Its been a while since i could get myself typing. I think im cracking. My head's not exploding but its developing hair line cracks. But im optimistic. I take back all the bad things i said about my subcom. I like them. I think their trustworthy. I think i'd be shattered to pieced without them.
Ive also kinda learnt to work on my own. Ive been depending too much on zhisheng. Heh, i read his blog and well, i wasnt glad to see that he thinks that im one who needs weaning. Perhaps i do. In fact, i guess i am like that. But at least im cutting it back.
Im not gonna talk abt my swaps stuff yet. Finished typing out emails to ppl...im sick of typing the same thing.
Im glad i have friends outside swaps. Its not that i dont appreciate them. I love them all. Without them, my uni days would be immensely empty. But recently, i find myself wondering....how come i dread going to the table? know why? cos i"ll constantly be reminded of work. swaps work. did you know i was so afraid to switch my pc on a few days back? that i was glad my comp hang and the connection was bad? that i rarely go on msn? i was running. i was escaping my responsibilities. i was a coward. but, at least i managed to take myself out of the wreck-ed stressed mess i was. I took a step back and begun prioritising...and im glad i did...things are looking up for me. Little things dont bother me anymore. I tell myself, if i can survive this, i will be prepared for life. LIFE. And of course, ive realised, i shouldnt be afraid to say im stressed. i was so sacred to admit it cos i was so afraid that people would compare their workload and commitments to mine and scoff. ive learnt that i am i. and they are they.
Im also glad i went for the 02a53 outing today. It was refreshing. I needed it. Yes, i was entitled to it.
till next time, i have 6 hrs to sleep cos ive gotta wake up early for tuition tmr.(yes, farah is employed!!! thanks joanne sime!)
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