Mellow

Something is physically wrong with me.
My legs are stiff and heavier than usual while my head is light. I seem to somehow sway to the left when i stand up and if I lie down and close my eyes, I feel like I'm being sucked into a whirpool.

I am procrastinating.
I dont feel like starting on my term paper anytime soon but I know I must. I want to enjoy writing it up. I mean contrary to what others may feel, I enjoy the researching bit. The sense of purpose while listening to music I havent heard in ages and just bobbing my head is great but when it comes to actually consolidating everything you've found and churning out a comprehensive and sensible paper is the hardest bit. The adrenalin knowing that Im almost done gets me too excited that I just cant sit still to think.

I'm also feeling torn.
Two of my friends are celebrating their birthday in tomorrow. One of them's flying off soon and her birthday's in Oct while the other one has hers next week but both are having it tomorrow.
Question is, how does farah fly from clementi to pasir ris then to bugis (presumably) then head back to tamp all in 5 hours? Heck, I'll make it for both. These two girls are my friends and I want to be present at their 21st birthday celebration.

Tomorrow would also be our 15th month together. I know its silly but since we dont hang out much, making the effort to 'celebrate' each month is something that we share. The best thing about this relationship, however, is that we're flexible. (or rather, he is more than I am and should be) I mean, we both know that we have our own lives and circle of friends. So thank you for everything and for all the support you've given me in anything that I do. Even the littlest things you do for me means so much to me. And you've given me a lot.

Anyway, Im proud of myself for mustering enough gut yesterday as I went up to a certain lecturer. I am anticipating (and praying for) a favourable outcome :)

Also, a conversation I had a few days ago with a friend has been ringing in my head. I may have unintensionally arrived at a response without much thought. He asked if I were given a chance to work with a bunch of people for a project, would I join the people who have gotten 'A's or would I prefer to work with others (ie im assuming non A students)?

I immedietly responded that I would join the A group people. I now regret my answer and my reason.
I had mentioned that working with those A graders would give me the sense of security that these people are not slackers which I based on the assumption that grades are reflective of a person's interest and dedication to his/her work.

I now retract what I say because I realise and know that my reason is flawed.
Experience has showed me that grades are fluctuate. And I was wrong. I have worked my butt off for something before and was extremely passionate about it but I didnt score as well as others. To think that someone else would not want me in their group because of that bad grade and hence on that ill-conceived premise (which i had regrettably made) riles me. Besides, I do know of people who are not hardworking or as interested in work but who nonetheless managed to get As.

So my point is that if I have to choose groupmates, I would rather work with amicable people with positive work attitude. It doesnt matter what their previous grades may be. If I can work with people who share similar interests and working styles, Ill work with them for sure.

I guess we've been raised to think that grades (and therefore achievement) maketh the person. While it may be true to some, it could also be untrue. The relative in this matter, is the person, the key which is oft overlooked.

So having thought through the question, I humbly regret and am deeply ashamed at my rash answer previously.

How about you? Whoever is reading my blog? Given a situation where you must choose between amicable A graders and amicable others with whom you've worked with both groups of people before which would you choose?