I awoke yesterday morning, overwhelmed with a sense of uncertainty as to whether the night before truly transpired-or if it was just a dream. But it only took a few seconds before reality set in. He's left. My heart immediately felt like it was shredded to bits. All the preparations werent enough to get me by. I teared at almost every reminder of him.

So I sent Najib off to the airport on mon night. Luckily cheryl accompanied me. Otherwise it would have been plain awkward. His family is extremely huge. I admit, I felt a bit envious because my relatives arent like that. Najib is truly loved by his family and friends. I figure that if I left, few people except my nuclear family and 4-5 friends would even bother coming. So jealous. Anyway, so he said his goodbyes to crying relatives (again, you must be there to witness the love) and waved to me. Relatives were there, you see. As his family gathered at the gate to wave him off, I immediately proceeded to the upper level of t3 where Najib and I had planned to wave to each other. I didnt think he'd remember the plan. But he did. Cheryl spotted him and beckoned me over and just as I did, he called me. And that was when I crumbled. I couldnt utter a word. Choked. I couldnt say goodbye. And when I tried to say the 3 simple words to him, the waterpipes burst and I was a mess. And then he was gone.

I drowned my sorrows with cheryl (who was visibly distraught for her own reasons) with tau huay. Tau huay is my new comfort food. Then we parted at tanah merah mrt. Left alone, I have no idea why my mind kept wandering to the times Najib sent me home and my tearducts went into overdrive. I called up several people. I just needed to talk to someone. At last, Karina picked up and she was kind enough to talk to me on my way back, all the way till I stepped home. And later yunxian, sweet soul that she is, offered words so kind that I swear Im truly blessed to have her as a friend. She even checked up on me yest afternoon. Such love I desperately needed to feel.

Back home, my family was nicer to me. I think they all miss him too. My mom cried when I relayed what happened at the airport.

But enough of tears. Though it will never be the same without his physical presence, as yunxian puts it, 'there's always sms, webcam, msn, skype,". Indeed! He constantly sms-ed me and called me albeit for 2 mins last night. But today! Oh, I got to see my baby today! :) Thank goodness for the logitech webcam. He's settled in and his room is huge compared to the ones on campus. Just reminds me how land scarce we are.

Everything's going to be alright. Insha-Allah :)

Aside: im super annoyed at a particular gov agency. They are so inefficient and theyve messed up my application. Sheesh. At least the other 2 places I applied to bother getting back to me within a week or two. This one? Haiyo. No wonder people warned me against applying there.

END POST~8.03pm