First 21st

I went to my first invitation to a friends' 21st Birthday party. My buddy layhong from dunman Npcc. Hadnt met her in ages. When i arrived, none of her dunman friends were there except her bf (of 6 years!). It was a bit awkward for me at first but being the extremely sensitive person that she is, LH made sure to stay by me as much as possible until widya came along. I honestly didnt mind that she was often called away to greet the newly arrived guests, etc. But she still apologised. So polite. So layhong :)Anyway, i managed to catch up with wid. She's into photography so she brought this big camera and we started taking pics.Like 2 hours later, the guys came. Met a lot of old faces there as well, mostly her classmates. I reckon i wont be bumping into them much in future so it was a good occasion to catch up and take photos. It was fun :)


Then, i heard that it was a classmate of mine who passed away. (apparently, i had mistaken this other guy to be the one who died but he was very much alive at the party just now). Jokes aside, Suresh was such a sweet guy. He sat beside me in Sec 1. After sec 1, we didnt really get to talk much but he always smiled whenever i saw him. Wished i had known him better. And now, he's gone. And i didnt even know about it.


Moral of the story? Catch up with your friends whenever you can, particularly the ones you never had a chance to know better and the ones you have not seen in a long time. Just get to know where they are, what theyre doing, etc etc.

To buy or not to buy?

Its the time of the year to visit to the co-op and get my textbooks. Usually, i wouldnt think much before buying but this sem, im taking two UEs. Non major modules. Hence the hesitation. I mean, why would i want to own a social work textbook? I dont even think i will actually use it for this mod...but still.. The PR textbook might come in handy..but 45 buckeroos??? Or should i just get an earlier edition from some senior who's willing to sell it for 25? Or should i just Z@% it?

Then health psych. Do i buy sarrofino's textbook or Odjen textboook? which one?????

That said, at LEAST i bought the dev psych text so i can finally start on my readings. Ive been so bored without anything to read.

And i do feel a bit insecure that i still dont have the remaining textbooks.

Argh.

And tutorial balloting starts tmr night.

This is so cool!

You scored as Psychology. You should be a Psychology major!

Anthropology 100%
Psychology 100%
Biology 92%
Journalism 92%
Theater 75%
English 75%
Sociology 67%
Linguistics 67%
Philosophy 67%
Mathematics 67%
Art 58%
Engineering 50%
Dance 50%
Chemistry 25%

What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with QuizFarm.com

Just another rainy sunday.

Rain. Again.

On the bright side, I can breathe through both nostrills. Ahhhh... :)

Such a nice sleepy-ish weather. Im gonna curl up in bed and start on another Tom Holt book. Gosh. The guy is darn funny. Witty funny. Which is good funny. Cos its intellectual funny. Intellectual=good. There.

School starts tmr. What to wear...what to wear. Hmm. Jeans, t-shirt, sneakers. That's my uniform anyway.
First class: Eva claims rel to health. Starts at 5.30pm. Hope i wont be late.

Rode on cable car for the first time yest :) With my darling :) (who's the only one who can tolerate my mood swings and who's ever so patient that i cant help falling in love with him over and over again.....7 months :) )
Anyway, it was ok lah. Although the seats were rather uncomfortable and the cabin was stuffy.

Alright, gonna enjoy my last sunday of having nothing to do :)

Color Code

Now that ive finally gotten all 5 modules, Im facing yet another problem. Yes, this might sound a little bimbo...but im color coding my modules and i cant think of appropriate colors!!! help!

Any suggestions guys?

Im taking

1) Developmental Psychology
2) Health Psychology
3) Introduction to Social Work
4) Evaluating claims related to Health
5) Principals of Communication Management (Public Relations)

So far, the colors involved are: Yellow, purple, red, blue and green. The problem is, which color suits which module??

SIGH.

Knowledge the Torch of Life

:)

That's Dunman Sec's school motto. I just came back from Dunman. heh, me and my dad decided to pop in to see if things have changed. My my my. A LOT has. For one, there's a security post at the walkway leading to the canteen. Next, Mrs Ng, who's usually be lurking around the atrium isnt there anymore. In fact i saw new faces dressed in the PE teacher-ish gear. The girls no longer wear their skirts above their knees. Not a minah in sight. Haha!! Wow.

And yet, some things never change!! The canteen looks the same. The vendors are still there and the pak cik recognised me. The NPCC room looks the same...and the banner proclaiming the "SYF GOLD award since 2000" brings back memories....and there, in the canteen eating, was my classmate Lee Pei!!! hhahahahha! So coincidental. Saw familiar teachers like Mr Gan, the maths teacher. I didnt get the chance to bump into the others as they were having class. But my gosh...being back there again made me so happy...this heartwarming "ahhh-ness"....fond memories welcomingly came flooding back in. I miss sec school so much. If only the people who made it fonder were there too.Heh, i remember that there was this segment of the canteen that ive was afraid to venture to cos the soccer boys and other mats were always there....hhaha...so silly...then there's the fish pond where my friends and i would take pics in. Then the parade square. Ah, the parade square. And the classroom! The one i had to sit in for detention. :)


And yes, my name's still up there :)

You know what? I want to go back to school. Im ready. Bring it on Year 2 Sem 2. Bring it on.

All Clean :)

Feeling pleased with myself. I finally overcame the inertia to start packing my things properly and got my room in order. I managed to get rid of a lot of old notes and i filed everything up neatly. The result? One a and a half shelf of space for my new books for the coming semester.

And i realise now that i do have a lot of bags.

Anyway, mental note: return Eugene his stats 1 file and return xiaoyan her Stats 2 file. Get rid of the pile of Swaps thingies.

PS: I think im addicted to the indonesian soap opera "Dia" on suria. Gosh. I cant help it!!! That Fi-fi woman is EVIL. I realise that most indonesian villains are cunning deceitful women (who are often played by fantastic actresses). How fantastic? So fantastic that it makes the viewers blood boil each time she appears on screen...and thinking of them simply riles you. ARGH. To make matters worse, they always seem to get their way because the people around them are so stupid. Haha. Okay, im getting carried away. Anyway, indonesian actors are gorgeous.

First Post of The Year 2006

Ive taken quite some time to blog this time. Theres so many things to say! So this is gonna be a rather long post.

I spent NYEve with Najib in the morn/afternoon. We went rollerblading. heh, i can rollerblade now!!! Got caught in the rain and thats most likely the source of my flu. (sniffs). Then met up with Cheryl. Three years in a row we've managed this! :) AT night, what was supposed to be a family dinner at 10 was delayed and was even threateningly on the verge of being cancelled, if not for the super sour face i pulled. So my family went for dinner/supper at 12.30am at Changi Village. Yes, there were Bapuks there. Haha. Every single year, my family would have dinner and a little party together. The little party was gone. But i pray the family get together would still remain...

Then on 1st Jan, my relatives came over. My nenek and almost 4 or 5 families including mine were packed into my humble abode. It was really nice...We had some prayers cum lunch cos my nenek and my aunt is going to Haj. In fact they left at 2am this morn. (Went to the airport but they went into the gate already). It was a very emotional moment when my nenek was leaving my home. We said goodbye and she hugged us and told us to never forget her..and to never forget to pray....you see, she thinks she might not make it back. :( I couldnt help but cry and hugged her so tightly. I pray Allah will look after both my grandma and my aunt....
My maternal aunt and my cousin are leaving tmr morning...i'll be praying for them too.

So with all the leftover food from the previous day, i decided to call in Winston, Briony and Najib for lunch and to watch DVDs. I enjoyed myself...and at least the food was almost finished...i mean...i thought my dad kinda overcooked...and if nobody finished his curry, then for a week, i would have ended up eating leftovers! haha...

And then theres today. Woke up....and realise that i cannot bid in this phase. I only have 2 modules allocated to me right now. Dev and health psych. Hmm.

Im also having the post-holiday blues. I realise that im not big on changes! haha. I had post exam blues and now post holiday. But seriously lah....i dont feel prepared for the next battle. My brain's too rusty and my body's too used to waking up when it feels like it.

I still havent finished the books i borrowed and for goodness sake, my book cupboard's still not cleared of the exams aftermath. I oughta do something about it. Fast.

Why health?

So what if Dr Why is taking health psych? I mean he cant be all THAT bad right? And so what if i have to do APA report? For goodness sake, im a psych student. And if im serious about persuing this as my career, then i ought to be used to doing stats report...

Right????

gulp.

I bid you...splash

Bidding. Yes, bidding started this morning. Realised that they blocked bio psych off for the yr 3s. Okay, so ive got it all planned.

IF i cannot get bio psych, i will take animal behaviour. Which means i will have more points for I/O.
IF i cannot get womens health cos im taking animal beh OR if womens health is too expensive, i will take evaluating claims related to health.

Then im gonna take SW1101 for my UE. So far dev psych is not so hot so im hoping to get the mod.

I have only 693 points in my prog acc. I realise that psych students are poor students. But you know why? Cos theyre kanchong spiders who want their modules so bad (even tho eventually, they have to take the module, refer to abnormal psych last sem) that they become myopic. They dont think about their subsequent future. I mean youre gonna be bankrupt if you keep bidding at insanely high numbers. Sheesh. And because of this herd mentality, the entire bunch of students from this major dont have enough points for other modules. Sigh.

Anyway, that aside, i do hope i get what i want. If not, i'll just live with it and do my best. No point fussing. :)

Went swimming today. Did 1.1km. Ahh. So nice. Although it was freezing cos it was drizzling. But the pool was lovely. Empty. Peaceful. Till the drizzle stopped and people started to come in. Still..i love swimming. How many times have i mentioned that on my blog?

Havent really been blogging lately cos ive been lazy. Went out on tues to the metro sale at the expo. Then on wed i went out with my sis. Bought clothes!!!!! :P

Hmm. Ive yet to complete the book i borrowed from the lib. Ive yet to lose the weight i piled on after the exams. I just wish the hols would last longer...

Anyway, im off! gotta call a certain someone :)

I dont wanna go back to school syndrome.

I think that im a huge believer in the seasonal affect disorder. Not that im suffering from it..but im beginning to suspect i may be.

I DONT WANNA GO BACK TO SCHOOL. GArgh. Now that christmas is over (not that i celebrate it..but well, its like an indicator to me, reminding me how many more days i have left to the new year), soon, it'll be new year's day and then, school.

In fact, i feel as though school has already somewhat begun! Planning for modules is one of the most frightening, if not stressful, moments of my semester life. Sometimes, i feel that this is THE most important time. Cos if you choose the wrong mod, youre stuck with it. And if you dislike it at the beginning, chances are, you'll hate it and suffer through it for the rest of the sem (refer to EL1101). Then there's the timetable planning. To prioritise the exams schedule or the daily schedule. To get a free day on this day or that day. So frustrating. BUT the scariest thing is really not knowing what else to take!!!

Im dropping French. Oh yes, i sure am. Au Revoir. C'est finis pour moi.

Im sure of bio psych and developmental psych. Still deciding bet health psych or industrial/organisational psych. Apparently, the former requires an APA report to be done while the latter involves an extremely boring lady lecturer. Then, im thinking of women's health and changes in her lifespan as my science GEM. So im left with breadth modules to clear..and UEs. I need a module i can crap thru and get an A. Hmm.

Can you imagine, that i didnt even realise that i was stressed about school till last night? I mean, ive been irritable the past 2 days and ive been taking it out on najib. Then i realise last night, when he asked me whats wrong...and i just said that one line (read title) and this floodgate of fear/anxiety opened. And i started crying...im not ready for school. I just am not. Next sem is gonna be another tough sem. And it doesnt help that i wanna do better than this sem. I must. I know i can but i know that ive gotta work hard...really hard. And thats what scares me. What if i work hard and i dont deliver the grades?

But, he made me feel so much better. He said that i should just plan the best i can..and whichever mods are allocated to me, ive just got to suck it up and do my best. I suppose so.

So does any one out there know any mods that i can get an A for sure?

Seasons Greetings!

Merry Christmas to all my Christian/Catholic friends.

Thanks to all who sent me a X'mas card...haha..:)

Hmm..was reading the papers just now..and smack on the cover page of Life, there's a photo of this pretty 26 year old girl. She looked so familiar...and her name...Sham Van smt smt...And then i realised...that its my mom's cousin's daughter...which makes her what? My second cousin? Shamunas..thats her name. I havent seen her in ages but she looks the same. Anyhow, my mom was shocked when i told her that the article is abt her battling w breast cancer. Nobody knew. I mean when her mom and bro came over last year, they didnt mention anything...ah well..i guess maybe it was hard on them too.

Tonight im heading to my aunt's house...to baca-baca(pray) for my grandma...

Hmm. im supposed to buy my bed. Cos my bed-frame is falling apart..cos 12 years ago, my brother was moronic enough to jump on my bed. He ran from the door and landed on my new bed (the day when my bed arrived) and from that day, my bed has been creaking since. The creaking's gotten worse and the bed might actually collapse if i dont get myself a new one.

That aside, i feel like eating chocs now. I need something sweet. Gargh. Must control self.

And bleah.Bidding starts next week....but im still deciding which mods to take...realised that i do have the gift of crapping. Remember the Singapore Society module that i thought id miserably flop??? Well, heh, thats my best module!! :) So im trying to pick mods that im good at.....still looking....

My body is still aching. Every inch of my body. The badminton on thurs was great, ade! :) Altho it would have been sweet to thrash that couple beside us!

Alright. Im gonna hunt for chocs now. Im sure theres some chocs somewhere in this house.

PS: Wallace and Gromit is a positively fantastic movie. Its probably the best non-human movie made this year.

Results

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.
You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.

At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.
What Temperament are you

Haha..ta-da! My results for the above test.

What were you expecting? Oh, you mean the my yr 2 sem 1 results?

Well, to all who'd like to know, Alhamdulillah, I think i did well! Ive improved and this is my best sem so far! Full steam ahead Farah!!!!!! Wohoo! Thank God :) :) :)

I see the light. Sorta.

I love each and every one of you. Thank you for making me feel better.

And yes, i guess the last entry was written in a pique(suddenly forgotten how to spell this) of anger. The issue about my dad's reaction to Najib and all, I guess i can understand. He just doesnt want me to end up hurt and into the wrong hands.

Ive put myself in his place and true enough, if i were to have a daughter going out with a good-looking dude who's not from the same school as her and whom she met through a friend, who's in NS (and hence could be a horny little bugger of a fella) and who's future is rather uncertain until he completes NS, I'll be freaking nervous as well. In fact, i'll be so shit scared for her, i'll lock her up in the room till she's 30. Haha. But that's me. :)

Ya la...my dad just loves me too much. I mean, at least i have a dad who loves me and cares albeit in an authoritarion manner. But the one thing that still bugs me is the fact that he didnt know my major, what i study in school etc. That, i simply cannot understand.

Anyhoo, let me get this straight. Im still talking with my dad...and everything's like normal...except the fact that when i go out, i feel like im in sec school all over again. Having to report where im gg, with whom and what time i'll be back. I mean, he didnt say that i must tell him all the above...but i think i get the hint. Ive been too free since ive been in uni. I mean whenever he asks me where im going, i'd usually say "out with my friends". And i guess its wrong on my part.

Its only right for me to be clearer now. If it would enable him to trust me, then so be it.

Tippy Toes

Ok.

So i thought telling my dad and coming clean abt Najib was a great idea. Perhaps in the long run it is. But my gosh. I feel like pulling my hair out. Now everytime i go out, he'll think im gg out with najib. Everytime im on the phone, he'll think its with najib. And worse, his assumptions are always manifested by his expression of extreme displeasure which he ostentaciously displays. I mean WHAT????!!!!!!!!

What do you want me to do? Mop around at home doing NOTHING? They dont call this the holidays for nothing you know. Sheesh. I understand your concerns. I guess this may have come as a shock to you. Well, im gonna shock you even more. Im 20. yes, im no longer a mindless teenager. I never was, to begin with.

Why is it that parents always think the best of their kids? Yet at the same time, assume that their kids are mindless people who would follow their peers? For goodness sake, im not that weak-willed.

I really thought that coming clean would mean that i'd feel better. That i dont need to lie abt where im going and with whom. But this seems to have backfired. I seem to be having to explain myself more! Take yesterday....i was calling yunxian and he thought i was having a chat with najib late at night. I mean why do i have to keep validating myself?

would you prefer me to keep you in the dark next time? I mean, for the past 6 months, keeping mum worked fine for me....at least telling sis and mom was great...telling you? Maybe it was a mistake. You'll never like any guy i bring home, would you?

And now, thanks to you, i feel guilty for my feelings towards my own boyfriend. Thanks a lot.

Worse, you had to bring up everything else. But the part that hurt me the most was that you thought that i lack direction. You thought that i have no idea what im studying in NUS. You thought that im still deciding between French studies and Psychology.

There is NO such thing as French studies. Im taking them as electives. And yes, im dropping them. But you werent listening, were you.

Maybe i'll never measure up to my siblings. You seem to take more interest in their lives than mine anyway.

Gosh, i love you but im so fed-up with you.

And how can you be so mean and quick to judge? So what if i hang out with my friends from dunman? Just because they're from dunman doesnt make them bad people. You can be so arrogant sometimes. Who do you expect me to hang out with, seriously? I do go out with my JC classmates. If it helps, they're from VJ. V. So why were you still so disapproving on sat that you had to ruin my already soiled mood? I do hang out with NUS people as well. I see them ALL the time. Yet do you take that into consideration? That the reason i love spending time with my dunman friends is cos i rarely spend time w them during term time and catching up with them makes me happy? Of course you dont.

Let go. Gripping me too tightly would only push me away. Let go.

PS: The reason im not going out with any guy from NUS is because there was NONE that i was interested in nor, more importantly, was there ANY that were interested in me. SO there. What? You want me to put a personal add on IVLE? And so-bloody-what if theyre from uni? That doesnt make them saints automatically.

What-a-weekend.

Point of the day: I am a bad pms-er> I get bored easily> When i get bored, i switch off.

That aside, I left early from the class gathering just now. Unfortunately, I wasnt in the right state of...being. Refer to point above. Sigh.

Gosh. Where do i begin? Im exhausted.

First, I went to Najib's 'Social Nite' on Friday evening. It was ok. Met several of his friends. Bumped into June..the senior from swaps. Heh, met Najib's bunkmate. He brought his 6 year old sister as his date. So cute.

BUT that wasnt the highlight of the day. No, no no. It was before social nite.

Najib met my parents.

It was D-day. I always thought i'd bring him home only after he ORD but apparently, some plans had to change. My dad asked me where i was going. I tried my darnest to evade the question. I mean, if i said Safti, it would seem a little strange, now wouldnt it? So i cracked under pressure and told my dad. My dad then talked about responsibility, yadda yadda yadda...how the family should know who my friends are...who im going out with..that the family can give helpful comments on a person's character.

And so, Najib met them all. Except one of my brothers. Thankfully, all went well. And i left with him to attend the party. :)

Im so glad that its out in the open now. Only thing, my dad assumes he's a friend. Ah well. At least he know Najib exists. So im glad. And a huge huge sigh of relief.

:) My darling came to my house! :)

That aside, im also feeling a tad guilty now. I was on my way home just now and this man came up to at the mrt stat. He was, well, to summarise, trying to get to know me. I mean, he seems like a decent guy...He's a systems engineer from Qatar. He asked me if i was available. Haha. Of course, i said no. 1)he's a stranger 2) its true.
But i still feel guilty. He seems really like a nice guy. So poor thing. Working away from home which is like miles and miles away. I just hope he finds the right companion for himself.

Im tired. Gonna sleep early today. And not go out for the next couple of days. Im gonna stay home more often. I just think I should.

PS: My wisdom teeth (not tooth) are coming out. 2 on top. 1 below. Why?

Updates

I dont really know why but i cant seem to remember what i was doing yesterday or the day before, etc. I seem to live day to day. I mean i had to refer to my organiser to refresh my memory on what ive been doing over the past few days! Am i growing old? Or is my brain getting real rusty?

Anyway, on monday i went for a meeting with the Ridge. Gotta churn my bit for Jan's issue by this sunday. I spent the entire day with my dad after that. :) Went swimming. I swam 1km. Of course not non-stop lah. But i was satisfied. Hey, does anyone know what i can do to make sure my hair's not all dry after swimming?

Then on tuesday, i met up with Pema. Instead of the usual boring lunch/dinner/MEAL met up, we explored Arab street and went into the little shops. Heh, felt like a tourist in my own country. Next up, Little india. I mean i usually go to these places by car and with e family...we hardly go into the little shops so tuesday was nice :) Then i watched the DVD 'Sisterhood of the travelling pants". I admit the title seems strange but its a really nice ahhhhh movie. Alexis Bedel is acting in it. She's also plays Rory in Gilmore Girls.

Yesterday was slack day. Watched Kill Bill Vol 2 finally..then met up with sharena for a while..

Today. Hmm. today. Im supposed to go blading with karina....then theres kim and char's chalet/bbq which i dont think i can attend cos im meeting up w sha again so she can pass me some stuff for tmr.

Tmr is my darling's Social Nite. Silly that the guys have to bring dates or get guard duty or smt. Haha. Yep.

Sat is A53's outing!!! :) 7pm Esplanade.

Have i mentioned that my tuition kids would only resume tuition in feb??? FEB!!!! which means farah will have to keep a tight purse. Must stop splurging!!

However, the most pressing issue: To drop or not to drop out of SEP. Need to make the decision by 1700. :X

Spontaneous Sunday

Wohoo! Ive never laughed so much and so hard in a long time! Had a spontaneous catch up session with winston, briony and farhana. Thanks for a wonderful time guys! And i really hope our plans to travel next May materialises! Today was fun fun fun. :)

Cant wait for the 02a53 gathering this coming saturday either!

On a side note, I learnt how to cook Mee Rebus from nenek today too. Pretty easy actually.

Sunny mornings makes me feel happy

Woke up early(by my standards) today cos the glorious sun was burning my feet.

Such lovely weather. Wonder what i should do today...absolutely no plans.
There's something about waking up on a sunny saturday with no plans for the day. There's a sense of serenity i cant quite explain :)

Maybe im feeling at peace with myself cos i went running last night. Finally. And im rather pleased with myself. I ran non stop and at a constant speed which i deem to be decent. I wasnt chugging (i dont think theres such a word but it sounds like the word i mean) away...i was running leisurely. I was enjoying myself.

Now i wait...for the aches.

The NINTH?

Think i need to get a new pair of slippers/sandals.

Anyway, i think im getting the hang of doing nothing. Im amazed how time seems to fly by when you do nothing. Its like the 9th of dec already! What have i accomplised over the hols so far? Zilch.

:)

Im proud of myself. Its been a long time since i was last a professional bummer.

Heh, thanks guys, for the books recommended. But guess what? As soon as i typed the previous entry, i decided to look through my bookshelves for books ive never read before. Lo and behold....

Vile Bodies-Evelyn Waugh

:)

That will do for now.

Word of the day

Word of the Day for Tuesday December 6, 2005

logorrhea \law-guh-REE-uh\, noun: Excessive talkativeness or wordiness.

By his own measure, he is a man of many contradictions, beginning with the fact that he is famous as a listener but suffers from "a touch of logorrhea."

He is so [1]voluble that one wonders how his subjects get a word in edgewise. --Mel Gussow, "Listener, Talker, Now Literary Lion: It's Official." [2]New York Times, June 17, 1997

It's also not good if your date has logorrhea. --Monte Williams, "8 Minutes in the Life of a Jewish Single: Not Attracted? Next!" [3]New York Times, March 5, 2000

Mr. King, who possesses an enviable superabundance of imagination, suffers from a less enviable logorrhea. --Michele Slung, "Scare Tactics." [4]New York Times, May 10, 1981


There you go. There is A word for verbal diarrhea (cant stand this word. HOW do you spell it)

Books

I cant remember when was the last time I read a cheem book thats

1) a page turner
2) that makes me think
3) that requires me to have a dictionary beside me (in case i dont understand some words)
4) that's painful to begin but which leaves me satisfied at the end of the book

Anyone out there can recommend me some titles? :)

Sun's out! woohoo!

Just came back from swimming! Went with my daddy :) Ahhhhh.....so nice to feel the waters...plus the pool was relatively empty except for a bunch of weirdos sun tanning at 12 noon.

I think im a coat darker. Darn. Prefer swimming in the evening but ah well...with unpredictable weather these days, if the sun's out, cease the opportunity to do something outdoors! Its lovely to soak up the sun :)

Drove there and back. Its been a long time since i drove around.

I love swimming.....heck, anything's better than jogging!! Haha. Man, WHEN was the last time i ran? Im too embarrased to even think about it.

Soon though....Soon.

Did i mention?

That i have a new haircut?

That im bored?

That ive put on so much weight this year?

That i planned to do so many things to get rid of it but im doing nothing about it?

That my hair is taking over my life?

Hmm.

I need to eat less and exercise more.

Yeah, maybe i'll go run tmr.

Light me up!

I love going out with my darling. He makes me so happy :)

Went to orchard and walked about. Pretty lights all around. There's a photograph exhibition going on outside wheelock place, by some french dude. You guys should really have a look at them. Magnificent aerial views.

Anyway, read from yunxian's blog that results will be out on the 22nd. Heh.

Went out with mom, dad and sis today. Walked all around..looking for shoes for my sis and a pair of black pants pour moi. I mean, everyone should have a decent pair of black pants. Finally found one that doesnt amplify the size of my ass and hips. Its SO hard okay.

Anyway, I played the drums today!!!!! My dad was jamming (yes, he does..hahah) and i asked if i could try...so i did! For an entire song..though my sister was grimacing. Haha, i played to "Cant help falling in love" as my dad sang and his friend played the guitar. hehehhehe

So fun. I wanna learn how to play the drums proper!! :)

Last night

Yesterday's meet up with aisyah, ju and tini was really nice. Heh, realise that you can NEVER judge a book by its cover. Man, found out a whole load more about them. Yeah, it was nice seeing them again. And haha, probably minutes of my life were taken away as i sat among them and had to inhale the cigarette fumes. Amazing how many sticks they puffed while we chatted at starbucks. Still, the atmosphere, sans smoke, was great. And for a moment, just for a tiny flash of a moment, i wanted to try what it feels like to smoke...one of em told me that your head would feel disconnected from your body..haha. Yeah, but dont want lah. I think cholestorol from my present diet would be be enough to kill me. I dont need smt extra to kill me now do i?

We hung out at starbucks near borders. Bloody hell. Everyone there smoked. My hair stinks. And my throat felt so burnt. Haha. Sat there for like hours man.

Then at 1o, we made our way back to city hall. Met Rauf and presumably his date. Haha. Mini dunman gathering! There, i met up with najib. So gorgeous in his formal attire. But my gosh. He's so freaking shy. I was with my friends at the platform and as he came nearer, he slowed down and he was like "so many people". Sheesh. So we left...pity i didnt really intro him to them. Najib, you are too shy for your own good!!!! Those were my really gd friends you know!! Nevermind, next time! Sigh.

And boo. Im not gg wakeboarding anymore. :(

Friday already?

Surprisingly, my butt and right arm still aches from tue's badminton. Heh, im so unfit. Couldnt last 1/2 hour without feeling like im gonna collapse. Never mind, no pain no gain. Im gonna go running tmr. Hahah. Right.

Goint out with a few sec sch friends. No idea what we're gonna be doing but theyre a spontaneous bunch to be with so heh, wonder what will happen.

Karina!!! I wanna go wakeboarding!! But wait, is 80 bucks cheap? But i dont mind! I wanted to try last sem but i had no one to go with :(

Anyhoo, Im thinking of dropping french. Dad wasnt too happy bout that. I bet he thinks that im the kind of person who quits when the going gets tough. But seriously, i really do love french...but if its gonna suck my cap down, shouldnt i just cut and run? I mean, logically, i should. I want to do honours in psych..not french for goodness sake!

Thinking of taking mandarin. Fiza says its fun...plus i can absolutely guarantee that i have friends to teach and communicate with me. Heck, look around! Haha. Unlike French!

Anyway, gonna get the book from her and yunxian's gonna tutor me!! :)

Still, im not sure, its kinda sad to drop french. Dont know lah. Darn module preference exercise is making me think of the modules to take for next sem already. So far, im thinking of taking biological psych, develomental psych and i/o psych. Wanted to take a level 4000 module called advanced abnormal psych. I emailed the HOD but he said that i should have to wait till my 4th year to take it cos level 4000s are for honour year students. yeah. IF i get to do my honours.

Yeah, so thats 3 modules....if i take LAC1201, then i need one more.....but what? I cant stand any other faculty modules....eek.

Any suggestion? Preferably a module i can ace? hehe

Im a chicken

I admit it. Im a scaredy cat.

Couldnt sleep last night cos i was shit scared after watching the exorcism of emily rose. Hey, you must understand. The movie ended at 12 midnight. The mall was empty. It was raining heavily. Worse, i had to sleep in the hall all alone.

I tried shutting the movie out. Tried watching something on channel 5 but everything was to no avail. I was hypersensitive to everything ard me. What was that? etc.
SO i went online..chatted with cheryl and nabilah. Helped a little..then farhana had to remind me that 3am was coming. Darn her. For those who watched the show you'd understand the significance of 3am.

Told myself..."sleep farah..its just a show...its just a show". so i hid under my blanket. So hot. But i was so scared to move. Then i fell asleep with my mp3 tunes playing in my ear. But nooooo, dunno why, i had to wake up at 2.45am. Exactly. Shits. Someone had switched the lights off. Great.

I was like okay.....what should i do?? SO, i hurriedly picked my pillows, blankey and everything else and adjourned to my parents room. Settled down on the floor next to their bed. Tried to sleep..but i couldnt....i was facing the toilet door...eek. Toilets arent exactly friendly places at night are they? SO i crawled in bed, beside my mom...woke her and told her i couldnt sleep cos im scared...she moved and made space for me and i hugged her to sleep.

This morn i woke up and my dad laughed at me. Tried to scare me. Sheesh.

Youre probably laughing too. But my goodness. I was damn scared lah. So relieved to see daylight.

Interests

Ive just come to realise that finding people of similar interests is actually quite hard. I mean, your idea of a good time and hanging out may be different from someone else. My point is, that you can be friends, but ultimately, your friends may not share/enjoy the things you do.

Like for instance, as i was bored, i decided to think of people who like to do what i like to do...etc. And sadly, i realise that most of the friends are the sorta friends that i can only relate to in school. you know, like bitching abt modules and the like and talk abt life and all. Theyre great people to actually sit down for a meal/movie and maybe that kind of hang out.

But how bout other stuff? The only badminton kaki i have is adeline...are there any more of you guys who like to play too?? i mean you cant play badminton alone!!
And how bout more outdoorsy kinda ppl? Anyone wants (and can) go for trekking etc etc?
How bout snorkelling? And running (ok, i have farhana to cover this) and blading (thanks karina) and other fun stuff?

Shopping is okay...but even so, the only person i ever enjoy shopping with is my sister.

Haiya, bottom line, when i go out with friends, must it always be over a meal? No wonder im fat.
Boo.

Or maybe i just dont know people well enough as i ought to?

Is there anything else thats interesting?? Huh?
I really dont mind watching movie/dinner/lunch etc...but surely there's more that friends can do right?

will i ever find people who can tolerate me and who share similar interests so that travelling with them would be fun? I would very much like to travel with friends....but with who??

SIGH.

Monday and missing my darling

So, apparently, i did nothing on friday and saturday. Its okay. 2 wasted days. I was sick..and tired on friday. Felt thoroughly down cos i had absolutely nothing to do. Then plans on saturday didnt happen...but luckily, sunday made up for it and the weekend ended on a nice note. Thanks, baby :)

Was a bit bummed that i cant have the whole week with him. That was the original plan. After his BSLC, he'd have a one week break...BUT, he was selected for something and hence, he had to book in this morning. Still, at least after months of not going out with him, that one day was really refreshing :) Im so proud him. OCS. :) $$$ :) :) :) hehheheheheh. Kidding lah. But Chris says that they earn much more than other people...hmm.

So i sent out like mass sms to some old friends to make plans for this week. Ok lah, im playing badminton with cheryl and marisa tmr and later im watching movie with farhana at night, then watching harry potter with sis on wed...then thurs/fri might go out with tini/kin/ju. Not sure bout that. At least im gg out. Sigh. Or maybe i shouldnt go out so much. I should stay home. Hang out here more often.

Anyway, if youre bored, you know where to find me.

Contemplating of getting a new phone plan. But that would mean i gotta change my number. But the plan is like way way cheaper than my current one and i get 1000 free smses. thats nuts man! :) :) :)
But to get a new handphone number? Ive had this one since i was 15!!

Anyway, winston and kenneth, how come i cant access your blog?

Karina just asked me if im thinking of getting a job. That never occured to me. And no, i dont wanna work. Had enough of work during term time. I wanna have fun. But how does one have fun alone? FRIENDS!!! where art thou?

Hmm, my student did well for her PSLE. Am proud of her. Wonder if they'll employ me next year! heheh.

Ya ah. I cant keep spending. I mean, income out...where's the income coming in from? Gargh. Anyway, bought 2 tops yesterday. Wohoo. Next, i need pants. Black ones that can pass off as both formal and informal. Then i think i wanna get a haircut. oh yea, i dyed my hair golden brown on saturday. But my hair still looks the same colour. Ah well. Dont think i need shoes...nor do i need a bag. Ah, yes, i need more jeans/pants whatever. Been using the same one the whole semester. But then, jeans are like that. You can have a whole load of them but you always end up wearing that same one.

Alright, since i have nothing to do, i shall read the books that i borrowed yest..and spend time with my paternal grandma. And maybe meet up with my mom and go shopping with her?

hehe.

Its the ho...ho..holi..ah-choo (excuse me) days.

Bleah. I mean. YAY. Ive finished my exams. Wait, i think that yay deserves a line of its own.

YAY

Yup. Sem 1 over and done. Hope i do well. etc etc etc

Right.

Now what?

After leading a highly regimental life of studying, im hit with nothingness. What do i do? I have absolutely no plans.

IM FREE IN DECEMBER, dear friends...so look me up.

Unless im sick....dreary december. Im like sneezing and having blocked nose lah. Cant even sleep cos i cant breathe.

Adeline, when are you coming back? Badminton...leh
In fact, 02a53, please let our outing happen. :)

Yunxian, Karina and Justina. Settle on a date for your birthday treat. Ive decided to treat you guys to ice-cream.

Can someone gimme a list of things to do?

Ive come up with this so far
1) Sleep
2) Recover from flu
3) Start exercising when it doesnt rain...(i prefer the outdoors, ade dear)
4)watch harry potter

Hmm.

Stupid. me.

Im probably gonna be one of the few morons to flunk an SS paper. Singapore Society. Damn paper. I went completely blank. BLANK.

I used to think that i have the gift...the gift of crapping but you know what? Im dumbo who cant even crap about singapore society. For God's sake, i live IN this society and i went blank.
I was a former Lit student for goodness sake.....crap crap crap is suppose to come naturally to me...and yet what happened?

Was i too complacent throughout this module? I think i was. If so, i deserve the miserable grade that i will most likely get.

Darn it. There goes my CAP. There goes my honours.

I WILL NEVER TAKE A SOCIOLOGY MODULE AGAIN

Feeling utterly miserable now.
I saw it coming. I knew. I couldnt even study the module. I didnt know how. So i paid the price.

Dont try to console me, saying that moderation or luck or smt might make my grade not too bad. Cos you know what? I was expecting a FREAKING A for this module. Looks like i'll never get that now. NO way.

Darn it.

It should have been in my hands.

And whats worse, the paper, on hindsight wasnt really that hard. WISH it were....so EVERYONE ELSE CAN FAIL WITH ME...but no.

So cruel. I wont enjoy my holiday at all. Next up, stats 2. Gosh, i will not be complacent this time. SIGH.

Dear God, if you read this blog, (which probably you will..in fact you know my thoughts and know what im gonna ask for...) please let me do okay for the SS paper. I know i was wrong in being too presumptious. I accept whatever grade...just please let it not be too bad. Considering that i knew it was coming, and knowing i cannot get an A unless by some miracle (hint) i do, let me get a grade that i would be satisfied with.....Please? I know i havent been good but please..

(heaves sigh)
I think i should focus for the next paper now. Pray i do better for that.

Chilly

Wah......so cool. As in really really cool. Temperature wise. you know. Of course you know.
So nice to sleep but cannot! MUST study...

One down
Two more to go...

I can do it...

I must say, the weather certainly marks the coming of december. Nice rainy days...you end up sleeping and waking up at noon..cancelling that lunch date you made with friends on account of the weather...catching a cold and having to hole up in your room with lots of tissue paper and huddled under you blanket.....when promises you made to exercise all the lard off frm the year (esp from the exam period..heh) are all broken simply because its raining so you cant go jogging....

On second thought, maybe i dont want december to come after all. So dreary.

Mug

Was in the library pretty much the whole day. 8.30am till it closed. Then stayed in school till 12.30. Did stats. Drank red bull. It was free. Wonder where those red bull girls popped up from.Hmm. Tired.

Got french back. Bad.

Got film back. Happy. Very pleased indeed.

Covered a few chaps. Can lah. Should be able to cover.

Im beginning to feel much better. Thanks for the encouragement..you know who you guys are. :)

Went swimming wed morn...damn shiok.

Also, i realised ive pretty much read every single chapter for abnormal psych and done almost all the readings for SS except for 2. Hmm :) Not bad....although i did them over the course of the sem so i cant remember much. BUT at least, ive read them :)

Heh,........cant remember what i wanted to type.

ah well. Mug away!

Catharsis

Ive started studying, finally. Not at the pace i wanted it to be, but ive started nonetheless.

Ive been crying. I cant stop crying. I dont know why. Little things make me cry. Sometimes, thinking of crying makes me tear. Like now.

Im not suffering from depression. Cant be. According to DSM-IV-TR, intense sadness etc would last for at least 2 weeks.

Maybe im having a panic attack. My temples are throbbing real bad. Im avoiding my books. Im over eating.
Ive never felt so stressed in uni before. I mean i keep telling myself
"Farah, you only have 3 exams! You have no excuse not to get As for all of them..theyre within reach...dont regret...study NOW...this is your chance to pull your CAP...come on, some people have 5 exams to put up with. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE."

:'( Why am i doing this to myself?

I just wanna go on a holiday..or sleep and dream my exams away.

But i cant. Can you imagine, that i was so desperate to be focused/not distracted, that i told Najib that i wont sms/talk/contact him till my last paper ends. I mean, i remember, before we got together, he gave me a month off. And so I thought, i should follow suit. He's been so supportive...But you know what? Ive come to realise that im so stupid. Why am i depriving myself of the very thing that makes me happy and sane? Im gonna call him tonight. I need to. Or i'll go nuts.

Im focused...but i need to breathe.

Not that i think i deserve to but I MUST. Or i wont be able to do anything..

I just want a hug.

2 down

Im in school now...waiting for justina to have her web cast lecture break. Yes, im not kidding. I want my laksa!!!!

Handed in my last film project. I can forget about double tick lah. Sigh. Was rushing like a mad woman. Thanks justina and cherylN for calming my nerves..and offering me your laptops.

Was in the library with CherylLee. Why cant i concentrate? After lunch, im gonna collect my SS paper (oh boy) and head on HOME. Maybe im just too distracted or smt......gargh.

I MUST MUG!!!

Read AVE's (hehe) blog. Wah, i think i better read up on Islam. Malu that i cant seem to answer some of the questions man.

One down

Four more modules to go. And by tomorrow, 3 more :)

French test was hard. But almost everyone was complaining so Im relieved to know that at least, Im not the only one! Many thanks to Xiaowen and Kenneth for aiding me last evening, allowing me to clarify some stuff i just could never understand!

Also, Im glad that French ended on a pleasant note. The oral wasnt bad at all. I actually found myself able to chat fluently (or so i hope). I guess thats cos i was calm. At the end, he said "Bon" so i hope that means "Good" and not ''well...." Either way, i'll find out next thursday.

I think I had better to get started on my last film N hist project. Double tick? Yes, please.

For fun

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself: You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for: You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship: You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love: You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you: You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success: Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of: You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self: You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

I got the quiz off Ave's blog.Yup. La la la

We got a B.

SIGHHHHHHH.

I ought to be grateful but why am i unhappy? I mean i really thought we'd be deserving of at least..at the very least, a B+. I was even hoping for an A-.

Wonder which groups got A.

B

Darn it. DARN it...now i must study darn darn hard for the finals. Sheesh.

Im beginning to realise that what goes up must come down. Been having a pretty good sem till recently.

If i were to be optimistic, what that is down must go up again right? Right?

Anyway, maybe its good that I didnt get the grade i wanted not only for stats but for film and french...and who knows? Maybe even SS? So at least i wont be as complacent.
Yes, yes, I HAVE BEEN KICKED. Thank you.

Got back my abnormal..if yunxian's calculation of the mean is right, then i guess im above it. But can you imagine? I was not happy. Why? No idea. Think im turning into an overachieving freak.

Felt horrible so i went for a run yesterday.....and my gosh...exercise really is good for you....i felt immensely satisfied....and alive.

And im all rearing to go...to start mugging like i ought to.

Still, a B.

Nerves

Feeling extremely MEGA anxious........

STATS project report grades are out......Oh dear...oh dear...oh dear....

Im at home now, wish I could just run to school to take a peek at the grade.....but realised the absurdity..
Rang Justina and Cheryl Lee to no avail...Cheryl Nott's on her way to AS6 as I type this....managed to let Kim know already..Gosh...im so bleeping nervous....

We spent so much time and effort on the report....God, please......

ahh! How long does cheryl take to walk to AS6??!!!!

Patience is a virtue...patience is a virtue....Paaaaaatieeeeeeeeeeenceeeeeeeeee...

Kicked

Got back my french results....KICKED

Got back my film project 4.....KICKED

:-*

Fine, im motivated enough to start mugging.

Sheesh.

:-*

Reality Check

I think, ive been enjoying myself too much.

Perhaps its the festivities, perhaps the post-project/term paper euphoria. Or, perhaps im darn lazy.

I just realise, that I, Farah, officially have 15 days to prepare for my FINAL EXAMS!!! What the heck am i doing, waking up so late and going around as though im on holiday already?

Someone, please, KICK ME.

That said, on the bright side, i had the opportunity to wind down and relax...so i can start afresh.

Excuses.

Haha

Selamat Hari Raya!

:)

Cant believe one month of fasting came to an end yesterday as we celebrated the end of the holy month of Ramadan. Insya-allah, will get to commemorate the next Ramadan.

Went to the graveyard for the first time. Vistied my Grandma's grave...and a few other relatives. Saw someone being buried...on Hari Raya. Someone dies everyday, i suppose. Being there, i was reminded on the temporarity of life...here today but you never know when you're gonna go..

Anyway, i miss her. First Hari Raya without her.

On a lighter note, my aunt and cousins came to visit and i finally saw a new addition to our family..Baby Naqif/Nakif....so cute!!!! At least he didnt cry when i held him. :) I realise that its kinda easy to make babies laugh and smile...you just gotta make silly faces and googly noises. Haha. Though observing adults doing it is kinda funny.

Alright, thank you so much cheryl lee, melinda, linyen, karina, justina, winston, norman, kat, vemalan, manju, renu and all who wished me (apologies if i forgot to mention you)..sorry i didnt reply your greetings ya? Thank you soo much nonetheless! :)

Anyway, in the spirit of Hari raya, Maaf Zahir Batin, which translate to : Forgive me if ive ever offended or hurt you...

Alright, ive gotta leave for French make-up lessons.

Pseudo holidays!

First, Happy Deepavali to all my Hindu friends!

Im in school now..can you believe that there's so many people in school? NUS students need to get a life. (yeah, and the one typing this is in sch herself. heh)

I guess its cos datelines and project reports are due this week...like stats report due tmr. Waiting for Kim to come before we start...

Yeah...cant wait for this week to end..then i can start mugging full time.

Hari Raya's coming!

Anyway, i met up with Najib yesterday. Even though it was only for 2 hours, it was worth it. Had a wonderful time, darling. Thank you.
And you really looked gorgeous dressed in your baju kurung :)
And your hair cut :)
Whee~

Essay

Film N history essay.....is HISTORY!

Im done! Clap hands! Wohoo! Yay!

Post no 195

Yup, so it is.

My darling's reading my blog as i type this. I actually dont think he needs to considering i constantly update him about my life!

Anyway, he's on his Hari raya break which starts today and lasts for 5 whole days :) Might see him on monday night. Yay.

As for my film n history, well, i encountered a mental block. Utter frustration as ive only managed to squeeze 430 words thus far. But i will press on....not that i have a choice but i will be darned if i dont finish at least half of it by tonight.

And i heard that my article's out...cant wait to have a look at it! :)

And ive finally factored in a time to go shopping with my mom at geylang serai! The day before hari raya! Wed! Cos i only have a lect from 8-10am...plus, i would have finished my stats report so nothing else due anytime soon. :)

Yups!

Okie, back to work.

Papers Schemapers

First and foremost, THANK YOU JUSTINA for submitting my film and hist project.

My goodness. I think this has gotta be one of the worst and ill-thought papers ive ever written. It probably doesnt make sense after the introduction paragraph. Think its too example driven. Too narrative. Blah. I had no choice. I mean it was hard defining what "doing the right thing" is! And i dont know why i lacked the inspiration to write it. Perhaps cos there's so many things to say and yet nothing to say and i had to rush against the clock cos i was oh-so-smart to sleep and think that ample sleep would make me have a fresh perspectives on thing. NYAH.

Thanks justina for submitting it....so i had at least 45 mins more to think about it..and edit and stuff.

Alright, just one MAJOR essay due on monday at 4pm and another project due in 2 weeks time and i'll be done with Film and History.

Monday's french test is listening comprehension (for which im in big trouble. need to dig ears) and written comprehension (for which im also in big trouble cos i usually need a dictionary). But essentially, i cant study for it cos its not grammar...

Which means, i have the entire day plus weekend to write my Film essay. I wanna make it a good one! :)

Oh dear, i havent set aside a day/time to shop for my hari raya clothes. Ah well, worse case scenario, i'll just wear what i wore last year. Like who'd remember? Seriously?

Where's my abnormal psych results? Tsk tsk.

Kick me!

Someone, kick my procrastinating posterior!!

I have a film essay to do and im supposed to be done by monday but then i have a french test on monday. Gargh. So i have till sat to do my essay. Sat? ARGH! SATURDAY!!!!

Ps: I realised that i havent said happy birthday to some of my friends. Happy belated birthday to Adeline and Karina. Happy Birthday in advance to Yun xian and Xiaoyan.

Am i missing anyone else? :)

One month from today, I will be free~ My last exam will be today..in one months' time! Yippee!

Dyslexic in statistics

Borrowed my title from cheryl's nick..

Im still up all because of stats!!!!! Who ever said that SPSS was idiot proof? Grr...

To think that stats presentation is only 15% out of 25 marks...which is (drum rolls) 3.75 marks!

Why am i up again?

Been too lazy to blog...

Title says it all.

True...its like everytime i wanted to type, i couldnt be bothered. Haha. Except today, cos its my free day and im feeling extremely happy.

I guess my happy streak started on wednesday when i got back my stats. Alhamdulillah! Yay!! I did well :) And im glad i did...cos well, the day before my grandma passed away, i told my mom that i'd visit her after my stats test...but well, she passed away before i could and i took my test on a later date...and i did well...somehow, that makes me feel a little better...i cant really explain it...

So anyway, after having a chat with najib, i realise that i shouldnt be so competitive...he reminded me that i should try to beat my personal best (CAP) and not worry abt others. Yeah, he's right...i feel better now.

And after receiving my french test 2 results, ive given up on my quest to get an A..when you have ppl in class getting 37/40, you dont stand a chance. Not that ive given up doing my best of course! I'll do my best, but if i dont get an A, i wont be bummed. Gotta be realistic.

Maybe thats why i feel happier...less stress i suppose? And the fact that i finally submitted my essay for SS after letting my tutor know my worries abt being penalised for writing a boring topic..he assured me he'll read mine first and he wont hold my topic choice against me.

Next up, my film and history. Watched Godfather that day...nice! Wonder which movie to write about....

(Stretch)Its my free day today.
Gonna make sure my weekend will be productive...
Got stats proj grp meeting tmr...presentation's on monday...and report's due the subsequent week....

And then its HARI RAYA! yay. :P

And ooh, i might get to see him tmr night for ice cream! :)

Dark day

Listening to "It must have been love" by Roxette. I remember the first time i heard it. I must have been in primary 3 or 4. The soundtrack of Pretty Woman starring Julia Roberts.
Nice.

Anyway, today was kinda...bleaugh.

Had abnormal test this morn. Studied really hard for it. I mean i covered every single chapter and some chaps ive read twice. 40% MCQ. I pray i do well...but i realise that i made a few blunders already. Why do i keep changing my answers? Gosh, i hope i do well...i really love abnormal psychology. I mean, ive finally found my calling. I wanna be a psychotherapist. This is THE field i wanna delve into. I know this sounds cliche, but i wanna help people. I really do. And abnormal has revived my love for psychology....please dont take this away from me....It sounds silly right? To have my passion be determined by grades...but its true...if i dont do well for this module, then i'll doubt if this is IT. I dont know....I guess theres nothing much i can do about the 40%.....if its meant to be, it is i suppose....

Then had SS tutorial. Why did i have to do a very very dry topic? About identity? Grr. I actually found my topic interesting but realised that youth subculture is a much more exciting and DARN EASY topic to do. Darn it. Everyone who does on youth subculture's gonna do darn well lah. What am i going to do? Ive finished about 80% of my paper....im just left with editing and tweeking here and there. Its due on sat but i have to finish it by tonight...or else i'll be pushing my other modules further...

Need to prioritise. Thats it. Im gonna submit it tmr.

Then im gonna start on film.
Then stats.
Then french.

Will it ever end?
yeah. NOV 25.

PS: Might be signing up for trekking in dec with NUS rovers...asked Tini and my dunman friends along...hope it works out.

Phew

Time flies. Its can you believe it 15 Oct already?

Whoa.

Completed that darn SS paper yesterday. Yes, i spent almost the whole Sat morn and afternoon putting my thoughts into that essay. Although, i feel its only 90% complete. Im going to incubate it. You know, return to it in a few days time with a fresher perspective. Realise that if on Tuesday, i read it and it doesnt make sense, at least i can edit it.

Started on my abnormal psych as well. Problem is, i cant really remember what ive read. Sigh. And chaps 1 and 2 and 17 are so incredibly boring. Think im gonna leave them till i finish the rest. Thank goodness on the whole, abnormal psych's interesting. I dont mind reading it at all! :)
This is what studying should be all about! Interest and fun. :)

Test's on tuesday. In fact, i think i have 2 tests on Tuesday. Abnormal and SS (tho the tutor didnt say so but i suspect our 10% tutorial participation would be translated to the marks he gives us for our upcoming mini write up.)

Also, im thinking of skipping the film shown tmr so that i can go home earlier and study for psych. Yeah, think i'll do that. I mean its The Godfather. Ive watched that already...So, i'll just go for lect and leave before the film...i can always watch it on wed during my break :)

Alright, i seem to be in an optimistic mood. Thats good! At least, in a happy disposition, my mind would be more receptive to what i read. :)

Whirl, twirl, swirl....whoa.

Its 9.40am on a friday. I would have been done with my SS term paper. In fact I should have finished it by Wed, as i kept insisting and telling everyone. But ive come to realise that i can be all take and no action.

Take yesterday for instance. I told myself that i would not sleep until i finished my term paper so that i'll be able to focus on abnormal psych. Instead, i felt zilch motivation to do it and considering i was already half way to Z land (thanks to my sis who was sleeping right in front from where i was), i decided to read a chapter on suicide. At least that seemed more interesting. Not that im suicidal. Its a topic for my test.

So anyway, i woke up early this morning thinking, sheesh, lets get SS out of the way. Get cracking! Instead, i found myself reading blogs of friends from past and present.
Its kinda good once in a while to just get/read updates abt your friends.

So anyway, im gonna promise to get started after i finish posting this entry. I have to lah. I must. Cant keep pushing it back just cos dateline was pushed. Come on, farah....

On a more personal note, i miss my Najib. I havent seen him Oct 1st. And that was merely for a late night movie in his attempt to cheer me up after my grandma's death. In any case, we realise the impossibility of meeting till after hari raya. Or well, maybe after my exams. Simply put, for the entire fasting month, we both have to dine with our respective families during the weekend. After breaking fast, he'd usually go for terawih, special prayers held at night. And that might end pretty late. I wouldnt want him to skip prayers for me. Its good that he goes :) So that leaves sunday, which is family day for both of us and of course, the day he books in.

Then when hari raya arrives, his weekends would be filled by his family. I mean, most likely they'll be visiting relatives and all. As for me, Nov is mug month. All the way till the 25 of NOV, i shall not be able to see him.

Well, thank God for handphones. At least we still communicate. (altho yest he dropped his hp in the sink and his hp was not working for a while) He still calls me when we're not tired...actually, even if he's tired, he'll call me. He's so sweet.

So anyway, i guess i shall have to wait till NOV 25. Yup.

Alright, i think ive stalled enough. Shall get started on my essay ok?

In Tense

Like yunxian mentioned yesterday, i think people are getting really nervy in NUS, with the datelines and mid term tests and all. I guess im no exception. Ive become paranoid!!

Well, at least ive been feeling okay lately. I mean SS dateline and my article's dateline has been pushed back by a week. But still, i feel like i should get em over and done with as quickly as possible. Also, stats MCQ result was a mood lifter, although almost everyone did as well if not better. Alhamdulillah nonetheless.

Doumecq said my oral wasnt bad. In fact he said it was good overall. Hmm. Wonder what he meant by good. But considering i thought it'd be bad, good is well, good. Right?

Waiting for my bro to fetch me soon.....and im darn lazy to do work...even though i MUST.

Hmm, maybe i should think of that satisfying feeling after accomplishing smt.....that ahhhh feeling...yes, i shall strive for that.

Bring it on

Today's French test was a bummer joy-killer total bleurgh. I felt so stupid. Still do. Doesnt help that i have brilliant friends and classmates. Great. Just perfect. I will never in a million years smell an A for french. Im beginning to doubt if i can even scrape a B this time. The funny thing is, I feel that ive put in more effort this sem than the previous sems. Not that it matters. Everyone else is probably working as hard if not more than i am. Darn you people. (sigh, its fasting month...must practise restrain)

Still, is it me, or are the ppl around me getting competitive? Come ah. But let me just warn you, competition is a double edged sword. It can spur you on, but you can also self-destruct.

So if there's anyone of you out there who wants to compete with me, i say bring it on. Just tell it to my face if you want to. Dont pretend that youre not.

Though, note to self and everyone else out there, my only competition is myself. Cos who cares what other people get? I mean, I just wanna be satisfied knowing that ive done my best...but when provoked into competition, be warned, i will rise to the occassion. I will beat you to pulp.

You have been warned. Do not incur my wrath.

PS: forgive my rather icky mood entry. French. Blame it on the french test.

Keep on moving...

Wah..my fingers are freezing. In the central lib. Must say, everyone's busy busy busy working on their respective term papers.

So why on earth am i in school on my free day? Heh, i had to hand in my film proj 3, which by the way, is rather crappy in content. Ah well..at least i submitted it. :)

Had a consulation with my SS tutor. Was totally loss and fickle as to which topic i was gonna do. Eventually settled on one and im gonna get started soon. Initially, i was suppose to do with yunxian but quite frankly, i dont wanna jeopardise her grades. Sekali last minute i change topic! Choy. Hope not.

Yeah, so im "working" on an intro paragraph for it.

Does anyone out there have a singaporean friend of chinese + indian origin and who's not muslim? PLEASE get back to me like NOW.

Have a french test on monday. Yesterday's oral was kinda funny. It was over and done with so quickly. And my tutor kept interrupting me that ilost my train of thought. Well, at least i tried. 20 percent....in less than 10 minutes.

Next, I have this 30% SS term paper. I really really wanna do a good one. If only i had more solid facts and well, more confidence. I need to be sure of what i wanna write before i write it. I dont want it to be a rushed substanceless paper that my most of my previous essays were.

Likewise with film essay which is due at the end of the month. I havent even thought much about what im gonna write.

Then theres the abnormal MCQ which is 40% and would be a brilliant waste if i dont study hard for it. 40% for a mid term given that its MCQ is God-sent. I must take advantage of that! If i'd only touched my textbook earlier.

But you know what? In the flurry of datelines and all,

I will chill.

I wanna enjoy what i do. If i dont, im pretty darn sure it would translate itself to my essays..

Yup. And before you know it, the month would be over and it'll be HARI RAYA!! :)

Then just 2 more weeks of school, then finally a one week reading week when i can mug un-interrupted for the finals.

AND then, HOLIDAYS!!!

Life goes on and i know that. I miss her a little. Wonder what hari raya would be like this year.

PS:Thanks to all my friends who stood by me last week. You know who you guys are. Thank you so so so much. Think i would have cracked otherwise.

Baba

Dear friends,

My grandma passed away yesterday.
She was 90
She was strong
She is/was the gentlest lady ever
My Baba

I cant bring myself to type anymore w/o tearing (already am)

Not gonna blog further about this.

Inna lillahi wa inna illahi rajiun.

Allahhuakhbar.

PS: Life on earth is only a transitory period. I think that in some sense, this has been a painful reminder that i shouldnt be completely immersed with my "worldly affairs". I had forgotten that death comes to us all. Inevitably. And we will be judged upon what we have done in this world. So as we go about doing what we do, i think it is wise to humble ourselves with the knowledge that in death, our achievements and merits (grades, career and everything material) will not matter. But it is our deeds, our actions, and our sins that would.

Life (or a lack of it)

Monday. School. Bleugh.

Actually, today wasnt that bad...except this morn when i got my french test back *mutter mutter* It isnt that bad lah. But I expect more of myself. Film was okay. Stats proposal approved. So yeah.

Anyway,

Had an interesting question thrown at me over lunch by su teck.

Suteck: So farah, besides academic stuff, what do you do during your free time? (ie hobby)
Me: Blank. Blink. blink.

Note to self: Get a hobby, woman. Sheesh.

Another level

So yesterday, after much anticipation, my darling and I went to Seoul Garden and pigged out.

You see, Najib didnt have much faith in my eating abilities. i.e. he thought that i was the kinda girls who'd eat a little and feel full. He even went on to say that "we're not ready...our relationship hasnt reached that level".

I say, bring it on.

And so we did. Hehehehheh. I WON!! (and theres no way you can say you gave me face cos puhlease..you looked so pained!!)

I, yes I, was the last one standing(eating) as he raised his white flag (his white wet towel seoul garden provided by seoul garden)

Muahahhahah.

But i must say lah, i cant fault him. The food kinda got boring after a while. We tried almost everything on display that after nearly 4 hours there, we basically had nothing to eat .Nor the appetite to cos everthing tasted the same.

So we left seoul garden with bulging tummies, nauseated. Urgh.

Walked all the way home. Which was great cos at least we exercised and felt better.

Man, can you imagine feeling so bleeping full that you find it difficult to walk, and talk at the same time? Hahhahahah.

Ahh...what a day/night.

Mommy!! Its over!!

Cant believe term break ends today. In fact, some friends have school today. Poor things.

Still, what have i done this term break? na-da. zilch. zero. kosong.
Note to self: Do not read Eugene's blog unless youve had a productive day.

On the other hand, as ive mentioned earlier, this week has served as a "refresher" week for me. Not that i deserved it in the first place. But i guess what this means is that i'll have to work doubly hard till the cows come home and become beef. (Sobs)

Also, it will be scary going back to school. I'll be getting back most of my assignments. Will be getting back my film project, french test and the stats proposal. Then OH MY GOD....i have A STATS MID TERM TEST ON WED!!!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

And i have a SS term paper due 15 oct
And a film essay due 31 Oct.
And a french oral in 2 weeks time
And tonnes of french hmk due this week
And a stats lab assignment...
And i havent printed out all my unprinted lect notes. ARGH.

Panic. Panic. PANIC!!

Blast from the past

Its kinda funny, looking back at old photographs. The memories; "gosh, i was that fat?!" to "oh my gosh, im fatter now" to "what was i thinking wearing that?!" Ahh. Memories. Coincidentally, i wasnt the only one reminisicing about the Dunman days. haha. Briony, thank you so much for letting me read what i wrote 4 years ago...wow. I amaze myself. Cringe.
Here's what she blogged:

An autographed entry
Before I left Dunman secondary, I passed around an autograph book for my classmates to fill.I've decided to put up a particular entry because
1) It's flattering - to a certain extent
2) The person who wrote it reads my blog
3) The person has a sense of humour
4) I wanna prove a point to her.. I HAVEN'T LOST MY AUTOGRAPH BOOK. (Read on to understand the reason to my capitalised sentence.)

First page:WELCOME.....Foolish Mortal!Muah.. Ha..Ha...Enter at your OWN risk!!!Muah. Ha! Ha!*But remember.....Curiosity killed the cat!!Hahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahaha...................

2nd page:So I see.... I see you have not heeded my warning! Fine for thou shalt suffer a fate worse than any man can ever imagine..... to read a pathetic entry by the one called F***H THE GREAT! (suspense music) Ha! Ha! HA! Yes.... you bumbling moron.... you have started reading... the curse is initiated!!! (Suspense music again) Don't quiver now... it's too late... thou's impending doom awaits!!! (Music again..... Gawd, this is getting stupid.) What is thou mumbling under thou breath? Thou does not believe in the curse that has been passed down for a zillion years? Hohoho.... you foolish, foolish imbecile!! Just you wait and see.... you'd be honkering page after page... but it isn't you... it's your fingers, your brains that will control you!!!! Soon you'd be too absorbed by the entry that slowly... slowly..... ha! Ha! Ha! HA!........

3rd page:*A lot of words telling me that no curse actually exists*She then continues: I'm gonna use up a lot of pages. So sorry.. but den again.... who cares? I want yer to remember me so I must write a lot.... right? Oh well... here goes nothing....

4th page:*Adding her personal details and answering the questions that I posed at the start of the book*

Q: If you had a million, what would you do?
A: I'd buy Briony a big house..... as if! Nah I'm buy loads of stuff for everyone.

Q: What is the one thing that really angers you?
A: Hypocrisy, negligence, irresponsibility, selfishness.... I could go on forever. (Really)

Q: 1st thing you notice about the opposite sex?
A: The way he walks, talks, eyes, hair.... the whole package basically. (yep)

Q: Would you want me to design your wedding dress?
A: Yep I'd be glad to have you as my designer.... Free hor!

Q: Do you find yourself the smartest, most beautiful person in the world?
A: I AM A GENIUS.... really! Just need to bring that brain out of my arse. I AM ALSO THE MOST BEAUTIFUL LADY THAT EVER EXISTED.

Q: What is the one nightmare that haunts you day and night?
A: Not having any fun people to tok to. Being around pple who have absolutely no sense of humour. I'd die.

Q: Anything worth remembering?
A: Meeting Briony and tormenting her school life in class.

Q: If you were to meet your idol, how would you prepare?
A: I am my own idol, so I'm pretty prepared.

Q: If there's one thing you'd like to change about yourself, what would it be?
A: Nahuh..... I LOVE MYSELF too much.

Q: Would you dye your hair pink?
A: ARE YOU MAD? Perhaps in another country but here? Pple are too judgemental and besides, I might get arrested!

5th page:Ok..... So I'm not done yet.... I promise, this is the last page... I got to finish my homework anyway!! hey you know what? As I'm writing this I wonder if this book will ever be lost! I mean you're so forgetful, I won't be surprised if you lose this... you'd better not though!! I've put in a lot of effort just for you!!! Hmph!!!Dearest Briony... you smart, funny, clumsy, forgetful person... my dear dear friend/buddy. Thanks for making my life in 4A a real blast... you're so goofy(That's a compliment) and funny that sometimes I look forward to school to 'play' with you! Be it talking about world issues, feminism(Did we?), singing practically nonsense, poking, beating the crap outta each other juz coz we feel the itch to do it.... ok...ok... that's mainly me but you get the idea.... I don't wanna flatter you too much or else your ego will be twice the size of your butt! Talking about butts, I think you should stop worrying about it unless you're scared it'll fall off.... (huh?) well well... I hope we stay in touch with each other ... in fact we must! you're really one nice person a gal can talk with..... I mean serious issues here!! you can be a debater you know! Or a poilitcal correspondant for the Straits Times/Newsweek. blabla.... it's really mentally stimulating to have a conversation with you!! That's really great coz not many pple can connect with me and my odd sense of humour. Thanks for being patient with my annoying alter ego!! I hope we remain friends forever. Go call me.....

Oh yes!! Don't forget I'm supposed to be your maid of honour!! better remember. you promised!


(CRINGE....did i really write all that Briony?)

Handover!

Yes, yet another dinner by SWAPS. When i told my sis that i was gonna be having a handover dinner by SWAPS she went like "AGAIN??" Well, not really what......ok lah, granted, I have been attending quite a number of swaps events even though ive stepped down.

Hey, but last night was a free dinner at a vegetarian indian restaurant called the Ganges at Peninsular Plaza...so why not? Plus, the 19th com gave us really nice gifts: A tiny scroll of appreciation and this wooden frame, with a small mirror in its centre and with our names written below it, and a finger puppet attached to it. :) Thanks guys! Could really see the effort you guys put in! :)

I went home yesterday cos well, the others were thinking of clubbing. Haiya, clubbing just isnt my thing. Quite frankly, Im scared to even step into one....i guess its cos my dad kept drilling into my head the bads of going to clubs.So naturally, i'd think that only "budak jahat" would go, drink, dance and well, get into trouble. I mean, i know my friends who go clubbing arent "budak jahats" but still, i guess i just cant shake that mentality off. Besides, i mean, i dont drink. I dont dance. I cant stand loud music. And i dont know why but when i think of clubs, i think of dark, dingy places. Eek. Maybe one day, i might have a look but yeah, anyway, I firmly believe that there are better ways to have fun.

Besides, i think if i were to stay out later than 12, my dad will panic. Haha. :)

Cant believe term break ends today. Havent done ANYTHING productive. Ah well, i shall treat this as "Recharge Week". After all, ive been sleeping for about 10 hours a day. Such luxury. :) But still, im a bit perplexed. Why do i look so tired when im not? I mean, i was looking at the photos i took yesterday during the dinner. How come everyone else seemed so radiant and i look so darn dull and tired? Gargh. I look so worn out. When its soooo not true. Hmm. Maybe i need to exercise more or smt. Anyone has any brilliant idea????

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Something is terribly wrong with me.

I woke up this morn (ie 1/2 hour ago) thinking its DECEMBER.

What the heck? I felt bliss. Like theres nothing to do...

WHEN ITS MID SEM BREAK AND IVE GOT TONNES OF THINGS TO DO!!!

I think my body and mind's in denial.

Someone, jolt me. Awake me from this lie I live....i mean december??!

Wasted!!!!

Just got back from IMH (Institute of Mental Health) as part of my abnormal psychology module requirement. I must say, that when i first stepped into the compound, i was really impressed. The place looks like a resort...and it didnt have that icky clinical feeling most hospitals would. :)

Anyway, i just broke my fast. But im not happy. Cos its like less than 2 hours before the official "break fast" time...but i discovered that my fast couldnt be counted cos i just got my period. GARGH. What a waste!!!! Like 2 hours more lah.

Oh well. At least i know i can survive once Ramadan arrives yet again. Yup guys, the fasting month officially starts on either e 3rd or 4th of October so yeah, Farah and her muslim friends wouldnt be able to eat nor drink for one month. :)

So why was i fasting today? Cos i owe certain number of days..and i gotta pay em back before fasting month. Yeah...Hope i can repay em in time....

Alright..im gonna eat now.

Still, 2 hours more. What a waste.

I wanna dance too!

Dance Reflection was awesome. Simply fantastic. Better than i expected quite frankly..and i thoroughly enjoyed myself! I mean, i dont usually go for dance perfomances but wah. Damn nice.

Hey cheryl, saw you dancing for the first time! Never knew you were good! :) So so proud of you! All that effort really paid off. Yeah, dance synergy was great. I loved the lighting and all too. I think it was apt to put your item first and Dance blast last. So at least the audience feel alive before and alive at the end. And Dance Blast was good man (though i wonder how come they wear such little pieces of cloth). Dance ensemble not bad too...they did this whirling thingy that i thought was kinda cool.

I must say, after watching them dance, i have new found respect for dancers. Cant really explain why but ya. And heh, how come you all look so hot on stage??????? And how come the guys are like always clad in their undies? Hahahahahha....wah, those guys can really really shake it...Never knew NUS had so many good dancers.

Yeah, i was so inspired to join dance...when i realised that dancers are slim, lean, fit and all.....NOT. hahahhahah....my hopes revived when i saw one of the dancers (you know which cheryl). hahhahah. Still, i wouldnt want to be caught prancing on stage with relatively few clothing (definitely less than i would want to) So malu lah. I cant make it anyway. Two left feet. And a back problem.

You guys should have watched dance reflections man. :)

BREAK!! wohoooo!

Its mid-sem break like finally!

Been a hectic week so yea, didnt blog...couldnt afford to cos i had so much work/datelines...

Phew.

Nice hot saturday. Am gg to watch Cheryl perform later at 7.30pm.

I think im gonna get ready soon.

:)

Yesterdays' post cos i got d/c

Wheeeeeeeeekend! Finally. Ahh...

Had an eventful day today. Had our stats project group meeting and im pretty impressed that we got to the crunch pretty quick. Progress! Ahh. :)

Then received a compliment. Apparently, Elaine wants to dress like me cos she claims I look smart. hahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha...thanks justina for relaying this to me... Yes, yes, my inflated ego..hahhaha...though Kim was rather startled by it. She thinks red is retro. Like huh? Hahhaha.

Then, i started on my stats hmk 2 which is due next fri. I havent completed it but hey, at least ive started.

Then i embarked on my first task as a journalist for The Ridge. We're doing a expose(ex-po-say..i cant seem to find the accent. Gargh) on the various coffee houses on campus. So armed with our media passes, we (me and clara, this year 1 law student) literally WALKED around campus in search of the best coffee available to deprived caffeine addicts in the guise of a student. (Eugene and yunxian..thats you) Hahaha...wont tell you our findings..look out for it in The Ridge (provided it meets the editor's standard). I must say, i thoroughly enjoyed myself...i mean we got free coffee, no questions asked when we showed our Press passes. The perks of being a journalist eh?

Oh ya, next time youre at clementi mrt station, watch out for dropping lizards. Shudders.

Yesterday was 3 months. Had dinner..watched Marche de L'empereur. Nice shows.....Baby penguins are soooo cute. I want one. hahaha....

I got a pretty plush flower! Thanks nudgie :)

Wed's whine.

Research Qn: Does mood experienced in the morning affect your mood later in the day?

Hypothesis: Mood experienced in the first few hours of consciousness would determine mood for the rest of the day.

Confounds: I have no idea..one too many.

Basis for research: Im (henceforth subject) in the mood for some catharsis (is that how you spell it)

First and foremost, subject reports feeling irritable on the journey to school.We are now going to follow subjects' emotional levels of the day.

Subject reports that her mood in the morning was sparked off by an unreplied sms. She also arrived in the lecture theatre early and sat alone. Subject reported feeling dejected. Subject's mood altered drastically to become positive when she realised her friend had not received her sms and when her friends sat beside her. Subject reports tendency to feel lonely when not surrounded by people. Condition is certified mild.

Subject's mood elevated futher upon intake of food. After completing a meeting with her CCA as a journalist, subject attempted to read her notes. She reports a lack of concentration and increasing irritability again when she wasnt able to absorb what she read.

Subject reports being able to smoother/placate her anger/irritability by focusing her energy on the fact that she was going to go out with someone later in the day.

Subject reports that by this time of the day, around 3pm, her mood was normal. She displayed chatty self. Around 3+, she reports her mood became negative. She felt disappointed that what she had been looking forward to the whole day (even the day before) didnt materialise due to unforseen circumstances. She reports trying to reason her emotions and rationalise that the other party shouldnt be at fault. Subject reports an inner conflict of emotions. She wants her friend to be happy yet at the same time, she felt upset that her friend was enjoying self. Upon feeling upset, her guilt set in. She felt guilty for being upset that her friend was happy. She reports feeling lousy and selfish. Self esteem plundered.

Subject tried to study as she had brought along a heavy bag filled with books. She went to the central library alone for two hours yet could not focus at all. Subject felt frustrated and wanted to scream as she had wasted yet another day. Monday was too tiring for her to study. Tuesday was burnt. Now wednesday. Subject kept thinking of upcoming datelines and reports feeling very anxious.

Subject decided to go home with friends. Subject reported having mood elevated again due to her chatty friends who unknowingly cheered her up. Food intake was also reported.

Subject reported feeling throbbing temples on her journey home alone. The bus was late and she felt powerless as precious minutes slips by her. She attributes this headache not to physical but mental concerns.

Subject feels better after typing this report.

Conclusion: The hypothesis that mood experienced in the first few hours of consciousness would determine mood for the rest of the day is not true. Subject experienced a myriad of emotions. Interestingly, mood at beginning of the day and at the end were identical. To do a follow up test? Perhaps. Also, note that subject have not had a good sleep record over the past few days. Irritability could hence be attributed to this. Subject is diagnosed with mild case of anxiety and needs to be around people.

Subject is tired but feels that she has to do a lot of work or she would not catch up.

Or, subject should get a good night's sleep and resume studying in a clear frame of mind.


DISCLAIMER: this "experiment" is purely based on my life. I have mixed stats and abnormal psych togther.This IS NOT how one should write a proper stats report nor abnormal psych report.

My monday.

Okay, kinda had a jam packed day actually. Didnt notice it until i reflected a little about what i did today.

Had french lecture this morn from 10-12.....i FINALLY understand how you differentiate the form l'imperatif from conditionelle present. Sheesh. Its actually the verb, conjugated the way one usually does for futur tense, and then add an "i" between certain letters. Yay.

Then, had a meeting with my fellow Lifestyle writers and Im gonna be covering a story on where to get the best coffee on campus! Its gonna be interesting..will be sampling coffee on wed before SS lect (how apt) Speaking of SS, im way behind in the readings. The sub editor (henceforth boss) kinda gave us a low down on our jobscope..so far so good. :)

Anyway, then had stats tutorial from 2-4pm and bleaurgh. I felt incredibly dumb...and im STILL confused between main effect, interaction and simple main effect and when to employ which. And i noticed something...there's 2 IVs right? Then how come during tut he kept mentioning smt about DV...where's the DV on our graphs?? HUH?!!!
Speaking of stats, im so so worried cos the proposal is due on wed...and the only time all 5 members can come together would be fri..gosh.

Film and history was at 4pm....watched Memento.Great show. You guys should watch it. I found it kinda disturbing..I shall save the review for my discussion forum. No need to replicate stuff eh?. Then i got back my first film essay..that i devoted so much time on..and i must say..it paid off :) :) :) Yay!!! Alhamdulillah. :)

Then after film, SWAPS had a birthday celebration for the Sept babies! Happy bdae, Justina, liangcai and joanna! :) And kudos to Linyen and Suteck and whoever organised the party! Was great! Steamboat and all..

And im so proud of myself..i didnt eat the chocolate banana cake everyone insisted was darn nice! Heehhehe (pat self on back)

Realise next week is the week of DEADLINES.
Mon=French test 1 and article for Ridge
Wed= stats 2 proposal
Fri= Film project 2 and stats hmk 2.

Oh dear. oh dear. oh dear.

And whoa...am tired..came home at ard 10.45pm..havent been home this late from school much these days..wonder how i did it last sem. Or was it the sem before? Madness. Ah well, i shall not sleep till i get some work/reading done..abnormal psych...maybe i shall read myself to sleep...but the book is darn heavy. Ah well, shall see how.

oh yes, run i did.

Went running with my darling to pasir ris park last night. Thought i did horribly but he kept insisting I was running ok. How I love him! Hahhaha :)

Yup. Well, at least i got off my butt and ran so im proud of myself. Yay. (applause please)

And im going on a chocolate fast. Shall not be consuming anything chocolate till my bro's birthday. Ive been snacking too much. Oh, but Kit kat chunky peanut butter is simply delicious.

Argh. its gonna be a hectic week too. Im already behind in class and im frantically trying to catch up. Can. CAN DO!

Must stay positive...and i must say, after that run yesterday, i feel that i can focus better.
So exercise IS good for your mental health too :)

Keep me away from chocolates!

Advertisement for a friend

Alright to all you people who simply love watching dance performances or who have never been to one or who simply have nothing to do over the weekend!

Do come down for Dance Reflection at NUS UCC (university cultural centre), on the 16th or 17th Sept, 7.30 pm. Tix are sold at $10,12 or 15 each. I reckon you can get you tix from Cheryl Lee...or you can tell me then i'll relay it to her..otherwise, you could also try SISTIC.

Acc to cheryl, DR is a collaboration of 6 dance groups-chinese dance, dance blast, dance synergy, ilsa tari and indian dance. Yup.

So come if you want :)


PS: cheryl, am i gonna get paid for this online ad? hahha :)

Thoughts..insecurities..

Am i really ready? Am i doing things right? Am i doing my part?

How do i make sure my relationship last? Have i been doing the right thing? Am i a gd gf? Ive asked friends for advice and in sum, they've told me to

1) Give him space
2) compromise, give and take
3) be patient
4) communicate
5) be understanding
6) not think of the end cos if you keep thinking it, it will come
7) relish every moment

Dont get me wrong, things are going on splendidly.Ive asked him about it and he keeps saying how he's never been more happy and bla bla bla but im beginning to wonder if he can tolerate my crap in the long run. Quite frankly, i dont think ive been fulfilling the above. I mean, i feel sometimes that i take too much....but i cant help it. How do i give? How?? I want to but i dont know how. Or am i already doing it? He hasnt been giving me any negative feedback..so is that good? Am i thinking too much? I so do not wanna screw this up...

My friend sums it up the best....

He said that certain times we hope a lot for something but dont receive it in a way we want it to be, then we get disappointed and take things out at each other.shit happens...
but at the end of the day...must communicate,talk and be transparent abt each other's feelings....

Oh dear lord. How? I concede, i am like that! I cant help it...ive been like that since young! Even my mom said so. She said that whenever she takes me out and when i see something i like and want, i would kick up a fuss if i dont get it. The thing is, i dont kick up a fuss (ie cry) but i think im an emotional bully. I hang my head down in shame. Its true. I think i am. I am a self centred person!

I have no idea why im typing all this at 1.30 in the morning.

No, im not insomniac. Am concurrently chatting with Winston, farhana and nadeem..mini sec 4A gathering! :)

Friday!! At long last!

Amazingly, I managed to pluck up enough courage to submit my stats hmk. Cant believe i've been fretting over it for days when its only homework. Fine, homework that will cost me 5 marks out of my total marks for exams. Whatever. Its done. I think i did my best. Thank you Justina for submitting it for me today cos its my FREE day! Wheee~ Weekends are here at last!!

Met up with Adeline, Jeannie, Xiaowen, Nirwan and later Melinda on Wednesday. Had a yummy dinner but i had to leave early cos i had datelines. Bah. I miss 02a53 sooooooo much. In fact, if you guys are reading this, I've already asked Ms goh if she's available next week to meet up before ade leaves. She said she'll try her best so yea. It would be great if we could get the whole class down or something...How's next Wed? 7th Sept? or even sat 10th sept? I guess it all depends on when ade is free right? I havent met up with amy, ave, joyce, alina and susian and angela and vemalan and chris and kit and norman and ian and huiboon(where is huiboon anyway?) for a long time leh..I miss all of you!

Oh yeah, I went for an interview to be a journalist for one of the NUS publication and I got in. It's called The Ridge and Im gonna be writing for the Lifestyle section. Why did i decide to join in? Cos ive never really been behind the scenes of any publication..so im hoping this would be an eye opening experience..exposure to journalism perhaps? I just hope I dont suck at it. Haha.

I am so so so so so proud of my darling. He's had a great week! And the thing is, he's been so humble about it and all..i guess i'll be the one who has to blow the trumpet for him! What? Im just so so so proud of him!! He got gold for his IPPT right? Then he came in 2nd in his entire company (or is it platoon? whats e diff) for the obstacle course thingy...then his platoon (or company..again, whats the diff) got 3rd place for some drill competition....and he's one of 4 recruits nominated for some award to be given out to the best recruit or smt like that! :) I hope he wins. hehe..

Oh yeah, he's booking out early tmr (8am), passing out on tues and then he'll be free for the next 2 weeks or so till he gets his posting! :) :) :)