A letter...

Dear Health Psych,

Today is Tuesday and I have 2 days before I confront you. I am not afraid of you. On the contrary, you should be afraid of me. I shall disect you, tear you apart and put you back together. And repeat the cycle untill I am done with you.

You will try to trick me, with your ambiguosly formed sentences and fool me by giving me numerous choices which are close to one another but hear me, Health Psych, I WILL NOT FALL PREY.

Till Thursday, my ill-fated foe.

Till Thursday.

I shall be prepared.

The question is, will you be prepared for me?

Yours,

far

Saturday

Managed to negotiate my tuition fees to a respectable amount. Cannot wait till my pay day next week. Im going broke. Been spending too much.

TV's on now. Keanu Reeves looks fatter than expected with his shirt off. Boo.

And contrary to the movie reviews in ST, Pink Panther is actually quite nice. Maybe its the relief from the stress. But i laughed so hard at Inspector Clueso (how do you spell it) :)

Lesson learnt from this week: Start on projects/papers earlier.

What break?

Its been one of the most rushed and stressful week so far this sem. For those who know, you'd know the reason.

A very special shout out of thanks to Cheryl Nott and Chris and Nudgie, my darling for the support you gave me. I wouldnt have been able to finish my 2000 essay in 24 hours had it not been for you guys. And Adeline as well...thanks babe. You were sorta my inspiration. Telling me that you managed to write 3000 words in 2 days really gave me a sense of hope right when i needed it.Gosh, i love you people. And of course, Farhana for helping me out with my surprise for Nudgie on Wednesday when all my plans got messed up. Ahh, Nudgie.....cant believe after coming back from Brunei, you came to my rescue, researching and proof reading and coming to my house to deliver anti-stress goodie bag..And ooh, cheryl lee, my life saver for handing my PR essay for me so i wouldnt have to go to school today.....:)

And to all those who couldnt muster anything but give me a bewildered look and calling me crazy (even implicitly, i can tell) when you heard I had very little time to finish my term paper....GRRRRR. GRRRRR. GRRRRRR.

I DID IT.

Even if, admittedly, it isnt very good, at least i did it. I pushed on. Phew. I need a recharge.

Alamak

ARgjksdaljdrewsmnsGARGHuawsenxewmPOUTjkewrxBOOjskangrgyw

I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.

I have 3 days to finish a 2000 words term paper. And I am still second questioning myself as to whether the topic im doing is feasible. More importantly, i cannot seem to find a matching international research. Darn you papers. COME OUT wherever you are! Published in 1947. Where on earth am i gonna find that? The library only has collection from 70s lah. In the journal section. Ive actually gone thru child development journals dating from 1999 to 2005. I have yet to go thru 1985-1998. Thats like another 13 years. The info is out there. I want it. Please come to me. Soon.

PS: Welcome home, darling :)
(not that i can see you because *mutter mutter* I have a term paper *mutter mutter* so i cant *mutter mutter*. GROWL)

The Broken Road. Nice. :)

I set out on the narrow way
Many years ago,
Hoping i would find true love
Along the broken road.
I got lost a time or two,
Wiped my brow, kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you.

Every long-lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were just northern stars,
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms.
This much i know is true
That god blessed the broken road that led me straight to you

I think about the years i spent
I'd like to find the time i lost and give it back to you.
You just smile and take my hand; you've been there, you understand,
It's all part of a greater plan that is coming true.

Every longlost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were just falling stars,
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms.
This much i know is true
That god blessed the broken road that led me straight to you

Term Break!

WOHOO!

I must remind myself that this isnt a break break. Its a mug-all-you-can-and-do-the-term-papers-properly-and-quickly-so-you-wont-be-stressed-when-school-reopens-so-ARGH-period.

Developmental psych paper and pr reaction paper due on friday. Then, health psych mid-terms on thurs. GARGH.

Had a major crisis yesterday...i think for those whom i talked abt it with would know. Too lazy to type it all out. In sum, i was having doubts as to whether psych is my calling. Its gonna be an incredibly long journey that only the toughest would survive. Will i burn out and crash out of the race by then? Will i get jaded? The theres pr. Then i concluded that i could always take another degree or study more if i find myself dissatisfied when i suddenly realised that hey, studying would require MONEY. Then thought abt the school fees.

SO, anyway, a shitty trip home on the mrt after Ridge's AGM, (amazing how i think abt the future a lot while on the train), i had dinner with my amazing friend Winston...who help me sought everything out. :) Well, you really really untangled the freaking knots in my head, dude. After that, we went on a joyride in Briony's new car...She just passed her driving test. :) Pasir Ris park at night. Gorgeous. Stars, moon, music...breeze :)

Also, thanks yunxian for making me feel better too.

Oohh, and kenneth!! Havent seen you for so long so even though we chatted for less than 10mins, it was really nice! :)

3 more days before i get my nudgie.

THEN AGAIN, THAT WOULD MEAN MY DATELINES ARE NEARING TOO!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHH.

All i want for my 21st

Well, I went to yet another birthday party last night.
Manju's 21st. It was a surprise party although I heard she wasnt surprised.
Still, something stuck with me after last night. I want a party.
And i want all my friends to be there.
Yeah, I realize that it'd be really really nice to have a birthday party...to finally have all your friends in one place, just for me.

But I realize that this will never happen simply because everyones too busy. 25th march is like one month before exams and im pretty sure that’s when deadlines are.

Still, if there is a someone, who is able to organize a party, in which all my friends will be invited to. This someone, or team, will plan everything…and surprise me...then, heh, I would be the happiest person. Hah.

In any case, let me just indulge myself in a fantasy.
If I were to have a humongous party, I’d want all these people there…even tho I may not be close to some of these ppl, it’d still be nice to have them ard….im sure in some way, they’ve made me who I am today. And ooh, these names are the ones that came from the top of my head so apologies, if i forgot someone.

Dunman
Winston
Briony
Farhana
Sabrina
Yuan Man
Widya
Manju
Layhong
The entire NCO girls hafiza,Noreen,etc and boys squad, NPCC. Esp firdaus,jiawei,terence,etc etc
Gracia
Izhar
Leepei
Yunzi
Raj
Kartini
Shikin
Nisha Issacs
Jihan
Aisyah
Armar
Kassim
Rauf
Omar
Nadeem
Luqman
Prashant
Whoever else from 1E, 2-4A whod like to come

JC
The entire 02a53
Adeline,Ave,Amy,Alina,Cheryl,Mel,jeannie,huiboon,
susian,joyce,steph,
Norman,ian,nirwan,chris yeo,vemalan,xiaowen,Joanne,kit,angela
Nabilah
Afidah
Uni
Pearl (from violin)
02MCS

IRAS
Yunxian
Pema
Shareena
Lynn
Jinhong
Huimin
Brenda

NUS
SWAPS 18th exco:
Gene, zhisheng,jean,Eugene,xiaoyan,chinyong,shaun o,
Shaun G, Kim, charmaine, giang, julaina,justina,linyen,Joanna,
Karina
Chris ong
Cheryl Nott
Genevieve
Katherine
Kenneth
Liangcai
Wantsin
Wani
Anah

Teachers
Mdm Suharni
Mrs Neo (yes, e principal. Why not. Fantasy party)
Ms Goh!!
Mrs Ng (lau kao. Hahhahah.)

Family (Although, I would prefer a seperate, small scall thingy with my family)
Mom, dad, brother, brother, sister, nenek.

Najib.

That’s like 95 people. Heh, good luck, mysterious surprise birthday planner. Haha.

I think I'll have to wait till my wedding day.

Drama-kemama

My gosh. Student activism in NUS? GASP.

Silent protest by wearing black on thurs? (darn it, i was already planning to wear black tmr..even before this brouhaha.)
A mass university scale sit out?
Personal attacks to the president of the SU?

All this because people are unhappy with the increase in school fees and with the current NUS Student union?

My my my my my.

Cant fight the power, people. Face it. Thats what happened to SWAPS VS DEPT. Thats whats gonna happen to NUSSU VS UNI and know what? The entire student population making noise reminds me of certain people in a certain year of a certain major who made noise during swaps agm but didnt do nothing when they could have. Oh puhlease.

Politics is a sticky tricky thing if you ask me.

Balik kampung lah. All of you. Just go study can? Make use of central library. Make use of the electricity in the classroom. Make use of anything you want and can in school to appease your unhappiness. Get your degree and get the heck out.

Still, it is brilliant fun to read the numerous disgruntled posts!

Wantlist ver 1.0

In no particular order of preference....

- Brown jacket
- Earring holder (cos i have too many earrings sprawling all over my cupboard)
- A surprise birthday party (hur hur)
- Bag
- Shoes
- Massage. Better still, an OSIM chair
- Roller blades, with wrist and knee guards
- A more functioning and thinking brain who can get me a CAP of 5.0
- A treat at the hair saloon, which includes a haircut and dye (cos my darn whites
are showing already)
- Jeannie's black dress
- Shades
- Tops. Need more tops.
- Jeans
- A personal trainer who'd help me lose weight before i turn 21.
- A car I can drive to school in
- A printer

Thats what ive come up with so far...hey, can someone teach me how to strike a word out? Like ___________ but across the word?? Need to do that so i wont get 2 of the same things. Anyhoo, this is only a draft. The final one would be up on 25th Feb so thats one month to make necessary arrangements. :)

PS: My dad thinks im shameless and despicable for demanding things. Look at it this way. Im helping you so you wouldnt have to think "What shall i give farah" in the event youre thinkng of giving me something, of course.

Husky

I am losing my voice!!!!!! I dont even know why.

Anyway, thank you so much jeannie for having me over yesterday. You looked SO pretty!!!!!! I want your dress!!! Heh, is it free size? Gosh, i love the whole outfit. The hair was so 50s..and the dress.....argh...i want the dress!!!
Check out Ave's blog for pics :)

So got home late last night only to discover that I had a paper due the next morning. Thankfully, i drafted something up on tuesday..so phew...just needed to tweek here and there.

Got to speak to nudgie last night too. His mom is gonna kill him when e bill arrives.

Hmm. Something about sleep deprivation and language ability. I realise that when i lack sleep, i dont make sense. Thoughts are disjointed. I forget what i would like to say to people. I cant remember things.

And i become a shoperholic.

I bought 5 pair of earring and a flip flop.

(grin)

The Lone Ranger

Sometime back, I published a post, admitting how much I am afraid of loneliness. To wake up one day and realise that I have no one, besides family, to spend time with and to do fun stuff with. Even earlier than that post, was a one wherein I questioned whether certain connection I feel with people only relates to the domain of studies, after which, zilch.

And so with the effects of the 3-day week (with minimal breaks) coming into play, I begin to notice how my previous posts carried with them certain elements of truth. Im losing touch with people. And i cant help but feel that they too, have forgotten about me. With the exception of one person, I hardly share modules with my other friends. I try to have lunch with another yet we both find it difficult to meet up. I try to blend once again every fri for lunch w another grp but for the past few times, i did, i felt left out.

Gosh, i sound like im wallowing in self-pity eh? Haha. Yeah, i suppose having free time at home does make you think abt things a lot. Doesnt help that Farhana's busy with school, najib's overseas and Winston's well, busy i suppose. Everyone's busy. I should be too. Maybe at least then, i can keep myself from wandering into insecure thoughts. Heh, i was showering when i tried to imagine who would actually turn up for my 21st birthday party. Im not gonna have one, by the way. Bad timing. Everyone, including me, will have term papers due and all. Too much hype about the 21st. In fact, im not expecting anything from anyone except close friends (u better) and family. But heh, just for kicks, i will still come up with a birthday wishlist.

Ok lah, should not sound so pessimistic lah. I know you guys are busy. But that doesnt mean you wont be there right? Besides, I know of a friend who seldom talks to me but when we do chat, it can last for hours! Right, Kat? :)

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think i need a shot of happy hormones and stop whining!

Going for a swim tmr...cant wait :)

Comics

Sometimes, you shouldnt hide under the banner of 'freedom of speech' when you know that half the world's gonna be a mess because of what you say, drew or did. With 'freedom of speech' comes responsibility, you know.

Im so glad I live in this country. At least we're not as hot-headed nor insensitive enough to cause an international uproar. I agree with the gov. We must NEVER ever take racial/religious harmony for granted. It only takes a spark, to set the fire going.

Peace. I really do want world peace. I mean seriously. And greater understanding.

N

Tonight was super.

Thank you so much, for everything.

I love you.

:)

RING!!!!

AHDUIIIII!!!!!!!!

Shut up already! In the central lib now using the pc to print stuff out. And the stupid firebell is ringing. Amazingly, the ppl ard me have like this in-built mechanism to shut the noise out.

WAH. Thank God, its stopped. Haha, if there was really a real fire, i think we might actually die here, glued to the pcs. After all, now theres a one hour limit before the pc automatically shuts down. Fantastic policy if you ask me! :)

Just finished zapping health psych readings. Met Huijun in the lib and i saw her zapping dev readings. GARGH. More stuff to print.

I think i need to invest in a new printer at home, which doesnt require me flip the pages manually in the event i want to print double sided.

Right. Next lesson's at 4pm. I better make use of my time wisely.

Sw1101E

Groan.
I admit, one of the reasons Im taking SW is because I would very much like to score and pull my cap up. Another reason is that with the intro mod, i am able to take other sw modules which requires it as a pre-req. However, those who know me would know which one im more concern with.

So anyway, lectures have been absolutely boring. "Bored to tears" as a tutorial mate of mine mentioned earlier today. And the readings. OH MY GOSH the readings. But hey, wantsin and cheryl got thru the mod without doing the readings right? :/

Tutorial today was dratful. I was compelled to join several people for the tutorial discussion. The most horrifying group ever. It was like trying to squeeze blood from a rock, trying to get them to air their views. There were 5 of us. Lets call them Tomboy, Princess, Mouse and Kiddo and me. Kiddo was ok. At least he made an attempt. Tomboy and princess were so sulky as tho they were forced to join the module because they committed petty theft or the like and was sent down to be punished. Mouse was well, mousey. ARGH.

Thank goodness discussion groups are not fixed. Im so not gonna sit near them again. I quickly made friends with more farah friendly people after tutorial :)

Tmr's PR lect AND dev psych lect is cancelled. Gonna go to school for a 10-11am make-up health tut and sw lect (God, help me) from 4-6pm.

Then HOME. Then tuition the next day (woohooo...after a long hiatus, i cannot wait to have cash inflow)then....Im not too sure what.

But one thing is for sure.

I need to start studying and keep up with my readings.

PS: Jeannie and I signed up for Salsa lessons :) Haha. I know.

Neoprints?!

I feel sick. I cant believe my nudgie and I succumbed to the neo-print madness albeit 5/6 years late. The boyfriend had never taken a neoprint before so as much as I had always been against it, what the heck, might as well.

My gosh, i felt so embarrased to enter the ultra pink shop (yes, my blog is pink but this is different) at century square. Surrounded by secondary school kids. EEK. Then, we went into the machine and everything happened so bleeping fast! It didnt help that the instructions were in japanese and we were like "HUH?? POSE, SMILE LAUGH" in that order. It was admittedly fun and i suppose the "adrenalin" possessed us to take ANOTHER one at tamp mall. At least the one there was in english.

But you know what? We both felt superbly dizzy and felt like hurling after looking at the photos again and again, shaking our heads in disbelief. As in, at first, there were kinda nice but the more we looked at them, the more we felt so jelak of it..it was so....so....."kawaii". YUCK.

So we've both resolved not to look at them more than once a month. Haha. We even thought of throwing them away. But no, must not waste money. Besides, quite memorable...the stupid things we do together! Haha.

Anyway, he accompanied me at the lib as i mugged and he finished his assignment. Apparently, ocs gives them reports to do and stuff. So yeah, i can actually STUDY with him around. :)

Yesterday was nice too..went to ave's place for CNY. Must credit her parents and )ave too :)) for their hospitality. I really really felt overwhelmed that they made accomodations for me.

Nudgie met Jeannie yesterday. He remarked that all my friends are bubbly. Really ah? I mean he's met Cheryl, justina, yunxian, winston, briony, farhana and several others...hey, yeah, i am noticing a pattern! Most of my friends are really jovial people! :)

Happy New Year

Today is also the Islamic new year which I suspect not very many people actually notice. It incidentally coincides with the lunar new year because of reasons to do with the way the lunar calendar, islamic calendar and gregorian calendar are as so. Basically, I read about it somewhere about the way each calendar functions but truth be told, i wasnt really interested in that article very much.

And so, I am here today. Just came back from my nenek's place. She arrived in singapore yesterday after her Haj pilgrimage. She told us stories about how unorderly people from other countries are as opposed to their asian counterparts. It all boils down to the fact that when people from many different cultures congregate, many fascinating and simultaneously frightening experiences can be expected. Yet, my aunt told us, that it is also the most beautiful thing of all. To witness people from all parts of the world, with different languages, cultures, experiences, socio-economic nuances coming together for Allah :)

Shop N Run

Went shopping with my darling yest :) He bought me an Esprit wallet and a pair of nice shoes!! I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEE my darling so much!

Then, we went for a nice slow jog till the end of pasir ris park...and i got my well-deserved foot massage. hehe.

Oh ya, yesterday was so peaceful. As in even in town,peak hour mind you, there were so few people (relatively speaking) and on our way home, the mrt and the interchange were nice and quiet. Ahh...if only everyday was like this.

Oh yes, Gong Xi Fa Cai!

FATigue

I walked out of Social work lect yest. I couldnt take it. The guy kept going on and on and on and did not even offer the class a lect break. EVIL. A friday evening lecture some more. So i left at and returned a while later only to discover, as soon as mu butt touched the Lt seat, that class was adjourned. So thats why he didnt give a break. Ah well. I think the lecture is webcasted.

Speaking of webcasts.I ought to remind myself to watch dev psych lect again. Elliot was mumbling and speaking too fast sometimes.

Speaking up. I spoke up in a lecture for the first time. I actually raised my hand to ask my PR lecturer something. Heh, ive always wondered why students (particularly in health psych) do that. And yes, i was one of those people who shoot them dirty looks and yesterday, i was at the receiving end. But now that im one of them, i realise that its not like theyre boasting or being "action-aje menyampah" they actually do earnestly want to contribute to the discussion. I mean, isnt that what students should do? Or is it just in singapore where you stick up like a sore, unlikable thumb, if you speak up? So sad.

Anyway, i was thoroughly spent by the end of the day. I wanted to cry thinking of the journey back home. I guess the pile of social work notes handed to me by ting ting (oh so kind to zap them for me in the first place) kinda added to my already bleah state of mind. THEN, farhana made me travel to science to get her sports medicine book. ARGH. The things you do for friends. So i walked all the way to science co-op after dumping my bag at munchie monkey with yx, justina, ting ting and this dude kyle.

Sat at munchies till 9 plus and finally treated justina and yunxian to their long overdue bdae treat. Must cover that before my birthday lah. :) Amazing how a bunch of people can just sit there, and do nothing. Also, i realise that ive developed an incredible tolerance for people conversing in a different language when around me. I mean if it makes them happy so be it. I shouldnt make noise. I am but one person who should be grateful to have them ard. Either that, or i was just too damn shacked to notice. But seriously, my tolerance has increased ever since i came to NUS. haha.

Then at 9 plus, nudgie FINALLY managed to find Yusof ishak house and we went off. We walked all the way back to arts :) NUS is really nice at night. And we hailed a cab home...and the cab driver adamantly believed he was younger than me. "you call me uncle? Haha, i think i younger than you"

Darn you. GRRRRRR. unless of course you are younger than me lah. But still. BOOO.

PS: im fat. FAT!

PPS: I love CNY!!! wohoo! Long break! :)

:)

Lovely evening, it was. I finished school at 4pm, headed down to the co-op to finally purchase my Health psych book. After perusing the two books, i finally settled on buying Sarrafino's book instead of Ogden. The latter, no doubt is more encompassing and detailed but I bought sarrafino instead because 1) its hardcover, 2) its cheaper 3) most importantly, its better organised.

But no, im not that big a geek to classify my evening as lovely simply because i bought myself a new book. No no no.

I met up with my nudgie!!! Spontaneous date as he had a "night out". So i went to the esplande library and read the first chap of health psych (ah, i am a mugging nerd and im not ashamed of it at all)while waiting for him. He called me around 7 plus but even before i could answer, he hung up. Naturally, i looked around as he tends to hang up once he sees me. So i scanned the lib for him but couldnt find him. Decided to continue reading my book while calling him when suddenly, i felt something brushing against my cheek...

A rose. A big red rose. :) And there he was, dressed in his 'penguin' outfit, looking all charming....we went for dinner at the same place 5/3 went the last time... :) Perfect :)

Oh ya, can you believe, that my nudgie almost became a tv star? Remember the show moulmein high? The lousy drama on a local channel? Hahah. Apparently, he went for the casting after someone came up to him and asked him if he was interested. I dont really know how the conversation came up. Haha, but at least i learnt something new about him....he cant act for nuts! :) And im glad he didnt get the role. Else i wouldnt have him in my life.

Ahh. :)

Midweek and im home :)

Hmm. Im probably gonna regret saying this in a few weeks time..but man! I have nothing to do!!!!

Having a 3-day work week is starting to grow on me. At first I thought i might be making a big mistake by packing everything in 3 days but the more i think about it, the more im convinced that staying home to study is a good idea. After all, i wont need to waste 3 hours of my life each day travelling (not to mention the time spent reeling in from the bleahness of travel when i reach home). PLUS, the days that i AM in school, i dont have long stretches of unnecessary breaks during which i would have extremely long unneccessary lunches (realise i eat significantly faster when i eat alone) and i wouldnt wonder to a certain table somewhere and waste my time while waiting for the next lesson. So in that case, my time would be well spent. I would truly go to school for lessons, and then head on home to concuss.

Hmm. but then that would mean i would have less time to catch up with friends who are no longer taking modules with me. That could be detrimental to my sanity. I hate feeling lonely. Hmm. I suppose wondering to the table would do me some good once in a while. Even weeks on monday i guess. Thats the only time when i have a break lasting more than 2 hours. yes, i will not be anti-social. Cannot afford to.

That said, ive only got one text left to buy. Health psych. Still deciding which book to buy but i really got to get one by this week so i can read up this weekend. Read my PR chap last night and i even started on my first reaction paper. Then i read my Gek lect notes to sleep. Today, i shall print all my lect notes for next week and then read the first chap of my dev text. MUGger me. hehe. I quite enjoy reading my texts actually. I guess its something to do with new books...the smell, the crisp of each page :)

And i cant seem to get an article i read last week out of my head. The one in which a certain actress claims that eating placenta (yes, the thing that provides nourishment from mother to child in the womb) is good for you. My gosh. Thats like tantamount to bordeline cannibalism. Gross. And sheesh, the placenta comes out through the uterus. Double gross. To think she bakes it and eat it makes me wanna throw up. Imagine collecting curdled blood from your menses and baking it. YUCK.

Speaking of revolting things, bombing a place and killing 18 innocent people when your target is focused on one man whom you presumed to be there is barbaric. Why dont you just annihilate the entire planet while you're at it? Shame on you.

First 21st

I went to my first invitation to a friends' 21st Birthday party. My buddy layhong from dunman Npcc. Hadnt met her in ages. When i arrived, none of her dunman friends were there except her bf (of 6 years!). It was a bit awkward for me at first but being the extremely sensitive person that she is, LH made sure to stay by me as much as possible until widya came along. I honestly didnt mind that she was often called away to greet the newly arrived guests, etc. But she still apologised. So polite. So layhong :)Anyway, i managed to catch up with wid. She's into photography so she brought this big camera and we started taking pics.Like 2 hours later, the guys came. Met a lot of old faces there as well, mostly her classmates. I reckon i wont be bumping into them much in future so it was a good occasion to catch up and take photos. It was fun :)


Then, i heard that it was a classmate of mine who passed away. (apparently, i had mistaken this other guy to be the one who died but he was very much alive at the party just now). Jokes aside, Suresh was such a sweet guy. He sat beside me in Sec 1. After sec 1, we didnt really get to talk much but he always smiled whenever i saw him. Wished i had known him better. And now, he's gone. And i didnt even know about it.


Moral of the story? Catch up with your friends whenever you can, particularly the ones you never had a chance to know better and the ones you have not seen in a long time. Just get to know where they are, what theyre doing, etc etc.

To buy or not to buy?

Its the time of the year to visit to the co-op and get my textbooks. Usually, i wouldnt think much before buying but this sem, im taking two UEs. Non major modules. Hence the hesitation. I mean, why would i want to own a social work textbook? I dont even think i will actually use it for this mod...but still.. The PR textbook might come in handy..but 45 buckeroos??? Or should i just get an earlier edition from some senior who's willing to sell it for 25? Or should i just Z@% it?

Then health psych. Do i buy sarrofino's textbook or Odjen textboook? which one?????

That said, at LEAST i bought the dev psych text so i can finally start on my readings. Ive been so bored without anything to read.

And i do feel a bit insecure that i still dont have the remaining textbooks.

Argh.

And tutorial balloting starts tmr night.

This is so cool!

You scored as Psychology. You should be a Psychology major!

Anthropology 100%
Psychology 100%
Biology 92%
Journalism 92%
Theater 75%
English 75%
Sociology 67%
Linguistics 67%
Philosophy 67%
Mathematics 67%
Art 58%
Engineering 50%
Dance 50%
Chemistry 25%

What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with QuizFarm.com

Just another rainy sunday.

Rain. Again.

On the bright side, I can breathe through both nostrills. Ahhhh... :)

Such a nice sleepy-ish weather. Im gonna curl up in bed and start on another Tom Holt book. Gosh. The guy is darn funny. Witty funny. Which is good funny. Cos its intellectual funny. Intellectual=good. There.

School starts tmr. What to wear...what to wear. Hmm. Jeans, t-shirt, sneakers. That's my uniform anyway.
First class: Eva claims rel to health. Starts at 5.30pm. Hope i wont be late.

Rode on cable car for the first time yest :) With my darling :) (who's the only one who can tolerate my mood swings and who's ever so patient that i cant help falling in love with him over and over again.....7 months :) )
Anyway, it was ok lah. Although the seats were rather uncomfortable and the cabin was stuffy.

Alright, gonna enjoy my last sunday of having nothing to do :)

Color Code

Now that ive finally gotten all 5 modules, Im facing yet another problem. Yes, this might sound a little bimbo...but im color coding my modules and i cant think of appropriate colors!!! help!

Any suggestions guys?

Im taking

1) Developmental Psychology
2) Health Psychology
3) Introduction to Social Work
4) Evaluating claims related to Health
5) Principals of Communication Management (Public Relations)

So far, the colors involved are: Yellow, purple, red, blue and green. The problem is, which color suits which module??

SIGH.

Knowledge the Torch of Life

:)

That's Dunman Sec's school motto. I just came back from Dunman. heh, me and my dad decided to pop in to see if things have changed. My my my. A LOT has. For one, there's a security post at the walkway leading to the canteen. Next, Mrs Ng, who's usually be lurking around the atrium isnt there anymore. In fact i saw new faces dressed in the PE teacher-ish gear. The girls no longer wear their skirts above their knees. Not a minah in sight. Haha!! Wow.

And yet, some things never change!! The canteen looks the same. The vendors are still there and the pak cik recognised me. The NPCC room looks the same...and the banner proclaiming the "SYF GOLD award since 2000" brings back memories....and there, in the canteen eating, was my classmate Lee Pei!!! hhahahahha! So coincidental. Saw familiar teachers like Mr Gan, the maths teacher. I didnt get the chance to bump into the others as they were having class. But my gosh...being back there again made me so happy...this heartwarming "ahhh-ness"....fond memories welcomingly came flooding back in. I miss sec school so much. If only the people who made it fonder were there too.Heh, i remember that there was this segment of the canteen that ive was afraid to venture to cos the soccer boys and other mats were always there....hhaha...so silly...then there's the fish pond where my friends and i would take pics in. Then the parade square. Ah, the parade square. And the classroom! The one i had to sit in for detention. :)


And yes, my name's still up there :)

You know what? I want to go back to school. Im ready. Bring it on Year 2 Sem 2. Bring it on.

All Clean :)

Feeling pleased with myself. I finally overcame the inertia to start packing my things properly and got my room in order. I managed to get rid of a lot of old notes and i filed everything up neatly. The result? One a and a half shelf of space for my new books for the coming semester.

And i realise now that i do have a lot of bags.

Anyway, mental note: return Eugene his stats 1 file and return xiaoyan her Stats 2 file. Get rid of the pile of Swaps thingies.

PS: I think im addicted to the indonesian soap opera "Dia" on suria. Gosh. I cant help it!!! That Fi-fi woman is EVIL. I realise that most indonesian villains are cunning deceitful women (who are often played by fantastic actresses). How fantastic? So fantastic that it makes the viewers blood boil each time she appears on screen...and thinking of them simply riles you. ARGH. To make matters worse, they always seem to get their way because the people around them are so stupid. Haha. Okay, im getting carried away. Anyway, indonesian actors are gorgeous.

First Post of The Year 2006

Ive taken quite some time to blog this time. Theres so many things to say! So this is gonna be a rather long post.

I spent NYEve with Najib in the morn/afternoon. We went rollerblading. heh, i can rollerblade now!!! Got caught in the rain and thats most likely the source of my flu. (sniffs). Then met up with Cheryl. Three years in a row we've managed this! :) AT night, what was supposed to be a family dinner at 10 was delayed and was even threateningly on the verge of being cancelled, if not for the super sour face i pulled. So my family went for dinner/supper at 12.30am at Changi Village. Yes, there were Bapuks there. Haha. Every single year, my family would have dinner and a little party together. The little party was gone. But i pray the family get together would still remain...

Then on 1st Jan, my relatives came over. My nenek and almost 4 or 5 families including mine were packed into my humble abode. It was really nice...We had some prayers cum lunch cos my nenek and my aunt is going to Haj. In fact they left at 2am this morn. (Went to the airport but they went into the gate already). It was a very emotional moment when my nenek was leaving my home. We said goodbye and she hugged us and told us to never forget her..and to never forget to pray....you see, she thinks she might not make it back. :( I couldnt help but cry and hugged her so tightly. I pray Allah will look after both my grandma and my aunt....
My maternal aunt and my cousin are leaving tmr morning...i'll be praying for them too.

So with all the leftover food from the previous day, i decided to call in Winston, Briony and Najib for lunch and to watch DVDs. I enjoyed myself...and at least the food was almost finished...i mean...i thought my dad kinda overcooked...and if nobody finished his curry, then for a week, i would have ended up eating leftovers! haha...

And then theres today. Woke up....and realise that i cannot bid in this phase. I only have 2 modules allocated to me right now. Dev and health psych. Hmm.

Im also having the post-holiday blues. I realise that im not big on changes! haha. I had post exam blues and now post holiday. But seriously lah....i dont feel prepared for the next battle. My brain's too rusty and my body's too used to waking up when it feels like it.

I still havent finished the books i borrowed and for goodness sake, my book cupboard's still not cleared of the exams aftermath. I oughta do something about it. Fast.

Why health?

So what if Dr Why is taking health psych? I mean he cant be all THAT bad right? And so what if i have to do APA report? For goodness sake, im a psych student. And if im serious about persuing this as my career, then i ought to be used to doing stats report...

Right????

gulp.

I bid you...splash

Bidding. Yes, bidding started this morning. Realised that they blocked bio psych off for the yr 3s. Okay, so ive got it all planned.

IF i cannot get bio psych, i will take animal behaviour. Which means i will have more points for I/O.
IF i cannot get womens health cos im taking animal beh OR if womens health is too expensive, i will take evaluating claims related to health.

Then im gonna take SW1101 for my UE. So far dev psych is not so hot so im hoping to get the mod.

I have only 693 points in my prog acc. I realise that psych students are poor students. But you know why? Cos theyre kanchong spiders who want their modules so bad (even tho eventually, they have to take the module, refer to abnormal psych last sem) that they become myopic. They dont think about their subsequent future. I mean youre gonna be bankrupt if you keep bidding at insanely high numbers. Sheesh. And because of this herd mentality, the entire bunch of students from this major dont have enough points for other modules. Sigh.

Anyway, that aside, i do hope i get what i want. If not, i'll just live with it and do my best. No point fussing. :)

Went swimming today. Did 1.1km. Ahh. So nice. Although it was freezing cos it was drizzling. But the pool was lovely. Empty. Peaceful. Till the drizzle stopped and people started to come in. Still..i love swimming. How many times have i mentioned that on my blog?

Havent really been blogging lately cos ive been lazy. Went out on tues to the metro sale at the expo. Then on wed i went out with my sis. Bought clothes!!!!! :P

Hmm. Ive yet to complete the book i borrowed from the lib. Ive yet to lose the weight i piled on after the exams. I just wish the hols would last longer...

Anyway, im off! gotta call a certain someone :)

I dont wanna go back to school syndrome.

I think that im a huge believer in the seasonal affect disorder. Not that im suffering from it..but im beginning to suspect i may be.

I DONT WANNA GO BACK TO SCHOOL. GArgh. Now that christmas is over (not that i celebrate it..but well, its like an indicator to me, reminding me how many more days i have left to the new year), soon, it'll be new year's day and then, school.

In fact, i feel as though school has already somewhat begun! Planning for modules is one of the most frightening, if not stressful, moments of my semester life. Sometimes, i feel that this is THE most important time. Cos if you choose the wrong mod, youre stuck with it. And if you dislike it at the beginning, chances are, you'll hate it and suffer through it for the rest of the sem (refer to EL1101). Then there's the timetable planning. To prioritise the exams schedule or the daily schedule. To get a free day on this day or that day. So frustrating. BUT the scariest thing is really not knowing what else to take!!!

Im dropping French. Oh yes, i sure am. Au Revoir. C'est finis pour moi.

Im sure of bio psych and developmental psych. Still deciding bet health psych or industrial/organisational psych. Apparently, the former requires an APA report to be done while the latter involves an extremely boring lady lecturer. Then, im thinking of women's health and changes in her lifespan as my science GEM. So im left with breadth modules to clear..and UEs. I need a module i can crap thru and get an A. Hmm.

Can you imagine, that i didnt even realise that i was stressed about school till last night? I mean, ive been irritable the past 2 days and ive been taking it out on najib. Then i realise last night, when he asked me whats wrong...and i just said that one line (read title) and this floodgate of fear/anxiety opened. And i started crying...im not ready for school. I just am not. Next sem is gonna be another tough sem. And it doesnt help that i wanna do better than this sem. I must. I know i can but i know that ive gotta work hard...really hard. And thats what scares me. What if i work hard and i dont deliver the grades?

But, he made me feel so much better. He said that i should just plan the best i can..and whichever mods are allocated to me, ive just got to suck it up and do my best. I suppose so.

So does any one out there know any mods that i can get an A for sure?

Seasons Greetings!

Merry Christmas to all my Christian/Catholic friends.

Thanks to all who sent me a X'mas card...haha..:)

Hmm..was reading the papers just now..and smack on the cover page of Life, there's a photo of this pretty 26 year old girl. She looked so familiar...and her name...Sham Van smt smt...And then i realised...that its my mom's cousin's daughter...which makes her what? My second cousin? Shamunas..thats her name. I havent seen her in ages but she looks the same. Anyhow, my mom was shocked when i told her that the article is abt her battling w breast cancer. Nobody knew. I mean when her mom and bro came over last year, they didnt mention anything...ah well..i guess maybe it was hard on them too.

Tonight im heading to my aunt's house...to baca-baca(pray) for my grandma...

Hmm. im supposed to buy my bed. Cos my bed-frame is falling apart..cos 12 years ago, my brother was moronic enough to jump on my bed. He ran from the door and landed on my new bed (the day when my bed arrived) and from that day, my bed has been creaking since. The creaking's gotten worse and the bed might actually collapse if i dont get myself a new one.

That aside, i feel like eating chocs now. I need something sweet. Gargh. Must control self.

And bleah.Bidding starts next week....but im still deciding which mods to take...realised that i do have the gift of crapping. Remember the Singapore Society module that i thought id miserably flop??? Well, heh, thats my best module!! :) So im trying to pick mods that im good at.....still looking....

My body is still aching. Every inch of my body. The badminton on thurs was great, ade! :) Altho it would have been sweet to thrash that couple beside us!

Alright. Im gonna hunt for chocs now. Im sure theres some chocs somewhere in this house.

PS: Wallace and Gromit is a positively fantastic movie. Its probably the best non-human movie made this year.

Results

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.
You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.

At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.
What Temperament are you

Haha..ta-da! My results for the above test.

What were you expecting? Oh, you mean the my yr 2 sem 1 results?

Well, to all who'd like to know, Alhamdulillah, I think i did well! Ive improved and this is my best sem so far! Full steam ahead Farah!!!!!! Wohoo! Thank God :) :) :)

I see the light. Sorta.

I love each and every one of you. Thank you for making me feel better.

And yes, i guess the last entry was written in a pique(suddenly forgotten how to spell this) of anger. The issue about my dad's reaction to Najib and all, I guess i can understand. He just doesnt want me to end up hurt and into the wrong hands.

Ive put myself in his place and true enough, if i were to have a daughter going out with a good-looking dude who's not from the same school as her and whom she met through a friend, who's in NS (and hence could be a horny little bugger of a fella) and who's future is rather uncertain until he completes NS, I'll be freaking nervous as well. In fact, i'll be so shit scared for her, i'll lock her up in the room till she's 30. Haha. But that's me. :)

Ya la...my dad just loves me too much. I mean, at least i have a dad who loves me and cares albeit in an authoritarion manner. But the one thing that still bugs me is the fact that he didnt know my major, what i study in school etc. That, i simply cannot understand.

Anyhoo, let me get this straight. Im still talking with my dad...and everything's like normal...except the fact that when i go out, i feel like im in sec school all over again. Having to report where im gg, with whom and what time i'll be back. I mean, he didnt say that i must tell him all the above...but i think i get the hint. Ive been too free since ive been in uni. I mean whenever he asks me where im going, i'd usually say "out with my friends". And i guess its wrong on my part.

Its only right for me to be clearer now. If it would enable him to trust me, then so be it.

Tippy Toes

Ok.

So i thought telling my dad and coming clean abt Najib was a great idea. Perhaps in the long run it is. But my gosh. I feel like pulling my hair out. Now everytime i go out, he'll think im gg out with najib. Everytime im on the phone, he'll think its with najib. And worse, his assumptions are always manifested by his expression of extreme displeasure which he ostentaciously displays. I mean WHAT????!!!!!!!!

What do you want me to do? Mop around at home doing NOTHING? They dont call this the holidays for nothing you know. Sheesh. I understand your concerns. I guess this may have come as a shock to you. Well, im gonna shock you even more. Im 20. yes, im no longer a mindless teenager. I never was, to begin with.

Why is it that parents always think the best of their kids? Yet at the same time, assume that their kids are mindless people who would follow their peers? For goodness sake, im not that weak-willed.

I really thought that coming clean would mean that i'd feel better. That i dont need to lie abt where im going and with whom. But this seems to have backfired. I seem to be having to explain myself more! Take yesterday....i was calling yunxian and he thought i was having a chat with najib late at night. I mean why do i have to keep validating myself?

would you prefer me to keep you in the dark next time? I mean, for the past 6 months, keeping mum worked fine for me....at least telling sis and mom was great...telling you? Maybe it was a mistake. You'll never like any guy i bring home, would you?

And now, thanks to you, i feel guilty for my feelings towards my own boyfriend. Thanks a lot.

Worse, you had to bring up everything else. But the part that hurt me the most was that you thought that i lack direction. You thought that i have no idea what im studying in NUS. You thought that im still deciding between French studies and Psychology.

There is NO such thing as French studies. Im taking them as electives. And yes, im dropping them. But you werent listening, were you.

Maybe i'll never measure up to my siblings. You seem to take more interest in their lives than mine anyway.

Gosh, i love you but im so fed-up with you.

And how can you be so mean and quick to judge? So what if i hang out with my friends from dunman? Just because they're from dunman doesnt make them bad people. You can be so arrogant sometimes. Who do you expect me to hang out with, seriously? I do go out with my JC classmates. If it helps, they're from VJ. V. So why were you still so disapproving on sat that you had to ruin my already soiled mood? I do hang out with NUS people as well. I see them ALL the time. Yet do you take that into consideration? That the reason i love spending time with my dunman friends is cos i rarely spend time w them during term time and catching up with them makes me happy? Of course you dont.

Let go. Gripping me too tightly would only push me away. Let go.

PS: The reason im not going out with any guy from NUS is because there was NONE that i was interested in nor, more importantly, was there ANY that were interested in me. SO there. What? You want me to put a personal add on IVLE? And so-bloody-what if theyre from uni? That doesnt make them saints automatically.

What-a-weekend.

Point of the day: I am a bad pms-er> I get bored easily> When i get bored, i switch off.

That aside, I left early from the class gathering just now. Unfortunately, I wasnt in the right state of...being. Refer to point above. Sigh.

Gosh. Where do i begin? Im exhausted.

First, I went to Najib's 'Social Nite' on Friday evening. It was ok. Met several of his friends. Bumped into June..the senior from swaps. Heh, met Najib's bunkmate. He brought his 6 year old sister as his date. So cute.

BUT that wasnt the highlight of the day. No, no no. It was before social nite.

Najib met my parents.

It was D-day. I always thought i'd bring him home only after he ORD but apparently, some plans had to change. My dad asked me where i was going. I tried my darnest to evade the question. I mean, if i said Safti, it would seem a little strange, now wouldnt it? So i cracked under pressure and told my dad. My dad then talked about responsibility, yadda yadda yadda...how the family should know who my friends are...who im going out with..that the family can give helpful comments on a person's character.

And so, Najib met them all. Except one of my brothers. Thankfully, all went well. And i left with him to attend the party. :)

Im so glad that its out in the open now. Only thing, my dad assumes he's a friend. Ah well. At least he know Najib exists. So im glad. And a huge huge sigh of relief.

:) My darling came to my house! :)

That aside, im also feeling a tad guilty now. I was on my way home just now and this man came up to at the mrt stat. He was, well, to summarise, trying to get to know me. I mean, he seems like a decent guy...He's a systems engineer from Qatar. He asked me if i was available. Haha. Of course, i said no. 1)he's a stranger 2) its true.
But i still feel guilty. He seems really like a nice guy. So poor thing. Working away from home which is like miles and miles away. I just hope he finds the right companion for himself.

Im tired. Gonna sleep early today. And not go out for the next couple of days. Im gonna stay home more often. I just think I should.

PS: My wisdom teeth (not tooth) are coming out. 2 on top. 1 below. Why?

Updates

I dont really know why but i cant seem to remember what i was doing yesterday or the day before, etc. I seem to live day to day. I mean i had to refer to my organiser to refresh my memory on what ive been doing over the past few days! Am i growing old? Or is my brain getting real rusty?

Anyway, on monday i went for a meeting with the Ridge. Gotta churn my bit for Jan's issue by this sunday. I spent the entire day with my dad after that. :) Went swimming. I swam 1km. Of course not non-stop lah. But i was satisfied. Hey, does anyone know what i can do to make sure my hair's not all dry after swimming?

Then on tuesday, i met up with Pema. Instead of the usual boring lunch/dinner/MEAL met up, we explored Arab street and went into the little shops. Heh, felt like a tourist in my own country. Next up, Little india. I mean i usually go to these places by car and with e family...we hardly go into the little shops so tuesday was nice :) Then i watched the DVD 'Sisterhood of the travelling pants". I admit the title seems strange but its a really nice ahhhhh movie. Alexis Bedel is acting in it. She's also plays Rory in Gilmore Girls.

Yesterday was slack day. Watched Kill Bill Vol 2 finally..then met up with sharena for a while..

Today. Hmm. today. Im supposed to go blading with karina....then theres kim and char's chalet/bbq which i dont think i can attend cos im meeting up w sha again so she can pass me some stuff for tmr.

Tmr is my darling's Social Nite. Silly that the guys have to bring dates or get guard duty or smt. Haha. Yep.

Sat is A53's outing!!! :) 7pm Esplanade.

Have i mentioned that my tuition kids would only resume tuition in feb??? FEB!!!! which means farah will have to keep a tight purse. Must stop splurging!!

However, the most pressing issue: To drop or not to drop out of SEP. Need to make the decision by 1700. :X

Spontaneous Sunday

Wohoo! Ive never laughed so much and so hard in a long time! Had a spontaneous catch up session with winston, briony and farhana. Thanks for a wonderful time guys! And i really hope our plans to travel next May materialises! Today was fun fun fun. :)

Cant wait for the 02a53 gathering this coming saturday either!

On a side note, I learnt how to cook Mee Rebus from nenek today too. Pretty easy actually.

Sunny mornings makes me feel happy

Woke up early(by my standards) today cos the glorious sun was burning my feet.

Such lovely weather. Wonder what i should do today...absolutely no plans.
There's something about waking up on a sunny saturday with no plans for the day. There's a sense of serenity i cant quite explain :)

Maybe im feeling at peace with myself cos i went running last night. Finally. And im rather pleased with myself. I ran non stop and at a constant speed which i deem to be decent. I wasnt chugging (i dont think theres such a word but it sounds like the word i mean) away...i was running leisurely. I was enjoying myself.

Now i wait...for the aches.

The NINTH?

Think i need to get a new pair of slippers/sandals.

Anyway, i think im getting the hang of doing nothing. Im amazed how time seems to fly by when you do nothing. Its like the 9th of dec already! What have i accomplised over the hols so far? Zilch.

:)

Im proud of myself. Its been a long time since i was last a professional bummer.

Heh, thanks guys, for the books recommended. But guess what? As soon as i typed the previous entry, i decided to look through my bookshelves for books ive never read before. Lo and behold....

Vile Bodies-Evelyn Waugh

:)

That will do for now.

Word of the day

Word of the Day for Tuesday December 6, 2005

logorrhea \law-guh-REE-uh\, noun: Excessive talkativeness or wordiness.

By his own measure, he is a man of many contradictions, beginning with the fact that he is famous as a listener but suffers from "a touch of logorrhea."

He is so [1]voluble that one wonders how his subjects get a word in edgewise. --Mel Gussow, "Listener, Talker, Now Literary Lion: It's Official." [2]New York Times, June 17, 1997

It's also not good if your date has logorrhea. --Monte Williams, "8 Minutes in the Life of a Jewish Single: Not Attracted? Next!" [3]New York Times, March 5, 2000

Mr. King, who possesses an enviable superabundance of imagination, suffers from a less enviable logorrhea. --Michele Slung, "Scare Tactics." [4]New York Times, May 10, 1981


There you go. There is A word for verbal diarrhea (cant stand this word. HOW do you spell it)

Books

I cant remember when was the last time I read a cheem book thats

1) a page turner
2) that makes me think
3) that requires me to have a dictionary beside me (in case i dont understand some words)
4) that's painful to begin but which leaves me satisfied at the end of the book

Anyone out there can recommend me some titles? :)

Sun's out! woohoo!

Just came back from swimming! Went with my daddy :) Ahhhhh.....so nice to feel the waters...plus the pool was relatively empty except for a bunch of weirdos sun tanning at 12 noon.

I think im a coat darker. Darn. Prefer swimming in the evening but ah well...with unpredictable weather these days, if the sun's out, cease the opportunity to do something outdoors! Its lovely to soak up the sun :)

Drove there and back. Its been a long time since i drove around.

I love swimming.....heck, anything's better than jogging!! Haha. Man, WHEN was the last time i ran? Im too embarrased to even think about it.

Soon though....Soon.

Did i mention?

That i have a new haircut?

That im bored?

That ive put on so much weight this year?

That i planned to do so many things to get rid of it but im doing nothing about it?

That my hair is taking over my life?

Hmm.

I need to eat less and exercise more.

Yeah, maybe i'll go run tmr.

Light me up!

I love going out with my darling. He makes me so happy :)

Went to orchard and walked about. Pretty lights all around. There's a photograph exhibition going on outside wheelock place, by some french dude. You guys should really have a look at them. Magnificent aerial views.

Anyway, read from yunxian's blog that results will be out on the 22nd. Heh.

Went out with mom, dad and sis today. Walked all around..looking for shoes for my sis and a pair of black pants pour moi. I mean, everyone should have a decent pair of black pants. Finally found one that doesnt amplify the size of my ass and hips. Its SO hard okay.

Anyway, I played the drums today!!!!! My dad was jamming (yes, he does..hahah) and i asked if i could try...so i did! For an entire song..though my sister was grimacing. Haha, i played to "Cant help falling in love" as my dad sang and his friend played the guitar. hehehhehe

So fun. I wanna learn how to play the drums proper!! :)

Last night

Yesterday's meet up with aisyah, ju and tini was really nice. Heh, realise that you can NEVER judge a book by its cover. Man, found out a whole load more about them. Yeah, it was nice seeing them again. And haha, probably minutes of my life were taken away as i sat among them and had to inhale the cigarette fumes. Amazing how many sticks they puffed while we chatted at starbucks. Still, the atmosphere, sans smoke, was great. And for a moment, just for a tiny flash of a moment, i wanted to try what it feels like to smoke...one of em told me that your head would feel disconnected from your body..haha. Yeah, but dont want lah. I think cholestorol from my present diet would be be enough to kill me. I dont need smt extra to kill me now do i?

We hung out at starbucks near borders. Bloody hell. Everyone there smoked. My hair stinks. And my throat felt so burnt. Haha. Sat there for like hours man.

Then at 1o, we made our way back to city hall. Met Rauf and presumably his date. Haha. Mini dunman gathering! There, i met up with najib. So gorgeous in his formal attire. But my gosh. He's so freaking shy. I was with my friends at the platform and as he came nearer, he slowed down and he was like "so many people". Sheesh. So we left...pity i didnt really intro him to them. Najib, you are too shy for your own good!!!! Those were my really gd friends you know!! Nevermind, next time! Sigh.

And boo. Im not gg wakeboarding anymore. :(

Friday already?

Surprisingly, my butt and right arm still aches from tue's badminton. Heh, im so unfit. Couldnt last 1/2 hour without feeling like im gonna collapse. Never mind, no pain no gain. Im gonna go running tmr. Hahah. Right.

Goint out with a few sec sch friends. No idea what we're gonna be doing but theyre a spontaneous bunch to be with so heh, wonder what will happen.

Karina!!! I wanna go wakeboarding!! But wait, is 80 bucks cheap? But i dont mind! I wanted to try last sem but i had no one to go with :(

Anyhoo, Im thinking of dropping french. Dad wasnt too happy bout that. I bet he thinks that im the kind of person who quits when the going gets tough. But seriously, i really do love french...but if its gonna suck my cap down, shouldnt i just cut and run? I mean, logically, i should. I want to do honours in psych..not french for goodness sake!

Thinking of taking mandarin. Fiza says its fun...plus i can absolutely guarantee that i have friends to teach and communicate with me. Heck, look around! Haha. Unlike French!

Anyway, gonna get the book from her and yunxian's gonna tutor me!! :)

Still, im not sure, its kinda sad to drop french. Dont know lah. Darn module preference exercise is making me think of the modules to take for next sem already. So far, im thinking of taking biological psych, develomental psych and i/o psych. Wanted to take a level 4000 module called advanced abnormal psych. I emailed the HOD but he said that i should have to wait till my 4th year to take it cos level 4000s are for honour year students. yeah. IF i get to do my honours.

Yeah, so thats 3 modules....if i take LAC1201, then i need one more.....but what? I cant stand any other faculty modules....eek.

Any suggestion? Preferably a module i can ace? hehe

Im a chicken

I admit it. Im a scaredy cat.

Couldnt sleep last night cos i was shit scared after watching the exorcism of emily rose. Hey, you must understand. The movie ended at 12 midnight. The mall was empty. It was raining heavily. Worse, i had to sleep in the hall all alone.

I tried shutting the movie out. Tried watching something on channel 5 but everything was to no avail. I was hypersensitive to everything ard me. What was that? etc.
SO i went online..chatted with cheryl and nabilah. Helped a little..then farhana had to remind me that 3am was coming. Darn her. For those who watched the show you'd understand the significance of 3am.

Told myself..."sleep farah..its just a show...its just a show". so i hid under my blanket. So hot. But i was so scared to move. Then i fell asleep with my mp3 tunes playing in my ear. But nooooo, dunno why, i had to wake up at 2.45am. Exactly. Shits. Someone had switched the lights off. Great.

I was like okay.....what should i do?? SO, i hurriedly picked my pillows, blankey and everything else and adjourned to my parents room. Settled down on the floor next to their bed. Tried to sleep..but i couldnt....i was facing the toilet door...eek. Toilets arent exactly friendly places at night are they? SO i crawled in bed, beside my mom...woke her and told her i couldnt sleep cos im scared...she moved and made space for me and i hugged her to sleep.

This morn i woke up and my dad laughed at me. Tried to scare me. Sheesh.

Youre probably laughing too. But my goodness. I was damn scared lah. So relieved to see daylight.

Interests

Ive just come to realise that finding people of similar interests is actually quite hard. I mean, your idea of a good time and hanging out may be different from someone else. My point is, that you can be friends, but ultimately, your friends may not share/enjoy the things you do.

Like for instance, as i was bored, i decided to think of people who like to do what i like to do...etc. And sadly, i realise that most of the friends are the sorta friends that i can only relate to in school. you know, like bitching abt modules and the like and talk abt life and all. Theyre great people to actually sit down for a meal/movie and maybe that kind of hang out.

But how bout other stuff? The only badminton kaki i have is adeline...are there any more of you guys who like to play too?? i mean you cant play badminton alone!!
And how bout more outdoorsy kinda ppl? Anyone wants (and can) go for trekking etc etc?
How bout snorkelling? And running (ok, i have farhana to cover this) and blading (thanks karina) and other fun stuff?

Shopping is okay...but even so, the only person i ever enjoy shopping with is my sister.

Haiya, bottom line, when i go out with friends, must it always be over a meal? No wonder im fat.
Boo.

Or maybe i just dont know people well enough as i ought to?

Is there anything else thats interesting?? Huh?
I really dont mind watching movie/dinner/lunch etc...but surely there's more that friends can do right?

will i ever find people who can tolerate me and who share similar interests so that travelling with them would be fun? I would very much like to travel with friends....but with who??

SIGH.

Monday and missing my darling

So, apparently, i did nothing on friday and saturday. Its okay. 2 wasted days. I was sick..and tired on friday. Felt thoroughly down cos i had absolutely nothing to do. Then plans on saturday didnt happen...but luckily, sunday made up for it and the weekend ended on a nice note. Thanks, baby :)

Was a bit bummed that i cant have the whole week with him. That was the original plan. After his BSLC, he'd have a one week break...BUT, he was selected for something and hence, he had to book in this morning. Still, at least after months of not going out with him, that one day was really refreshing :) Im so proud him. OCS. :) $$$ :) :) :) hehheheheheh. Kidding lah. But Chris says that they earn much more than other people...hmm.

So i sent out like mass sms to some old friends to make plans for this week. Ok lah, im playing badminton with cheryl and marisa tmr and later im watching movie with farhana at night, then watching harry potter with sis on wed...then thurs/fri might go out with tini/kin/ju. Not sure bout that. At least im gg out. Sigh. Or maybe i shouldnt go out so much. I should stay home. Hang out here more often.

Anyway, if youre bored, you know where to find me.

Contemplating of getting a new phone plan. But that would mean i gotta change my number. But the plan is like way way cheaper than my current one and i get 1000 free smses. thats nuts man! :) :) :)
But to get a new handphone number? Ive had this one since i was 15!!

Anyway, winston and kenneth, how come i cant access your blog?

Karina just asked me if im thinking of getting a job. That never occured to me. And no, i dont wanna work. Had enough of work during term time. I wanna have fun. But how does one have fun alone? FRIENDS!!! where art thou?

Hmm, my student did well for her PSLE. Am proud of her. Wonder if they'll employ me next year! heheh.

Ya ah. I cant keep spending. I mean, income out...where's the income coming in from? Gargh. Anyway, bought 2 tops yesterday. Wohoo. Next, i need pants. Black ones that can pass off as both formal and informal. Then i think i wanna get a haircut. oh yea, i dyed my hair golden brown on saturday. But my hair still looks the same colour. Ah well. Dont think i need shoes...nor do i need a bag. Ah, yes, i need more jeans/pants whatever. Been using the same one the whole semester. But then, jeans are like that. You can have a whole load of them but you always end up wearing that same one.

Alright, since i have nothing to do, i shall read the books that i borrowed yest..and spend time with my paternal grandma. And maybe meet up with my mom and go shopping with her?

hehe.

Its the ho...ho..holi..ah-choo (excuse me) days.

Bleah. I mean. YAY. Ive finished my exams. Wait, i think that yay deserves a line of its own.

YAY

Yup. Sem 1 over and done. Hope i do well. etc etc etc

Right.

Now what?

After leading a highly regimental life of studying, im hit with nothingness. What do i do? I have absolutely no plans.

IM FREE IN DECEMBER, dear friends...so look me up.

Unless im sick....dreary december. Im like sneezing and having blocked nose lah. Cant even sleep cos i cant breathe.

Adeline, when are you coming back? Badminton...leh
In fact, 02a53, please let our outing happen. :)

Yunxian, Karina and Justina. Settle on a date for your birthday treat. Ive decided to treat you guys to ice-cream.

Can someone gimme a list of things to do?

Ive come up with this so far
1) Sleep
2) Recover from flu
3) Start exercising when it doesnt rain...(i prefer the outdoors, ade dear)
4)watch harry potter

Hmm.

Stupid. me.

Im probably gonna be one of the few morons to flunk an SS paper. Singapore Society. Damn paper. I went completely blank. BLANK.

I used to think that i have the gift...the gift of crapping but you know what? Im dumbo who cant even crap about singapore society. For God's sake, i live IN this society and i went blank.
I was a former Lit student for goodness sake.....crap crap crap is suppose to come naturally to me...and yet what happened?

Was i too complacent throughout this module? I think i was. If so, i deserve the miserable grade that i will most likely get.

Darn it. There goes my CAP. There goes my honours.

I WILL NEVER TAKE A SOCIOLOGY MODULE AGAIN

Feeling utterly miserable now.
I saw it coming. I knew. I couldnt even study the module. I didnt know how. So i paid the price.

Dont try to console me, saying that moderation or luck or smt might make my grade not too bad. Cos you know what? I was expecting a FREAKING A for this module. Looks like i'll never get that now. NO way.

Darn it.

It should have been in my hands.

And whats worse, the paper, on hindsight wasnt really that hard. WISH it were....so EVERYONE ELSE CAN FAIL WITH ME...but no.

So cruel. I wont enjoy my holiday at all. Next up, stats 2. Gosh, i will not be complacent this time. SIGH.

Dear God, if you read this blog, (which probably you will..in fact you know my thoughts and know what im gonna ask for...) please let me do okay for the SS paper. I know i was wrong in being too presumptious. I accept whatever grade...just please let it not be too bad. Considering that i knew it was coming, and knowing i cannot get an A unless by some miracle (hint) i do, let me get a grade that i would be satisfied with.....Please? I know i havent been good but please..

(heaves sigh)
I think i should focus for the next paper now. Pray i do better for that.

Chilly

Wah......so cool. As in really really cool. Temperature wise. you know. Of course you know.
So nice to sleep but cannot! MUST study...

One down
Two more to go...

I can do it...

I must say, the weather certainly marks the coming of december. Nice rainy days...you end up sleeping and waking up at noon..cancelling that lunch date you made with friends on account of the weather...catching a cold and having to hole up in your room with lots of tissue paper and huddled under you blanket.....when promises you made to exercise all the lard off frm the year (esp from the exam period..heh) are all broken simply because its raining so you cant go jogging....

On second thought, maybe i dont want december to come after all. So dreary.

Mug

Was in the library pretty much the whole day. 8.30am till it closed. Then stayed in school till 12.30. Did stats. Drank red bull. It was free. Wonder where those red bull girls popped up from.Hmm. Tired.

Got french back. Bad.

Got film back. Happy. Very pleased indeed.

Covered a few chaps. Can lah. Should be able to cover.

Im beginning to feel much better. Thanks for the encouragement..you know who you guys are. :)

Went swimming wed morn...damn shiok.

Also, i realised ive pretty much read every single chapter for abnormal psych and done almost all the readings for SS except for 2. Hmm :) Not bad....although i did them over the course of the sem so i cant remember much. BUT at least, ive read them :)

Heh,........cant remember what i wanted to type.

ah well. Mug away!

Catharsis

Ive started studying, finally. Not at the pace i wanted it to be, but ive started nonetheless.

Ive been crying. I cant stop crying. I dont know why. Little things make me cry. Sometimes, thinking of crying makes me tear. Like now.

Im not suffering from depression. Cant be. According to DSM-IV-TR, intense sadness etc would last for at least 2 weeks.

Maybe im having a panic attack. My temples are throbbing real bad. Im avoiding my books. Im over eating.
Ive never felt so stressed in uni before. I mean i keep telling myself
"Farah, you only have 3 exams! You have no excuse not to get As for all of them..theyre within reach...dont regret...study NOW...this is your chance to pull your CAP...come on, some people have 5 exams to put up with. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE."

:'( Why am i doing this to myself?

I just wanna go on a holiday..or sleep and dream my exams away.

But i cant. Can you imagine, that i was so desperate to be focused/not distracted, that i told Najib that i wont sms/talk/contact him till my last paper ends. I mean, i remember, before we got together, he gave me a month off. And so I thought, i should follow suit. He's been so supportive...But you know what? Ive come to realise that im so stupid. Why am i depriving myself of the very thing that makes me happy and sane? Im gonna call him tonight. I need to. Or i'll go nuts.

Im focused...but i need to breathe.

Not that i think i deserve to but I MUST. Or i wont be able to do anything..

I just want a hug.

2 down

Im in school now...waiting for justina to have her web cast lecture break. Yes, im not kidding. I want my laksa!!!!

Handed in my last film project. I can forget about double tick lah. Sigh. Was rushing like a mad woman. Thanks justina and cherylN for calming my nerves..and offering me your laptops.

Was in the library with CherylLee. Why cant i concentrate? After lunch, im gonna collect my SS paper (oh boy) and head on HOME. Maybe im just too distracted or smt......gargh.

I MUST MUG!!!

Read AVE's (hehe) blog. Wah, i think i better read up on Islam. Malu that i cant seem to answer some of the questions man.

One down

Four more modules to go. And by tomorrow, 3 more :)

French test was hard. But almost everyone was complaining so Im relieved to know that at least, Im not the only one! Many thanks to Xiaowen and Kenneth for aiding me last evening, allowing me to clarify some stuff i just could never understand!

Also, Im glad that French ended on a pleasant note. The oral wasnt bad at all. I actually found myself able to chat fluently (or so i hope). I guess thats cos i was calm. At the end, he said "Bon" so i hope that means "Good" and not ''well...." Either way, i'll find out next thursday.

I think I had better to get started on my last film N hist project. Double tick? Yes, please.

For fun

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself: You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for: You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship: You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love: You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you: You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success: Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of: You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self: You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

I got the quiz off Ave's blog.Yup. La la la

We got a B.

SIGHHHHHHH.

I ought to be grateful but why am i unhappy? I mean i really thought we'd be deserving of at least..at the very least, a B+. I was even hoping for an A-.

Wonder which groups got A.

B

Darn it. DARN it...now i must study darn darn hard for the finals. Sheesh.

Im beginning to realise that what goes up must come down. Been having a pretty good sem till recently.

If i were to be optimistic, what that is down must go up again right? Right?

Anyway, maybe its good that I didnt get the grade i wanted not only for stats but for film and french...and who knows? Maybe even SS? So at least i wont be as complacent.
Yes, yes, I HAVE BEEN KICKED. Thank you.

Got back my abnormal..if yunxian's calculation of the mean is right, then i guess im above it. But can you imagine? I was not happy. Why? No idea. Think im turning into an overachieving freak.

Felt horrible so i went for a run yesterday.....and my gosh...exercise really is good for you....i felt immensely satisfied....and alive.

And im all rearing to go...to start mugging like i ought to.

Still, a B.

Nerves

Feeling extremely MEGA anxious........

STATS project report grades are out......Oh dear...oh dear...oh dear....

Im at home now, wish I could just run to school to take a peek at the grade.....but realised the absurdity..
Rang Justina and Cheryl Lee to no avail...Cheryl Nott's on her way to AS6 as I type this....managed to let Kim know already..Gosh...im so bleeping nervous....

We spent so much time and effort on the report....God, please......

ahh! How long does cheryl take to walk to AS6??!!!!

Patience is a virtue...patience is a virtue....Paaaaaatieeeeeeeeeeenceeeeeeeeee...

Kicked

Got back my french results....KICKED

Got back my film project 4.....KICKED

:-*

Fine, im motivated enough to start mugging.

Sheesh.

:-*

Reality Check

I think, ive been enjoying myself too much.

Perhaps its the festivities, perhaps the post-project/term paper euphoria. Or, perhaps im darn lazy.

I just realise, that I, Farah, officially have 15 days to prepare for my FINAL EXAMS!!! What the heck am i doing, waking up so late and going around as though im on holiday already?

Someone, please, KICK ME.

That said, on the bright side, i had the opportunity to wind down and relax...so i can start afresh.

Excuses.

Haha

Selamat Hari Raya!

:)

Cant believe one month of fasting came to an end yesterday as we celebrated the end of the holy month of Ramadan. Insya-allah, will get to commemorate the next Ramadan.

Went to the graveyard for the first time. Vistied my Grandma's grave...and a few other relatives. Saw someone being buried...on Hari Raya. Someone dies everyday, i suppose. Being there, i was reminded on the temporarity of life...here today but you never know when you're gonna go..

Anyway, i miss her. First Hari Raya without her.

On a lighter note, my aunt and cousins came to visit and i finally saw a new addition to our family..Baby Naqif/Nakif....so cute!!!! At least he didnt cry when i held him. :) I realise that its kinda easy to make babies laugh and smile...you just gotta make silly faces and googly noises. Haha. Though observing adults doing it is kinda funny.

Alright, thank you so much cheryl lee, melinda, linyen, karina, justina, winston, norman, kat, vemalan, manju, renu and all who wished me (apologies if i forgot to mention you)..sorry i didnt reply your greetings ya? Thank you soo much nonetheless! :)

Anyway, in the spirit of Hari raya, Maaf Zahir Batin, which translate to : Forgive me if ive ever offended or hurt you...

Alright, ive gotta leave for French make-up lessons.

Pseudo holidays!

First, Happy Deepavali to all my Hindu friends!

Im in school now..can you believe that there's so many people in school? NUS students need to get a life. (yeah, and the one typing this is in sch herself. heh)

I guess its cos datelines and project reports are due this week...like stats report due tmr. Waiting for Kim to come before we start...

Yeah...cant wait for this week to end..then i can start mugging full time.

Hari Raya's coming!

Anyway, i met up with Najib yesterday. Even though it was only for 2 hours, it was worth it. Had a wonderful time, darling. Thank you.
And you really looked gorgeous dressed in your baju kurung :)
And your hair cut :)
Whee~

Essay

Film N history essay.....is HISTORY!

Im done! Clap hands! Wohoo! Yay!

Post no 195

Yup, so it is.

My darling's reading my blog as i type this. I actually dont think he needs to considering i constantly update him about my life!

Anyway, he's on his Hari raya break which starts today and lasts for 5 whole days :) Might see him on monday night. Yay.

As for my film n history, well, i encountered a mental block. Utter frustration as ive only managed to squeeze 430 words thus far. But i will press on....not that i have a choice but i will be darned if i dont finish at least half of it by tonight.

And i heard that my article's out...cant wait to have a look at it! :)

And ive finally factored in a time to go shopping with my mom at geylang serai! The day before hari raya! Wed! Cos i only have a lect from 8-10am...plus, i would have finished my stats report so nothing else due anytime soon. :)

Yups!

Okie, back to work.

Papers Schemapers

First and foremost, THANK YOU JUSTINA for submitting my film and hist project.

My goodness. I think this has gotta be one of the worst and ill-thought papers ive ever written. It probably doesnt make sense after the introduction paragraph. Think its too example driven. Too narrative. Blah. I had no choice. I mean it was hard defining what "doing the right thing" is! And i dont know why i lacked the inspiration to write it. Perhaps cos there's so many things to say and yet nothing to say and i had to rush against the clock cos i was oh-so-smart to sleep and think that ample sleep would make me have a fresh perspectives on thing. NYAH.

Thanks justina for submitting it....so i had at least 45 mins more to think about it..and edit and stuff.

Alright, just one MAJOR essay due on monday at 4pm and another project due in 2 weeks time and i'll be done with Film and History.

Monday's french test is listening comprehension (for which im in big trouble. need to dig ears) and written comprehension (for which im also in big trouble cos i usually need a dictionary). But essentially, i cant study for it cos its not grammar...

Which means, i have the entire day plus weekend to write my Film essay. I wanna make it a good one! :)

Oh dear, i havent set aside a day/time to shop for my hari raya clothes. Ah well, worse case scenario, i'll just wear what i wore last year. Like who'd remember? Seriously?

Where's my abnormal psych results? Tsk tsk.

Kick me!

Someone, kick my procrastinating posterior!!

I have a film essay to do and im supposed to be done by monday but then i have a french test on monday. Gargh. So i have till sat to do my essay. Sat? ARGH! SATURDAY!!!!

Ps: I realised that i havent said happy birthday to some of my friends. Happy belated birthday to Adeline and Karina. Happy Birthday in advance to Yun xian and Xiaoyan.

Am i missing anyone else? :)

One month from today, I will be free~ My last exam will be today..in one months' time! Yippee!

Dyslexic in statistics

Borrowed my title from cheryl's nick..

Im still up all because of stats!!!!! Who ever said that SPSS was idiot proof? Grr...

To think that stats presentation is only 15% out of 25 marks...which is (drum rolls) 3.75 marks!

Why am i up again?

Been too lazy to blog...

Title says it all.

True...its like everytime i wanted to type, i couldnt be bothered. Haha. Except today, cos its my free day and im feeling extremely happy.

I guess my happy streak started on wednesday when i got back my stats. Alhamdulillah! Yay!! I did well :) And im glad i did...cos well, the day before my grandma passed away, i told my mom that i'd visit her after my stats test...but well, she passed away before i could and i took my test on a later date...and i did well...somehow, that makes me feel a little better...i cant really explain it...

So anyway, after having a chat with najib, i realise that i shouldnt be so competitive...he reminded me that i should try to beat my personal best (CAP) and not worry abt others. Yeah, he's right...i feel better now.

And after receiving my french test 2 results, ive given up on my quest to get an A..when you have ppl in class getting 37/40, you dont stand a chance. Not that ive given up doing my best of course! I'll do my best, but if i dont get an A, i wont be bummed. Gotta be realistic.

Maybe thats why i feel happier...less stress i suppose? And the fact that i finally submitted my essay for SS after letting my tutor know my worries abt being penalised for writing a boring topic..he assured me he'll read mine first and he wont hold my topic choice against me.

Next up, my film and history. Watched Godfather that day...nice! Wonder which movie to write about....

(Stretch)Its my free day today.
Gonna make sure my weekend will be productive...
Got stats proj grp meeting tmr...presentation's on monday...and report's due the subsequent week....

And then its HARI RAYA! yay. :P

And ooh, i might get to see him tmr night for ice cream! :)

Dark day

Listening to "It must have been love" by Roxette. I remember the first time i heard it. I must have been in primary 3 or 4. The soundtrack of Pretty Woman starring Julia Roberts.
Nice.

Anyway, today was kinda...bleaugh.

Had abnormal test this morn. Studied really hard for it. I mean i covered every single chapter and some chaps ive read twice. 40% MCQ. I pray i do well...but i realise that i made a few blunders already. Why do i keep changing my answers? Gosh, i hope i do well...i really love abnormal psychology. I mean, ive finally found my calling. I wanna be a psychotherapist. This is THE field i wanna delve into. I know this sounds cliche, but i wanna help people. I really do. And abnormal has revived my love for psychology....please dont take this away from me....It sounds silly right? To have my passion be determined by grades...but its true...if i dont do well for this module, then i'll doubt if this is IT. I dont know....I guess theres nothing much i can do about the 40%.....if its meant to be, it is i suppose....

Then had SS tutorial. Why did i have to do a very very dry topic? About identity? Grr. I actually found my topic interesting but realised that youth subculture is a much more exciting and DARN EASY topic to do. Darn it. Everyone who does on youth subculture's gonna do darn well lah. What am i going to do? Ive finished about 80% of my paper....im just left with editing and tweeking here and there. Its due on sat but i have to finish it by tonight...or else i'll be pushing my other modules further...

Need to prioritise. Thats it. Im gonna submit it tmr.

Then im gonna start on film.
Then stats.
Then french.

Will it ever end?
yeah. NOV 25.

PS: Might be signing up for trekking in dec with NUS rovers...asked Tini and my dunman friends along...hope it works out.

Phew

Time flies. Its can you believe it 15 Oct already?

Whoa.

Completed that darn SS paper yesterday. Yes, i spent almost the whole Sat morn and afternoon putting my thoughts into that essay. Although, i feel its only 90% complete. Im going to incubate it. You know, return to it in a few days time with a fresher perspective. Realise that if on Tuesday, i read it and it doesnt make sense, at least i can edit it.

Started on my abnormal psych as well. Problem is, i cant really remember what ive read. Sigh. And chaps 1 and 2 and 17 are so incredibly boring. Think im gonna leave them till i finish the rest. Thank goodness on the whole, abnormal psych's interesting. I dont mind reading it at all! :)
This is what studying should be all about! Interest and fun. :)

Test's on tuesday. In fact, i think i have 2 tests on Tuesday. Abnormal and SS (tho the tutor didnt say so but i suspect our 10% tutorial participation would be translated to the marks he gives us for our upcoming mini write up.)

Also, im thinking of skipping the film shown tmr so that i can go home earlier and study for psych. Yeah, think i'll do that. I mean its The Godfather. Ive watched that already...So, i'll just go for lect and leave before the film...i can always watch it on wed during my break :)

Alright, i seem to be in an optimistic mood. Thats good! At least, in a happy disposition, my mind would be more receptive to what i read. :)

Whirl, twirl, swirl....whoa.

Its 9.40am on a friday. I would have been done with my SS term paper. In fact I should have finished it by Wed, as i kept insisting and telling everyone. But ive come to realise that i can be all take and no action.

Take yesterday for instance. I told myself that i would not sleep until i finished my term paper so that i'll be able to focus on abnormal psych. Instead, i felt zilch motivation to do it and considering i was already half way to Z land (thanks to my sis who was sleeping right in front from where i was), i decided to read a chapter on suicide. At least that seemed more interesting. Not that im suicidal. Its a topic for my test.

So anyway, i woke up early this morning thinking, sheesh, lets get SS out of the way. Get cracking! Instead, i found myself reading blogs of friends from past and present.
Its kinda good once in a while to just get/read updates abt your friends.

So anyway, im gonna promise to get started after i finish posting this entry. I have to lah. I must. Cant keep pushing it back just cos dateline was pushed. Come on, farah....

On a more personal note, i miss my Najib. I havent seen him Oct 1st. And that was merely for a late night movie in his attempt to cheer me up after my grandma's death. In any case, we realise the impossibility of meeting till after hari raya. Or well, maybe after my exams. Simply put, for the entire fasting month, we both have to dine with our respective families during the weekend. After breaking fast, he'd usually go for terawih, special prayers held at night. And that might end pretty late. I wouldnt want him to skip prayers for me. Its good that he goes :) So that leaves sunday, which is family day for both of us and of course, the day he books in.

Then when hari raya arrives, his weekends would be filled by his family. I mean, most likely they'll be visiting relatives and all. As for me, Nov is mug month. All the way till the 25 of NOV, i shall not be able to see him.

Well, thank God for handphones. At least we still communicate. (altho yest he dropped his hp in the sink and his hp was not working for a while) He still calls me when we're not tired...actually, even if he's tired, he'll call me. He's so sweet.

So anyway, i guess i shall have to wait till NOV 25. Yup.

Alright, i think ive stalled enough. Shall get started on my essay ok?

In Tense

Like yunxian mentioned yesterday, i think people are getting really nervy in NUS, with the datelines and mid term tests and all. I guess im no exception. Ive become paranoid!!

Well, at least ive been feeling okay lately. I mean SS dateline and my article's dateline has been pushed back by a week. But still, i feel like i should get em over and done with as quickly as possible. Also, stats MCQ result was a mood lifter, although almost everyone did as well if not better. Alhamdulillah nonetheless.

Doumecq said my oral wasnt bad. In fact he said it was good overall. Hmm. Wonder what he meant by good. But considering i thought it'd be bad, good is well, good. Right?

Waiting for my bro to fetch me soon.....and im darn lazy to do work...even though i MUST.

Hmm, maybe i should think of that satisfying feeling after accomplishing smt.....that ahhhh feeling...yes, i shall strive for that.

Bring it on

Today's French test was a bummer joy-killer total bleurgh. I felt so stupid. Still do. Doesnt help that i have brilliant friends and classmates. Great. Just perfect. I will never in a million years smell an A for french. Im beginning to doubt if i can even scrape a B this time. The funny thing is, I feel that ive put in more effort this sem than the previous sems. Not that it matters. Everyone else is probably working as hard if not more than i am. Darn you people. (sigh, its fasting month...must practise restrain)

Still, is it me, or are the ppl around me getting competitive? Come ah. But let me just warn you, competition is a double edged sword. It can spur you on, but you can also self-destruct.

So if there's anyone of you out there who wants to compete with me, i say bring it on. Just tell it to my face if you want to. Dont pretend that youre not.

Though, note to self and everyone else out there, my only competition is myself. Cos who cares what other people get? I mean, I just wanna be satisfied knowing that ive done my best...but when provoked into competition, be warned, i will rise to the occassion. I will beat you to pulp.

You have been warned. Do not incur my wrath.

PS: forgive my rather icky mood entry. French. Blame it on the french test.

Keep on moving...

Wah..my fingers are freezing. In the central lib. Must say, everyone's busy busy busy working on their respective term papers.

So why on earth am i in school on my free day? Heh, i had to hand in my film proj 3, which by the way, is rather crappy in content. Ah well..at least i submitted it. :)

Had a consulation with my SS tutor. Was totally loss and fickle as to which topic i was gonna do. Eventually settled on one and im gonna get started soon. Initially, i was suppose to do with yunxian but quite frankly, i dont wanna jeopardise her grades. Sekali last minute i change topic! Choy. Hope not.

Yeah, so im "working" on an intro paragraph for it.

Does anyone out there have a singaporean friend of chinese + indian origin and who's not muslim? PLEASE get back to me like NOW.

Have a french test on monday. Yesterday's oral was kinda funny. It was over and done with so quickly. And my tutor kept interrupting me that ilost my train of thought. Well, at least i tried. 20 percent....in less than 10 minutes.

Next, I have this 30% SS term paper. I really really wanna do a good one. If only i had more solid facts and well, more confidence. I need to be sure of what i wanna write before i write it. I dont want it to be a rushed substanceless paper that my most of my previous essays were.

Likewise with film essay which is due at the end of the month. I havent even thought much about what im gonna write.

Then theres the abnormal MCQ which is 40% and would be a brilliant waste if i dont study hard for it. 40% for a mid term given that its MCQ is God-sent. I must take advantage of that! If i'd only touched my textbook earlier.

But you know what? In the flurry of datelines and all,

I will chill.

I wanna enjoy what i do. If i dont, im pretty darn sure it would translate itself to my essays..

Yup. And before you know it, the month would be over and it'll be HARI RAYA!! :)

Then just 2 more weeks of school, then finally a one week reading week when i can mug un-interrupted for the finals.

AND then, HOLIDAYS!!!

Life goes on and i know that. I miss her a little. Wonder what hari raya would be like this year.

PS:Thanks to all my friends who stood by me last week. You know who you guys are. Thank you so so so much. Think i would have cracked otherwise.