So what does this mean?

I just received an email from OSA asking me to come down for an RA briefing. Does this imply that i have been given the position? I sure hope not. Let's hope a briefing is just a briefing.

Im really having doubts as to whether i should go for this RA position. I mean, i'll be in year 3. YEAR THREE!!! Do i want to put myself through a whole new experience? Having to be responsible and all that stuff? LIving away from home? It'll all add up to ADDITIONAL stress.

Ya, so what if i cut travel time? Will this travel time then be eaten up by my RA commitments? Then there's fasting month, hari raya...

Then there's being away from my main source of social support....am i willing to risk my focus in my THIRD YEAR??

I was really psyched up for the position until yesterday. For the past week, i was unable to focus. I wasnt able to concentrate for my dev quiz today. And i simply was not motivated. Being alone at home made it worse cos i keep sleeping and stuff...so when my parents and sis came back yesterday, i suddenly found direction again! Its like...i cant describe it...but its like everything is back to as it should be..this inner peace...and then i can focus on what i have to do....

Oh no! Im so dependent on them! Like i need them as a security base before exploring...and being competent and all (bringing in theory of attachment)

Then like that HOW? How will i survive on campus for a whole 4-5 months? I wont be able to survive lah.

Oh NO! then if i wanna do postgrad overseas??? I'll probably be too chicken to break out of my comfort zone!

Hence, the RA position will force me into becoming independent, thrust me into a 'foreign' environment where i'll have to swim or drown (or take the mRT back to tamp crying)...

Plus, having RA on my CV would be darn impeccable lah....

BUT in MY THIRD YEAR??

Whatever lah. I shall go for the briefing. It isnt a confirmation. Its a BRIEFING.

Breathe farah, breathe.

Shall focus on this sem first.

I want my fammy. :( I love my fammy.

Ive just baby-worded family.

(Bang head on table)

Anyway, waiting for bro to pick me up. Need to shop for present for my other bro's birthday....

Till then, im still deciding on a research qn for health psych report. Hmm.