I dont know how much longer (pun intended) I can take!

I feel like chopping them off...I'll give it another few days then I think I'll have to trim them at least!

Anyway, this weekend, I did 2 things for this first time :) On sat, under the watchful eyes of nenek, I cooked nasi beryani! :) And it tasted nice given its my first attempt! Heeee...Nenek said I passed! :)

Then on sun morn, I went for pilates. Ok la..I felt..comfortably stretched. Although the last 15 mins of the session was this relaxation exercise where we had to lie down and have our eyes closed. We were told to clear our minds. But the moment she said "clear your mind of any thoughts..." a gazillion thoughts zoomed in and out of my head. Hmm.

Well, since its 31st dec already, wanna wish everyone A Wonderful New Year! May the lessons learnt in 2007 and before be remembered so 2008 and thereafter will be fulfilling years of life.

END POST~12.43pm

Ive never kept long fingernails. But Im trying to grow them now just to see how long I can last before I end up biting them.

How do girls with long fingernails do it? I find it difficult to type and I wake up in the mornings to find my fingers and hands substantially heavier by the day!

Is there some hand/finger exercise I need to do or smt to deal w the extra weight?

END POST~5.00pm

And that sums up Yr 4 Sem 1.

A collective SIGH everyone.

And a huge heave of relief as I bid my penultimate sem goodbye and good riddance!

An exciting final semester awaits.

END POST~2.30pm

Wet for a 'fish spa' today and had tiny Doctor Fish-es nibbling at my feet. At first it was ticklish but after a while, it was really soothing. My gosh. Najib definitely has more dead skin than anyone else as they were flocking to his legs in particular! He had to move away from me or else no fish would come to me!

Bought ourselves webcams since he's leaving in feb. Im playing with it now! Im loving it!

Results tmr. Hmm.

END POST~9.17m

Im waiting for the day when I can say that I walked through fire and didnt get burnt.

END POST~7.19pm

God must have heard me :)

Alhamdulillah

END POST~4.14pm

All that Ive worked hard for. It's all falling apart. I'm not getting the participants I need. So close yet so far. And that is the worst thing of all. Im so close to where I want to be and yet I will never be able to reach it because of this. Ive done everthing I can. Ive practically begged them to come down for lab. Ive come down on public holidays. On saturdays. On sundays. At any time as long as they're willing to come. And all for what?

Now I sit in my lab, 21 dec 2007. Crying my eyes out. Ive always been optimistic. Always thought that I just have to be patient and my participants will respond. Will reply. Will come. But reality has slowly been seeping in.

First, the response is trickling down and so is my pool of subjects. Ive tried asking friends. Not working at all as they dont fulfill the criteria I need. Heck, i even decided to reduce the number of participants per condition to 15!

Then I found out that they brought forward the dateline to 30th march.

But the last straw came down with my participant today. I had to take the painful decision to exclude her data. Exclude! Im moving backwards.

Oh my god. How will my sup react when I report to him my sample size? He's going to tell me something I dont want to hear. He's going to make me change my entire research question because that is the only way to salvage my thesis. And I know that.

But everything I put in...I keep thinking of all that Ive done...its all going to waste. and it hurts so much.

it hurts so much.

I worked so hard. All that.

I cant type anymore

END POST~1.35pm

No No NO! I will not do any more work today. Enough data entry for today. (Thanks yihan for coming over to my place to help me and for taking 2 bundles home!:)( Hee, free labour..yes, Im an opportunist..hehehehehee)

Tired. Hmrph. Make me!

Tired tired tired BUT I had a fantastic workout today and now I feel uber alive :)

I'm high on endorphines! Plus Im so H.A.P.P.Y cos my baby bear called me!!! 20 mins of his voice...ahhh..

I can sleep smiling tonight..

BUT then, tmr I must wake up early and its a long long long day tmr. I'll have to make my way to school to photocopy stuff because school is the only place I know with photocopiers and which opens early :S because in the afternoon, I have a freaking 4 hr test for some job (hence i need copies of my certs and stuff)...and then I gotta make way to kim and char's bday party. Sadly, I dont think I can dress according to their theme anymore...

Oh bother, which means I have to iron my black pants cos I dont think I can wear jeans right? Alamak..what if they dont fit anymore? Well, I guess i'll stuff myself into them anyways.

Ok, I need my beauty sleep. Que sera sera.

END POST~9.47pm

"I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss
And a prince I'm hoping comes with this" La la lala laaaaaa...........

The song Giselle sings in Enchanted keeps playing in my head! And though Im a grey's anatomy fan, Ive never really like mcdreamy till today! He's so...dreamy and charming. Sigh. I feel like falling in love all over again :)

Wait. I am in love :) Just waiting for my prince to come home :)

Anyway, I need to stop spending. I bought a top today. I had to control myself from buying more stuff! Thank goodness justina has such strength to stop me. Plus I realise I always eat when Im outside. Snacking especially. ARGH. I really must leave my house with just enough cash for whatever is impt...and leave my nets/mastercard at home.

END POST~9.23pm

I love intimate gatherings. I had such a lovely time the whole of yest :)

First with my dear winsthin who's ever so patient shopping with me!

Then with cheryl, jeannie, mel and amy! Which was rather impromptu, not only because it was an amy-mel thing but somehow the 3 of us joined in, but also cos I thought I wouldnt be able to make it. But I'm so glad I did! We met at tanjong pagar cos we're supposed to have dinner at tuckshop but they were having a private function so after walking along the 'questionable' streets of ...i'm not sure where, we ended up driving (thanks jeannie!) to arab st and having dinner at this dingy, shisha smelling place serving 'egyption' food, where we had a clear view of a half naked man watching a hindi show.

Last night was the first time ive met up with friends in ages. I'd really love to meet up with more, catching up and just forgetting about all the chores I need to do. But when? I'm almost already packed with stuff to do tmr and fri. And weekends are the days where I just want to sleep in and just slob at home.

Then next week, I have lab sessions.

Well, at least Im glad Im occupied. At least I wont feel like Im wasting my life, bumming around :)

I'm going to catch Enchanted with sumaiya later and then Im meeting Justina :)

Yay! Farah finally has a social life! Yippee!

END POST~11.23am

Things are progressing slowly, but surely :)

I've got 6 participants coming down for lab next week! I was expecting the worse but hurrah! Slowly...slowly....hopefully I can convince the others who havent replied to come down for my lab...IM DESPERATE! Boo.

And Im finally going to start on tonnes of data entry for the various sets of questionnaires I got my participants to fill in (N=approx 220)! Luckily, I've got help! So sweet you are!

Meeting my dear friend Winsthin-formerly-known-as-WinsTONNE in 45 mins time :P

I better run!

END POST~12.44pm

I am on the brink of tears. Ive been coming across websites after websites filled with pure hatred for Islam.

Such ignorance. What a pity. Even in the face of rational debate, people still behave like that. Gosh, dont they know that its only the few who has ruined everything?

Why do people hate us so much?

How can they generalise so easily..so uncaringly like that? And say vile things like that without understanding?

We're people too. We're each different from the other, just as anyone in the world is not the same person as the one beside him. So how can you ignore this fact that not every muslim are like those few who claim to be muslims and yet act otherwise?

Alhamdulillah I live in singapore. You should be too, you know. Despite the rising costs and what some of you may find to be a 'stifling' environment with a bad education system (which I vehemently disagree), you cannot deny that safety and tolerance is way better here than it can ever be anywhere else in the world.

So next time you want to complain, shuddup and be grateful for what you have as a Singaporean living in this mad mad world first.

Sigh. Im gonna watch heroes now.

END POST~9.59pm

Call me inefficient because I just took 5 hours writing my CV up. But that's cos I put a whole lot of love into it :)

END POST~8.47pm

I've busted my left foot. This is a sad but potent reminder to anyone not to exercise barefoot. Ever.

Today, I drove to school. I havent driven in ages so it felt good to be on the road but it was damn scary. I hate lane 1 drivers. Why must they be so bloody impatient? And how come people dont stick to the speed limit? I was minding my own business and this ass from behind (haha.ass..from behind..ok. nevermind), was tailgating me. He had plenty of opportunities to overtake me. I mean its saturday morn for goodness sake. Whats the bloody rush? If you arent happy, bite me. Overtake me for all I care. But no. He tailgated. Till finally, he overtook me and purposely jammed his break when he got in front of me and then sped off. Najib was in the passenger seat and he was so upset. He said that the driver did that on purpose to 'tell me' how slow i was. So Najib honked at the driver cos the driver was rude, aggressive and was plain bullying cos he prob thinks female drivers wont dare honk. Well. I guess that ass should know better by now. Because I WILL honk they next time people do that to me. It's my life you know. Jam breaking like that just because you are not happy with me is extremely immature and irresponsible. I should have noted his license plate no. Jerk.

Anyway, I am officially a lane 2 driver. I cant take it. Lane 1 people are too reckless.

That said, I drove ard campus running some errands after lab, then headed back home to return the car...in one piece :) Alhamdulillah.

Then went for an early dinner with najib..30th month anniversary :) we had chilli crab :) He had to go off before long as his flight was at 830. Sigh. He'll be back on the 19th but I miss him already. Loneliness likes to creep in at night, huh.

Went shopping with my sister. We havent had quality time together for some time so heh, with Najib away, its time to catch up. I must say, tamp mall and century sq has changed A LOT. And I love dressing my sister up. It's like Im shopping vicariously through her. My sister is very pretty, me thinks. She really stands out in any crowd. But she doesnt even know it :)

I think that mozzies are biting my feet as I type this. Itchyyyyyyy....

END POST~12.34am

My legs are aching! I went to pulau ubin with my darling today. He had never been to ubin before and I havent been there since sec 3. Think the last time I was there, I was having my npcc-atc camp :)
The place hasnt changed much as far as I can remember, thankfully. Although I find the place a little bit more kemp. We had an amazing time, walking in the rain, our feet soaked in the muddy pools along the way (my legs were ankle deep in mud), trekking to get a good view of the quary, spotting a snake and weird looking lizards, encountering a rooster I scared off by yelling "Chicky!!!" and seeing the 4 wild boars along the way :)

We only covered the western side of the island though because we were on foot and I was tired. Besides, we will explore the other areas next time. So we hopped on the bum boat out of ubin and into changi village where we ate nasi lemak...again (We had eaten the same thing before we left for ubin).

I'm glad I started off my 'hols' on a good note. I do want to stick to this habit of getting up early in the morning and doing some physical activity. Im trying my best to stay away from the embarrassingly slobish routine I find myself in whenever term break comes along- I'd sleep really late at night and wake up at 10 or 11 and then my life begins after 2pm-

Waking up early will mean I have more time to do things. Things! Oh how many things I have to do before sch starts. I wrote out an entire list of things to settle! Hopefully I can settle them all by the time Nudgie comes back from his vacation.

So what are your plans for dec?

END POST~10.05pm

ONE MORE.

Urgh.

EVO. (runs away)

END POST~11.16am

Exam's tmr and I'm not prepared. In a strange way, I dont care. I mean I care about doing well and doing my best but Im so sick of exams. The whole mugging and writing stuff examiners want to read so they know that I know whats going on and bla bla bla.

Boring, I tell you.

But nooooo, I have 3 more papers. Tmr, sat and next wed.

And so I havent been that motivated to mug. Ive been highly distracted by the littlest things.

I cant believe I used to be such a hardworking person. Yet this sem, Ive gotten lazy and complacent. I deserve what I get in the end. Sigh.

Anyway, that aside, my grandma's in ICU. So I went to see her this morn, despite my dad saying i can visit her after my exams. Oh no no no. I will not repeat the same mistake I made with my other grandma. I didnt visit her two yrs ago when she was in hosp because I had a test and I wanted to study for it first. I told my mom I'd see her the day after. But it was too late. She passed on.

So nenek looked so frail when I first saw her. Tubes sticking in and out of her and all. But then she started talking and stuff and we could joke with each other so Alhamdulillah, I think she's okay. Good thing my sis is on call tonight too. So at least she wont feel alone at night with my sis on watch.

Back to mugging. This one is for my grandma.

END POST~10.30am

Haha. I look so pro.

http://cardiovascularlab.googlepages.com/farahidujion

EXAMS!

Jason Wade has one of the most soothing voices on the face of the earth

I heart Lifehouse.

END POST~12.24pm