D-day Part Two

Just go home. Really tired. Now they're both over.....over....over. I should be glad....relieved..satisfied...but strangely, i feel nothing. I mean i tried psyching myself into believeing that im super satisfied and all but i realised...i feel....nothing.

Could it be because i know that its far from over? That this is only the beginning? Cos i know i will never be completley free. That i will never be able to put 100 per cent into my studies ie my real work as an undergrad? That it wont even be over this semester? It will be only truly over in late August? How satisfied can i be? Heh, to think i kept saying "i cant wait for this sem to end" when by gosh, "i cant wait for THIS YEAR to end". Im so so so so tired. I just wanna focus on my studies. I am UNDERPERFORMING. That's the worst fact. I know that im underperforming and i cant do anything. I need more ME time.

Haiz.

Had french just now. Well, thats one down. And in a sad twist of events, i will have my french oral next thurs and know what? I know i"ll be busy preparing for open house.

I JUST WANNA CUT AND RUN. RUN AWAY FROM IT ALL.

But no, i cannot. Farah is not that type of person. Even though im far from perfect, i never back out of something i agree to do. Well, at least i try to the best of my ability lah. Bah. I just i just gotta suck it up and fulfill my obligation/duties to the best of my ability. Perhaps God wants me to learn something.....like time management? Haha.

Haha.