I have finally woken up from my september slumber. Im finding it hard to breathe suddenly. i guess its because Ive received an email from my sup. Funny how my chest constricts and my blood pressure increases and i have this sudden rush of angst whenever i think of my ht but particularly when i think of that man. A big part of me wants to be benign and let go of all negativity and be zen. The other part wishes he'll keel over and die. And then run over by a truck a few times before an anvil drops onto him, extinguishing the very last breath left in his vile body. SIGH. I know. Such evil thoughts. I never thought i could type that all out and not feel a tinge of remorse and even felt...strangely contented. I guess im really numb la huh.
Anyway, hopefully, in a year's time I'll look back and laugh ruefully.
For now, Im still trying to ensure my zen-ish side prevails. I need to pray more. I need to purge my evil thoughts. I need to be forgiving of people's idiosyncracies. I need to let go.
It is bulan ramadan. I should be at peace. Should. Trying. Sigh.
Astagfirullah.What would the nabi do?
Breathe.
END POST~12.02am
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