Essay

Film N history essay.....is HISTORY!

Im done! Clap hands! Wohoo! Yay!

Post no 195

Yup, so it is.

My darling's reading my blog as i type this. I actually dont think he needs to considering i constantly update him about my life!

Anyway, he's on his Hari raya break which starts today and lasts for 5 whole days :) Might see him on monday night. Yay.

As for my film n history, well, i encountered a mental block. Utter frustration as ive only managed to squeeze 430 words thus far. But i will press on....not that i have a choice but i will be darned if i dont finish at least half of it by tonight.

And i heard that my article's out...cant wait to have a look at it! :)

And ive finally factored in a time to go shopping with my mom at geylang serai! The day before hari raya! Wed! Cos i only have a lect from 8-10am...plus, i would have finished my stats report so nothing else due anytime soon. :)

Yups!

Okie, back to work.

Papers Schemapers

First and foremost, THANK YOU JUSTINA for submitting my film and hist project.

My goodness. I think this has gotta be one of the worst and ill-thought papers ive ever written. It probably doesnt make sense after the introduction paragraph. Think its too example driven. Too narrative. Blah. I had no choice. I mean it was hard defining what "doing the right thing" is! And i dont know why i lacked the inspiration to write it. Perhaps cos there's so many things to say and yet nothing to say and i had to rush against the clock cos i was oh-so-smart to sleep and think that ample sleep would make me have a fresh perspectives on thing. NYAH.

Thanks justina for submitting it....so i had at least 45 mins more to think about it..and edit and stuff.

Alright, just one MAJOR essay due on monday at 4pm and another project due in 2 weeks time and i'll be done with Film and History.

Monday's french test is listening comprehension (for which im in big trouble. need to dig ears) and written comprehension (for which im also in big trouble cos i usually need a dictionary). But essentially, i cant study for it cos its not grammar...

Which means, i have the entire day plus weekend to write my Film essay. I wanna make it a good one! :)

Oh dear, i havent set aside a day/time to shop for my hari raya clothes. Ah well, worse case scenario, i'll just wear what i wore last year. Like who'd remember? Seriously?

Where's my abnormal psych results? Tsk tsk.

Kick me!

Someone, kick my procrastinating posterior!!

I have a film essay to do and im supposed to be done by monday but then i have a french test on monday. Gargh. So i have till sat to do my essay. Sat? ARGH! SATURDAY!!!!

Ps: I realised that i havent said happy birthday to some of my friends. Happy belated birthday to Adeline and Karina. Happy Birthday in advance to Yun xian and Xiaoyan.

Am i missing anyone else? :)

One month from today, I will be free~ My last exam will be today..in one months' time! Yippee!

Dyslexic in statistics

Borrowed my title from cheryl's nick..

Im still up all because of stats!!!!! Who ever said that SPSS was idiot proof? Grr...

To think that stats presentation is only 15% out of 25 marks...which is (drum rolls) 3.75 marks!

Why am i up again?

Been too lazy to blog...

Title says it all.

True...its like everytime i wanted to type, i couldnt be bothered. Haha. Except today, cos its my free day and im feeling extremely happy.

I guess my happy streak started on wednesday when i got back my stats. Alhamdulillah! Yay!! I did well :) And im glad i did...cos well, the day before my grandma passed away, i told my mom that i'd visit her after my stats test...but well, she passed away before i could and i took my test on a later date...and i did well...somehow, that makes me feel a little better...i cant really explain it...

So anyway, after having a chat with najib, i realise that i shouldnt be so competitive...he reminded me that i should try to beat my personal best (CAP) and not worry abt others. Yeah, he's right...i feel better now.

And after receiving my french test 2 results, ive given up on my quest to get an A..when you have ppl in class getting 37/40, you dont stand a chance. Not that ive given up doing my best of course! I'll do my best, but if i dont get an A, i wont be bummed. Gotta be realistic.

Maybe thats why i feel happier...less stress i suppose? And the fact that i finally submitted my essay for SS after letting my tutor know my worries abt being penalised for writing a boring topic..he assured me he'll read mine first and he wont hold my topic choice against me.

Next up, my film and history. Watched Godfather that day...nice! Wonder which movie to write about....

(Stretch)Its my free day today.
Gonna make sure my weekend will be productive...
Got stats proj grp meeting tmr...presentation's on monday...and report's due the subsequent week....

And then its HARI RAYA! yay. :P

And ooh, i might get to see him tmr night for ice cream! :)

Dark day

Listening to "It must have been love" by Roxette. I remember the first time i heard it. I must have been in primary 3 or 4. The soundtrack of Pretty Woman starring Julia Roberts.
Nice.

Anyway, today was kinda...bleaugh.

Had abnormal test this morn. Studied really hard for it. I mean i covered every single chapter and some chaps ive read twice. 40% MCQ. I pray i do well...but i realise that i made a few blunders already. Why do i keep changing my answers? Gosh, i hope i do well...i really love abnormal psychology. I mean, ive finally found my calling. I wanna be a psychotherapist. This is THE field i wanna delve into. I know this sounds cliche, but i wanna help people. I really do. And abnormal has revived my love for psychology....please dont take this away from me....It sounds silly right? To have my passion be determined by grades...but its true...if i dont do well for this module, then i'll doubt if this is IT. I dont know....I guess theres nothing much i can do about the 40%.....if its meant to be, it is i suppose....

Then had SS tutorial. Why did i have to do a very very dry topic? About identity? Grr. I actually found my topic interesting but realised that youth subculture is a much more exciting and DARN EASY topic to do. Darn it. Everyone who does on youth subculture's gonna do darn well lah. What am i going to do? Ive finished about 80% of my paper....im just left with editing and tweeking here and there. Its due on sat but i have to finish it by tonight...or else i'll be pushing my other modules further...

Need to prioritise. Thats it. Im gonna submit it tmr.

Then im gonna start on film.
Then stats.
Then french.

Will it ever end?
yeah. NOV 25.

PS: Might be signing up for trekking in dec with NUS rovers...asked Tini and my dunman friends along...hope it works out.

Phew

Time flies. Its can you believe it 15 Oct already?

Whoa.

Completed that darn SS paper yesterday. Yes, i spent almost the whole Sat morn and afternoon putting my thoughts into that essay. Although, i feel its only 90% complete. Im going to incubate it. You know, return to it in a few days time with a fresher perspective. Realise that if on Tuesday, i read it and it doesnt make sense, at least i can edit it.

Started on my abnormal psych as well. Problem is, i cant really remember what ive read. Sigh. And chaps 1 and 2 and 17 are so incredibly boring. Think im gonna leave them till i finish the rest. Thank goodness on the whole, abnormal psych's interesting. I dont mind reading it at all! :)
This is what studying should be all about! Interest and fun. :)

Test's on tuesday. In fact, i think i have 2 tests on Tuesday. Abnormal and SS (tho the tutor didnt say so but i suspect our 10% tutorial participation would be translated to the marks he gives us for our upcoming mini write up.)

Also, im thinking of skipping the film shown tmr so that i can go home earlier and study for psych. Yeah, think i'll do that. I mean its The Godfather. Ive watched that already...So, i'll just go for lect and leave before the film...i can always watch it on wed during my break :)

Alright, i seem to be in an optimistic mood. Thats good! At least, in a happy disposition, my mind would be more receptive to what i read. :)

Whirl, twirl, swirl....whoa.

Its 9.40am on a friday. I would have been done with my SS term paper. In fact I should have finished it by Wed, as i kept insisting and telling everyone. But ive come to realise that i can be all take and no action.

Take yesterday for instance. I told myself that i would not sleep until i finished my term paper so that i'll be able to focus on abnormal psych. Instead, i felt zilch motivation to do it and considering i was already half way to Z land (thanks to my sis who was sleeping right in front from where i was), i decided to read a chapter on suicide. At least that seemed more interesting. Not that im suicidal. Its a topic for my test.

So anyway, i woke up early this morning thinking, sheesh, lets get SS out of the way. Get cracking! Instead, i found myself reading blogs of friends from past and present.
Its kinda good once in a while to just get/read updates abt your friends.

So anyway, im gonna promise to get started after i finish posting this entry. I have to lah. I must. Cant keep pushing it back just cos dateline was pushed. Come on, farah....

On a more personal note, i miss my Najib. I havent seen him Oct 1st. And that was merely for a late night movie in his attempt to cheer me up after my grandma's death. In any case, we realise the impossibility of meeting till after hari raya. Or well, maybe after my exams. Simply put, for the entire fasting month, we both have to dine with our respective families during the weekend. After breaking fast, he'd usually go for terawih, special prayers held at night. And that might end pretty late. I wouldnt want him to skip prayers for me. Its good that he goes :) So that leaves sunday, which is family day for both of us and of course, the day he books in.

Then when hari raya arrives, his weekends would be filled by his family. I mean, most likely they'll be visiting relatives and all. As for me, Nov is mug month. All the way till the 25 of NOV, i shall not be able to see him.

Well, thank God for handphones. At least we still communicate. (altho yest he dropped his hp in the sink and his hp was not working for a while) He still calls me when we're not tired...actually, even if he's tired, he'll call me. He's so sweet.

So anyway, i guess i shall have to wait till NOV 25. Yup.

Alright, i think ive stalled enough. Shall get started on my essay ok?

In Tense

Like yunxian mentioned yesterday, i think people are getting really nervy in NUS, with the datelines and mid term tests and all. I guess im no exception. Ive become paranoid!!

Well, at least ive been feeling okay lately. I mean SS dateline and my article's dateline has been pushed back by a week. But still, i feel like i should get em over and done with as quickly as possible. Also, stats MCQ result was a mood lifter, although almost everyone did as well if not better. Alhamdulillah nonetheless.

Doumecq said my oral wasnt bad. In fact he said it was good overall. Hmm. Wonder what he meant by good. But considering i thought it'd be bad, good is well, good. Right?

Waiting for my bro to fetch me soon.....and im darn lazy to do work...even though i MUST.

Hmm, maybe i should think of that satisfying feeling after accomplishing smt.....that ahhhh feeling...yes, i shall strive for that.

Bring it on

Today's French test was a bummer joy-killer total bleurgh. I felt so stupid. Still do. Doesnt help that i have brilliant friends and classmates. Great. Just perfect. I will never in a million years smell an A for french. Im beginning to doubt if i can even scrape a B this time. The funny thing is, I feel that ive put in more effort this sem than the previous sems. Not that it matters. Everyone else is probably working as hard if not more than i am. Darn you people. (sigh, its fasting month...must practise restrain)

Still, is it me, or are the ppl around me getting competitive? Come ah. But let me just warn you, competition is a double edged sword. It can spur you on, but you can also self-destruct.

So if there's anyone of you out there who wants to compete with me, i say bring it on. Just tell it to my face if you want to. Dont pretend that youre not.

Though, note to self and everyone else out there, my only competition is myself. Cos who cares what other people get? I mean, I just wanna be satisfied knowing that ive done my best...but when provoked into competition, be warned, i will rise to the occassion. I will beat you to pulp.

You have been warned. Do not incur my wrath.

PS: forgive my rather icky mood entry. French. Blame it on the french test.

Keep on moving...

Wah..my fingers are freezing. In the central lib. Must say, everyone's busy busy busy working on their respective term papers.

So why on earth am i in school on my free day? Heh, i had to hand in my film proj 3, which by the way, is rather crappy in content. Ah well..at least i submitted it. :)

Had a consulation with my SS tutor. Was totally loss and fickle as to which topic i was gonna do. Eventually settled on one and im gonna get started soon. Initially, i was suppose to do with yunxian but quite frankly, i dont wanna jeopardise her grades. Sekali last minute i change topic! Choy. Hope not.

Yeah, so im "working" on an intro paragraph for it.

Does anyone out there have a singaporean friend of chinese + indian origin and who's not muslim? PLEASE get back to me like NOW.

Have a french test on monday. Yesterday's oral was kinda funny. It was over and done with so quickly. And my tutor kept interrupting me that ilost my train of thought. Well, at least i tried. 20 percent....in less than 10 minutes.

Next, I have this 30% SS term paper. I really really wanna do a good one. If only i had more solid facts and well, more confidence. I need to be sure of what i wanna write before i write it. I dont want it to be a rushed substanceless paper that my most of my previous essays were.

Likewise with film essay which is due at the end of the month. I havent even thought much about what im gonna write.

Then theres the abnormal MCQ which is 40% and would be a brilliant waste if i dont study hard for it. 40% for a mid term given that its MCQ is God-sent. I must take advantage of that! If i'd only touched my textbook earlier.

But you know what? In the flurry of datelines and all,

I will chill.

I wanna enjoy what i do. If i dont, im pretty darn sure it would translate itself to my essays..

Yup. And before you know it, the month would be over and it'll be HARI RAYA!! :)

Then just 2 more weeks of school, then finally a one week reading week when i can mug un-interrupted for the finals.

AND then, HOLIDAYS!!!

Life goes on and i know that. I miss her a little. Wonder what hari raya would be like this year.

PS:Thanks to all my friends who stood by me last week. You know who you guys are. Thank you so so so much. Think i would have cracked otherwise.

Baba

Dear friends,

My grandma passed away yesterday.
She was 90
She was strong
She is/was the gentlest lady ever
My Baba

I cant bring myself to type anymore w/o tearing (already am)

Not gonna blog further about this.

Inna lillahi wa inna illahi rajiun.

Allahhuakhbar.

PS: Life on earth is only a transitory period. I think that in some sense, this has been a painful reminder that i shouldnt be completely immersed with my "worldly affairs". I had forgotten that death comes to us all. Inevitably. And we will be judged upon what we have done in this world. So as we go about doing what we do, i think it is wise to humble ourselves with the knowledge that in death, our achievements and merits (grades, career and everything material) will not matter. But it is our deeds, our actions, and our sins that would.

Life (or a lack of it)

Monday. School. Bleugh.

Actually, today wasnt that bad...except this morn when i got my french test back *mutter mutter* It isnt that bad lah. But I expect more of myself. Film was okay. Stats proposal approved. So yeah.

Anyway,

Had an interesting question thrown at me over lunch by su teck.

Suteck: So farah, besides academic stuff, what do you do during your free time? (ie hobby)
Me: Blank. Blink. blink.

Note to self: Get a hobby, woman. Sheesh.

Another level

So yesterday, after much anticipation, my darling and I went to Seoul Garden and pigged out.

You see, Najib didnt have much faith in my eating abilities. i.e. he thought that i was the kinda girls who'd eat a little and feel full. He even went on to say that "we're not ready...our relationship hasnt reached that level".

I say, bring it on.

And so we did. Hehehehheh. I WON!! (and theres no way you can say you gave me face cos puhlease..you looked so pained!!)

I, yes I, was the last one standing(eating) as he raised his white flag (his white wet towel seoul garden provided by seoul garden)

Muahahhahah.

But i must say lah, i cant fault him. The food kinda got boring after a while. We tried almost everything on display that after nearly 4 hours there, we basically had nothing to eat .Nor the appetite to cos everthing tasted the same.

So we left seoul garden with bulging tummies, nauseated. Urgh.

Walked all the way home. Which was great cos at least we exercised and felt better.

Man, can you imagine feeling so bleeping full that you find it difficult to walk, and talk at the same time? Hahhahahah.

Ahh...what a day/night.

Mommy!! Its over!!

Cant believe term break ends today. In fact, some friends have school today. Poor things.

Still, what have i done this term break? na-da. zilch. zero. kosong.
Note to self: Do not read Eugene's blog unless youve had a productive day.

On the other hand, as ive mentioned earlier, this week has served as a "refresher" week for me. Not that i deserved it in the first place. But i guess what this means is that i'll have to work doubly hard till the cows come home and become beef. (Sobs)

Also, it will be scary going back to school. I'll be getting back most of my assignments. Will be getting back my film project, french test and the stats proposal. Then OH MY GOD....i have A STATS MID TERM TEST ON WED!!!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

And i have a SS term paper due 15 oct
And a film essay due 31 Oct.
And a french oral in 2 weeks time
And tonnes of french hmk due this week
And a stats lab assignment...
And i havent printed out all my unprinted lect notes. ARGH.

Panic. Panic. PANIC!!

Blast from the past

Its kinda funny, looking back at old photographs. The memories; "gosh, i was that fat?!" to "oh my gosh, im fatter now" to "what was i thinking wearing that?!" Ahh. Memories. Coincidentally, i wasnt the only one reminisicing about the Dunman days. haha. Briony, thank you so much for letting me read what i wrote 4 years ago...wow. I amaze myself. Cringe.
Here's what she blogged:

An autographed entry
Before I left Dunman secondary, I passed around an autograph book for my classmates to fill.I've decided to put up a particular entry because
1) It's flattering - to a certain extent
2) The person who wrote it reads my blog
3) The person has a sense of humour
4) I wanna prove a point to her.. I HAVEN'T LOST MY AUTOGRAPH BOOK. (Read on to understand the reason to my capitalised sentence.)

First page:WELCOME.....Foolish Mortal!Muah.. Ha..Ha...Enter at your OWN risk!!!Muah. Ha! Ha!*But remember.....Curiosity killed the cat!!Hahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahaha...................

2nd page:So I see.... I see you have not heeded my warning! Fine for thou shalt suffer a fate worse than any man can ever imagine..... to read a pathetic entry by the one called F***H THE GREAT! (suspense music) Ha! Ha! HA! Yes.... you bumbling moron.... you have started reading... the curse is initiated!!! (Suspense music again) Don't quiver now... it's too late... thou's impending doom awaits!!! (Music again..... Gawd, this is getting stupid.) What is thou mumbling under thou breath? Thou does not believe in the curse that has been passed down for a zillion years? Hohoho.... you foolish, foolish imbecile!! Just you wait and see.... you'd be honkering page after page... but it isn't you... it's your fingers, your brains that will control you!!!! Soon you'd be too absorbed by the entry that slowly... slowly..... ha! Ha! Ha! HA!........

3rd page:*A lot of words telling me that no curse actually exists*She then continues: I'm gonna use up a lot of pages. So sorry.. but den again.... who cares? I want yer to remember me so I must write a lot.... right? Oh well... here goes nothing....

4th page:*Adding her personal details and answering the questions that I posed at the start of the book*

Q: If you had a million, what would you do?
A: I'd buy Briony a big house..... as if! Nah I'm buy loads of stuff for everyone.

Q: What is the one thing that really angers you?
A: Hypocrisy, negligence, irresponsibility, selfishness.... I could go on forever. (Really)

Q: 1st thing you notice about the opposite sex?
A: The way he walks, talks, eyes, hair.... the whole package basically. (yep)

Q: Would you want me to design your wedding dress?
A: Yep I'd be glad to have you as my designer.... Free hor!

Q: Do you find yourself the smartest, most beautiful person in the world?
A: I AM A GENIUS.... really! Just need to bring that brain out of my arse. I AM ALSO THE MOST BEAUTIFUL LADY THAT EVER EXISTED.

Q: What is the one nightmare that haunts you day and night?
A: Not having any fun people to tok to. Being around pple who have absolutely no sense of humour. I'd die.

Q: Anything worth remembering?
A: Meeting Briony and tormenting her school life in class.

Q: If you were to meet your idol, how would you prepare?
A: I am my own idol, so I'm pretty prepared.

Q: If there's one thing you'd like to change about yourself, what would it be?
A: Nahuh..... I LOVE MYSELF too much.

Q: Would you dye your hair pink?
A: ARE YOU MAD? Perhaps in another country but here? Pple are too judgemental and besides, I might get arrested!

5th page:Ok..... So I'm not done yet.... I promise, this is the last page... I got to finish my homework anyway!! hey you know what? As I'm writing this I wonder if this book will ever be lost! I mean you're so forgetful, I won't be surprised if you lose this... you'd better not though!! I've put in a lot of effort just for you!!! Hmph!!!Dearest Briony... you smart, funny, clumsy, forgetful person... my dear dear friend/buddy. Thanks for making my life in 4A a real blast... you're so goofy(That's a compliment) and funny that sometimes I look forward to school to 'play' with you! Be it talking about world issues, feminism(Did we?), singing practically nonsense, poking, beating the crap outta each other juz coz we feel the itch to do it.... ok...ok... that's mainly me but you get the idea.... I don't wanna flatter you too much or else your ego will be twice the size of your butt! Talking about butts, I think you should stop worrying about it unless you're scared it'll fall off.... (huh?) well well... I hope we stay in touch with each other ... in fact we must! you're really one nice person a gal can talk with..... I mean serious issues here!! you can be a debater you know! Or a poilitcal correspondant for the Straits Times/Newsweek. blabla.... it's really mentally stimulating to have a conversation with you!! That's really great coz not many pple can connect with me and my odd sense of humour. Thanks for being patient with my annoying alter ego!! I hope we remain friends forever. Go call me.....

Oh yes!! Don't forget I'm supposed to be your maid of honour!! better remember. you promised!


(CRINGE....did i really write all that Briony?)

Handover!

Yes, yet another dinner by SWAPS. When i told my sis that i was gonna be having a handover dinner by SWAPS she went like "AGAIN??" Well, not really what......ok lah, granted, I have been attending quite a number of swaps events even though ive stepped down.

Hey, but last night was a free dinner at a vegetarian indian restaurant called the Ganges at Peninsular Plaza...so why not? Plus, the 19th com gave us really nice gifts: A tiny scroll of appreciation and this wooden frame, with a small mirror in its centre and with our names written below it, and a finger puppet attached to it. :) Thanks guys! Could really see the effort you guys put in! :)

I went home yesterday cos well, the others were thinking of clubbing. Haiya, clubbing just isnt my thing. Quite frankly, Im scared to even step into one....i guess its cos my dad kept drilling into my head the bads of going to clubs.So naturally, i'd think that only "budak jahat" would go, drink, dance and well, get into trouble. I mean, i know my friends who go clubbing arent "budak jahats" but still, i guess i just cant shake that mentality off. Besides, i mean, i dont drink. I dont dance. I cant stand loud music. And i dont know why but when i think of clubs, i think of dark, dingy places. Eek. Maybe one day, i might have a look but yeah, anyway, I firmly believe that there are better ways to have fun.

Besides, i think if i were to stay out later than 12, my dad will panic. Haha. :)

Cant believe term break ends today. Havent done ANYTHING productive. Ah well, i shall treat this as "Recharge Week". After all, ive been sleeping for about 10 hours a day. Such luxury. :) But still, im a bit perplexed. Why do i look so tired when im not? I mean, i was looking at the photos i took yesterday during the dinner. How come everyone else seemed so radiant and i look so darn dull and tired? Gargh. I look so worn out. When its soooo not true. Hmm. Maybe i need to exercise more or smt. Anyone has any brilliant idea????

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Something is terribly wrong with me.

I woke up this morn (ie 1/2 hour ago) thinking its DECEMBER.

What the heck? I felt bliss. Like theres nothing to do...

WHEN ITS MID SEM BREAK AND IVE GOT TONNES OF THINGS TO DO!!!

I think my body and mind's in denial.

Someone, jolt me. Awake me from this lie I live....i mean december??!

Wasted!!!!

Just got back from IMH (Institute of Mental Health) as part of my abnormal psychology module requirement. I must say, that when i first stepped into the compound, i was really impressed. The place looks like a resort...and it didnt have that icky clinical feeling most hospitals would. :)

Anyway, i just broke my fast. But im not happy. Cos its like less than 2 hours before the official "break fast" time...but i discovered that my fast couldnt be counted cos i just got my period. GARGH. What a waste!!!! Like 2 hours more lah.

Oh well. At least i know i can survive once Ramadan arrives yet again. Yup guys, the fasting month officially starts on either e 3rd or 4th of October so yeah, Farah and her muslim friends wouldnt be able to eat nor drink for one month. :)

So why was i fasting today? Cos i owe certain number of days..and i gotta pay em back before fasting month. Yeah...Hope i can repay em in time....

Alright..im gonna eat now.

Still, 2 hours more. What a waste.