ahh. Memories. Coincidentally, i wasnt the only one reminisicing about the Dunman days. haha. Briony, thank you so much for letting me read what i wrote 4 years ago...wow. I amaze myself. Cringe.
Here's what she blogged:

An autographed entry
Before I left Dunman secondary, I passed around an autograph book for my classmates to fill.I've decided to put up a particular entry because
1) It's flattering - to a certain extent
2) The person who wrote it reads my blog
3) The person has a sense of humour
4) I wanna prove a point to her.. I HAVEN'T LOST MY AUTOGRAPH BOOK. (Read on to understand the reason to my capitalised sentence.)

First page:WELCOME.....Foolish Mortal!Muah.. Ha..Ha...Enter at your OWN risk!!!Muah. Ha! Ha!*But remember.....Curiosity killed the cat!!Hahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahaha...................

2nd page:So I see.... I see you have not heeded my warning! Fine for thou shalt suffer a fate worse than any man can ever imagine..... to read a pathetic entry by the one called F***H THE GREAT! (suspense music) Ha! Ha! HA! Yes.... you bumbling moron.... you have started reading... the curse is initiated!!! (Suspense music again) Don't quiver now... it's too late... thou's impending doom awaits!!! (Music again..... Gawd, this is getting stupid.) What is thou mumbling under thou breath? Thou does not believe in the curse that has been passed down for a zillion years? Hohoho.... you foolish, foolish imbecile!! Just you wait and see.... you'd be honkering page after page... but it isn't you... it's your fingers, your brains that will control you!!!! Soon you'd be too absorbed by the entry that slowly... slowly..... ha! Ha! Ha! HA!........

3rd page:*A lot of words telling me that no curse actually exists*She then continues: I'm gonna use up a lot of pages. So sorry.. but den again.... who cares? I want yer to remember me so I must write a lot.... right? Oh well... here goes nothing....

4th page:*Adding her personal details and answering the questions that I posed at the start of the book*

Q: If you had a million, what would you do?
A: I'd buy Briony a big house..... as if! Nah I'm buy loads of stuff for everyone.

Q: What is the one thing that really angers you?
A: Hypocrisy, negligence, irresponsibility, selfishness.... I could go on forever. (Really)

Q: 1st thing you notice about the opposite sex?
A: The way he walks, talks, eyes, hair.... the whole package basically. (yep)

Q: Would you want me to design your wedding dress?
A: Yep I'd be glad to have you as my designer.... Free hor!

Q: Do you find yourself the smartest, most beautiful person in the world?
A: I AM A GENIUS.... really! Just need to bring that brain out of my arse. I AM ALSO THE MOST BEAUTIFUL LADY THAT EVER EXISTED.

Q: What is the one nightmare that haunts you day and night?
A: Not having any fun people to tok to. Being around pple who have absolutely no sense of humour. I'd die.

Q: Anything worth remembering?
A: Meeting Briony and tormenting her school life in class.

Q: If you were to meet your idol, how would you prepare?
A: I am my own idol, so I'm pretty prepared.

Q: If there's one thing you'd like to change about yourself, what would it be?
A: Nahuh..... I LOVE MYSELF too much.

Q: Would you dye your hair pink?
A: ARE YOU MAD? Perhaps in another country but here? Pple are too judgemental and besides, I might get arrested!

5th page:Ok..... So I'm not done yet.... I promise, this is the last page... I got to finish my homework anyway!! hey you know what? As I'm writing this I wonder if this book will ever be lost! I mean you're so forgetful, I won't be surprised if you lose this... you'd better not though!! I've put in a lot of effort just for you!!! Hmph!!!Dearest Briony... you smart, funny, clumsy, forgetful person... my dear dear friend/buddy. Thanks for making my life in 4A a real blast... you're so goofy(That's a compliment) and funny that sometimes I look forward to school to 'play' with you! Be it talking about world issues, feminism(Did we?), singing practically nonsense, poking, beating the crap outta each other juz coz we feel the itch to do it.... ok...ok... that's mainly me but you get the idea.... I don't wanna flatter you too much or else your ego will be twice the size of your butt! Talking about butts, I think you should stop worrying about it unless you're scared it'll fall off.... (huh?) well well... I hope we stay in touch with each other ... in fact we must! you're really one nice person a gal can talk with..... I mean serious issues here!! you can be a debater you know! Or a poilitcal correspondant for the Straits Times/Newsweek. blabla.... it's really mentally stimulating to have a conversation with you!! That's really great coz not many pple can connect with me and my odd sense of humour. Thanks for being patient with my annoying alter ego!! I hope we remain friends forever. Go call me.....

Oh yes!! Don't forget I'm supposed to be your maid of honour!! better remember. you promised!


(CRINGE....did i really write all that Briony?)

Handover!

Yes, yet another dinner by SWAPS. When i told my sis that i was gonna be having a handover dinner by SWAPS she went like "AGAIN??" Well, not really what......ok lah, granted, I have been attending quite a number of swaps events even though ive stepped down.

Hey, but last night was a free dinner at a vegetarian indian restaurant called the Ganges at Peninsular Plaza...so why not? Plus, the 19th com gave us really nice gifts: A tiny scroll of appreciation and this wooden frame, with a small mirror in its centre and with our names written below it, and a finger puppet attached to it. :) Thanks guys! Could really see the effort you guys put in! :)

I went home yesterday cos well, the others were thinking of clubbing. Haiya, clubbing just isnt my thing. Quite frankly, Im scared to even step into one....i guess its cos my dad kept drilling into my head the bads of going to clubs.So naturally, i'd think that only "budak jahat" would go, drink, dance and well, get into trouble. I mean, i know my friends who go clubbing arent "budak jahats" but still, i guess i just cant shake that mentality off. Besides, i mean, i dont drink. I dont dance. I cant stand loud music. And i dont know why but when i think of clubs, i think of dark, dingy places. Eek. Maybe one day, i might have a look but yeah, anyway, I firmly believe that there are better ways to have fun.

Besides, i think if i were to stay out later than 12, my dad will panic. Haha. :)

Cant believe term break ends today. Havent done ANYTHING productive. Ah well, i shall treat this as "Recharge Week". After all, ive been sleeping for about 10 hours a day. Such luxury. :) But still, im a bit perplexed. Why do i look so tired when im not? I mean, i was looking at the photos i took yesterday during the dinner. How come everyone else seemed so radiant and i look so darn dull and tired? Gargh. I look so worn out. When its soooo not true. Hmm. Maybe i need to exercise more or smt. Anyone has any brilliant idea????

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Something is terribly wrong with me.

I woke up this morn (ie 1/2 hour ago) thinking its DECEMBER.

What the heck? I felt bliss. Like theres nothing to do...

WHEN ITS MID SEM BREAK AND IVE GOT TONNES OF THINGS TO DO!!!

I think my body and mind's in denial.

Someone, jolt me. Awake me from this lie I live....i mean december??!

Wasted!!!!

Just got back from IMH (Institute of Mental Health) as part of my abnormal psychology module requirement. I must say, that when i first stepped into the compound, i was really impressed. The place looks like a resort...and it didnt have that icky clinical feeling most hospitals would. :)

Anyway, i just broke my fast. But im not happy. Cos its like less than 2 hours before the official "break fast" time...but i discovered that my fast couldnt be counted cos i just got my period. GARGH. What a waste!!!! Like 2 hours more lah.

Oh well. At least i know i can survive once Ramadan arrives yet again. Yup guys, the fasting month officially starts on either e 3rd or 4th of October so yeah, Farah and her muslim friends wouldnt be able to eat nor drink for one month. :)

So why was i fasting today? Cos i owe certain number of days..and i gotta pay em back before fasting month. Yeah...Hope i can repay em in time....

Alright..im gonna eat now.

Still, 2 hours more. What a waste.

I wanna dance too!

Dance Reflection was awesome. Simply fantastic. Better than i expected quite frankly..and i thoroughly enjoyed myself! I mean, i dont usually go for dance perfomances but wah. Damn nice.

Hey cheryl, saw you dancing for the first time! Never knew you were good! :) So so proud of you! All that effort really paid off. Yeah, dance synergy was great. I loved the lighting and all too. I think it was apt to put your item first and Dance blast last. So at least the audience feel alive before and alive at the end. And Dance Blast was good man (though i wonder how come they wear such little pieces of cloth). Dance ensemble not bad too...they did this whirling thingy that i thought was kinda cool.

I must say, after watching them dance, i have new found respect for dancers. Cant really explain why but ya. And heh, how come you all look so hot on stage??????? And how come the guys are like always clad in their undies? Hahahahahha....wah, those guys can really really shake it...Never knew NUS had so many good dancers.

Yeah, i was so inspired to join dance...when i realised that dancers are slim, lean, fit and all.....NOT. hahahhahah....my hopes revived when i saw one of the dancers (you know which cheryl). hahhahah. Still, i wouldnt want to be caught prancing on stage with relatively few clothing (definitely less than i would want to) So malu lah. I cant make it anyway. Two left feet. And a back problem.

You guys should have watched dance reflections man. :)

BREAK!! wohoooo!

Its mid-sem break like finally!

Been a hectic week so yea, didnt blog...couldnt afford to cos i had so much work/datelines...

Phew.

Nice hot saturday. Am gg to watch Cheryl perform later at 7.30pm.

I think im gonna get ready soon.

:)

Yesterdays' post cos i got d/c

Wheeeeeeeeekend! Finally. Ahh...

Had an eventful day today. Had our stats project group meeting and im pretty impressed that we got to the crunch pretty quick. Progress! Ahh. :)

Then received a compliment. Apparently, Elaine wants to dress like me cos she claims I look smart. hahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha...thanks justina for relaying this to me... Yes, yes, my inflated ego..hahhaha...though Kim was rather startled by it. She thinks red is retro. Like huh? Hahhaha.

Then, i started on my stats hmk 2 which is due next fri. I havent completed it but hey, at least ive started.

Then i embarked on my first task as a journalist for The Ridge. We're doing a expose(ex-po-say..i cant seem to find the accent. Gargh) on the various coffee houses on campus. So armed with our media passes, we (me and clara, this year 1 law student) literally WALKED around campus in search of the best coffee available to deprived caffeine addicts in the guise of a student. (Eugene and yunxian..thats you) Hahaha...wont tell you our findings..look out for it in The Ridge (provided it meets the editor's standard). I must say, i thoroughly enjoyed myself...i mean we got free coffee, no questions asked when we showed our Press passes. The perks of being a journalist eh?

Oh ya, next time youre at clementi mrt station, watch out for dropping lizards. Shudders.

Yesterday was 3 months. Had dinner..watched Marche de L'empereur. Nice shows.....Baby penguins are soooo cute. I want one. hahaha....

I got a pretty plush flower! Thanks nudgie :)

Wed's whine.

Research Qn: Does mood experienced in the morning affect your mood later in the day?

Hypothesis: Mood experienced in the first few hours of consciousness would determine mood for the rest of the day.

Confounds: I have no idea..one too many.

Basis for research: Im (henceforth subject) in the mood for some catharsis (is that how you spell it)

First and foremost, subject reports feeling irritable on the journey to school.We are now going to follow subjects' emotional levels of the day.

Subject reports that her mood in the morning was sparked off by an unreplied sms. She also arrived in the lecture theatre early and sat alone. Subject reported feeling dejected. Subject's mood altered drastically to become positive when she realised her friend had not received her sms and when her friends sat beside her. Subject reports tendency to feel lonely when not surrounded by people. Condition is certified mild.

Subject's mood elevated futher upon intake of food. After completing a meeting with her CCA as a journalist, subject attempted to read her notes. She reports a lack of concentration and increasing irritability again when she wasnt able to absorb what she read.

Subject reports being able to smoother/placate her anger/irritability by focusing her energy on the fact that she was going to go out with someone later in the day.

Subject reports that by this time of the day, around 3pm, her mood was normal. She displayed chatty self. Around 3+, she reports her mood became negative. She felt disappointed that what she had been looking forward to the whole day (even the day before) didnt materialise due to unforseen circumstances. She reports trying to reason her emotions and rationalise that the other party shouldnt be at fault. Subject reports an inner conflict of emotions. She wants her friend to be happy yet at the same time, she felt upset that her friend was enjoying self. Upon feeling upset, her guilt set in. She felt guilty for being upset that her friend was happy. She reports feeling lousy and selfish. Self esteem plundered.

Subject tried to study as she had brought along a heavy bag filled with books. She went to the central library alone for two hours yet could not focus at all. Subject felt frustrated and wanted to scream as she had wasted yet another day. Monday was too tiring for her to study. Tuesday was burnt. Now wednesday. Subject kept thinking of upcoming datelines and reports feeling very anxious.

Subject decided to go home with friends. Subject reported having mood elevated again due to her chatty friends who unknowingly cheered her up. Food intake was also reported.

Subject reported feeling throbbing temples on her journey home alone. The bus was late and she felt powerless as precious minutes slips by her. She attributes this headache not to physical but mental concerns.

Subject feels better after typing this report.

Conclusion: The hypothesis that mood experienced in the first few hours of consciousness would determine mood for the rest of the day is not true. Subject experienced a myriad of emotions. Interestingly, mood at beginning of the day and at the end were identical. To do a follow up test? Perhaps. Also, note that subject have not had a good sleep record over the past few days. Irritability could hence be attributed to this. Subject is diagnosed with mild case of anxiety and needs to be around people.

Subject is tired but feels that she has to do a lot of work or she would not catch up.

Or, subject should get a good night's sleep and resume studying in a clear frame of mind.


DISCLAIMER: this "experiment" is purely based on my life. I have mixed stats and abnormal psych togther.This IS NOT how one should write a proper stats report nor abnormal psych report.

My monday.

Okay, kinda had a jam packed day actually. Didnt notice it until i reflected a little about what i did today.

Had french lecture this morn from 10-12.....i FINALLY understand how you differentiate the form l'imperatif from conditionelle present. Sheesh. Its actually the verb, conjugated the way one usually does for futur tense, and then add an "i" between certain letters. Yay.

Then, had a meeting with my fellow Lifestyle writers and Im gonna be covering a story on where to get the best coffee on campus! Its gonna be interesting..will be sampling coffee on wed before SS lect (how apt) Speaking of SS, im way behind in the readings. The sub editor (henceforth boss) kinda gave us a low down on our jobscope..so far so good. :)

Anyway, then had stats tutorial from 2-4pm and bleaurgh. I felt incredibly dumb...and im STILL confused between main effect, interaction and simple main effect and when to employ which. And i noticed something...there's 2 IVs right? Then how come during tut he kept mentioning smt about DV...where's the DV on our graphs?? HUH?!!!
Speaking of stats, im so so worried cos the proposal is due on wed...and the only time all 5 members can come together would be fri..gosh.

Film and history was at 4pm....watched Memento.Great show. You guys should watch it. I found it kinda disturbing..I shall save the review for my discussion forum. No need to replicate stuff eh?. Then i got back my first film essay..that i devoted so much time on..and i must say..it paid off :) :) :) Yay!!! Alhamdulillah. :)

Then after film, SWAPS had a birthday celebration for the Sept babies! Happy bdae, Justina, liangcai and joanna! :) And kudos to Linyen and Suteck and whoever organised the party! Was great! Steamboat and all..

And im so proud of myself..i didnt eat the chocolate banana cake everyone insisted was darn nice! Heehhehe (pat self on back)

Realise next week is the week of DEADLINES.
Mon=French test 1 and article for Ridge
Wed= stats 2 proposal
Fri= Film project 2 and stats hmk 2.

Oh dear. oh dear. oh dear.

And whoa...am tired..came home at ard 10.45pm..havent been home this late from school much these days..wonder how i did it last sem. Or was it the sem before? Madness. Ah well, i shall not sleep till i get some work/reading done..abnormal psych...maybe i shall read myself to sleep...but the book is darn heavy. Ah well, shall see how.

oh yes, run i did.

Went running with my darling to pasir ris park last night. Thought i did horribly but he kept insisting I was running ok. How I love him! Hahhaha :)

Yup. Well, at least i got off my butt and ran so im proud of myself. Yay. (applause please)

And im going on a chocolate fast. Shall not be consuming anything chocolate till my bro's birthday. Ive been snacking too much. Oh, but Kit kat chunky peanut butter is simply delicious.

Argh. its gonna be a hectic week too. Im already behind in class and im frantically trying to catch up. Can. CAN DO!

Must stay positive...and i must say, after that run yesterday, i feel that i can focus better.
So exercise IS good for your mental health too :)

Keep me away from chocolates!

Advertisement for a friend

Alright to all you people who simply love watching dance performances or who have never been to one or who simply have nothing to do over the weekend!

Do come down for Dance Reflection at NUS UCC (university cultural centre), on the 16th or 17th Sept, 7.30 pm. Tix are sold at $10,12 or 15 each. I reckon you can get you tix from Cheryl Lee...or you can tell me then i'll relay it to her..otherwise, you could also try SISTIC.

Acc to cheryl, DR is a collaboration of 6 dance groups-chinese dance, dance blast, dance synergy, ilsa tari and indian dance. Yup.

So come if you want :)


PS: cheryl, am i gonna get paid for this online ad? hahha :)

Thoughts..insecurities..

Am i really ready? Am i doing things right? Am i doing my part?

How do i make sure my relationship last? Have i been doing the right thing? Am i a gd gf? Ive asked friends for advice and in sum, they've told me to

1) Give him space
2) compromise, give and take
3) be patient
4) communicate
5) be understanding
6) not think of the end cos if you keep thinking it, it will come
7) relish every moment

Dont get me wrong, things are going on splendidly.Ive asked him about it and he keeps saying how he's never been more happy and bla bla bla but im beginning to wonder if he can tolerate my crap in the long run. Quite frankly, i dont think ive been fulfilling the above. I mean, i feel sometimes that i take too much....but i cant help it. How do i give? How?? I want to but i dont know how. Or am i already doing it? He hasnt been giving me any negative feedback..so is that good? Am i thinking too much? I so do not wanna screw this up...

My friend sums it up the best....

He said that certain times we hope a lot for something but dont receive it in a way we want it to be, then we get disappointed and take things out at each other.shit happens...
but at the end of the day...must communicate,talk and be transparent abt each other's feelings....

Oh dear lord. How? I concede, i am like that! I cant help it...ive been like that since young! Even my mom said so. She said that whenever she takes me out and when i see something i like and want, i would kick up a fuss if i dont get it. The thing is, i dont kick up a fuss (ie cry) but i think im an emotional bully. I hang my head down in shame. Its true. I think i am. I am a self centred person!

I have no idea why im typing all this at 1.30 in the morning.

No, im not insomniac. Am concurrently chatting with Winston, farhana and nadeem..mini sec 4A gathering! :)

Friday!! At long last!

Amazingly, I managed to pluck up enough courage to submit my stats hmk. Cant believe i've been fretting over it for days when its only homework. Fine, homework that will cost me 5 marks out of my total marks for exams. Whatever. Its done. I think i did my best. Thank you Justina for submitting it for me today cos its my FREE day! Wheee~ Weekends are here at last!!

Met up with Adeline, Jeannie, Xiaowen, Nirwan and later Melinda on Wednesday. Had a yummy dinner but i had to leave early cos i had datelines. Bah. I miss 02a53 sooooooo much. In fact, if you guys are reading this, I've already asked Ms goh if she's available next week to meet up before ade leaves. She said she'll try her best so yea. It would be great if we could get the whole class down or something...How's next Wed? 7th Sept? or even sat 10th sept? I guess it all depends on when ade is free right? I havent met up with amy, ave, joyce, alina and susian and angela and vemalan and chris and kit and norman and ian and huiboon(where is huiboon anyway?) for a long time leh..I miss all of you!

Oh yeah, I went for an interview to be a journalist for one of the NUS publication and I got in. It's called The Ridge and Im gonna be writing for the Lifestyle section. Why did i decide to join in? Cos ive never really been behind the scenes of any publication..so im hoping this would be an eye opening experience..exposure to journalism perhaps? I just hope I dont suck at it. Haha.

I am so so so so so proud of my darling. He's had a great week! And the thing is, he's been so humble about it and all..i guess i'll be the one who has to blow the trumpet for him! What? Im just so so so proud of him!! He got gold for his IPPT right? Then he came in 2nd in his entire company (or is it platoon? whats e diff) for the obstacle course thingy...then his platoon (or company..again, whats the diff) got 3rd place for some drill competition....and he's one of 4 recruits nominated for some award to be given out to the best recruit or smt like that! :) I hope he wins. hehe..

Oh yeah, he's booking out early tmr (8am), passing out on tues and then he'll be free for the next 2 weeks or so till he gets his posting! :) :) :)

stinky!

Sat beside a stinky ah pek on the MRT. I know i know..its not nice to say such things but its true!!!!! My goodness! I was suffering! I mean he squeezed into this seat beside me and somehow manage to "dominate" and sandwich me against the other person to my left. YUCK. He just smells lah. Thank goodness he alighted at outram park. My gosh. Im soo gonna scrub myself. Call me obsessive compulsive. Like i care. Then again, i too, might stink. I mean stinking is a very weird thing. You'll never be aware that you stink unless someone tells you..its like youre too immersed in your scent that you dont notice. Heh, perhaps that ah pek thought I stink.
Ah well. stinkiness is in the nose of the be-smeller.

In any case, discovered that one of my friends' dropping out from school. I was like lost for words when i called her to ask if she was saving a seat for me for Film N hist lect...then she said that she wasnt coming and i was like why? and then she dropped the bombshell. Whoa. Didnt know what to say....i heard that she's been thru a lot..whatever it is, i just hope she's happier.

I need to buck up. Need to start mugging. Perhaps i should retreat to the lib? Nah, i think not. I mean, now that i end classses kinda early.. mostly 4pm except mon when i end at abt 7 and fris cos im off....there isnt a need to mug in school...this sem, im gonna try studying at home.

TRY. geddit? hahha

and my darling is POP-ing next tues!! yay!! Im kinda happy....cos he's gonna be like off for 2 weeks or smt...but...er...im also kinda worried....cos i'll be having school and well, face it, he'll distract me!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!! I'd wanna be with him all the time because i know i can! Boo.
Must have self-discipline! Anyway, he got gold for IPPT today..so proud of him (mental note to self: start running farah, you lazy bum...)

Oooh, finally back in contact with one of my best guy friends :) Hello winstonne!! (waves excitedly) hehhehehe. Blanja me!!

Sarcastic or what? Tsk tsk

My gosh...i was reading the student events bulletins on IVLE (for non NUS students, its kinda like an intranet system and all the students modules and bla bla bla are there....) and i chanced upon something really interesting...such audacity on the part of that student!!!

Student Events
Event Title:
Free Bookbags, Jackets, Accessories...etc
Organizer:
Michael Hendricks
Description:
Over the next week, kindhearted NUS students will be donating their possessions to whoever wants them! Just visit any canteen during peak lunch hours. The student donors will leave bookbags and other personal belongings on unoccupied tables. These items are free for anyone to take! After taking something, leave promptly to allow others a chance to play the canteen "lucky dip."
Date/Time:
Every Monday to Friday 11:30am-1:00pm
Venue:
Arts, Business, Science, and Engineering Canteens
Price:
FREE!

I mean, dude, isnt it wrong for you to posts things like that? Im amazed the peeps in charge of IVLE events posting hasnt done anything! I mean, its kinda funny lah..cos its true, students tend to leave their bags on the chairs...but thats cos theyre Q-ing up for food what!!! But i do fine it kinda insulting to emphasise FREE...like youre making fun of us and generalising the kiasu mentality to the entire student population! Not happy ah? Go HOME lor.

Sheesh. To think i really thought theyre was gonna be like a garage sale or something. Feel so cheated.

Beautiful evening

So nice and breezy yet sunny at the same time...ahhh...

Slept till nearly 1pm today cos i was up last night tweeking my film N hist essay. Honestly, I think i put too much time into this. Realise that if i keep at this, i wont have time for my other modules. Im already behind in psych and ss..and im abt to lag in french if i dont do something! Can you believe in 2 weeks time, i'll be having mid sem break already? know what that means? My finals are coming up!!! So scary. (Nervous laughter)

But alas, its such a nice evening to do anything...wanted to jog but oh, the inertia...and my back problem. Why aggravate it? I'll go tmr...

Oh darn. I cant..cos ive got internal elections till evening and then i'll be meeting my darling (finally) ..hmm. Guess i'll jog tmr morn then? Heh, IF i can wake up. Hahhah...or evening?

Whatever lah. I'll run when i want to!

:)

PS: i think my student is getting smarter than me. Darn. stress.

A mon avis..(in my opinion)

And the title for discussion today is, "what do you do when someone stands up for you and now both are getting attacked by people?"

Ade, ive decided to post it instead cos i highly doubt my tag board would be sufficient. But i do have to say that since i dont really know much about your situation, my advice would be rather general...okie?

I guess, first things first. You've gotta take a step back and evaluate what you're standing up for in the first place that you're being attacked by people. Is it unfounded? Or could there be some truth?

Next, ask yourself, is it worth it to drag the other party, presumably your friend, into it?

I guess if both of you are definitely sure about whatever it is that you guys are for, then i guess you could both seek support from each other....

I mean, its best to resolve issues cordially (ie with the ppl attacking you)...im really running on nothing here cos i dont know whats going on...yeah..

I hope ive helped someway or the other..if there's anything i can do, im here okie :)

A tribute to SWAPS 18th exco

As i stepped down today, a few hours ago, I was filled with mixed emotions. I was partly glad that my term has finally come to a close yet at the same time, I couldnt help feeling sad.....

I remember exactly one year ago, i was a wide-eyed freshie...filled with hopes of joining this wonderful swaps family...plus, i knew most of the ppl running..it would be fun! And, i mean ive been in leadership positions before..no sweat.... :)

But then, as time went on, and particularly in sem 2, at times, i wondered and cursed myself for running without even considering what i was getting myself into..what, with all the workload of school, family and then the pressure i exerted on myself..my expectations...

I used to think i was a great leader....a strong one at that...but serving my term, i realise now that i have my faults. My flaws...and the realisation was not something i could swallow easily....

Bitter bitter that i shamefully admit to shunning the table....i guess i was burnt out. And as the society got into heavy discussions about the future of swaps, i wasnt really into it anymore...

But then, i guess like everything else, things start to get sweet again....bittersweet...the strong feelings i had for swaps burned yet again...and during the AGM, i could feel my passion gushing thru my veins. Esp when we sorta came under attack...

In any case, as i reflected on what we have accomplised, after looking at our annual report, i realised that the 18th exco really have done a lot....great work guys. :)

I would like, as my title for this post imply, to say a few mentions about each member of the exco....

Gene: (president) Thank you so much, gene, for everything...for being a wonderful and admirable leader...and a friend...you were the first swaps and uni friend i made and you were my OGL!! Same group in absolut also... :) youre like a big brother.

Zhisheng: (V.P psych) Wah...i was so scared/intimidated by you man...thank you so much for your guidance over the acads cell....and i realise that you can be really funny (sometimes lame) too! :) But i guess one thing i really admire about you is that you have a strong sense of direction and purpose...i guess thats something that i could pick up on!

Jean: (VP Sw) Hmm, i didnt really work with you much..but i guess i'll be seeing you in film/hist lects! :) And im so happy for you! :)

Eugene: (hon gen sec) Know what dude? You are one heck of a guy. Yihan is so lucky to have you man! Youre like the bench mark of a guy a girl should bring home! hahahah...youre my gal pal too! :) Its been so nice talking/bitching with you. I must say, you were my rock when things were icky and bleaky back last sem. I thank you with all my heart...and yes, i still want your brain. :)

Xiaoyan: (asst hon gen sec) Girl....cant believed i screamed at you last sem. Oh man. (slaps own forehead) Thank you for being motherly to all of us! :)

Su teck: (treasurer) Haha...still remember that nobody contested you for the post of treasurer! Haha...susu..aka Mr nice guy with a superbly nice voice! And youre like so so patient lah! Must learn from you!

Shaun One: (fellow acads dir) Wow...its been great working with you...know what? you do have a funny bone after all!

Kim: (biz dir) fellow treven mate..and bimbo who's actually rather smart! Kim is so nice and fun to be with... HUGS!!!!!!!!!! oh yar..been meaning to ask you if your hair has less colour now than last time...is it??

Charmaine: (biz dir) You are darn funny lah...i dunno why im smiling to myself now.. :) You, kim and weilan are scary to play truth/dare with man...so er..creative!

Swee giang:(biz dir) Loud. Honestly...that was e first word that comes to mind...okay..and bubbly too!!! And you make really funny comments during meetings...

Shaun Goh(welfare dir) BURP.

Linyen (welfare) Superwoman....i honestly meant what i said in your bdae card! :)

Chingyong (welfare) Ahh...mon ami! Tu est tres tres magnifique! Merci beaucoup pour m'aider quand j'ai des problem de francais! It cracks me up when ppl tell me youre like a casa nova in swaps! hahhah

Julaina(publicity) Thanks for being my singing partner..remember last year? we both realised we couldnt sing and swore never to go KTV again? hahhaha.....

Justina(publicity) wah....i can write a long one for you...we've gotten closer over the year huh? Thank you so much for being here for me...thank you so much girl.. :)

Peiling (advisor) I dont personally know you but something about you is simply inspiring...i cant put my finger on it...something.

Joanna (advisor) Heyy..fellow A53er! hahah...youre one heckuva sweet girl...and thank you so much...without you, i wouldnt have my monthly income from tuition! hhehehe...

Once again, thank you 18th exco, for the memories!

This isnt goodbye or anything.....seeya ard the swaps table okie???

BIG HUG!

PS: Thank you cheryl lee and melinda for coming down..it meant a lot to me.. HUG!
And thank you cheryl nott for your touching speech....good luck in your 19th com position! :)

Yes.....so it is complete

My timetable's for the sem is finally done! Wohoo! I got all e tutorial slots i want!

And and and....Im officially gonna step down from SWAPS 18th exco tomorrow.

And and and....I bought all my books!!

And and and...a certain someone will be back......

And and and....my butt still aches..and its been since the DnD! Pema thinks its a lower back pain..oh dear. NOt again. Must maintain good posture!

And and and....Im gonna visit my grandma...

And and and...

(argh su teck is here and he wants to use this laptop now....ok ok ok)

cant believe it!

I STILL cant log in to Cors!!! What is wrong with you people? This has never happened before! They've even extended the balloting till tmr 9pm!!!! Must be you freshies. Must be.

I cant believe i wasted an entire day fretting over my tutorial balloting........its like e page keeps hanging! Worse thing is that my modem is down and hence the network im tapping into is highly unpredictable....gosh....must get someone to ballot for me soon....that is, if they can get in, in the first place.

Please.........i want my tutorial slot......

:(

Balloting and stuff~

I do not like CORS. I have till 5pm to ballot for my tutorials......at this rate....hmm....

Anyway, with regards to the last post, well i guess its too bad for both of us, you know, the way i interpreted yesterday's incident. I can always say that I regret posting it...and bla bla bla...and feel all guilty for being so over sensitive and i even considered deleting the entire post cos i felt embarrassed. But come on, its not my fault i felt that way. It just happens that i felt like that. Im only human. Like i said, i guess its just too bad.

Thank you so much for your email, A. At least we both know how the other party feels about what happened.And i take great comfort in knowing that it wasnt intentional.

The incident is over and done with...and i hope that we can put this behind us.
I do want things to be cordial between us...and i guess, you know, that it'll be funny the next time i see you...which will be in a few hours time. Its gonna be weird.

And regarding textbooks/readings.....its nothing to do with you lar....its just that im inherently selfish when it comes to lending books. I admit it! It doesnt matter who it is.....i just have this fear that something will happen to my book....or that when i suddenly need the book for some reason, i'd discover that "shucks, its not with me"......Thats why i kept telling my friends who wanted to borrow my books to get their own...i mean particularly if youre gonna major in that subject! Why scringe? Its an investment.. hahha...Im willing to lend my excessively annotated book to you...after all, you only need it before you get yours. :)

Grumble grumble toil and whatever

What a nice sunny day. And im home from school! Feels great to be home early. Konked out when i came back yesterday after class.

Anyway, am feeling pretty down cos of a particular incident this morning. The following scene involves three people, me, A and B. Lets just say, for purposes of anonymity( how do you spell that darn word), that we've been friends for quite some time.

So after a particular lecture, I decided to ask A, who was sitting beside me, where she was headed too. Simply out of common courtesy. Maybe its just me but I do like to ask people like "oh hey, glad lects over...where you guys headed to?". Its not like im asking because i intend to join but you know..just for conversational purposes and stuff. But the reaction i got from these 2 people not only hurt me, but left me feeling so patronised and insulted. Hadnt felt that for a long time. But it hurt.

So here's MY interpretation of what happened.

Me: So where are you headed to, A?
A: Oh, im meeting a junior for lunch.
Me: Oh ok! Im like done for the day. (smile)
Me: So B, where are you headed to now?
B: Now? As in now? (looking absurdly flustered as if my qn was a trick qn. which kinda triggered my huh-whats- gg-on button)
Me: Yar... (feeling like something's up..and i knew what it was...but am seriously hurt that i was being patronised)
B: Im having lunch with A. (with a pained expression, full of pity for me)
Me: You mean A and her junior? (i mean how come A conveniently left the fact that B was gonna be with her????)
B: Yar.

I was like okay....I mean, quite frankly, i dont give a damn about not having lunch with you guys. I really dont. Its just that you guys seem to be hiding it from me. Why? It hurts me even more that you cant even be frank with me. You patronise and belittle me like as if i'd be crushed that i wasnt invited. I honestly wouldnt be. Im crushed now, however, that you guys seem to deliberately try to cover up.....
Worse, B tried to "mend" things by gg to the co-op with me. Oh whatever

SHEESH.

I once said to A that if i was ever mad at her, id tell her. But know what? I dont think so. Not this time. Cos im not angry. Im hurt and disappointed.

I hope the two of you are reading this. Call me a coward but id rather have you chance upon this than me having to face you and tell you how i feel because i know that the next time i do see you guys, i would have forgotten this myriad of negative emotions that im feeling now.


And for God's sake, learn from this, fellow blog readers. Its not nice to hurt people's feeling by excluding them.....i mean you can if you want lah...but if you wanna cover it up, at least take some lessons in doing it tactfully.

Thanks.

Food

What a boring sunday. Am quite annoyed the Eng lang department hasnt replied my email i sent to query about their minor programme. I sent in on Friday afternoon. Oh wait, NUS has a 5-day week right? Hmm. No wonder. I shall wait till Monday.

Its lunch time but there is nothing to eat. Unless you consider instant noodles and some frozen food in the fridge. I've realised lately, that my mother doesnt cook anymore. I mean, 10 years ago, she would cook everyday, without fail. She would even lament that she didnt know which dish to cook but she cooked nonetheless, even if she had to rush off to work.

These days, however, she doesnt cook. Ive narrowed it down to 2 reasons.

1) Age. My mom still works and does the laundry. Perhaps she's too tired to cook.

2) She gave up cooking cos there was always left-overs. After all, since my siblings started working and I, myself, having a tiny income of my own, we eat out for lunch and sometimes dinner cos we either work or am at school late.

And yes, I'm guilty of eating out even when she cooks simply because i can. Years ago, we couldnt afford to eat out or buy food from outside. It was a once in a bluemoon luxury. I remember, when we were younger, my mom would feed us plain rice, mixed with margarine and soy sauce, in our humble flat in bedok north. Humble humble beginnings. And i would always envy the other kids who could get their little happy meal packages and eat at fast food outlets almost every week.

Now, we can. And so i guess, ive been catching up on my end.

Throughout secondary school (especially in sec sch) and jc, i hardly ate out. It was too darn expensive. Even eating at pizza hut was a WOW. Dont even mention places like pasta mania, fish N co, swensons, or the likes of that. I would have never have heard of nor ventured into those places as regularly as i do now. Splurging over $2 for any meal was pure stupidity. Maybe it still is.

Snack wise, my siblings and i were absolutely contented with the occassional 30 cents twisties, pac man, chickadees, 10 cents bee bee snack...we hardly had marks and spencer biscuits (as we occassionally do now) or ice cream at certain ice cream parlours. We were contented with Walls ice-cream...and if we had the luxury, we would by the 2 litres Nepolitan ice cream for $4.64 that would last us for a week. Eating a Cornetto(how do you spell it) was another WOW.

Then there's the fact that my pocket money all the way to JC was not as much(read=INSANELY A LOT) as most of my peers. Some people i know get the same amount of money in a week that i get in a MONTH. Amazing.And yet, some of my friends didnt even get pocket money. One of my best friends had to deal with less than $1 a day, and that was if she was lucky. I still remember her rumaging through the front pocket of her back for change. And that is why, even then, i found myself so blessed with what i already had.

In any case, it brings me to this point. I guess, after having tasted luxury, I realise how much i miss my mom's dishes. I mean, im sick of outside food. Now, when i hang out with my friends, i cant decide where to eat. Im just tired of everything.

It is only now, that i truly believe, that homecook food is the best...it reminds you of a whole lot of things...about who you are and where you came from.Though she would never ever cook nasi mentega kicap again,(literally rice, margarine and soy sauce), the korma, kuah soup and rendang now, still tastes as good as they did years and years ago. And eating at home, would be like eating humble pie, but ironically, i now treat eating at home a luxury.

And so, from now onwards, if my mom cooks, i would, as much as i can, come home to eat. And perhaps i should resume my cooking lessons with my nenek. Its been a long time since i learnt new dishes. :)

One week

I can do this. I can do this.....yes, i can.

Its just one whole week with absolutely no contact with him whatsoever....argh!!

Oh come on, farah, be a..er, well, i cant say man...so...be..not so pathetic lar. I mean its just 7 more days...it'll be good..you'll be able to settle down in school proper.

Its just ONE week..

My poor Najib...Out in the jungle, doing whatever, probably freezing at night.

One week will fly by real quickly im sure...with lessons and all...

Still, I miss him. Boo. :(

Ah yes, about school.

Lectures have started. I cant really say started full-swing though. Most of them are just introductory lectures about what to expect in the module, et cetera.

Had an panic attack on wed. My mind kept churning about all the things i gotta do....its hard to explain and i honestly would prefer to just mention about it and not elaborate. Too lazy to type. Haha. oh yea, i had a pop quiz during my first stats 2 lect. What an ego-bursting-joy-killer it was. Didnt help that people were already mugging in the central library and looking for books like they have term papers due the next day.

Met my new french lecturer yesterday. I think im gonna be enjoying french this semester. I guess the new textbook kinda seems a whole lot more interesting..and the lecturer does seem like an approachable guy.

Had a SWAPS meeting yesterday too. Kinda sombre, as the society's fate..ah you all know....But it was when Gene retorted to someone's query about what will happen to the societies (one for SW and the other for Psy) are not able to sustain itself....that, well, i felt so sad....he said something to the effect that "then they die....if a society is meant to survive, it will...if there's a need for one in future, eventually someone would rise upon the task to revive it.....people will only appreciate something when its gone".....

In any case, to all those psych/sw majors, and members, there will be an ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING ON FRIDAY, 19th AUGUST, LT14 at 6.30pm. Please, do turn up for the voting is ultimately important in deciding the fate of SWAPS.

Also, yesterday was a bleurgh day as "i was having doubts", to quote Prendy. I was and I reckon am still worried about whether Im choosing the right major, whether i should consider a minor in english/lit to increase my employability, IF i still can afford to take a minor to begin with, whether i have the mettle to do honours in psych as NUS psych honour prog is research/stats based.

And the realisation that if i dont make a decision soon, i might graduate, and find myself unemployed because of 3 very real reasons.

1) i am an arts graduate
2) i am female
3) i am of a minority race ( this saddens me so much....but it is true...one must be realistic..ive been at the receiving end of this. which is why, i am relishing every moment as a student...so sheltered.)

But, i know, there's hope. There are ways i can curb this.

1) Do my honours and do the best i can
2) Take a minor (God, i dunno if its not too late)
3) Upon completing French, pick up Mandarin officially and not from friends alone.
4) Build my resume..how? Im still working on it
5) Start searching for a job by the time i reach year 3 sem 1.

It seems like a tall order, honestly. Particularly the first point. I have no idea if plan no. 1 will be thwarted or not. I guess my list is the most idealistic i've come up with to date. But hey, you never know.

Someone told me never to look too far before you leap...or you might fall. I guess, its true what some of my friends told me...to take life a step at a time. And i will. But i always believe that you gotta at least know where youre heading towards.

There's a malay saying that goes something like "manusia boleh berancang..tapi Tuhan yang menentukan" or something like that.

"Man can only plan, but only God has the power to make it or not make it happen"

I love Singapore

Guess who came rolling in along Avenue 9 at 10pm this evening? The tanks, and all the other military vehicles from the Padang...and my gosh...the usually quiet streets where I live came bursting with life. The atmosphere was fantastic, as i looked out my window...and i felt like overwhelming feeling....pride...for my country....

Families gathered by the road, while their children jumped and screamed and squeeled in utter delight at the waving soldiers.....Vehicle after vehicle...the kids kept cheering...and the soldiers, obviously high with all the attention waved back...some even shouted in excitement.

So cool! I like this idea of bringing the celebrations to the heartland. Memorable.

Gosh, dont you just love this country? Safe, secure...i could go on and on..but i shant.

I love my country. Im proud to be a citizen, born and bred. That's all i need to say. The rest is understood.

Happy 40th Birthday singapore... my home.

Summer of '05

" Oh when I look back now
That summer seemed to last forever
And if I had the choice
Yeah I'd always wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life
Back in the summer of '69" - Bryan Adams

Hmm. I have no idea why, but that song immedietly played in my mind as i thought of a title entry to sum up how my 3 month vacation had been like. And I dont necessarily know if this "summer" vacation has been the best days of my life..but i know it would be one of the best. :)

I mean, whoa. So much has happened within this period...

I went to Egypt!! -I still cant believe I actually did! That experience will forever be in my heart. My first voyage overseas and on a plane. Experiencing a whole different culture. One rich and so powerful. Majestic.

FOC- Something the whole swaps com was involved in. Wrapping up the publicity and all..wasnt the most enjoyable haha since i injured my back..but im glad it was a success for the rest.

Injuries and maladies- Fell sick.Again and again. Injured self. Ahh, realised that i am truly human.

Tioman- Had a beach getaway. Nicely burnt. Learnt to thread water :) so i can decently say that i can swim. Had a perilous journey on the boat back to Mersing..realised how small and insignificant i can be when thrust at the mercy of the wide sea. And how faith in Allah can keep me calm and safe.

Family- Went travelling with my bro and mom and later with my dad and sis....i am one lucky girl! Watched my siblings graduate...and got so inspired by them to start studying. I love my family. :)

Friends- Went out with friends, past and present. Shopping, hanging out by the pool...movies...lunches, dinners...even MSN! Thanks guys..My hols wouldnt be the same without you..

Love- And of course, a certain someone. One of the reasons why i wont forget this hols. Its been only 2 months as of today...but i pray, there'll be many more to come.

And so, as today marks the onset of a new semester, i guess this entry would serve as a reminder to myself....that in my darkest moment (most likely mid-sem cos thats where all the deadlines are), there will always be a place i can return to. Though only memories, it would serve as an affirmation that things can be nice and happy....all i need is to take a pause....and return to the Summer of 2005.

Snippets of my day

Im all showered and feeling so comfortable now :) Nice night breeze blowing through my window...ahh..

Just came back from SWAPS' Dinner and Dance 2005. Am kinda tired and my butt is seriouly aching from sitting down at the table for too long. Im not joking. It really really hurts...OUCH. Its like ive sat on a bike for too long or smt. Damn seats.

Food was yummy. I had tandoori chicken among others. Was definitely better than the food during my JC prom at the Ritz. And this coming from a rather obsure hotel somewhere in little india! haha. Had my bro pick me up after the entire affair.

Sat with justina, yunxian and julaina and two other guys who with liangcai and yao tong were in and out doing their thing. Hmm.

Yup. Took photos here. Took photos there. Realised that some people really look good with make up on. Im NOT one of them. I mean some girls, like Lin Yen (who i must add, looked stunning tonight) are normally the plain jane sorta girls..but when they dress up, Whoa.
I, on the other hand, look terrible. I mean look at my makeover pics earlier this year. Yuck. So its not a matter of skill in applying make up at all. Its just me. I am better off without it.

Oh yea, i CUT MY HAIR!! Its like the length of my hair when..umm..when i was 16 i think. Or was it JC2? yup. Just above shoulder. Ah well. I guess i'll grow to like it. It will grow eventually anyway! At least my head feels lighter :)

Ouch..just shifted in my seat and boy, does my butt hurt. How am i gonna survive lectures?

Modules and stuff

Good morning.....Im up early today...strange dream...

Was supposed to be watching some movie but ended up doing some maths questions with the popcorn seller outside.

Anyway, it's all settled. Ive got 5 modules for this semester...

1) French 3 on Mons and Thurs from 10-12pm
2) Film and History on Mons from 4-8pm
3) Abnormal Psychology on Tuesdays from 10-12pm
4) Statistics 2 on wed 8-10am
5) Singapore Society on Wed 2-4pm

~AND FRIDAYS OFF~ (but lets wait till tutorial balloting's over before i celebrate)

Discovered yesterday that all this while, i've not been connected to my home network. Hahahahhahahahahaha...thats why my connection had been rather bad and i kept getting d/c. Hahhahaahahha.

Najib's gone MIA. probably rolling around in the mud and digging trenches or whatever. Oh well..he'll be out on national days' eve......when my lessons resume. hahha.
*corrections:he just msged me so technically, he's not MIA anymore.*

Going to have lunch with Ade later. Havent seen her since New Years' Day. Hmm. Wonder if 02a53 could work out a class outing before she leaves.

Thump thump thump

Wah...headache. Literally and figuratively.

What a super long day...and the bidding has not ended yet. Bidding as i type this. Stupid cors system.

Had to decide whether it was wise enough to cling on to women's health module..and realised that it isnt worth it. I mean, min bid is a whopping 1001!! That is simply INSANE.
I might end up with only four modules...Instead, im gonna go ahead with SS and another gem, this time its Film and History. I have a feeling its hard and time consuming but...i think i can manage..i will make myself manage! Its a 4 hour lecture (with movie time included), no final exams, no tutorials...just 5 essays and 1 2000 words essay and class participation.

So just when i was about to make the last minute switcheroo, the cors system was impenetrable. Simply could not login. And the dateline was 3pm.Was drafting a complaint letter when realised they extended the deadline to 5pm instead cos i guess everyone couldnt get in and so complained.

Still, and i quote Melinda, " on grounds of irreparable, truamatic personal damage and unneccessary stress due to technical negligence or oversight" , perhaps i oughta go ahead and complain anyway.

Man, the system is extremely slow.

Anxiety and all.

Im feeling the heat already. School's starting in less than a week's time and the stress of it is just getting to me.

The bidding especially, has never been so stressful before. Im bidding for two really hot modules under the same account. I could be in trouble. So God, please help me. Please...

Cant believe my 3 months vacation is coming to an end. I need to reset my internal clock. Ive been to used to sleeping late and waking up late and not leaving my house till after noon. Now, ive got to force myself to wake up early....

I know once school starts, especially in the first few weeks, my body would have to go through a major overhaul. I will be exhausted and yawny by 7pm. That is NOT good. I think im gonna start taking my Gingko tablets. ha Ha ha.

The thing is, if i dont get enough sleep and if i dont feel recharged, i'll fall asleep each time i attempt to read my notes. I mean, like last sem. The minute i flip open a book to read, my eyelids suddenly feel heavy.

Conclusion: It all boils down to sleep! I need a newer sleep cycle. And a new study method too. I used to think that im a night owl....it worked in sec sch and JC but its hasnt for uni. Why? Because my school is on the other side of singapore, thats why. And e travelling part just drains your energy. I mean the monotonous train journey. Gargh. I need more stamina.

To think one month ago i was all psyched up for school. The reality of it is bringing me down man. Im feeling the blues!

Help me. Help me un-swish my brain..from the goo that it has become to well, eugene's brain. Ive always said i wanted his brain.

Bleaurgh.

SomethingS new

Yesterday was a first for me. Many firsts actually!

First time double 'dating'. Went out with Yunxian, Raymond and Najib. I thought maybe it would be safer to hang out with more than one person so that if my dad asks where im going i can in all honesty say "with friend-S".

We watched The Island. Not bad lah. First time watching a movie with Yunxian. First time watching a movie at Bugis.

Then for the first time, we all went to the new National Library. Huge.

Quite funny yesterday...me and yx were nervous whether our bfs could get along. They hit it off, thankfully. And i found out that Raymond is such a humorous guy. Funny! And talkative! Yx and Raymond look nice together. :)
And somehow, me and yx kept saying the exact same phrase at the same times! So bizarre!

All in all, it was a nice outing. Wouldnt mind doing it again! :)

Earworm

Did you know that earworm is the word to describe the i-have-a-song-stuck-in-my-head condition.

Yeah, and can you believe i have a malay song stuck in my head now? I was channel surfing yesterday and I chanced upon Suria and they were like playing songs in btw programmes or smt...so here it is. Begone earworm! Whoosh.

"Kaulah segalanya,
yang menyinar hidupku kasih,
Hanya satunya yang ku cintai
Sambutlah cintaku
Jangan kau pergi dari sisiku
Cintaku padamu, ikhlas sejati"

Im still trying to translate that. Bleaugh. Its a mushy song for sure. But it sounds nice.

HUGE discovery

Alright. Maybe not so huge...but,

GASP!!!!!!!! IVE GROWN FATTER !!!

Im gonna start crying.(as if..trying to be dramatic, so excuse me)
I was clearing my wardrobe this time round...when i chanced upon my VJ skirt. I decided to try it...you know, just to see if i could fit...and to MY HORROR, it was TIGHT! Worse, this is the pair of skirt that i hardly used in jc because it was to LOOSE then.

IM FAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do i see the D word approaching? Diet.
And how bout the E word? Exercise.
And the R word? Resist indulgences.



or maybe, just maybe, when i was in jc, i never wore my skirt at waist level but at hip level? Boo. Im not consoled.

Hmm...interesting.

Is he pretending that nothing happened? Cos he's sure acting like that! Smiled at me this morning and even helped me clear my room as I fixed my DIY bookshelf i bought. (I like DIY stuff! I felt like a carpenter. Hehhe...D&T lessons sure did help man.)

Im not complaining. Ive got a few possible reasons why he hasnt asked me;
a) He thinks the sms was meant for HIM. Hmm.
b) He quitely accepts the fact
c) He's testing me and my honesty
d) He didnt read the sms
e) He read the sms and thought it was a joke or smt
f) He lost his hp. RIGHT. I heard it ring this morning.

Either way, i shall listen to what my mom, najib and yunxian (and her mom) said. I shall pretend nothing happened and if he asks me, i'll tell him its a joke. OR i could tell him the truth. I mean eventually i would, wouldnt i? Its just too soon.

Ah well. I'll think of that later. I have bigger issues at hand. Im in the midst of clearing my room now that ive gotten my shelves. Im tired. And everything's like spewing on the floor. My sis will not be a happy person when she gets back. Doesnt help that she's sleep deprived cos of her night shift.

Bleaugh. Im HUNGRY. Shall eat first.

Complete Blunder.

I am so mega screwed. Couldnt sleep last night. Two reasons for that really.

First is the fact that im still partially DEAF in my right ear and im getting very irritated. Ive tried everything: from pinching my nose and blowing (hoping air would shoot out) and blowing my nose hard to jumping up and down. Im beginning to think i have mucus in my ear cos there was too much in my nose so it spread. GARGHHHHHHHH. I hate sticky green icky mucus. get OUT of me!

The next reason. You would not belive it. I sent an sms meant for my boyfriend to MY DAD. HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO GOONDU? And i didnt notice it till two hours later when i checked my 'sent' messages folder. Told Najib bout it and he was like "act cool"...told my mom and she was like "you didnt send anything mushy right?" RIGHT. I am so screwed. Mom told me to pretend its a joke to a friend or smt. And she laughed. I could have banged my head into a wall....i was so nervous. Luckily, my dad didnt come home till late last night. He's sleeping now.

Wonder what the aftermath would be like. Pray for me, dear friends.

God, help me.

Blocked

Woke up this morning to discover that my right ear is blocked! Im partially deaf! Gargh. You know that feeling when water gets in your ear after swimming? Yes, irritating isnt it. I want my ear back!

Am msn-ing with justina and yx now....kenneth too. Ken's still in switzerland and he's bought me chocolates! Yay! Justina and Yx discussing whether we have time to hang out for a while cos ive got tuition at 4pm. What a time. Tuition smacked in the day till 8pm. -_-

Got my abnormal psych module so im left with my gem and SS. I hope my points are enough cos i didnt come up with a back up plan...so i might be left with 4 modules. Crap. So i pray i get both modules!!!!!

Was just browsing thru the announcement on IVLE and i chanced upon this wakeboarding intro class.....oooh..i want...but i dont wanna go alone. Yunxian seems keen....any more takers? Its 60 or 65 bucks and will be held next wed and thur (3rd and 4th Aug)...Come on, it'll be fun!

anyone else interested?

Kissed by the sun

Im burnt.

At first, i thought the red glowy-ness of my skin's kinda cool..and the fact that somehow, the combination of sun and saltwater tightens your skin into a naturally botoxed state was splendid....then the reverse happened...

Red has turned to black..and my tight skin has given way to flaky skin...Gargh.

Tioman was fantastic nonetheless. A nice, quick getaway sums it up. Went snorkelling and stuff. So nice!! The waters are pristine and definitely inviting. If only the waters in singapore arent so polluted. Maybe then i'd venture to swim at the beaches here. In any case, its good that the beaches in Malaysia are nice enough. It took me only 4-6 hours to get to Tioman. Nice.

The journey home was scary tho. It was raining and so the little speedboat we were on had to brave the choppy waves. Each time we collided with an incoming wave, it felt like we were hitting concrete. I've never been so afraid....we were at the mercy of the vast sea. But faith...a whole lot of it calmed me..and i know we'd be okay. If youve ever watched the movie A Perfect Storm or the likes of that, then im sure you'll know what i mean by choppy. And scary.

After surviving that 1 hour ride, we landed safely in Mersing only to almost fall prey into the hands of this cheat-of-a-driver. He wanted to charge us his "special" price of RM$240 to singapore. What rubbish. We paid only RM$110 to get to Mersing. I guess he saw my dad's golf clubs and expected us to be willing to pay. He kept tailing us even though my dad said No. Eventually, he brought it down to RM$120. So we agreed. Then, even before we left, he pretended that he needed some money for gas and that he was out of it. He kept turning the ignition switch when my dad told us that he saw the tank was full....so the guy dropped us off at the gas station and went off! (he could still drive off when he claims his tank was empty?!!) Then, another car from behind, which my dad thinks had been tailing us, offered to send us back. So dubious. Luckily, a bus to Johor was parked at the station.We hopped on the bus and were off. From there, we took the singapore-JB express and my gosh, i felt so safe to reach the singapore immigration. So safe.

Bidding has commenced! I hope i get the mods i want. So far, i only need to bid for abnormal psych in this round.

Going to run some errands with my sister in a while...and i have YET to clear my room and revise my french...

PROCRASTINATION is EVIL.

Off to Tioman!!

Alright guys, Im off! I hope sunny weather will greet us when we get to the lovely island!

I'll be leaving in a few hours...gonna take a drive up to Mersing or smt and then take a ferry from there because Tanah Ferry terminal STOPPED direct ferrys/ferries from here! -_-.

Anyway, I will be back latest by this Monday.

Yup! Seeya!!!!!

Rain rain go AWAY.

I dont like rainy days. I wanna see the clear blue skies again. I wanna see sunshine again! I wanna get better! *sniffs*

On a lighter note, I GOT STATS 2 PREALLOCATED!!!! Wohoooooo! Yes! Im one step closer to getting all the modules i want. All i need is to bid for abnormal, ss and Gem. So if SS is really from the general account, then i can dedicate all my programme account to abnormal psych! Yay. :)

Aww...just got an sms from him...he wanted to call me but they have to assemble. And he put that sad face thingy :( So sweet of him.
But funny thing is, i always thought they would be busy busy busy running around, rolling in mud and digging trenches. Apparently, they have a lot of free time. He even admits that training hasnt been as intensive as he expected. Hmm.

Feel kinda bad for not helping daphne with the BBQ. It turns out that i might not be able to come down for the BBQ on thurs..i wont be celebrating gene's bdae in that case.....cos im leaving on thurs instead. And tmr is the exco chalet but i cant come cos ive got tuition...

Am i turning into an unsociable person? I mean, i havent really been going for any Swaps activity, have i?

So am i? Hmm.

Sniffles

Why do i always fall sick just before a trip?

But my grandma is right. If im sick, i shouldnt mop around the house and act all sick. I should go out...and do stuff! Take my mind off the fact that my body is weak and my nose is runny and my eyes watery.

So im going to go shopping later! Whee~

I just hope i dont collapse.

Oh yes, never watch alien vs predator, minority report and the stepford wives all on the same day. You wouldnt be able to have a peaceful dream. What a nightmare!

And its funny that the video rental near my place categorised Stepford wives as comedy. IT should be put under horror, in my opinion.

Alright, my neck and shoulders are achy cos im lying down and propping myself up to type this. Yup.

And i miss him. Boo. :( Wont be seeing him till the end of the month cos even when his confinement ends this weekend, i'll be away at tioman. Ah well.

inertia again..whats new?

I am bored. But i am one heckuva lazy person. I cant seem to get myself to do anything productive!

I mean, i woke up early this morn (7am) and went back to sleep cos i had nothing to do after reading the papers. Woke up again at 12 noon and decided to clean up the house, including my room. So yes, i swept almost the whole house, tidied the hall and i must say, it does look significantly neater...but when i got to my room, i looked around and groaned. No way. Not today. So i just tidied up my table a little and get this cleared my wallet. I felt contented throwing all the receipts.

Ive finished reading the books i borrowed from the library yesterday. Was supposed to go out with Yunxian but it rained so we called it off.
I know i have things to do. I just remembered that i have TWO portfolios to write for SWAPS. I just cant get myself started...and i know im supposed to start revising my french. Kenneth informed me earlier that the immersion peeps have improved tremendously so im like in deep trouble.

But i cant seem to get started. Hmm..but i gotta get started soon. Time is running out. School is starting real soon and i wanna make sure ive settled everything by then.

Oh yeah! Im going tioman somewhere next week when my sis gets her leave! Woohooo! :)

Listening to the radio now...The Darkness' "I believe in a thing called love" never fails to make me laugh..especially when i think of their MTV. Hahahahahhahahahahahhaha....

Un fit.

What does a girl who hasnt run for ages and who cant really run to begin with is asked to run with her friend? And the tiny lil fact that her friend CAN really run? That he completed a 10Km marathon and came in 18th (and that was when he just recovered) and he considers 3km a sprint when the girl considers it a marathon?

Gargh. [buries face in pillow]

Ive told him countless times that i cannot run for nuts. Why do people who can run always assume everyone can run like them? I cant. Ask my JC classmates. I mean ask anyone.
And the tiny fact that im pretty verbally abusive when im tired. I mean, imagine running beside someone who's all smiley and "come on, you can..." and all you feel is slapping the person with a frying pan. Or your hands. If you had the strength, that is.

I feel like a slob....BUT
I feel so motivated by him to run though.

But i will not run with him. Yet. Thank goodness he's stuck at camp. Hahhahahahha...i highly doubt he'd wanna run on his off days. Then again.

ok ok ok ok ok. Im gonna run....soon....its for my health. And my mental well being. I feel like a slob. I need to run off that feeling. I wanna feel the adrenaline. I wanna feel a little bit more alive.

I hope i can get pass 1 km. Dear God, i hope i can.

Good evening

[Yawn] Just woke up. Nyak. Nyak. Nyak.

Oh man, i was so psyched up for school till i realised last Thurs and was reminded again today (my bro's commencement ceremony) about how painful it would be to wake up early every morning and take that ardously long journey to school. (to think on normal days, i'd have to take public transpot) I hope i get the time table i want. Please let me get the time table i took so long to draft. Please.

Anyway, i wont be able to go on Msn much till i figure out whats wrong with the wireless connection to my lap top. For any computer whizzes out there, what on earth are "packets"? How come my lap top can send but cannot receive? And when i do get online, i'd get d/c in no time cos of the packets thingy. It was perfectly fine before!!

Im thinking of chucking my table and buying a bookshelf. I dont even use the table. And i need e space for books. Ive only taken two semesters and i dont have space already. IKEA, anyone?

Amusing. If only i could count the number of people asking me the same question. Yes. I am with someone. And haha, you know that "Your profile has been viewed xx times since mm/dd/yy" on friendster? Amazing how the number shot up when i put a pic of us online.

Speaking of him, he will be out for his grad tmr!

Anyway, had a SWAPS exco meeting yesterday. Wasnt in a meeting mode yest so i kinda blah things. Until i had food that is. Before that, i felt that i was outside looking in on the rest. Wow. Ive never seen such a dedicated and extremely passionate bunch of people. My hats off to all of you. Shame on me for sitting amongst you while in all honesty, i was kinda bo chap then. Then again, that was before i had food in my system. Im pretty sure, deep down, i do care. I mean, heck, come to think of it, i do! I mean SWAPS welcomed me and coloured my first year as an undergrad. I instantly made friends and learnt a lot over the two semesters. Learnt my limitations. My strenghts. Whatever happens to the society, i will always cherish the times i had with the 18th exco.

As to whether the society will split, we all know it is the inevitable. The arguments made for and against the motion were kinda balanced and yet circular at the same time. I do hope that whatever decision we make, it will be a decision that we can look back on and be satisfied with.

Jolted

I was rudely awoken this morning by a very very loud and extremely frightening drone from outside my window and which seemed to have lasted forever.

The time was 3.30am.....AM. IN THE MORNING when it happened. At first it was a faint drone...then it got progressively and deafeningly loud. My eyes opened instantaneously. Thoughts dashed in and out of my head. Could this be it? Armageddon? End of the world? (its was 3 bloody AM i must emphasise). I looked out the window and to my horror, i saw........

TANKS. SAF TANKS.And those bridge builders thingy. Streaming happily along Avenue 9.

War? Whats happening??!! Then, tugging very hard at the back of my head, came a more realistic probability....NDP. And that got me so angry.

What is their problem? Tearing down civilian streets like that in the wee hours of the morning? Scaring people out of their sleeps, making sleep deprived people jump to radical conclusions? I hope nobody suffered from outbreaks of hysteria!!

So much for stealth army boys. Sheesh!

And i was really really frightened. Especially cos i was alone in the room. Sis was at work. Man, was i scared. I covered my ears but the droning went on for the next goodness knows how many more minutes before slowly ebbing away in the distance.

So much for my hope of having an uninterupted sleep.

potluck?

So like why are potlucks called potlucks?

Anyway, the potluck went pretty fine....friends actually prepared food! Like rice and chicken and fish...all i brought was snacks...it was nice hanging with my sec school peeps...reminiscing bout the past..and all the zany memories...havent seen manju in ages and my gosh, she's still the same! Havent seen yali since i left dunman either! Then of course there was Tini, shikin and aisyah...farhana has mumps and widya couldnt make it.

Nice time at pasir ris park.....

And then i got a call from him. :) :) :)
He says he's fine, his bunk mates are on, the mats there are funny and that his company/bunk/whatever overlooks the sea. And the best part, he"ll be out this tues night cos he has to attend his graduation ceremony, which means that there might be a possibility that we can go out for a while. What a bonus!

so anyway, why are potlucks so called?

Many a things hath happened...

Thursday was my sis's commencement. Was and still am so proud of her... :) We were granted access to the VIP area cos my sister was chosen as one of those to meet President SR Nathan...So we got to mingle with him (he asked my father which part of Pakistan we were originally from...Hahahah) and took pics with him and Dr Tony Tan. The president was a chatty guy really!

Also, remember that wannabe reality tv date show "eye for a guy" or whatever? Well, that wolfgang guy was there...his bro was graduating too..pretty good looking chap.

Anyhow, my sis came out in the malay papers yesterday...to inspire the malay/muslim community i suppose. hmm.

And, Najib enlisted. Gargh...its only for 3 weeks before he can come out but i cant help feeling kinda heavy hearted....worse, i fell asleep when he tried to call. [kick self] ah well. I"ll be seeing him soon... :)

Went out with cheryl too...she dragged me out so i wont wallow at home alone..thank you my "favourite friend"! hehehhehehehehhehehe

And later ive got tuition (after a month hiatus, i almost forgot i have a job!) and meeting up my sec school friends for a potluck at pasir ris park....

Then next week.....i dunno whats happening next week...im thinking of getting my life in order before school...ive kinda gotten a rough time table out...and oh yes, farah, PLEASE REMEMBER TO SELECT A SLOT FOR FRENCH LECTS BY NEXT WED.

That oughta remind me!

have a nice weekend y'all!

resistant to change

Why? Why must NUS bloody change the system? Its so troublesome trying to piece a perfect time table for next sem. First, i have to memorise the module codes. Then, i gotta check if the exams clash on a different page....then i gotta go to other faculty websites to get the codes of the other mods i want....GARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Forget it. I shall plan later.

Its the holidays. Its still the holidays.

I feel like blogging

Yesterday was my daddy's birthday. Yep, 4th of July. It was a nice little family party. Just the six of us, nice and cosy.....I gave him some inspirational poster (cos he's been looking worried these days...dunno why) and some MPH vouchers cos he loves books and i just couldnt find the right one for him..so yeah...and i gave him a big hug. :). The others are gonna get him a home theatre system...right...that led to discussions on how our hall should be redecorated and bla bla bla....all 6 of us just sat there and started discussing...it was nice...it was no longer just the parents making the decisions...all of us have a say now...anyway,

I love my dad so much.

The day before was my cousin Linda's and my friend Shaun's birthday...even though you guys arent near me, doesnt mean id forget you know!!

And so, today. Well, nothing happening. Might be going out with him

Tomorrow:Might be going out with him again

Thurs:My sister's commencement and my parents 28th wedding anniversary.

Fri: My baby's off. SIGH. :(
Going out with cheryl to take my mind off it.

And from then on, i would very much like to go out with you....yes, you reading this right now...cos i"ll probably be miserable and bored at home....or maybe i might just plunge into getting ready for the next sem.....i STILL havent cleared my room!!!!

Right....oh yeah, i feel kinda out of Re-fresh.....its like i was looking thru the pics (just briefly) and i realised that im not like in e photos...i wasnt there much....even though i worked on the publicity for the camp...i still feel so detached. Like i wasnt in the main com at all. In fact, even while i was there, i felt pretty alienated. It seems the progs ppl seem to be the ones who were useful and stuff...Dreaded the pre-camp especially. Ah well. At least the others had fun and the camp was relatively a success so in that sense, i feel happy that my job was done.

I feel down. Perk me up. Please.

Bleaurgh. Happy thoughts happy thoughts!!! Ok, feel better now.

pour moi??

A call from France!! For me?

Yeah! My gosh, i thought kenneth was joking when he said he's calling from France....he did mention where but i kinda forgot! Heh. Apparently, he was waiting for his train to Paris where he's heaing to Marseiile after so he had time to kill hence he decided to call me cos he misses me!! So sweeeeeeeeeeeeet! Nobody's ever called me from a different continent and spoken to me for more than 10 mins! Ok, other than my Aunt but still! Whoa!!! :)

Another reason why i believe that i have wonderful friends in this world!!

Anyway, he told me that he met up with some of the students from NUS who went for the immersion..and he said that they've gotten significantly better...they even went on to study the grammar we'll learn next sem. GREAT. Just great. I know nuts. I gotta start refreshing my brain...and SOON.

Ah well, till then, let me slob...and heal my back....speaking of which, i can walk! Though i hardly think i can survive walking/sitting for long durations....HEAL BACK...HEAL!!!!

Feel so loved..

Thanks guys. Thank you so much for all the concern. Smses that have been pouring in asking me how i am. Not to mention the tags too. Thank you.....Im okay..I"ll live!

And, Im GETTING BETTER!!!!!!!!

I pretty sure i"ll be okay in another 2 to 3 days time. Medicated plaster im using is really helpful. Like millions of tiny ppl massaging me all the time..ahh..

Well, the docs said (haha, my sis and bro lah...i mean i"ll never have to see a doctor again in my life! so cool. and convenient. and FREE consultation.hehehe.) its either a muscle sprain or slip disc which is now ruled out. So yea, its a muscle sprain. My personal physiotherapist (farhana, even tho she's still a student) said that my back muscles are weak and are in shock. Massaging might aggravate it especially if the person doing know nuts so i better not massage it. She also said medicated plasters may provide temporary pain relief. So like what my docs said, I just need to rest it out. Might take days or even weeks to completely recover.

And yes cheryl, i might have to learn yoga and pilates soon. Farhana recommended it to me. Said at my age, i still have time to strengthen it....otherwise, when im older, i might end up with chronic back pain. So any idea where i can sign up? or can you be my personal yogi? :)

Immobile

I cant move. Much. I cant sit up, i cant walk fast, i cant sway my hips(why would i in the first place..but STILL), i am pretty much movement-challenged.

Ah yes, the back ache. Back sprain. Whatever. It just hurts like hell. It was hurting real bad on Tuesday night. Couldnt even walk. This shooting pain at the end of my spine each time i took a tiny step. Ended up walking like a penguin. Like grandma(oh how i empathise with you nenek, i really do).

Was convinced by everyone to go home. So i gave in. The campers were getting worried about me and my senior June said its no use if i stayed...so i went home...brother fetched me. I was kinda crushed...i was only getting to know my freshies better!!! I wanted to go Sentosa for the amazing race....but i had to listen to my body (among others)

Its been days and it still hurts. At least i can walk a little bit more......i remembered i cried in the loo cos i couldnt undress. It was so painful. So painful.

Was so touched today. My OG called me up and put me on speaker phone....and they told me the news...THEY WON!! Power smurfs (they came up with the name. Dont ask.) won first place! I thought they were pretty bleah but they did it in the end!!!!! I guess it was a good thing i left....then they couldnt keep depending on me....and the other perm facis daphne and kai jun and cheryl nott and parvin.

Anyway, cheryl nott told me that they dedicated a song to me during the finale night. Wow. Touched. In fact, when i was on speaker phone, they sang to me!!!!! So nice! There i was, lying down in bed, listening to them. I was so moved!!! And they all went "we love/miss you farah"...gosh.....[beams happily] Thank you elda, diana, kelvyn, hafiza, qi jun, kitty, michelle, elaine!

So what now? no idea. on my bed as i type this. Thank goodness i have wireless!

Off to camp...

Please let me be ra-ra before the camp starts full swing. Im like so out of sync with camps and cheers and ya ya stuff like that......im kinda dreading the late nights, sleep deprivation and hoarse throat that would leave my voice all husky and artificially sexy. Haha.

Not to mention the packing. I hate packing! I just packed and unpacked and now pack again only to unpack later? Plus i have to pay 30 bucks for that?

Oh well. This is just the inertia talking. Im sure i"ll have a blast once i get the Rah back into the Fa. Yeah.

Gargh. Just got word that im a perm faci(permanent facilitator). PERM???? there goes my efforts to skive. Sigh. Okay..i can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

Just breathe and put on a big smile.

And bring strepsils. Lots of em.

Gimme a blah...BLAH! Gimme a Blah Blah....BLAH BLAH! Gimme a blah blah blah.....BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!

Will be back on thurs!

Im off!

MSN version 7.0

Okay, i just and finally downloaded the newer version. I couldnt be bothered to previously cos i thought that with my home internet connection, it'd take ages but heh, it took me less than 3 mins. So yea! I love that nudge thing!!!!! So cool. And irritating...which is why i like it!!!!

Speaking of nudge, i miss him. Is it wrong to say it out loud to the world? What am i afraid of? That others would roll their eyes like i once did to them? Perhaps. Yes, I MISS HIM. I miss my Nudgieeeeeeeeeeee.There. Felt better? Nope. He's still not here is he?

Boo.

Okay, now im rolling my own eyes at myself. For goodness sake, you have a life farah! Sheesh. OK ok ok...

Kinda glad he isnt here actually. Have a lot of Swaps things to do so if he's around, i"ll find excuses to hang out with him instead of doing my work....things like calling up a whole lot of ppl and putting on this ultra saccharine voice asking if they're still interested in the camp next week. Shudders. I did that. And i did that only cos i had nothing else to do.

Wait a sec, i actually have a lot of things to do before oh-my-god-school's-opening again...

1) Revise my french cos its basically non-existent in my left hemisphere of the brain. Gosh, is that where language is at? I dont even know. My brain's all rusty. I never did enjoy cognitive psych to begin with. How i manage to scrape thru it is a miracle.
2) RUN. cos i havent ran since that one day wonder of 3.6km.
3) Read. Like finish the LOTR book.
4) er.....clean up the aftermath of the exams...ie: my room is still in a mess, particularly with that pile of papers on the shelf with all my tutorials and lect notes....do i keep em or burn em?
5) Buy more clothes before term starts?
6) Focus. Prepare myself to be a full time mugger. Like really. Really really. Like nothing else matters. Except my books. My modules. Okay, ok, besides my other life-ly commitments like family and blah blah.....and now that my CCA might be how-do-i-put-it-nicely....going kaput, i will be CCA-less. Hahahha....wheee. Then my only other commitment is my ECA. Thats only on weekends once he enlists. SO yea, i have no excuse not to perform better this coming semester. In fact, look at me now! Im all psyched up for school!

Right. Now i gotta pick my modules really wisely. And do you think a 3-day work week is recommendable? Ive always had mondays off. I was thinking of getting Fridays off as well. That would be so cool. But then again, imagine common tests.....yikes. Back to back? No way. Lesson i learnt from last semester, i do not have long attention spans. My attention span could possibly equal primary school kids.

Speaking of which, ahhhh, yes, tuition. My source of income. Now, that would be on Saturdays. But i reckon my ECA i/c would understand. I do want my own cash flow. Gosh, i hope they keep employing me forever. Tution is the most lucrative career any undergrad could have. Now how many times have i said that?

Meeting up with Pema later for a catch-up. Havent met her in ages!

Au revoir~ (the only decent french thing i can say now. Ashamed, I am)

I'm back!!

Okay, ive been back for quite some time now but ive been very hesitant to blog.....to get back to reality.... you know the feeling that you just dont wanna snap out of it? but i guess its time...

I had a wonderful time in Egypt. So memorable. Took a whole lot of pics! Thank goodness for my 1GB SD card which i borrowed from my brother. Took over 500 pics. Man, everything abt Egypt is nice.

Took my first airplane flight of my life. First time in the parts of changi airport only accessible to those flying/arriving.....whoa. I like flying.

Anyhow, i really honestly wanna start typing about my wonderful experiences in Egypt but man, once i start, i honestly dont know if i"ll be able to stop.

Egypt is nice. Lovely, Beautiful ppl...especially in Cairo and Alexandria. And believe me, this Muslim country is liberal. Really. The ppl there really know how to dress up. And they're so gorgeous. Man, i was at Cairo Mall on the last night before flying home and i was like "WHY???? Why cant singapore have oh so yummy looking ppl like these?"

Okay, back to reality. groans.

But really, egypt is nice. Its only hot and dry in the South but once you head north, its actually cooler than Singapore!

And yes, i went into the second pyramid. And yes, i saw the mummies. And yeah, i rode a camel! In fact, i tried almost every form of transportation while i was there. Rode a horse carriage, a bus, a taxi, was a pedestrian (very scary experience. traffic is a killer but strangely, the drivers are very polite to pedestrains!), a motorboat, a felucca, a camel, a cruise ship along the river nile, a train frm aswan to cairo and finally, FINALLY, an airplane!

And yeah, heh, we could pass off as locals. Until me and my mom opened our mouths to speak. My bro could speak Arabic so they thought he was egyptian. Which was why our experience in Cairo mall was great..cos we blended in and were not treated like tourists.

Anyway, blogging from Yunxian's house. Yx is flirting over the telephone in a bid to get guys down for our swaps camp. Gross. She can really really flirt. Yes, you can.

Bon voyage!!!

Egypt, here i come!

This will be my last post till I get back home. I reckon I wont blog from over there! Gonna resort to the plain old simple way. A travel diary. :)

Ooh, yes, I will be back on the 18th I think. Im still kinda not sure. 18th or 19th. Either way, I'll be back!!!!!

Alright everyone!!!

Im outta here!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~

My bags ARENT packed......

I am a horrible packer.
I cannot pack for nuts.
I am getting stressed because I have never EVER been away from home for so long, let alone on another continent!

Blimey, my first airplane trip!

I wanna bring my whole room!!!

Haiya, im just looking at the mess i made....luggage thrown open, filled to the brim..i think im bringing too many t-shirts! but i cant help it!! And dont get me started on the undergarments. i have ceremoniously left them out...for now. It will just make me feel worse....

Gargh.

Its just packing......its just packing......breathe farah breathe (would love to but too bad my sinuses are clogged up with mucus...*sniffs*).......okay...i can do this...

Still got a couple of errands to run before i leave fri morning at ard 5 plus AM. (gosh.)

1)Collect new pair of contacts (eyesight's deteriorating at an astounding pace)
2) Get a SD card for my digital camera
3) Consider activating my roaming (i mean, how am i to contact someone for help if i get kidnapped and shipped off to Sudan?)
4)Change some of my Sing dollars to US dollars because most money changers here do not carry the Egyptian pound and most money changers over there do not recognise our Sing dollars. So mah fun. (how do ya spell it?)
5) Pack my bags....yes, pack em up!

Okay, busy busy busy.....

[i hope sanitation there's good]

Mushhhhh

Ok ok ok ok ok.

I, Farah, can be a mushy person. when i want to, that is.
In fact it grosses me (and some of my friends) out to think i can but on the other hand, im relieved to know that i can. so im normal. whatever normal is.

BUT i still roll my eyes at all the excessively lovey-dovey ppl (on escalators,elevators,buses, and all the incredibly unromantic places where they -can you believe it- twine...heh, but its good that they do that on crowded Mrts. Save space. Sheesh. GET A ROOM PEOPLE!) and make snide comments.

Back to me. Mushy. Ive become an emotional mushball lately. Okay. Thats all i can bring myself to type.
Like what someone said...im contradictory. I am an emotional person yet i cant stand people showing their emotions....to which i retorted (i think) "it should be private, mah"

Then again, could it be that im just hypocritical?

Anyways, I just drew up my list of things to pack for Egypt. I have no idea how im gonna squeeze things in my luggage. My main worry however, is to find that i have not packed enough undergarments. Man. Can you imagine recycling? Gross. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeks.

Sore throat...boo.

Gargh. I dont wanna be sick. I cannot afford to!! Im gonna be flying off in a week!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im gonna binge myself on strepsils. (someone, please remind me about the laxative effects of an overdose of sweets...yes, it happened to me before)

So the results were yesterday...one word: ALHAMDULILLAH!!!!!!

God really loves me :) Yay.
Im so so grateful. And happy. And satisfied.
Considering everything I went through over the last semester, I am contented. I think I did my best and yeah...im just happy. Its okay that I did worse off than last sem but hey, there's always another few sems to catch up. Must work harder from now on...

And to my dear friends out there. I hope you guys are happy with your results. And if its okay with you, i'd rather not discuss with you my grades or anything....Please respect my wishes okie? I just wanna be happy.
Thank you so much!!!!

Whee~

First

On mon, i had the best run in two years..make that the best run of my life actually! Went further than expected. I mean i pushed myself.....im amazed what mind over body actually means now. Heh, I jogged 3.6 Km non stop! And i hadnt ran in two weeks! 3.6 Km! this is Farah youre talking about! thats a mean feat for her man! Applause please!!! I guess this may be a one off wonder...maybe had the energy after all that slobbing around! At least i dont feel so wasted anymore! Yay!

Went to science center yesterday! havent been there in ages! The place is kinda different when you come at your own leisure and not with a class on some school excursion!

Watched Madagascar after that. What a let down. Plot could have been developed but heck, its a kid's show. Still, i had my fair share of laughter. Wouldnt have enjoyed the show much without the company i had. :p

Ahhh....whee~

you make me feel whee-ish~