A letter...

Dear Health Psych,

Today is Tuesday and I have 2 days before I confront you. I am not afraid of you. On the contrary, you should be afraid of me. I shall disect you, tear you apart and put you back together. And repeat the cycle untill I am done with you.

You will try to trick me, with your ambiguosly formed sentences and fool me by giving me numerous choices which are close to one another but hear me, Health Psych, I WILL NOT FALL PREY.

Till Thursday, my ill-fated foe.

Till Thursday.

I shall be prepared.

The question is, will you be prepared for me?

Yours,

far

Saturday

Managed to negotiate my tuition fees to a respectable amount. Cannot wait till my pay day next week. Im going broke. Been spending too much.

TV's on now. Keanu Reeves looks fatter than expected with his shirt off. Boo.

And contrary to the movie reviews in ST, Pink Panther is actually quite nice. Maybe its the relief from the stress. But i laughed so hard at Inspector Clueso (how do you spell it) :)

Lesson learnt from this week: Start on projects/papers earlier.

What break?

Its been one of the most rushed and stressful week so far this sem. For those who know, you'd know the reason.

A very special shout out of thanks to Cheryl Nott and Chris and Nudgie, my darling for the support you gave me. I wouldnt have been able to finish my 2000 essay in 24 hours had it not been for you guys. And Adeline as well...thanks babe. You were sorta my inspiration. Telling me that you managed to write 3000 words in 2 days really gave me a sense of hope right when i needed it.Gosh, i love you people. And of course, Farhana for helping me out with my surprise for Nudgie on Wednesday when all my plans got messed up. Ahh, Nudgie.....cant believe after coming back from Brunei, you came to my rescue, researching and proof reading and coming to my house to deliver anti-stress goodie bag..And ooh, cheryl lee, my life saver for handing my PR essay for me so i wouldnt have to go to school today.....:)

And to all those who couldnt muster anything but give me a bewildered look and calling me crazy (even implicitly, i can tell) when you heard I had very little time to finish my term paper....GRRRRR. GRRRRR. GRRRRRR.

I DID IT.

Even if, admittedly, it isnt very good, at least i did it. I pushed on. Phew. I need a recharge.

Alamak

ARgjksdaljdrewsmnsGARGHuawsenxewmPOUTjkewrxBOOjskangrgyw

I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.
I SHOULD have started my developmental term paper earlier.

I have 3 days to finish a 2000 words term paper. And I am still second questioning myself as to whether the topic im doing is feasible. More importantly, i cannot seem to find a matching international research. Darn you papers. COME OUT wherever you are! Published in 1947. Where on earth am i gonna find that? The library only has collection from 70s lah. In the journal section. Ive actually gone thru child development journals dating from 1999 to 2005. I have yet to go thru 1985-1998. Thats like another 13 years. The info is out there. I want it. Please come to me. Soon.

PS: Welcome home, darling :)
(not that i can see you because *mutter mutter* I have a term paper *mutter mutter* so i cant *mutter mutter*. GROWL)

The Broken Road. Nice. :)

I set out on the narrow way
Many years ago,
Hoping i would find true love
Along the broken road.
I got lost a time or two,
Wiped my brow, kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you.

Every long-lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were just northern stars,
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms.
This much i know is true
That god blessed the broken road that led me straight to you

I think about the years i spent
I'd like to find the time i lost and give it back to you.
You just smile and take my hand; you've been there, you understand,
It's all part of a greater plan that is coming true.

Every longlost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were just falling stars,
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms.
This much i know is true
That god blessed the broken road that led me straight to you

Term Break!

WOHOO!

I must remind myself that this isnt a break break. Its a mug-all-you-can-and-do-the-term-papers-properly-and-quickly-so-you-wont-be-stressed-when-school-reopens-so-ARGH-period.

Developmental psych paper and pr reaction paper due on friday. Then, health psych mid-terms on thurs. GARGH.

Had a major crisis yesterday...i think for those whom i talked abt it with would know. Too lazy to type it all out. In sum, i was having doubts as to whether psych is my calling. Its gonna be an incredibly long journey that only the toughest would survive. Will i burn out and crash out of the race by then? Will i get jaded? The theres pr. Then i concluded that i could always take another degree or study more if i find myself dissatisfied when i suddenly realised that hey, studying would require MONEY. Then thought abt the school fees.

SO, anyway, a shitty trip home on the mrt after Ridge's AGM, (amazing how i think abt the future a lot while on the train), i had dinner with my amazing friend Winston...who help me sought everything out. :) Well, you really really untangled the freaking knots in my head, dude. After that, we went on a joyride in Briony's new car...She just passed her driving test. :) Pasir Ris park at night. Gorgeous. Stars, moon, music...breeze :)

Also, thanks yunxian for making me feel better too.

Oohh, and kenneth!! Havent seen you for so long so even though we chatted for less than 10mins, it was really nice! :)

3 more days before i get my nudgie.

THEN AGAIN, THAT WOULD MEAN MY DATELINES ARE NEARING TOO!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHH.

All i want for my 21st

Well, I went to yet another birthday party last night.
Manju's 21st. It was a surprise party although I heard she wasnt surprised.
Still, something stuck with me after last night. I want a party.
And i want all my friends to be there.
Yeah, I realize that it'd be really really nice to have a birthday party...to finally have all your friends in one place, just for me.

But I realize that this will never happen simply because everyones too busy. 25th march is like one month before exams and im pretty sure that’s when deadlines are.

Still, if there is a someone, who is able to organize a party, in which all my friends will be invited to. This someone, or team, will plan everything…and surprise me...then, heh, I would be the happiest person. Hah.

In any case, let me just indulge myself in a fantasy.
If I were to have a humongous party, I’d want all these people there…even tho I may not be close to some of these ppl, it’d still be nice to have them ard….im sure in some way, they’ve made me who I am today. And ooh, these names are the ones that came from the top of my head so apologies, if i forgot someone.

Dunman
Winston
Briony
Farhana
Sabrina
Yuan Man
Widya
Manju
Layhong
The entire NCO girls hafiza,Noreen,etc and boys squad, NPCC. Esp firdaus,jiawei,terence,etc etc
Gracia
Izhar
Leepei
Yunzi
Raj
Kartini
Shikin
Nisha Issacs
Jihan
Aisyah
Armar
Kassim
Rauf
Omar
Nadeem
Luqman
Prashant
Whoever else from 1E, 2-4A whod like to come

JC
The entire 02a53
Adeline,Ave,Amy,Alina,Cheryl,Mel,jeannie,huiboon,
susian,joyce,steph,
Norman,ian,nirwan,chris yeo,vemalan,xiaowen,Joanne,kit,angela
Nabilah
Afidah
Uni
Pearl (from violin)
02MCS

IRAS
Yunxian
Pema
Shareena
Lynn
Jinhong
Huimin
Brenda

NUS
SWAPS 18th exco:
Gene, zhisheng,jean,Eugene,xiaoyan,chinyong,shaun o,
Shaun G, Kim, charmaine, giang, julaina,justina,linyen,Joanna,
Karina
Chris ong
Cheryl Nott
Genevieve
Katherine
Kenneth
Liangcai
Wantsin
Wani
Anah

Teachers
Mdm Suharni
Mrs Neo (yes, e principal. Why not. Fantasy party)
Ms Goh!!
Mrs Ng (lau kao. Hahhahah.)

Family (Although, I would prefer a seperate, small scall thingy with my family)
Mom, dad, brother, brother, sister, nenek.

Najib.

That’s like 95 people. Heh, good luck, mysterious surprise birthday planner. Haha.

I think I'll have to wait till my wedding day.

Drama-kemama

My gosh. Student activism in NUS? GASP.

Silent protest by wearing black on thurs? (darn it, i was already planning to wear black tmr..even before this brouhaha.)
A mass university scale sit out?
Personal attacks to the president of the SU?

All this because people are unhappy with the increase in school fees and with the current NUS Student union?

My my my my my.

Cant fight the power, people. Face it. Thats what happened to SWAPS VS DEPT. Thats whats gonna happen to NUSSU VS UNI and know what? The entire student population making noise reminds me of certain people in a certain year of a certain major who made noise during swaps agm but didnt do nothing when they could have. Oh puhlease.

Politics is a sticky tricky thing if you ask me.

Balik kampung lah. All of you. Just go study can? Make use of central library. Make use of the electricity in the classroom. Make use of anything you want and can in school to appease your unhappiness. Get your degree and get the heck out.

Still, it is brilliant fun to read the numerous disgruntled posts!

Wantlist ver 1.0

In no particular order of preference....

- Brown jacket
- Earring holder (cos i have too many earrings sprawling all over my cupboard)
- A surprise birthday party (hur hur)
- Bag
- Shoes
- Massage. Better still, an OSIM chair
- Roller blades, with wrist and knee guards
- A more functioning and thinking brain who can get me a CAP of 5.0
- A treat at the hair saloon, which includes a haircut and dye (cos my darn whites
are showing already)
- Jeannie's black dress
- Shades
- Tops. Need more tops.
- Jeans
- A personal trainer who'd help me lose weight before i turn 21.
- A car I can drive to school in
- A printer

Thats what ive come up with so far...hey, can someone teach me how to strike a word out? Like ___________ but across the word?? Need to do that so i wont get 2 of the same things. Anyhoo, this is only a draft. The final one would be up on 25th Feb so thats one month to make necessary arrangements. :)

PS: My dad thinks im shameless and despicable for demanding things. Look at it this way. Im helping you so you wouldnt have to think "What shall i give farah" in the event youre thinkng of giving me something, of course.

Husky

I am losing my voice!!!!!! I dont even know why.

Anyway, thank you so much jeannie for having me over yesterday. You looked SO pretty!!!!!! I want your dress!!! Heh, is it free size? Gosh, i love the whole outfit. The hair was so 50s..and the dress.....argh...i want the dress!!!
Check out Ave's blog for pics :)

So got home late last night only to discover that I had a paper due the next morning. Thankfully, i drafted something up on tuesday..so phew...just needed to tweek here and there.

Got to speak to nudgie last night too. His mom is gonna kill him when e bill arrives.

Hmm. Something about sleep deprivation and language ability. I realise that when i lack sleep, i dont make sense. Thoughts are disjointed. I forget what i would like to say to people. I cant remember things.

And i become a shoperholic.

I bought 5 pair of earring and a flip flop.

(grin)

The Lone Ranger

Sometime back, I published a post, admitting how much I am afraid of loneliness. To wake up one day and realise that I have no one, besides family, to spend time with and to do fun stuff with. Even earlier than that post, was a one wherein I questioned whether certain connection I feel with people only relates to the domain of studies, after which, zilch.

And so with the effects of the 3-day week (with minimal breaks) coming into play, I begin to notice how my previous posts carried with them certain elements of truth. Im losing touch with people. And i cant help but feel that they too, have forgotten about me. With the exception of one person, I hardly share modules with my other friends. I try to have lunch with another yet we both find it difficult to meet up. I try to blend once again every fri for lunch w another grp but for the past few times, i did, i felt left out.

Gosh, i sound like im wallowing in self-pity eh? Haha. Yeah, i suppose having free time at home does make you think abt things a lot. Doesnt help that Farhana's busy with school, najib's overseas and Winston's well, busy i suppose. Everyone's busy. I should be too. Maybe at least then, i can keep myself from wandering into insecure thoughts. Heh, i was showering when i tried to imagine who would actually turn up for my 21st birthday party. Im not gonna have one, by the way. Bad timing. Everyone, including me, will have term papers due and all. Too much hype about the 21st. In fact, im not expecting anything from anyone except close friends (u better) and family. But heh, just for kicks, i will still come up with a birthday wishlist.

Ok lah, should not sound so pessimistic lah. I know you guys are busy. But that doesnt mean you wont be there right? Besides, I know of a friend who seldom talks to me but when we do chat, it can last for hours! Right, Kat? :)

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think i need a shot of happy hormones and stop whining!

Going for a swim tmr...cant wait :)

Comics

Sometimes, you shouldnt hide under the banner of 'freedom of speech' when you know that half the world's gonna be a mess because of what you say, drew or did. With 'freedom of speech' comes responsibility, you know.

Im so glad I live in this country. At least we're not as hot-headed nor insensitive enough to cause an international uproar. I agree with the gov. We must NEVER ever take racial/religious harmony for granted. It only takes a spark, to set the fire going.

Peace. I really do want world peace. I mean seriously. And greater understanding.

N

Tonight was super.

Thank you so much, for everything.

I love you.

:)

RING!!!!

AHDUIIIII!!!!!!!!

Shut up already! In the central lib now using the pc to print stuff out. And the stupid firebell is ringing. Amazingly, the ppl ard me have like this in-built mechanism to shut the noise out.

WAH. Thank God, its stopped. Haha, if there was really a real fire, i think we might actually die here, glued to the pcs. After all, now theres a one hour limit before the pc automatically shuts down. Fantastic policy if you ask me! :)

Just finished zapping health psych readings. Met Huijun in the lib and i saw her zapping dev readings. GARGH. More stuff to print.

I think i need to invest in a new printer at home, which doesnt require me flip the pages manually in the event i want to print double sided.

Right. Next lesson's at 4pm. I better make use of my time wisely.

Sw1101E

Groan.
I admit, one of the reasons Im taking SW is because I would very much like to score and pull my cap up. Another reason is that with the intro mod, i am able to take other sw modules which requires it as a pre-req. However, those who know me would know which one im more concern with.

So anyway, lectures have been absolutely boring. "Bored to tears" as a tutorial mate of mine mentioned earlier today. And the readings. OH MY GOSH the readings. But hey, wantsin and cheryl got thru the mod without doing the readings right? :/

Tutorial today was dratful. I was compelled to join several people for the tutorial discussion. The most horrifying group ever. It was like trying to squeeze blood from a rock, trying to get them to air their views. There were 5 of us. Lets call them Tomboy, Princess, Mouse and Kiddo and me. Kiddo was ok. At least he made an attempt. Tomboy and princess were so sulky as tho they were forced to join the module because they committed petty theft or the like and was sent down to be punished. Mouse was well, mousey. ARGH.

Thank goodness discussion groups are not fixed. Im so not gonna sit near them again. I quickly made friends with more farah friendly people after tutorial :)

Tmr's PR lect AND dev psych lect is cancelled. Gonna go to school for a 10-11am make-up health tut and sw lect (God, help me) from 4-6pm.

Then HOME. Then tuition the next day (woohooo...after a long hiatus, i cannot wait to have cash inflow)then....Im not too sure what.

But one thing is for sure.

I need to start studying and keep up with my readings.

PS: Jeannie and I signed up for Salsa lessons :) Haha. I know.

Neoprints?!

I feel sick. I cant believe my nudgie and I succumbed to the neo-print madness albeit 5/6 years late. The boyfriend had never taken a neoprint before so as much as I had always been against it, what the heck, might as well.

My gosh, i felt so embarrased to enter the ultra pink shop (yes, my blog is pink but this is different) at century square. Surrounded by secondary school kids. EEK. Then, we went into the machine and everything happened so bleeping fast! It didnt help that the instructions were in japanese and we were like "HUH?? POSE, SMILE LAUGH" in that order. It was admittedly fun and i suppose the "adrenalin" possessed us to take ANOTHER one at tamp mall. At least the one there was in english.

But you know what? We both felt superbly dizzy and felt like hurling after looking at the photos again and again, shaking our heads in disbelief. As in, at first, there were kinda nice but the more we looked at them, the more we felt so jelak of it..it was so....so....."kawaii". YUCK.

So we've both resolved not to look at them more than once a month. Haha. We even thought of throwing them away. But no, must not waste money. Besides, quite memorable...the stupid things we do together! Haha.

Anyway, he accompanied me at the lib as i mugged and he finished his assignment. Apparently, ocs gives them reports to do and stuff. So yeah, i can actually STUDY with him around. :)

Yesterday was nice too..went to ave's place for CNY. Must credit her parents and )ave too :)) for their hospitality. I really really felt overwhelmed that they made accomodations for me.

Nudgie met Jeannie yesterday. He remarked that all my friends are bubbly. Really ah? I mean he's met Cheryl, justina, yunxian, winston, briony, farhana and several others...hey, yeah, i am noticing a pattern! Most of my friends are really jovial people! :)

Happy New Year

Today is also the Islamic new year which I suspect not very many people actually notice. It incidentally coincides with the lunar new year because of reasons to do with the way the lunar calendar, islamic calendar and gregorian calendar are as so. Basically, I read about it somewhere about the way each calendar functions but truth be told, i wasnt really interested in that article very much.

And so, I am here today. Just came back from my nenek's place. She arrived in singapore yesterday after her Haj pilgrimage. She told us stories about how unorderly people from other countries are as opposed to their asian counterparts. It all boils down to the fact that when people from many different cultures congregate, many fascinating and simultaneously frightening experiences can be expected. Yet, my aunt told us, that it is also the most beautiful thing of all. To witness people from all parts of the world, with different languages, cultures, experiences, socio-economic nuances coming together for Allah :)

Shop N Run

Went shopping with my darling yest :) He bought me an Esprit wallet and a pair of nice shoes!! I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEE my darling so much!

Then, we went for a nice slow jog till the end of pasir ris park...and i got my well-deserved foot massage. hehe.

Oh ya, yesterday was so peaceful. As in even in town,peak hour mind you, there were so few people (relatively speaking) and on our way home, the mrt and the interchange were nice and quiet. Ahh...if only everyday was like this.

Oh yes, Gong Xi Fa Cai!

FATigue

I walked out of Social work lect yest. I couldnt take it. The guy kept going on and on and on and did not even offer the class a lect break. EVIL. A friday evening lecture some more. So i left at and returned a while later only to discover, as soon as mu butt touched the Lt seat, that class was adjourned. So thats why he didnt give a break. Ah well. I think the lecture is webcasted.

Speaking of webcasts.I ought to remind myself to watch dev psych lect again. Elliot was mumbling and speaking too fast sometimes.

Speaking up. I spoke up in a lecture for the first time. I actually raised my hand to ask my PR lecturer something. Heh, ive always wondered why students (particularly in health psych) do that. And yes, i was one of those people who shoot them dirty looks and yesterday, i was at the receiving end. But now that im one of them, i realise that its not like theyre boasting or being "action-aje menyampah" they actually do earnestly want to contribute to the discussion. I mean, isnt that what students should do? Or is it just in singapore where you stick up like a sore, unlikable thumb, if you speak up? So sad.

Anyway, i was thoroughly spent by the end of the day. I wanted to cry thinking of the journey back home. I guess the pile of social work notes handed to me by ting ting (oh so kind to zap them for me in the first place) kinda added to my already bleah state of mind. THEN, farhana made me travel to science to get her sports medicine book. ARGH. The things you do for friends. So i walked all the way to science co-op after dumping my bag at munchie monkey with yx, justina, ting ting and this dude kyle.

Sat at munchies till 9 plus and finally treated justina and yunxian to their long overdue bdae treat. Must cover that before my birthday lah. :) Amazing how a bunch of people can just sit there, and do nothing. Also, i realise that ive developed an incredible tolerance for people conversing in a different language when around me. I mean if it makes them happy so be it. I shouldnt make noise. I am but one person who should be grateful to have them ard. Either that, or i was just too damn shacked to notice. But seriously, my tolerance has increased ever since i came to NUS. haha.

Then at 9 plus, nudgie FINALLY managed to find Yusof ishak house and we went off. We walked all the way back to arts :) NUS is really nice at night. And we hailed a cab home...and the cab driver adamantly believed he was younger than me. "you call me uncle? Haha, i think i younger than you"

Darn you. GRRRRRR. unless of course you are younger than me lah. But still. BOOO.

PS: im fat. FAT!

PPS: I love CNY!!! wohoo! Long break! :)

:)

Lovely evening, it was. I finished school at 4pm, headed down to the co-op to finally purchase my Health psych book. After perusing the two books, i finally settled on buying Sarrafino's book instead of Ogden. The latter, no doubt is more encompassing and detailed but I bought sarrafino instead because 1) its hardcover, 2) its cheaper 3) most importantly, its better organised.

But no, im not that big a geek to classify my evening as lovely simply because i bought myself a new book. No no no.

I met up with my nudgie!!! Spontaneous date as he had a "night out". So i went to the esplande library and read the first chap of health psych (ah, i am a mugging nerd and im not ashamed of it at all)while waiting for him. He called me around 7 plus but even before i could answer, he hung up. Naturally, i looked around as he tends to hang up once he sees me. So i scanned the lib for him but couldnt find him. Decided to continue reading my book while calling him when suddenly, i felt something brushing against my cheek...

A rose. A big red rose. :) And there he was, dressed in his 'penguin' outfit, looking all charming....we went for dinner at the same place 5/3 went the last time... :) Perfect :)

Oh ya, can you believe, that my nudgie almost became a tv star? Remember the show moulmein high? The lousy drama on a local channel? Hahah. Apparently, he went for the casting after someone came up to him and asked him if he was interested. I dont really know how the conversation came up. Haha, but at least i learnt something new about him....he cant act for nuts! :) And im glad he didnt get the role. Else i wouldnt have him in my life.

Ahh. :)