Sometime back, I published a post, admitting how much I am afraid of loneliness. To wake up one day and realise that I have no one, besides family, to spend time with and to do fun stuff with. Even earlier than that post, was a one wherein I questioned whether certain connection I feel with people only relates to the domain of studies, after which, zilch.
And so with the effects of the 3-day week (with minimal breaks) coming into play, I begin to notice how my previous posts carried with them certain elements of truth. Im losing touch with people. And i cant help but feel that they too, have forgotten about me. With the exception of one person, I hardly share modules with my other friends. I try to have lunch with another yet we both find it difficult to meet up. I try to blend once again every fri for lunch w another grp but for the past few times, i did, i felt left out.
Gosh, i sound like im wallowing in self-pity eh? Haha. Yeah, i suppose having free time at home does make you think abt things a lot. Doesnt help that Farhana's busy with school, najib's overseas and Winston's well, busy i suppose. Everyone's busy. I should be too. Maybe at least then, i can keep myself from wandering into insecure thoughts. Heh, i was showering when i tried to imagine who would actually turn up for my 21st birthday party. Im not gonna have one, by the way. Bad timing. Everyone, including me, will have term papers due and all. Too much hype about the 21st. In fact, im not expecting anything from anyone except close friends (u better) and family. But heh, just for kicks, i will still come up with a birthday wishlist.
Ok lah, should not sound so pessimistic lah. I know you guys are busy. But that doesnt mean you wont be there right? Besides, I know of a friend who seldom talks to me but when we do chat, it can last for hours! Right, Kat? :)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think i need a shot of happy hormones and stop whining!
Going for a swim tmr...cant wait :)
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